Acceptance
by sweetprincipale
Summary: A sequel to A Model Romance and Desire  please read those first . Alternate S.6- Spike and Buffy chose each other and overcame many obstacles to do so. Now Buffy works on fully accepting Spike into every area of her life. Rated M. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Good for the Soul and ACeH-aH_

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part I

_We could be any normal couple in the world_, Buffy thought as she and Spike sat at the dining room table, both barefoot, in jeans and tees, sipping from steaming mugs. Okay, hers was coffee and his was blood, but aside from that.

"I don't have to. Stay. If you don't want me to." Spike's voice was quiet, but strong. _She said it in the heat of a moment. She meant it, I know she did- but she's famous for the slip an' slide on what she wants._

"Do you want to-leave?" She gasped, scalding herself as she swallowed a gulp instead of a sip.

"Bloody hell, no!"

"Thank God!" They both looked relieved.

"I never want to leave." He took her hand.

"Good." She squeezed him back.

"So...that room is our room?" He tried out this dream come true .

"Yes." She giggled.

"And that's our bed?"

"Yes."Giggling turning into a sinful smile.

"Is this - our house?" He whispered this part, not hesitant, but very serious. She had made it clear it was their room, but the house might be too big a leap for her. He felt her fingers twitch, but didn't let them go.

"Yes. This is our house." She answered in a hoarse voice filled with trepidation.

"Sweetlet, I can-"

"This is _our _house. I'm grown up, Spike. New year. New me. New life. This is going to be _our_ home. Where you go to sleep each night and wake up each day. Next to me."

He stood up so fast the chair pelted to the ground, but he didn't care. He picked her up, swooping her into a cradle carry. "Sorry, I remembered something urgent I have to do."

"What?" She giggled._ Geez, I giggle a lot when I just stop being a bitch and let him in. Where he belonged anyway. Blind much?_

"Oh... just you."

"But we just got dressed!"

"Get undressed!" He ordered playfully.

"If I refuse?" She countered, swinging her legs lightly at his side as he flopped her onto the bed.

"How much do you like those clothes? 'Cause I wouldn't mind ripping them off of you..." He warned.

"I'm undressing, I'm undressing! Don't go Hulk on me."

"I won't. I look bloody awful in green."

He came to her like a seal slipping between waves of sheets, smooth and silent, joy in his eyes like she'd never seen. "You look so happy." She marveled.

"You did that." He praised. "An' you look happy yourself."

"You did that."

Giles kissed Dawn's cheek as she climbed sluggishly out of the red Beemer. "I'm sorry the couch isn't more comfortable. You could have taken the bed."

"Pfft. No! You're so way taller than me, you'd die on the couch."

"Well, it was sweet of you to be my cheering section at the slam."

"You were getting very checked out, you know."

"It was New Year's Eve. No one was 'checking me out' unless they were intoxicated."

"Believe what you want." She sing songed. "Oh, I got numbers for you! I threw out all the skanky goth girls' numbers, but there were like three decent ones. I wrote a description of the lady next to the number. They're on your fridge under the Big Ben magnet."

"Dawn! _Dawn_!" He sputtered.

"Why should you be lonely?" She smiled.

"I'm not lonely." He insisted. She rolled her eyes, starting to walk away. He jumped the door like a much younger man in a fifties flick, catching her elbow. "We cannot all be paired up conveniently, Sweetheart." He explains gently. "These things take time."

"I know. Sometimes it isn't convenient." She sighs. "Poor Spike and Buffy. They are never, ever gonna get this thing off the ground."

"Again, it takes time. It's only been a few months for them. We're all moving forward nicely, I thought. I don't know what you expect them to do." Giles followed her blindly into the house he's come to feel was his own, starting when Joyce passed and he stepped into the breach more than ever, steadily increasing his time there when Buffy passed. He found himself almost wishing Spike might be some of the support the girls needed. He had become so tangled in their lives that he had almost cracked, almost left. Sometimes a bit of breathing room was needed. Spike had been a help, he supposed.

"I don't know! Just, don't you think they're perfect for each other?"

Giles gave her a frankly scornful look. "Perfect?"

"Yes. _Perfect_- _for each other_. Emphasis on 'for each other.' " She glared.

"Bloody hell." He pinched the bridge of his nose and gave in. "He's a thoroughly obnoxious person- to almost everyone else. But yes. I concede. He's perfect for your sister. He loves her and cares for her and doesn't place unreasonable demands on her. He also knows his way around the weapons chest but he can't hurt her. That's what I'm looking for in her suitors." Dawn gave him an unbearably self-satisfied grin and he wanted to slap her cute little mouth for it. But, being responsible he resisted and continued in his fatherly voice of reason."Now- just give them some time. I'm sure things will 'get off the ground' as you put it."

From upstairs the sudden sound of a deep throated female moan and an appreciative cry of "God, yes, Buffy!" caused Giles and Dawn to literally trip over themselves to get out of the house.

"Oh my God! Oh my God, Houston, we have lift off!" Dawn, sitting on her rear, flung her arms wildly around Giles' neck. Giles, similarly sprawled but facing sideways grimaced and retrieved his glasses from the porch floor.

"Yes, it sounds like we do." He sighed and hid his smile. "Alright. Get back in the car."

"Huh? Why?"

"I'm not leaving you alone to listen to the uh- the-" He blushed and gestured towards the second floor.

"The wild Spike and Buffy lovin'?" Dawn was not in the least abashed.

"Yes, that. It's New Year's Day. I've heard it's traditional to make an ungodly large pork roast and lots of roast potatoes and invite friends round." He gave her a secretive smile as they brushed themselves down and stood. "Care to play hostess?"

"Me?" She squealed, and then stopped, made herself look mature and dignified. "Yes, that would be delightful."

Giles laughed and ruffled her hair. "When did you grow up?"

"When you stopped acting like such a grumpy old fart." She slid her arm through his.

"I resent that!"

"It can still be true, even if you resent it." She pointed out complacently.

"You're impossible."

"But not as bad as Buffy." She smiled broadly.

"No, thank heavens. Come along. Playing the hostess involves many chores. Including peeling potatoes."

"Can I opt out now?"

"No, you've said yes, and therefore you're bound by the solemn New Year's Pork Roast Oath." He held the door for her with a flourish and shut it after with a chuckle.

"I'm so looking that up when we get to your place." She grumbled, but they both smiled all the way back to Giles' apartment.

"I'll get it!" Buffy skidded down the stairs in a pair of pink panties and matching bra, her hair wet and tangled on her shoulders.

"Put some clothes on, woman! Bit should be home soon!" Spike stuck his head out of the bathroom door, then emerged cautiously in a towel.

"Hello?" Buffy picked up the phone on the fifth ring.

"Hi, Love Monkey Number One." Dawn's chipper voice greeted her.

"I'm gonna kill Giles! He let you drink, didn't he?"

"NO! And geez- I'm gonna be sixteen soon. That's old enough to drink in England."

"Remind me not to go to England with you. Why are you calling me Love Monkey, and why aren't you home?"

"I _was _home- about twenty minutes ago. And _that's _why I'm calling you Love Monkey Number One- and give my love to Love Monkey Number Two."

"Stop teasing your sister." Giles' muffled voice joined Dawn's.

"Is that your sis? Where is she, it's nearly half ten!" Spike's voice joined Buffy's as he clomped down the stairs.

"Oh God. Oh God, why didn't you- I don't know- knock?" Buffy ignored him, staring unseeing as she gripped the phone.

"Knock? To come into my own house? When you knew I was coming back this morning?"

"Sorry, sorry..." Buffy put her head in her hand and leaned back against Spike's chest as came to stand behind her.

"So I'm still at Giles. And we're having everyone over for New Year's Day dinner."

"Wait- _we_? At our house?"

"No! At Giles' house. I'm playing hostess. He's the host. Since we're both the only singles now, we've decided to be event buddies."

"What? That man is _not_ takin' you to prom." Spike gasped.

"No! Like- I'm his cheering section for guitar gigs and I'm the hostess for important dinners. Until I get him fixed up."

"Please try to talk her out of that notion, Buffy- she's been taking numbers for me!" Giles pleaded, voice all the sudden much clearer.

"Hey! Give that back!" Dawn's voice faded from the receiver.

"Giles. Thank you a million, billion times for having Dawn last night."

"Yes- er- well- you're welcome."

"Oh no... you walked in with her, didn't you?" Buffy wished the floor would just swallow her up.

"No- erm- no reason to be- ashamed." Giles' fought past his own reservations to offer her support.

"Would you want people walking in on you?"

"Does the name Olivia mean anything to you?" Giles asked sarcastically.

"I will forgot what I saw if you will forget what you heard." She begged.

"Agreed."

"And we shall never speak of it again?" Buffy's breathing returned to normal.

"Amen." He laughed. "Dinner at four. Dawn is safe, and yes, she is playing hostess-" he dropped his voice, "she's very proud of the fact, so play along."

"Will do, Rupes. Give the phone to Bit?" Spike interrupted.

"Only for a minute. She has vacuuming to do."

"Potatoes, yes! Vacuuming was _not_ in the agreement!"

After a few minutes, Spike hung up the phone and turned to his lover, her cheeks now matching the pink undies she wore. "So- we've been tumbled?"

"My sister and the guy who's like my father heard us having sex."

"Making love." He corrected, trying not to get hard again looking at her moodily straddling the arm of the couch.

"But- they were both really supportive. Although obnoxious on Dawn's part and dy ing of mortification on Giles' part. Can you do something with her?"

"What, take her for a ride?" Spike cocked his head.

"No. Talk her out of calling us 'Love Monkey One and Love Monkey Two'."

Spike grimaced. "I will. Right quick."

"Everyone's here!" Dawn squealed. "Hey, you drove the Jeep." She took Spike's coat in true hostess fashion.

"Nope,_ I_ drove the Jeep." Buffy looked terrified and pleased with herself.

"I got to say an entire Latin mass while she did it." Spike staggered into the living room, held up a bottle of wine as their contribution to the meal, and then passed it to Giles. "Be a good man and pour the whole thing in a glass for me."

"You remember an entire Latin mass?" Tara looked impressed

"Vampires can _say_ mass?" Xander looked disbelieving.

"Mouth smoked a bit, but it took my mind of the ever present threat of me dyin' by car crash."

"You can't die in a car crash."

"Can if she blows the soddin' car up and I burst into flame."

"You know, just because you're my boyfriend and I'm madly in love with you doesn't mean you can tease me in front of our friends." Buffy poked him in the ribs and pouted.

The room fell silent. Even Spike, irrepressible as he was, just stared at her open mouthed and unashamedly looking like he might shed happy tears. "Yeah. I- you're-" For once his quick wit couldn't get there fast enough. Buffy tugged his head down firmly with one hand and kissed him soundly on the lips. For a long, long time.

Giles smiled and Dawn bit her lip, suppressing her squeal by putting a death grip on his elbow and bouncing up and down beside him. "That looks like a good idea." Anya grabbed Xander and copied. Tara shyly brushed her lips to Willow's.

"I feel left out." Dawn pouted and looked at Giles.

"I know."

"If you find a hot woman, can you maybe see if she has a hot teen son from a previous relationship?"

"I'll put it in the requirements list." He winked. "Now- as host and hostess, let's get dinner on the table."

Xander and Spike stood shoulder to shoulder in Giles' tiny galley kitchen. "So. She's lost her mind." Xander had held off commenting on Buffy's openness with Spike until they were alone together.

"Or found it." Spike smirked.

"You and me are never gonna get along."

"Not much."

"I can kick your ass, you know that."

"I know I can't kick yours because I'm chipped. Whether you can land a hit on me isn't proven. Ow!" Spike glared at Xander after being flicked on the ear with a wet tea towel. "That doesn't count, Bricklayer."

"The point being- you hurt her-"

"I die? Slowly and painfully? Inventively as well?"

"That sums it up." Xander muttered grimly. "You couldn't even let me threaten you, you big jerk?"

"Sorry, go an' puff up, manly man."

"I'll getcha later." Xander had to grin. His grin slowly faded. "You're lucky."

Spike tilted his head. "I know that."

"No. I mean, really lucky. Not just for a miserable, undead bastard like you. Lucky for a well hung millionaire genius model."

"Well, I don't know 'bout the millionaire part but- ow! Now stop flickin' my ear!"

"Then shut your pasty mouth." Xander held a carving knife menacingly in front of him for a moment and then put it down with a sigh. "Buffy- Buffy is something that you can't even imagine. She's beautiful inside and out, and she's fearless. Except about getting her heart hurt. You hurt her heart, you'll make her afraid. You make her afraid- I'll -Spike- I haven't even figured out what I'll do, but death will be the most preferable option."

Spike appraised him. "About time you grew a set. Oh, an' about time you lot noticed that. She's not just afraid of gettin' her heart hurt by men she falls for- she's afraid of losin' _your_ love an' respect. All those she cares for, all of you can scar her up inside. An' I don't ever want to see that happen." His tone was glacial and left no room for misinterpretation.

Xander nodded slowly. "I see we have an understanding."

"That's the way they say it." Spike's grin was infectious, instantly replacing the cool gaze he'd worn. "No threats for me to leave her alone? Back off?"

"God dammit, Spike, you back off and leave her and I'll kill you."

"I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Spike whistled as he returned to washing up.

"That was the best New Year's Day ever. Let's do that every year." Dawn sighed contentedly as Spike parked the Jeep beside the motorcycle. "The bike's here?"

"The bike will be stayin' here. 'Til I get the garage cleared up. Then it'll be here, but inside."

Dawn's eyes grew wider and wider, thinking about Buffy's unashamed, obvious affection for Spike in front of others, the fact that he'd spent the night, the bike staying... By the time she got in the house, she was almost nonverbal with excitement. "Buffy!" She cornered her sister. "Is Spike- staying here tonight?"

"Yep."

"And he stayed last night?"

"Yep." Buffy's eyes twinkled. _I am about to earn the big sister of the year award. Pretty spectacular after earning worst sister of the year, most oblivious sister of the year, and most unloving sister of the year award a couple months ago._

"So...umm. What's going on?"

"Is it okay if Spike lives here?"

"Is it- is it- is it okay?" Dawn's laughing shout made it nearly impossible for her to speak. Her telltale shrill of joy tore through the house and she knocked her sister down with her exuberant hug. "Are you serious? 'Cause if you're joking about this that's the meanest thing you ever did to me and I'll never, ever forgive you times infinity so are you serious or not?"

Buffy lay on her back, looking up at her sister whose face had gone from gleeful to severe and scowling during the space of her long threat. "I am one hundred percent serious. Spike is living here."

"With you. As your boyfriend. As in you're together, in the same room?"

"As in all of that." Buffy turned her head to see Spike coming up from the basement and into the dining room.

"This is new." Spike stopped short and scratched his head. "Buffy, aren't you supposed to be the one pinnin' people to the ground?"

"Not tonight. She's no match for happy girl." Dawn bounced up and hugged Spike. "You're moving in. Geez, should we rent a truck? What about your telly? And the microwave and mini fridge?"

"I'll look after that end of things." Spike reassured. He hadn't even thought of that. He'd been planning to rent a cheap room in the not so great, not entirely terrible part of town until yesterday. And now he was home, with his girls. Everything he'd ever wanted. "No worries."

"This is the best day ever." Dawn smiled with a serenity that neither of her companions had ever seen. "We can be-" she bit her lip and spoke carefully, "like a family?"

Spike gave her a quick warning glance. Bloody hell, leave it to Bit to press it. He waited, holding an unneeded breath to hear Buffy's response.

"It's not going to be a -" She paused. "It's not a normal family. But it can be a really great family."

"Screw normal! This is _our_ family! It's not just really great, it's the total best!"

"I think this calls for hot chocolate. Sit down. I'll make it. Extra marshmallows. No, Bit, I know, not for you."

An hour later, Buffy tucked Dawn in, even though her sister made it perfectly clear she didn't need to be tucked. "Go! You have Spike. He's been waiting for you forever, and now you're here, in my room. Go be in your room!" Dawn gave her a nudge. More of a really hard push.

"Stop that, I'm going to start thinking you just want me to be Spike's personal bedroom bunny." Buffy resisted the shove and sat on the foot of the teen's bed.

"Not 'just', but some."

"But I'm your sister. I need to talk to you."

"Okay. Talk fast. And then I want you to go in there and not come out until morning." Dawn said in her best "mom" voice.

"Geez, you'd think a kid never played the old 'I need a glass of water' ploy before me." Buffy laughed. "I wanted to talk to you about making some kind of schedule. For people to stay with you when I patrol." She waited for the whining to begin, heavy on the repetition of reasons why she was old enough to be left alone. Dawn just nodded, and fished around under her pillow for a notebook and pen. "You're taking notes?"

"I'm making a schedule. You're organizationally challenged. If it wasn't for Willow and Giles, you would probably still be in high school." She smiled sweetly. "Hey!" She cried as Buffy bopped her with a plush purple bear. "Sorry, no toy violence. Continue."

"Well- we have to ask people."

"And they'll say yes.

"Right. So-" _God. I _am _organizationally challenged..._

"So obviously it'll have to be flexible, because you never know when the whole gang is needed, and they want to help patrol sometimes probably. But let's see- Giles for one night. Can Spike take one?"

"Uh- yeah."

"Okay. And then Spike could patrol for you one night so you can hang with me. So that's three. And maybe you can take some nights off sometimes, so there can be free slots." Dawn made a grid and started filling it in. "Tara and Willow said I can go there, but it 'll have to be on Friday or Saturday because I can't go on a school night, and then Willow and Tara can come here one night and sleep in the guest bedroom if you get back late. Oh, we have to move your stuff around and make your room the guest room. I'll help." Dawn bounced on the bed once and then resumed, all business, once again. "Okay, where was I? Right, Xander and Anya can come over one night- that just leaves one night missing. Maybe I can try to stay by myself and you guys try to come home early?"

Buffy nodded dumbly. "How'd you do that so fast?"

"You're not the only one who had to grow up quick." Dawn shrugged with a small bittersweet smile. She'd watched the others juggle Dawn-sitting and patrolling all summer. She knew the drill.

"I guess not. I love you, Dawnie." Buffy wrapped her in a tight hug.

"I love you, Buffy. Happy New Year. It's gonna be better than the last one."

Buffy nodded. She knew it was true.

Her stomach clenched in some weird kind of fear as she finished her nightly ablutions in the bathroom and walked to the bedroom that was now "theirs". Knowing that he'd already been in there. The water on the floor by the shower, washcloth rung out, faint smell of cigarettes and his perfect skin. The domesticity of it all overwhelmed her.

_No, I'm not overwhelmed. I can do this. I'm a grown up. We have a nightly routine. We take turns in the bathroom. Then we kiss goodnight. Then we sleep. No, wait, I missed the part where we have the most intense orgasms on earth and I wake my innocent- well, semi-innocent, little sister up with my sex noises. I'm going to die._

Buffy pushed open the bedroom door just wide enough to slip in. That'd be another thing. What if Spike was lying around all nude and statue like when Dawn passed by and she was opening the door? Scarred for life. They would have to watch that. As in make sure it didn't happen, not watch as in- _oh, I can't even think anymore._

"Shhh." Spike's hand pressed softly over her mouth and his hand was with hers on the doorknob. He'd been waiting behind it. "Shhh." He repeated.

"Spike? Why the secret agent deal?"

"I know what you're worried bout." His lips were against her ear. "You always were worried about this." He breathed in that low, dark rasp that made her turn to jelly. He apparently could smell that sweetness flooding her because he stopped speaking, flaring his nostrils for one long, intense inhale against her neck. "You've always worried we couldn't be quiet."

"I've heard us." She murmured against his fingertips, turning to face him.

"I'm going to prove to you that we can be better than quiet. We can be _silent_."

"No, we really can't." She was already having trouble keeping the moan from her voice.

"It's a challenge. If I can make it through both of our finishes without a sound-" His dark eyes flooded hers, "I win. You have to admit that I beat you at somethin' in the bedroom."

"And if we're both silent throughout?"

"We declare each other equals."

"And if neither of us can keep quiet?" He smiled to let her know that he also thought this was the most likely possibility.

"Then we practice every night until we get it right."

"Sometimes I want to make noise though." She confessed, a wanton flush creeping up her skin. She felt hot blood prickling her chest and throat.

"Mm," he stifled a noise of longing, "that's why we go back to bed after Dawn goes off to school." He whispered. "Take me on?"

"I'm gonna win." She whispered playfully and dropped to her knees.

Spike was already undressed and already hard. Her mouth slid onto him with wicked precision, her tongue deliberately aiming for "happy spots", the places that made him moan. He bit his lip, and pushed her away. She almost whimpered but stopped herself. He pulled her gently over to the bed. Buffy smiled and pointed at what he'd done. He'd lit one candle, enough so that they could see each other if they mouthed words or gestured in their silence, and he'd taken a spare quilt and folded it between the headboard and the wall.

She tried to kneel again and he caught her shirt hem as she went to her knees, tugging it over her head and snapping her bra off as well, harder than he intended. "Sorry, Pet." He mouthed.

"You'll pay." She mouthed back. She used every trick she knew he liked. She wrapped her hands around him as she pumped him in and out of her mouth, alternating with licks and nibbles, scraping her teeth lightly over his crown. And she never took her eyes off of his.

She's gonna undo me. 'Cause I'm makin' love to my beautiful Buffy in our home. In our room, in our bed. A bed no one else has ever made love in. A bed we claimed as ours. And she's lookin' at me with those eyes that scream "I love you and I want you to let me hear you love me, too"... He bit his tongue sharply and inhaled with a painful wince, fighting for control. He stood, and hoisted her up. "Minx." He mouthed, before he kissed her.

He's gonna win this, Buffy thought as his hands palmed her breasts and tweaked her hardened nipples, holding one until she squirmed as his other hand pushed her pants down. As soon as he- she found herself flat on her back, and tensed, waiting for him to take her soft wetness with his mouth, push her to a quick hard orgasm where she'd have to cry out. But he didn't.

She's not the only one who can be unpredictable, Spike smirked. He landed softly on top of her, holding himself above her and looking happily, contentedly into her eyes. "I love you." His lips formed the silent words. He softly kissed her cheeks, nose, eyelids, and lips, then headed south, making circling detours at her sweet breasts and across her ribs, now filling out.

She gasped loudly when his tongue pierced between her folds, hitting the hollow right under her clit on the first stroke._ Shoot_, she frowned.

"I'm sorry. That doesn't count, I meant to be a bit lower." Spike offered quickly.

"Spike? Can we whisper instead? Whoever gets louder than a whisper loses?"

"Fair enough." He was relieved. "We'll try the silent game sometime... next year, maybe."

"A whole year?"

"I've got plenty of things left to tell you." He purred and lapped her slickness like a spoiled cat. "Like how soft you feel. How good you taste." She quivered when two fingers pushed steadily inside her and she twitched hard on them. "How tight you are and how amazing your sweet, pink muscles are. Do it again." He teased his tongue around her bead and folded his finger tips up inside her. With a gasp, she involuntarily obeyed, wrapping her walls around his slender digits.

"I'd rather do this on your cock instead of your fingers." She invited in a low, throaty purr.

"Dammit, Luv, when you talk like that-"

"I want your thick, cold cock in my tight, hot pussy because it's like a force of nature, a thunderstorm, hot front meeting cold front, and there's always electricity?" She sat up saucily and pulled his wet chin from between her thighs.

"Who the buggerin' fuck are you an' where's my girl?" Spike demanded in a strangled hiss.

"What? This is how I talk when we're at home, alone, in our bed." She teased, pleased with her own daring, the suggestive way she let her mind wander. She was free. She had no one left to hide from, not even herself.

"Oh, God." He groaned softly, still in whisper range, and let her strong calves push his waist down, sinking his pre-cum slick member into her own slippery channel.

"I love you. Thanks for waiting for me." She whispered. "Even when I tried to get you to leave."

"Never gonna leave you. Love you too much." He bent his head and closed his eyes, concentrating on the feel of her, the scent and heat and her eyes emblazoned in his mind. "Pinch me." He demanded suddenly.

"Why?" Buffy obligingly tweaked his nipple and he let out a grunt of pleasure and grinned a satisfied smile.

"I'm so afraid I'm gonna wake up." He confessed.

"You will, Honey." Her eyes became dewy and she pulled him on top of her, wanting to whisper against his lips, look into the blue black of his aroused eyes. "You'll wake up every morning, next to me."

"That's my New Year's resolution." Spike smiled and mentally began thinking of all the other dozens of wonderful promises he wanted to make and keep with the woman he loved.


	2. Chapter 2

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives._

_There is smut here! Warning!_

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper and Good for the Soul _

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part II

Things fell into a routine- not the most steady one, but it was as good and reliable as a family consisting of a vampire, a slayer, and a teenager with an odd extended family could make it.

Spike was the after school care. Dawn came home, and it was too early for him to go out anyway, so they worked together on making dinner and doing homework. This had three benefits. One, Dawn felt like she had special time with Spike, that she wasn't losing him to Buffy so her jealousy didn't rear its ugly head. Two, Dawn's grades stayed high and Spike got to spout off and argue about things with someone who he could go at it hammer and tongs with, and both of them would still end up smiling. Three, Spike was a way better cook than Buffy, and even though no one said anything, nights when Spike cooked were way more likely to attract dinner guests than on the weekends when Buffy cooked.

As for the evenings, the guest bedroom got set up, and a rotation of Dawn-sitters flowed through on four nights a week, sometimes crashing over night, sometimes not. Half the time the expected "sitter" was not the one who showed up, but someone was always there, their unique team structure always allowing for last minute calls to swap duties or cover for a couple hours until some personal issue could be dealt with. Because Buffy and Spike were "extremely motivated" to get home and onto more pleasurable pursuits, their patrols were quick and efficient. They usually got home early enough for the slated Dawn-sitters to return to their own homes.

In terms of the house no longer being just Buffy and Dawn's, but also Spike's, his stuff was finally moved in, what little he wanted to bring. He and Buffy took the Jeep with them before patrol one night, and stopped the Jeep along the winding cemetery path.

"Spike, are you sure you don't want to bring your mini fridge? The microwave?" Buffy asked apprehensively.

"Nope." Spike pushed into the dark mausoleum with two cardboard boxes.

"But if - well- those might be hard to replace." Buffy fumbled with her own boxes.

He looked at her in the dark, flicking his lighter to illuminate a series of candles in a wall bracket. "And why would I need to replace them?"

"Um. I- I don't know." Buffy strode away and started packing the few books next to the recliner into a box. Spike's fingers suddenly appeared on her arm and she gasped.

"Do you want me to keep this place ready? Should I be plannin' to come back here?" He asked in a soft, emotionless voice.

"No!" She cried, dropping the box. "No, no that was never what I meant."

His tone was still soft, but pointed. "But you wanted me to hold on to them. In case you mess up. And I have to leave an' start over again?"

"I don't want you not to have things you need." She chewed her lip. But that was exactly the reason. She wanted to protect him, just a little.

"Then these definitely don't need to come." He said easily, walking off, whistling jauntily. He caught her open mouthed stare and smirked. "Oh, c'mon, Buffy. You think I'm gonna leave? Silly Slayer. You think you're gonna mess up? Impossible, Luv. I trust you."

He trusts me. Buffy's heart gave a happy skip. It meant a lot to have her boyfriend show such confidence in her, when confidence in her abilities to be a good partner had so often been an area of self-doubt. "I love you!" She threw her arms around him.

In five minutes the kissing had escalated to steamy. "We should say goodbye to the old place, hmm? Give the bed a fond farewell?" He asked, hands already unbuttoning her shirt.

"Mmhmmm." Buffy was first down the ladder and sprawled onto the bed before he could even get his foot on the top rung.

Dawn and Willow were waiting at the Summers' house when the Jeep pulled up. "Okay, the moving cavalry is here! How many trips do you think you guys are going to need to make?" Dawn cried, coming out of the garage, which was now home to Spike's bike but still wasn't cleaned out enough to fit the Jeep.

"Jus' one, Niblet." Spike grinned and pushed a box into her arms. Dawn peered inside it.

"Candles?" Dozens of them. She gave him a stupefied look. "We have lamps here, Goofball."

"Handy anyway." He ignored her jibe. Buffy carried another box filled with books and some odds and ends, jewelry, more candles littering the top.

"Give me something to carry!" Willow urged, and Spike motioned her to the back of the car. Two scarred wooden chests, battered and covered in drips of candle wax sat in the trunk.

"You take an end, an' I'll take the other." Spike grunted. They carried the chest that was filled with his clothes and some other personal items, like his hair gel and bleach. Buffy passed them on the way out. "Hang on a mo' , Luv and I'll help you with the last one."

Buffy picked up the heavy chest filled with weapons easily. "I think I got it." She smiled.

Willow watched Spike's face transform into a love struck, mellow expression. "She's pretty amazing, huh?" She teased him.

"Yeah..." The vampire shook himself back to reality. "I'll take the chest from here, Red. I'm gonna put this in our room, okay, Buffy?"

"That's where it belongs." She smiled and set the other piece of furniture down with a thump.

"Wasn't there anything else?" Dawn demanded, unpacking the army of assorted candles.

"Nothing that needs to come here." Buffy smiled, glowing inside. Everything he needed was here, and everything that wasn't really theirs was left behind. The bed, the sheets, the chair, the rugs and television- he left them without a qualm. "My old life.", he'd said.

"We can't just leave it hanging around there, can we? All that stuff in a crypt?" Dawn shook her head.

"I had a thought about that." Spike came back down the stairs. Buffy stared at him with a soppy smile. _She really loves me back, he thought. You only watch people stomp down the steps like they're a god if you're in love. _"I have a friend, nice guy, friendly to humans, who I'd let take it over for me. On the condition he lets the Scoobies use it for a safe house if we ever get caught in a jam in Restfield."

"Clem?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah, that's the guy. And I thought about charging a kitten a week. Is that shady?" He asked Dawn. Buffy and Willow just stared.

"You're the big bad, Dude. Make it two."

"Nah, I don't wanna be greedy with him. He keeps makin' sure I get dealt in at Willy's, even if I dusted someone on the way in."

"Oh, you know that is so not why you keep getting dealt in." Dawn shook her head and and walked off, Spike following her, arguing.

"Well...things are never boring here." Willow giggled finally.

"Please! This is so close to boring. I'm loving every minute of it, and I'm actively praying that soon things will take a real nosedive into completely comatose." Buffy laughed.

"Well, good luck with getting to the extreme level of boredom. It's been nice this year. It seems like after you locked up Warren and his little helpers, things settled down."

"There've been a couple things, but no major badasses. Just life crap."

"Not life crap. Good stuff. You and Spike."

"You think Spike and I qualify as the 'good stuff'?" Buffy asked, blushing slightly. She had everyone's support, at varying degrees, but it just seemed so weird to hear them talk about it openly. So wonderfully weird.

"You and Spike are one hundred percent good together. _He's_ not necessarily good." Willow watched Spike light up a cigarette and yank a book out of Dawn's hands, putting it behind his back. Willow caught a look at the title, something old and in French, and so not something for little girls. She blushed deeper, and considered asking Spike to lend it to her and Tara. "But good for you? He's the best."

"Agreed." Buffy snuck up behind Spike and jerked the book away. "What's this?"

"Tell you later." Spike mumbled, blushing. Dawn was also looking embarrassed.

"What?"Buffy demanded.

"Trust me. You don't wanna know." Dawn took Willow's arm. "I'm at Willow's tonight, right?"

"Is it Friday?"

"Yes, Luv. Remember? You didn't have to work. And you cooked."

"That's right." Buffy shook her head at her lack of organization. "Sorry, scatter brained Buffy."

"No biggie. My bag is on the couch."

"And we have_ Dirty Dancing_ and Rocky Road waiting for our Girls' Night In." Willow beamed.

"You walked?" Spike shook his head. "It's dark early these days."

"It's six blocks in a residential -" Willow trailed off at his look. "Right. Um. I can teleport us?"

"How about you get your behinds in the Jeep instead?" Buffy crossed her arms.

"I'll run them, Luv, you don't have to come."

"But I want to." Buffy took his hand possessively. A deep, rumbling noise suddenly filled the room, and it intensified when Buffy kissed Spike's cheek.

"Let's go." Spike muttered gruffly and stalked out the door, Buffy in tow.

Willow turned to Dawn and tried not to giggle too loudly. "Vampires _purr_?"

"I think it's so adorable. But only Buffy can make him do it." She pouted. "Maybe if I scratched him behind the ears in just the right spot?" She and Willow exchanged a look and laughter overwhelmed them.

After dropping Willow and Dawn off, Spike took them home long enough to get weaponry for patrol and then they left, arms around each other.

"Been bloody quiet lately." Spike muttered as they walked in the cool January air.

"Oh, don't worry. My birthday is coming up." Buffy smiled bitterly.

"Pardon, Luv?"

"My birthday. Equals beyond badness. Plan for something just shy of an apocalypse in terms of ick factor." Buffy turned her head to commiserate with her boyfriend, only to find him with a thoughtful look on his face. A look that wasn't lusting after demon killing or even worried about what the bad things might be this year. It was a scheming, planning look that Buffy worried about. "I don't know why I told you about my birthday, I shouldn't have told you. I didn't tell you, got it?" She gave him a "don't you dare argue with me" look. Which made him raise his eyebrows slowly, a "yeah, right" look answering hers.

"Chocolate cake?" He asked simply.

"No!"

"How old are you then, Pet? Is it twenty one this year?" Silence. "Well, we could do a pub crawl but I don't think you'd like that..."

"Spike, if you -"

"I could make a romantic dinner at home, send Niblet to the Wiccas' for the night, make you a great big gooey chocolate thing for dessert, and then lick champagne off of you until you scream." His voice gooey and chocolate-y itself.

"Um. Yeah. Uh." Buffy's brain had given control over to the sensitive flesh between her legs. "That sounds like it wouldn't be the usual terror that is my birthday."

"Of course, your mates'll wanna do somethin' with you first." He wrapped both arms around her, striding behind her now, letting her soft cheeks feel the hard bulge in his trousers. "But then...just you an' me, an' hot fudge makes three?"

"Okay." She agreed breathlessly.

Spike let go of her with a purely evil smirk. Buffy's mouth popped open and he barely ducked a blow. "You- you peroxide con man!" She shrieked, but she wasn't really mad, just feeling fooled at how easily she'd been led.

"Why, Slayer, whatever do you mean?" He asked in injured innocence.

"That- that was the bait and switch. Get my brain all soft and squishy and slip in a party!"

"Mm, I'm a bad, bad man. Throwin' my beautiful girl a party with our friends an' then ravishin' her. Which therefore isn't a bait an' switch. It's a 'have your cake an' eat it, too' deal." He purred, tongue going behind his teeth as his sinister smirk softened. "I'll make it a good birthday, Buffy."

"You're lucky I trust you, Buster." She gave in with a smile.

"I know it." Spike pushed open the creaky gates of one of Sunnydale's cemeteries and then asked, "Just how soon is soon?"

"My birthday? Three days."

"Bloody hell." He glared. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't Dawn tell me?"

"Because Buffy birthdays are to be avoided at all costs." She explained patiently. "Just because you're slow on the uptake doesn't mean everyone else is."

"I'm not slow. I'm...determined." He said smugly. A sound caught their ears and they dropped the conversation for a minute. "Some action. But this birthday bash _is _happenin', Slayer." She gave in with a sigh and they moved towards the noises.

"Oh, wow! The rumors are true!" Three big demons with curling horns and cracking, sulfur smelling skin appeared from behind a groundskeeper's shed in the cemetery. "It's the Slayer and William the Bloody- Slayer of Slayers!."

"Oh, Giles is gonna kill me. I'm supposed to know what those are." Buffy bit her lip, completely unfazed by their sudden appearance.

"They're-" Spike was about to supply the answer.

"No! Don't tell me, don't tell me, he's gonna test me on my demon lore on Tuesday!"

"You'd think they'd be more upset about this." One of the demons said, closing in and taking a swing.

"Are you a K'locth demon?" Buffy asked her assailant.

"No!" The demon seemed offended. Buffy chose that moment to leap forward, knocking it down and plunging a short curved dagger into its throat.

The other two demons were taunting Spike as they traded blows. "Wait until everyone at Willy's hears."

"Oh, for God's sake, everyone at Willy's _knows_." Spike snapped a horn off of one and it howled with pain.

"Are you a human crossbreed?" Buffy was still on her quest to identify, and she joined Spike with the remaining two.

"That's just disgusting! As if we would ever mingle with a filthy human!" The demon who retained both horns turned to fight Buffy, leaving Spike to face the wounded demon who had become much more vicious in his pain.

"That's uncalled for!" Buffy kicked it hard.

"Culturally insensitive! Bigots." Spike shouted, right before his opponent managed to shove him into a granite tombstone with enough force to shatter it. "Alright. Now I'm mad. I was just gonna kill you, now I wanna make it hurt." He growled.

"You are weak from mixing your demon self with your human self, and then even furthering your own pollution by seeking out a full human to breed with! You should hide in shame! When the others find out about your fornication-" The beast tightened his hands around Spike's throat.

"Hey! Ease up on the race superiority kick!" Buffy was pinned on the ground under the other demon, but in the process of throwing him off. "And stop threatening to tell everyone about us. We don't care who knows. We're 'out of the closet', okay?" With a mighty heave, she toppled her opponent and slammed a dagger into his chest. "Last chance. Are you a fire dwelling or earth dwelling demon?" The demon, dying, didn't answer.

"She's persistent, isn't she?" Spike wheezed, before his boots swung up together and hit the demon square in the crotch. With a howl, he was released. "Normally, I wouldn't do that to a bloke, enemy or no. But you made all those ugly little comments an' it pissed me off." He grabbed the other horn and used it to twist the head savagely, hearing the thick bones break. He dropped the body with a sickened scowl an turned to Buffy. "Stupid fascist wannabes." He spat.

Buffy smiled up at him, dirty and with grass in her hair, but smiling. "You're sexy when you fight for a cause."

"Well- so are you." He looked pleased, and helped her up. They surveyed the three bodies. "At least they might have helped us out with their disposal."

"Huh?" Buffy asked, puzzled.

"Come with me." He led her to the area where they'd first heard the noises. A couple graves were half way dug up.

"Oh, eww." Buffy was relieved they hadn't gotten to the coffins yet, but it still made her feel sick.

"Do you know what kind of demons they were yet?"

"Yeah. Grave digger, bone eater. I just can't remember the name."

"Sepulchrum Fossura." Spike smiled, and went to retrieve one corpse.

"We can't pt them in these people's graves! It's- it's wrong!"

"I think it's very fitting actually." Spike disagreed. "All that claptrap about humans are inferior, demons are pure, lah de dah." He dropped the one horned demon in unceremoniously. "He's gonna be buried in a human cemetery, and spend a whole lotta time with what he claimed to hate. Poetic justice."

"Irony?"

"Yeah, you could say that." He grinned. Buffy left his side and in a moment returned, dragging another body.

"I like irony." She smirked, and dropped the demon in he grave he had come to rob.

The rest of the patrol was fairly quiet, a couple vamps by the Bronze, and one very confused looking fledge wandering aimlessly in an alley. "Sires these days. Don't know what the hell they're doin'." Spike dusted him with an apologetic shake of his head. "You want a drink, Pet?"

"No, I'm a mess." Buffy sighed, turning away from the club.

"People'll just think we had a little outdoor frolic." He urged.

"Yeah, but I'd rather people think that when you and I actually _have_ been frolicking, not you, me, and three ugly faced demons."

Spike nodded and took her bruised and bloody-knuckled hand in his. "I heard what you told them. 'Bout you an' me."

Buffy shrugged, examining his own torn hand. _Those things had really rough skin. Demons probably didn't think loofahs and a little Oil of O'Lay were evil enough to use. _"You said- everyone at Willy's knows?"

"Not like I advertise it, Luv." He assured her quickly. "Just don't hide it anymore. No one messes with me like they used to. They found out I didn't stop fightin' on the good guy team jus' cause I got beaten up for it."

"They beat you up for that?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah. Makes sense. You go into a bar full of demons and vamps and you leave the bar and you kill the demons and vamps. But only the ones who make trouble. There's a few demons who'd never hurt anyone. Like Clem. I mean, he shouldn't be left alone with your favorite pets, but show him a human and aside from makin' comments about how ugly they are, he's harmless." Spike realized he was rambling. "So yeah. Not everyone likes me."

"But you're not ashamed of being with the Slayer anymore." She summed up, a soft glow in her eyes.

"I can't be. Love doesn't let shame in." He said simply.

"Love doesn't let shame in." Buffy repeated. "I love you."

"Glad to hear it." Spike chuckled. "Figured that when you said we were 'out of the closet'."

"Well, I'm not going around shouting that my boyfriend is a vampire, but only because people would try to lock me in the loony bin. With people in the know- well- you're right. I'm not shy bout loving you." And to prove it, she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk they were on, not caring if there were people watching or not, and kissed him until she couldn't breathe.

"Home?" Spike panted.

"Home!" She agreed eagerly.

"Race you?"

"Oh God, yes, the faster the better." She needed to get some of her energy out or it would burst her, she'd beg him to take her right there, on the first hip level surface they came to. "Ready set-" He was gone before she could say go. "That's not fair!"

"You didn't say fair! You said faster was better." He laughingly called over his shoulder, and ran.

Buffy watched him, the black leather billowing in the wind, watching him leap on occasion, super strength and vampire perks making him spring and move like a jungle cat. And she wanted that tiger inside her. She put her head down and let go of Buffy, and was just pure Slayer. Then she fairly flew, feet only skimming the ground.

"I win." Buffy gasped when she cleared the front porch stairs a split second ahead of Spike.

"I don't think so." Spike snarled, grabbing her hard and holding her to him. "You got here first- but I got _you_." He held her forcefully, tighter than he usually did, feeling her writhe.

He was always so careful not to hurt her. In truth, he couldn't hurt her, the chip prevented it, not that he'd ever taken a swing at her since she'd been resurrected. But Buffy liked the way his hands were just a little more aggressive than usual. "Am I holdin' you too tight, Baby?" He murmured in her ear as she locked the door and kicked off her shoes.

"No. Oh, no." She panted pleasurably.

Spike swallowed. He always watched himself, controlled himself with her. She was broken inside and he wanted to heal her. He had always had to prove he loved her, prove he wasn't bad, wasn't acting. "You know I love you? You know who I am now, don't you, Buffy?"

She nodded, freeing herself long enough to grab him by the lapels and kiss him hard, biting at his lips, dragging him forward, up the stairs. "You're Spike. You love me."

He nodded against her head, coat shed to the floor, followed by boots, and then belt, then shirt, until two naked figures crashed backwards into the bathroom to wash the dirt, blood, and grass off of their skin. "That's right. I'm Spike. I'm in love with you. I'd never, ever hurt you."

"I know. I know that." She gasped when he pushed her into the shower, even though the water wasn't warmed up yet. Icy jets made her shiver until she felt his hands cleaning her off, felt and heard the low rumbling in his chest and throat._ I wanted the tiger. I think I'm about to get it._

He was almost scared. No, he _was_ scared. He'd worked so hard to prove himself and now he was in the best place imaginable, accepted into her life, her home, her bed. And it was theirs now. Their life, their home, their bed. He never gave into the urge to vamp when they peaked together, never asked to bite her in a sexual way, never brought the demon out unless he really had no control. Even when fighting, he rarely slid into game face. Because this whole relationship had been about seeing his humanity, his ability to love, and helping her get her humanness and ability to love back and repaired after it had been shattered.

Buffy felt shudders coursing over him and she expected to get thrown to the floor or up against the wall and ravished momentarily. But it didn't happen. _He wants it so bad, he's shaking._ "Spike?"

"Yeah?" He rasped, scrubbing at them both.

"You- I want you." She reassured, wanting him to give in.

"Want you. So bad." And he was barely keeping the demon in. He wasn't hungry, he wasn't looking for violence. He was just finding it hard to deny himself after a fight and a kill, then running, all the while smelling her getting hotter and wetter, listening to adrenaline, pheromones triggering his human counterparts, her slayer skills a siren call to his demon side. "More than you know, Pet."

"Then take me." She urged.

"Sometimes I worry that you'll change your mind about me." He breathed. "Not about us. About- me. What I am."

"A vampire?" She scrubbed shampoo in to her hair vigorously, wanting to be out of here and in bed. She dropped a squirt of shampoo onto his sleek wet hair as well and he mimicked her motions.

"A demon. Half of me."

"I love of all of you." She said easily.

Well, she'd given him the glove, whether she knew it or not. He wouldn't bring it forth on purpose, but if he wanted to come out tonight- he wasn't going to hold him in. He just hoped he wouldn't have a disgusted lover to comfort through the night, instead of the woman who claimed to love and accept all of him. "I love of all of you, too." He whispered.

"I love Fridays." Spike skidded from the bathroom to their bedroom, following Buffy's lead. They slammed the door after them, and rolled into bed, towels flying off, not bothering to get under the covers.

"You just like to make noise."

"No, I like to make _you _make noise." He countered, nipping her neck. "You- do you remember what I said- about how I wanted you to want me after fighting?"

"Your not so secret, not so impossible fantasy?" She giggled.

"It's coming true." He scooped her up against his chest and held her, listening to her heart race. "You really do. It's not just the fight. It's me." He sighed wonderingly.

"It's only ever happened with you." She reminded him. "Something about the way you move when you're fighting- makes me want to see what other moves you've got." She rolled them over and looked into his sparkling blue eyes. "You can really smell it? Hear it?"

"Arousal? Yeah, Pet. I can hear it, smell it, see it." He slid a finger between her lips and brought it up, clear and sticky. "Feel it." He slid the finger between his pale lips and licked, not taking his burning gaze from hers. "Taste it."

"I love that about you." She admitted, rocking back, letting him get between her legs as she twisted, putting her own head over his swollen hardness. "You're the only one who ever- who was ever that into me. Wants me on so many levels."

"You're my heart's desire, remember that." He buried his face in the sweet silkiness between her thighs and forgot everything else. Let himself get wrapped in a haze of heat and warm, flowing juices. The only other sensation was the steady pulsing lips on his cock and her hands digging into his thighs, harder, harder, harder until she snagged her teeth on his crown and her nails broke his pearly skin when she cried out in her orgasm.

His groan was deeper, animalistic. Buffy lay trembling on top of him, shaking and spasming because he gave her a blizzard of orgasms, three or four in quick succession, like a string of demolition explosions. She dimly was aware of the hardness in front of her and she kissed it lazily, and then noticed the small indents of broken skin on his thighs. She murmured an apology and licked and kissed at the wounds she had carelessly given him.

Oh bloody hell, he gasped inside. _She's licking me. Licking the cuts. Oh God, she doesn't know, doesn't know that's part of what we do, part of the bestial nature_. "Come here." His voice smoldered and he rolled, and then turned, pinning her with her head at the foot of the bed, their feet dangling on the pillows.

"I'm sorry I hurt your legs." She whimpered in pleasure as she felt him press against her still tingling sex.

"Luv, it doesn't hurt. Nothin' you could ever do to me will hurt me." He swore.

"But I don't want to be rough." She whispered.

"Not rough. Aggressive. Passionate. Loving, always loving." He soothed. "You're strong. When was the last time you had a lover who could match you, accept whatever you have to give?"

"Only you." She smiled, kissing his jawline.

"So just be who you are. 'Cause I love it." He grinned wickedly and gripped her hips, forcing her soaked sheath to engulf him in one fast, steady slide.

She let go, completely, safe and loved, never judged by Spike. Hips crashed together, and fingers clenched. She howled and she demanded. More of him, more inside, until she was on her hands and knees, slamming back into him as hard as he could drive himself home into her. "So good!" She half sobbed as she came again.

"Am I hurtin' you?" He turned her over, dying to see her face.

"No, no, you never would." She was breathless, shaking her head as her damp curls sprawled around her face. "Don't ever ask me that again. I'll just tell you. I trust you." She clasped the back of his neck and then his rippling shoulders, watching the borrowed heat turn his white skin to a darker cream. "Cum for me." She hissed suddenly.

"No. Want- one more with you." He denied himself the pleasure in exchange for hers, to watch her face, watch her body contort, and also, selfishly, to feel her tiniest, most delicate muscles pump him and caress him like molten velvet. But holding off has its price.

Buffy heard the groan turn into a growl. The reverberating kind, the kind that couldn't be made by a human. Her eyes widened and her mouth popped in silent exclamation as Spike's beautiful human features were replaced by sinister demonic ones.

He held still above her. Watching her, and feeling himself drown in her eyes, the shock, the confusion. "Buffy?" He tilted his head in a silent plea for her to understand.

"Are you okay?" She said in a surprised voice, no warmth behind it, just bland shock.

"Yes." He whispered. He didn't force the demon down, although his self-preservation instincts told him the night would go far more smoothly if he did.

"Why?" Her voice shook slightly. Angel had told her about this. Angel had pulled back from kissing her, in his game face. It meant he couldn't control himself, it meant he was a danger to her, he had to be away, he couldn't take her temptation. Maybe Spike couldn't either. Maybe the chip prevented him from acting on it, but maybe the desire was there. Maybe she had brought out the demon side by denying his human side for so long. "Is it something I did?"

"No. It's just-" Spike swallowed. "This side loves you, too. And he wants to please you, be pleased by you. I thought- maybe-"

She went limp with relief. "I never- with this side of you before."

"I know. But I thought since we've gotten over so many differences, we could try this? I can put it away, if it bothers you." His heart was always still, but now he felt the stillness, felt like his world was waiting for her answer. To see whether she really meant what she said. That she loved all of him.

"Put it away." She nodded. He did, and she kissed his lips. She saw the sadness in his eyes, but she wasn't sad herself. I'm about to make him happy, she thought with a little flutter of trepidation. "Now, let it out." She whispered, lips still close to his.

He laughed hoarsely and collapsed his forehead to hers. "Scared me."

"I just wanted to tell you myself. So you'd know. It was something I wanted, not just putting up with." She stroked his currently smooth brow. " I- I might not be good at this." She warned.

"It's only me. Just- a -bit more fierce. But never hurtful." He reassured. He moved inside her experimentally, and felt her move with him, just as cautiously. He felt her respond and watched her lick her lips, eyes glowing at him. She was seducing him, and it made him go completely weak, completely lose any reservations. The demon's face split the surface with a snarl. "Been dreamin' about this for weeks." He hissed.

"Oh." She nodded, gulping. "Well... here we are."

"Don't be nervous. It's really me, Buffy. Just in my lumpies." He grinned and even though it was a far more predatory grin, she recognized the warmth behind it and smiled back.

"Angel- Angel told me it was too dangerous for the demon to be out when we were- close." She confessed. "And I know you don't like to talk about him, and I don't either, but it- it worried me." She trailed off helplessly.

"Baby, Angel's very different from me. He's Jekyll an' bloody Hyde. Soul or no soul makes a big difference to him. Me? I'm jus' myself. So my face doesn't really matter. Except that things feel jus' a little bit more raw an' wild in this mask. Still me inside."

"Kiss me?" She asked.

"For hours." He chuckled and lowered his mouth to hers. He let her orchestrate the embrace, hesitant at first, closed mouthed, until she seemed to relax, _feel_ that it was Spike, not just look and let her eyes rule. Then her head began to twist under his, hands spread out across the back of his head to pull him in deeper and deeper, until they were in a frenzy.

"Love you." His voice razed her ear.

"Love you. Yeah- _you_." She held his head close to hers and looked in his eyes. "_All_ of you."

He laughed in relief and bundled her hips up against him, sitting himself up and pulling her spread legs under his arms. This way he was in deep, he could see all of her, and he had his hands fairly free.

Buffy gasped at the sudden change of position and locked her ankles behind his mid back. "Is this where you show me the more fierce, more raw part?" She asked in a voice that was dripping in desire.

"Jus' hold on." He winked, and he took her.

_I told him to take me. God, he's one of those literal people when he wants to be_. Buffy sprawled limply back, at least from the waist up. From the waist down, her whole body was on fire. Not content with pounding her until scalding drips of her juice ran down her cheeks, one hand had set up shop on her mound, the thumb endlessly circling her bead until she gave up feeling overstimulated and just let herself slide into one long orgasm.

That is a well-fucked woman, Spike thought contentedly. A well-pleasured woman, and well-loved. "Happy?" Spike asked in a teasing voice.

Her head rolled languidly forward and a plastered, drunken-looking smile appeared on her face. "Question?"

"Anything you wanna know, Luv."

"Can human you do this to me, too?"

"Yes, But demon me was the one who wanted to show you what a demanding lover I can be me."

"This is demanding? Demanding what? That I cum a bajillion times? Demand away, your wish is so totally my command." She giggled, and reached down, taking his hand.

"You know I'm gonna want that in writing." He warned, giggling himself. "I love you to bits, you know that?"

"Uh-huh." She giggled again. "I love you. In bits. And pieces. But I like you better whole."

_She's so adorable. God, I love her. Can't even make the demon get all bad an' nasty to her, she's got me so softened up. An' that's good. Only want to treat her to good things in life. She deserves that. _"You want to be on top for a bit, Pet?"

"Nope. Just wanna lay here and be ravished. Back to the ravishing, please." She pouted. He laughed happily and the demon melted away. "Hey! Not that I'm not happy to see your gorgeous face- but", she blushed and looked down at their twined hips, "I was hoping I'd get to make him- you know. You said he wanted to be pleased by me. I was gonna do my best to make him 'pleased'." She couldn't believe what she was hinting at. Every slayer in history must be turning over in their graves. _I just asked to give a vampire an orgasm. Not the human side of the vampire. The _vampire_ side of the vampire. Great. I'm officially evil._

"Don't do that." Spike leaned down and caught her chin, wincing in pleasure when he buried himself in her at a different angle. "Don't go inside yourself."

"Am I bad? For wanting to please something evil?" She asked in a scared, small voice.

"Am I bad for having somethin' evil for you to please?" His voice wasn't scared, but it was soft and grave.

"Yeah. I mean, it's not a good thing to have inside you." She stroked the hand holding her face so gently.

"But I have it all the same. What's that mean, then?"

"It means- no one is perfect." She blinked and when her eyes opened, water sparkled on the surface. "But it doesn't matter, because we're in love and because you're the best guy in the whole world for me."

He lost his hold on her, and lost his aggressive sexual position, falling on to her splayed body with a rain of kisses and promises that she'd never, ever regret choosing him. Pounding into her, sweat slick skin making them slide deeper and harder. At last he felt himself losing control and the demon resurfaced with a roar.

She felt the pace pick up just a little when the demon was in control. His hands were holding her more tightly, and his kisses left scrapes on her skin because of the jagged nature of his teeth. But it was still his words in her ear, even if the voice was a little deeper, a little muddier. "Love you, Buffy." She gave up one last wailing climax to him, to his demon who loved her so thoroughly, and took his in exchange. Streams of seed so cold it stung poured inside her, but it only made her convulse again, prolonging her orgasm.

They were too deeply embedded to separate after. She tried and mewled when her muscles burned in protest.

"Shh, now. You're safe. It'll slide out in a moment." He rocked her to his chest, easing her on top in case he was weighing on her and making her uncomfortable. "That won't happen every time." He promised. "Jus' sometimes- I'd like to let that part of myself enjoy you, too."

"Spike? I'm over it. Be whoever you want in here. I know I am." She smiled sweetly at him, stealing a kiss.

Spike let himself drift to sleep, holding her on his chest, still connected. "Love all of you. Slayer an' woman." He murmured. She made a grateful noise into his chest, and her breathing evened out as she fell asleep in his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives._

_Happy fluffy chapter, with a little smut for dessert. _

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Dlillith21, and Good for the Soul _

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part III

Dawn let herself into the house early Saturday morning, silently, and waved to Willow and Tara who were off to walk in the park, bundled in sweat shirts and fleece pants in the watery January sunlight.

She headed to the kitchen first, ears cocked for sounds of wild sex that she really didn't want to hear, but in an odd way reassured her that her sister and the guy she loved as her big brother were still making life work. Nothing. That probably meant they were "shagged out", as Spike would say, and fast asleep.

"You are in so much trouble." A harsh whisper made Dawn yelp and drop a box of cereal.

"Spike! You- that's not good, okay?" Dawn patted her chest. "If I have a heart attack before I'm eighteen, you get the blame."

"Little ol' me, an' not the thousands of ooglie booglies?" His scowl was replaced with a smile.

"Nope. All you. Why am I in trouble? I've been really good." Dawn's teasing expression was replaced by one of nervous longing for approval.

Spike sighed inside himself. Kid had it rough an' she was a pistol. Didn't mean she wasn't desperate for someone to just love her unconditionally. Buffy an' the Bit, had the same flaw, an' he wondered if it was from their torturous lives or because they were literally "cut from the same cloth". "Oh, don't mind me, Niblet, you know I got to swagger a bit. Keep up the act." He stroked her hair with one rough hand before handing her a bowl for her cereal. "You're the best little sister a man could ask for, you got that?"

Dawn glowed, and swallowed down mushy feelings. "Yeah? So then how come I'm in trouble?" She crossed her arms and pouted.

There she is, that's my girl, Spike crossed his own arms. "You didn't remind me it was Buffy's birthday in three days time! It's bloody ridiculous, this is our first birthday as a couple, an' I've got nothin' ready!" He hissed.

"Um. See there's kind of this birthday curse thing-"

"Oh, sod the curse! She's havin' a party, an' then I'm- well, then she's havin' another private party after." He concluded hastily, not looking at Dawn. She was a big girl and they talked very openly about a lot of things. But this one still made him get all twitchy.

"You can say 'sod the curse' all you want, but bad stuff is still gonna happen." Dawn sighed.

"What the hell kind of attitude is that? I need my Dawn, an' instead I get this weak, prissy, piece of shit pessimist." Spike slammed his hand down on the counter and knocked over the utensil jar full of spatulas and ladles.

"You- you big- pillock!" Dawn gasped.

"You can't pull off the Brit speak, Niblet, don't even try." He laughed scornfully.

"God, you are so frustrating!" Dawn squeaked.

"Shhh. your sis is asleep, but not for long the way we're goin'. This is our time to plan. You in or out?" Spike tugged her farther into the kitchen, looking nervously at the ceiling, listening to see if Buffy woke up.

"Of course I'm in. We specialize in impossibilities around here. Let's make this a really great birthday." Dawn leaned her head on his shoulder, giving in. She still had to throw in a parting shot. "When it all blows up in our faces, can I say I told you so?"

"Yeah, if I can do the same when it _doesn't_ blow up." Spike jeered.

"Deal. First things first- presents."

"Right. Money. I'll sit in at one of the bars at the wharf as soon as it gets dark enough. Then you an' me can go to the mall."

"How do you propose getting to the mall without Buffy? The mall is like some sort of homing beacon for her. Right now, in her sleep, she probably _senses_ the word mall being spoken and she's starting to drool."

"Get Giles to get her to train."

"I'll call Giles. He'll have to be my event buddy anyway. He didn't like any of the girls I tried to fix him up with." Dawn nodded, assuming responsibility for that part.

"Decoratin' is easy, I'll do it on Monday when she's on campus."

"I bet Willow and Tara would bake the cake. Tara is like, the _goddess_ of baking."

"I was gonna bake." Spike said sullenly.

"Spike- have you ever made a birthday cake before?"

"No. Can't be that hard."

"Not if you buy a mix in a box, I guess." Dawn conceded.

"Oh, bugger that! I'm makin' a proper one. With layers of fudge an' all sorts of chocolate, icin' hearts an' pink sugar things- what?" He broke off at a noise from Dawn.

Dawn was staring at him wide eyed and troubled looking. "Well, I found out what this year's birthday disaster is going to be." She sighed.

"That's not nice, Niblet."

"But it's probably true, Spike."

"Fine. I'll ask Tara, an' you get Giles to run interference. Here, pull up some breakfast an' I'll heat up some blood an' we can figure out what to buy her."

"This feels very strange." Anya said on Saturday afternoon.

"A Scooby meeting without Buffy- is just- _wrong_." Willow agreed.

"Nonetheless, we're all called here." Giles sat down at the table in the back of the Magic Box. "Let the meeting commence. Dawn?"

"Oh. I just made the phone call. Spike called the meeting." Dawn kicked his shin under the table.

"_Spike_ called a Scooby meeting? The world is gonna end on a weekend. That sucks." Xander muttered.

"Can he do that?" Willow murmured.

"I suppose- he is sort of 'one of us'." Giles suppressed a shudder. "Yet more words I thought I would never say."

"Look, Buffy's working on a paper for school an' we said we were running' to get the groceries, so we don't have all day." Spike stepped up. _I'm 'one of them'. Bloody am not. I will never be a 'scooby'. I'm the Slayer's partner. Giles is the Watcher. We have a little age an' maturity on our side. Still, feels damn good to just be able to do this with only a minimum of snarking._ "Buffy's birthday is on Monday. An' yes- I heard about the bleedin' 'curse', an' I say we go ahead anyway. But- I kinda- might need a bit of help for a few things." He looked at the table top. He hated asking for help. Ever. But especially from these guys. When he looked up, he was openly baffled.

Every head was nodding, and people were leaning forward. Willow and Dawn were pulling paper and pens out of their bags.

"Of course we'll help you." Tara laughed in her sweet alto voice, taking in his wide eyed expression.

"Yeah, anything for Buffster." Xander spread his hands in a gesture of understanding.

"No." Anya corrected. "I mean, yes, we'd do things for Buffy. But we're also doing this because it's Spike. He's one of us. We help each other." Her concrete tone dared people to argue, and no one did.

"Right, then." Spike became brisk. "Niblet an' me got some ideas, but we figured it'd be easy to get all of us together to plan rather then make a bloody long list of calls."

"Quite." Giles nodded, a faint smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. None of Buffy's boyfriends had ever actually been thoughtful enough to organize something for her, making it a family affair as it were, as well as a romantic gesture. "We're all ears. Just tell us how to help."

"Why are you swapping patrols?" Buffy pouted at Spike as he shrugged into his coat that Saturday evening.

"You an' Bit should spend some sister time tonight. An' I didn't swap, I jus' said I'd take an extra. Consider it a thank you- from both halves of myself- for bein' so loving and showin' a bloke how welcome he is in your arms." Spike kissed her protests and blushes away.

"Well... I guess it'd be nice to have some Dawn time. She really likes you being here, you know." Buffy reminded him.

"I really like bein' here myself." He cupped her cheek.

"Be careful tonight. Come home to me." She whispered.

"Always." He promised.

Once out of sight of the house, Spike broke into a high speed run._ So much to do tonight, not even funny. Patrol, of course, an' then Dockside for a cash game, an' then Willy's for a blood game, an' gotta see Clem an' tell him about the crypt... Christ, what a night._

"Pay up." Spike put down his cards.

"I don't know how you do it." The scruffy biker grumbled.

_Can hear your blood go into high gear when you get anything good, you wankers,_ Spike thought scornfully. Externally, he smiled toothily and replied, "I jus' use my skills, mates. See you later this week?"

"Not if I see you first." One of the regulars mumbled.

"What was that?" Spike asked.

"Uh... night?"

"Night." Spike took the bills and pressed them into his wallet. A hundred, hundred twenty, hundred thirty. That was good for just a few hands, not much for the whole household, but he could go to the bars more often. He could hustle pool if he had to, he never missed a shot, but he hated pool sharks, they got so territorial. An' that wasn't the main reason. He wanted to be with his family, not out here. Not all the time. _God. I've got a family. An' I gotta hurry up, get home to that little family._

"Spike, sit in!" Clem seemed genuinely happy to see him.

"In a minute, Clem. Can you take a hand off, wanna talk to you about somethin'."

Clem nervously walked out of the back room and sat in a dimly lit corner booth with Spike. "If it's about those purebred Himalayans-"

"Clem. You keep your mouth off humans an' you're aces with me. Don't care what you do to the local flora an' fauna."

"Whew." Clem looked relieved. "Do you need me to spot you a stray? I can. Half-grown, but it's been a slow night. Of course, now that you're in, every tough in the place is going to want to play a hand."

"Lovely." Spike sighed, and then laughed. "The stray'd come in right handy, thanks mate. No, I had a deal for you."

"A deal?" Clem had heard about plenty of the plans Spike used to orchestrate. Demons ended up dead, victims to his impatience, his temper, or often as not, his nutcase girlfriend. And now that his girlfriend was the Slayer, and Spike was a "good guy", he wasn't sure if the likelihood of being killed was reduced or increased.

"On the up an' up, I swear on my fangs." Spike accurately heard the hesitation.

"Okay. Um. Okay, I mean- do I have to say yes? If I say no am I gonna get torn into little bits of skin?"

"Nope." Spike sighed contentedly. It was good to be feared. He didn't want to get completely soft- at least not without Buffy bein' around to reap the rewards. "So, I've changed addresses." Spike began, whispering now. "That's not to be spread around, you understand?"

"You and blondie?" Clem sounded thrilled, but maintained a whisper. "Aww. She's sweet, I mean, kinda tight in the skin for my tastes, but she's a beauty for vamps."

"She is that." Spike let a pleased smile cross his lips.

Clem watched Spike's mouth get soft and his normally stone faced appearance melt, age and discontent dropping off. Wow. The Big Bad in love. "So? This move has something to do with me?"

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, see I'm leavin' the crypt. Furnished. Two levels."

"It's got a basement?" Clem's eyes lit up. That was something he didn't know, even though he'd visited Spike at his place before.

"It sure does. Bedroom. Shower- well- pipe with water comin' out. Sewer access nearby. I left a micro, telly, an' a fridge."

"Wow. A sweet deal all around. Do you have any idea how much you want for it?"

"A kitten a week. Paid whenever I come in to the bar. Flexible though."

"A kitten a week- you're kidding! That's a steal!" Clem's voice rose and Spike shushed him, pulling his flabby arm making his head jerk down to the table top.

"There's another requirement. More of a barter."

"Oh?" Clem asked worriedly.

"If certain friends of mine get in a jam- in Restfield, you'd let them stay there until things ease up."

"Vamps?"

"Humans."

"Humans?" Clem blinked his red eyes rapidly.

"Yeah. You know. Slayer. Her Watcher. Her mates. You've seen 'em on patrols, or they come in here sometimes to beat up snitches. This is not a good time to act stupid, Clem."

"No, I get it. I'd recognize them." Clem nodded. "Plus, I mean, no ordinary human is going to come wandering around looking to enter a crypt unless they're crazy, or a friend of yours."

"So, you're interested?" Spike lit up a cigarette in relief.

"Absolutely, Buddy!"

"Don't call me 'Buddy'."

"Right. Spike. When can I move in?"

"Gimme until Monday night. It's Slayer's birthday, I might need to stash some things there until the party. So after dark, you should be fine." Spike rose from the table extending his hand to shake. Clem grasped it heartily. "Pleasure doin' business with you. An' I hope you won't think I'm rude, but I gotta get in the game an' pick up some kitties. Don't want to waste any extra money on blood from the butchers this week."

"If things are tight, man, I could always buy you some pints, a land lord present?"

"No, things aren't tight." Spike shrugged. "Well- a little this week. But that's just 'cause I'm buyin' my girl something pretty for her birthday." Spike smiled fondly.

"Oh, you know there was a guy in here- last night- he needs someone who can hold their own against a Suvolte."

"Suvolte. No problem there. He wants it removin'?"

"No, he wants someone to kill a nesting mother and hold the eggs. It's not due to lay for a couple weeks though, so I can get in touch with him if you're interested."

"What the hell kind of soddin' idiot would want to hold onto a clutch of Suvolte eggs? Those little rats are vicious, rip your bits off as soon as they hatch."

"I don't think he wants someone to hold them until they hatch, just until he gets his buyers in."

"Clem, you intrigue me. Tell me more over a nice pair of aces." Spike put his arm around his shoulders in a rare gesture of friendliness.

"Well, you know these ears don't miss much. So, I heard..." The demon and the vampire headed off together into the back room.

Buffy and Dawn were asleep in a huddle on the floor in front of the television when Spike let himself in. Buffy instantly sat up, hands on Dawn's back in a protective gesture. "Spike?"

"Only me. Bloody hell, Buffy, it's half past two! You and Niblet should be in bed!" He hissed.

"We were worried about you." Dawn sat up slowly, half of her long dark hair stuck to her damp cheek.

"It's a school night- oh. No, that's right it isn't. Still, you're a little thing an' you need proper rest." Spike chivvied her up the stairs.

"Gosh, sue a kid for worrying." Dawn huffed, then leaned down from her place a few steps above the ground floor and kissed him on the forehead. "Night, Spike. Night, Buffy. That was a fun night."

"It was. Night, Dawn." Buffy smiled warmly at her sister. Dawn beamed drowsily and staggered off to her room.

"I got blood. Let me put it in the fridge an' I'll be right up." Spike kissed Buffy quickly.

"I thought you were patrolling." Buffy followed him into the kitchen.

"I did. Then I went to Willy's and Dockside. Got blood and cash. Oh, an' a whole bunch of interesting gossip from Clem. An' Clem's gonna move into the crypt- an' why are you lookin' at me like that?" Spike turned and saw her leaning against the counter, her arms crossed and a bemused giggling grin on her face.

"Because a lot of women would probably get some kind of half baked tale about running into a friend or in our case, a really icky demon that was really hard to kill. But not you. No, you come in, ' I got blood, I got cash, let me tell you my demon buddy gossip'."

"I won't lie to you, Sweetlet. Not if I want you to keep trustin' me. Although- birthday presents and other surprises are different, I can be less than honest about that for a few days, right?"

"Right." Buffy hooked one finger into the open collar of the gray button down shirt he wore and tugged him gently in the direction of bed. "And being able to trust a guy is a major turn on, let me tell you." She purred.

"Don't you have class?"

"No, tomorrow is Sunday. You keep trying to rush us to Monday."

"Monday is a special day." He put his hands on her hips as she walked in front of him.

"For the first time in four years, I'm kinda looking forward to it. I mean, I'm still expecting the big bad to come crashing down-"

"Since when have I ever crashed?" Spike kissed the back of her neck gently.

"You know what I mean."

"I do. Don't think it's gonna happen that way this year, Precious. You already got the Big Bad. An' _he's_ got _you_."

Buffy pulled him into their room and laughed softly when he whirled her around, sitting her on the bed. "You're not such a bad guy anymore."

"I love you too much. My bein' bad makes you unhappy." He ran his thumb over her chin and cheek, then across her lips, smoothing a smile onto them. "You had so much sadness lately. No more of it from me."

"I believe you." Buffy ran her hands lovingly over his chest, flicking open buttons. "Spike? When's your birthday?" She looked up at him with trusting jade eyes, watching a myriad of emotions cross his ivory face. Love, hope, contentment, happiness, relief. All because of her. She'd never had such an ego boost.

Spike couldn't believe she was asking him, worrying about the trivial things for him. _We've really come a long way together._ "Doesn't matter anymore. I got all the presents I could want, right here."

"This is the way all Sundays should be." Buffy sighed contentedly. She and Spike were sprawled on the sofa, watching (or rather pretending to watch) an old black and white movie and read an Agatha Christie mystery. Dawn lay on the floor with her legs up over the arm of an armchair, a magazine fanned across her face as she dozed off and on.

"I agree." Spike said, although with less enthusiasm. He and Dawn exchanged a look. Giles was supposed to call at noon and ask Buffy to come train with him. Once that happened, he and Dawn could book it to the mall, pick up some presents, and get back.

"I'm gonna call Janice." Dawn said with a loud yawn. "See if she wants to hang out."

"Hey." Buffy said in mindful voice.

"Oh. If she says it's okay, can we hang out?"

"Is your homework done?"

"Yes."

"Then okay. Until dark, not later."

"Thanks, Warden." Dawn chuckled and took the portable phone to her room. Once inside she dialed the Magic Box. Tara answered. "Tara! I thought you'd be baking!"

"I baked all the layers. I just have to ice them and decorate them. It won't take too long. What's up, Dawnie?"

"I need to talk to Giles. Is he there?"

"He just got here. He had a little trouble getting Buffy's present. Apparently his land lady signed for the 14th century broadax he ordered when it arrived yesterday- and she didn't want to release it when he came to get it today without one heck of a good explanation."

"Well, get his tweedy backside on the phone, please."

"I'm here Dawn. And my backside is denim, these days, not tweed, as you well know."

"Spike and I have to go to the mall and the party store! You were supposed to call half an hour ago!"

"Heavens, Dawn, calm yourself. I'll keep her occupied until dark, I promise. Will that be enough time?"

"Yes. And just so you know- since I'm your date tomorrow night, you're _so _gonna have to bribe me or I'm going to be a pain the whole time."

"As opposed to what you are now?" He teased.

"Hey!" She protested.

"Very well. You shall be bribed. Would you like the bribe in the form of chocolate or reading material?"

"Oooh, tough choice. Let's see... reading material. _This_ time. I'm going to hang up so you can call Buffy and demand your Watcherly rights to training time."

"She's not going to be happy with me, you know."

"I'll make it up to you." Dawn giggled. "Chocolate or reading material?"

"I suppose I'll take chocolate,_ this_ time." He sighed.

"Janice can't hang out today." Dawn came down stairs with a shrug. "Spike, can you take me for a bike ride when it gets dark?"

"Sure, Bit." He looked up at her as he stroked Buffy's hair. He raised his eyebrows questioningly. She gave a nearly imperceptible nod of her head. "I think I'm gonna get up an' get some blood, Precious, you want anything?" He shifted Buffy from his lap.

"Some OJ?"

"Comin' up." Spike smiled and headed to the kitchen. The phone rang and he relaxed. He hadn't realized this domestic bliss was gonna tax him like it did. He supposed with Dru it had been different, because he could just kill and take whatever he wanted. No, he didn't want to do that now, but he still wanted to give Buffy and Dawn everything they could ever want, as honestly as he could. A nice, curse-free birthday party was a good start. If everyone would just do their job.

"Hullo?"

"Spike, put Buffy on, I'm about to do my diversionary tactic."

"Hullo, Rupert. Buffy! Your Watcher's lookin' for you." Spike tossed her the phone and she caught it easily as she rose off the couch. They smiled, sharing a special glance. It was nice to have a partner who could match you in the speed, strength and agility categories.

Spike and Dawn tried not to laugh aloud as they listened to Buffy's side of the conversation. "Hi Giles! How's the bestest Watcher in the world?" Buffy caroled. "You what? When? Now? Now! Giles, it's Sunday afternoon. This is family time. Yes, of course, you're family. Yes, I haven't trained much lately. Ohhhh. You know you're in danger of losing that bestest Watcher title now, right? Okay. Twenty minutes. And I better be getting something awesome for my birthday for this." She hung up the phone. "He wants to get all training-y today. Sunday! And he reminded me I have my little 'name that demon' quiz on Tuesday."

"Poor little Slayer." Spike teased and ducked a throw pillow. "Sorry, Luv, d'you want a lift?"

"No, I'll walk. But you'll have to cook now."

"Hurray!" Dawn cried, and Buffy glared. "I mean...boo."

"I'll make somethin' you like." Spike kissed his girlfriend and gave her a shove, worrying that they'd never get going at this rate.

Once Buffy was out of the way, Spike pulled on his blackout goggles and duster, and vaulted to the Jeep, Dawn in tow. "I'm getting her a jacket." Dawn said firmly.

"Bit, you're not takin' money out of your account, are you?" Spike asked warningly.

"Nope. Fleeced a couple senior 'look at the mousey little freshman' bitches on Friday. The kind who have rich parents."

"We're gettin' by, Niblet. You- you aren't worried about money, are you?"

"Hello, no way! I'd rather have a family than a bazillion dollars."

Spike felt his chest expand in warmth at her words. "Do you think a necklace would be too much? Too serious?"

"Spike. You're living with us. It's your house, your family. I don't think you can get any more serious."

"But you know her. I'm always careful not to push. At least until she's ready to get pushed."

"Yeah. I think a necklace will be fine. It won't be some big diamond thing, will it?"

"I'm lookin' at a hundred dollar price range probably. So no."

"She'll love whatever you get her. Just no rings yet. She might go shadow-Buffy again."

Spike swallowed. "No. No rings. Not for a long time, probably." He hastily changed the subject. "I wonder what every one else is getting her?"

"Oooh, Ahn." Xander unpacked the bag from the novelty store that his fiancée had set on the table. "I love it." He held up a jar of Chocolate Frosting Edible Body Butter. "Way to end a glorious Sunday of beer and pretending to understand football."

"Put that down, it's for Buffy. I got us strawberry cream."

"Oh, that sounds yummy, too and wait- who is this for?" Xander's face paled.

"Buffy. And those red panties. Do you think they're a good fit, or should I get a smaller size? I can still run back to the store on my lunch break tomorrow."

"Ahn! You can't give this to her! It's- it's sex stuff."

"So? We're taking Dawn tomorrow night so Spike and Buffy can be alone and make loud orgasmy noises. Might as well as give them some new things to play with. I thought about getting Spike a-"

"Stop. Stop right now. Do not ever, _ever_ finish that sentence. I don't even want to _know_ what you think Spike would want."

"Fine. What did _you_ get Buffy?" Anya asked in a snit.

"Will and I are doing a patrol for her tomorrow night. And a popcorn popper."

"It's a masterpiece, Baby." Willow snuggled into Tara's curvy form, arms around her hourglass waist as Tara put a final pink sugar star on top of the three layer chocolate fudge frosted cake. "I don't know how we're going to get it there in one piece though."

"Stabilizing spell." Tara placed a dollop of frosting on her lips and let Willow kiss it away.

"I thought we agreed no magic for household stuff." Willow pouted.

"We did. This counts as breaking the birthday curse." Tara nibbled Willow's pout. "Don't make puppy eyes at me, Sweetie."

"Would making the present wrap itself count as breaking the birthday curse?" Willow pleaded.

"What'd you pick out?"

"A new blouse- stain and wrinkle resistant, you know, for the slaying. And that new CD she wanted."

"I think we can wrap those ourselves."

"Aww."

"Come on. I'll help you. And if you're a good girl, you can unwrap something of mine in a little bit."

"In that case, point me to the ribbon and get out of my way!"

"I'm not sure if it's appropriate. And you do look tasty." Clem plucked the smallest grey kitten out of the sleepy pile in the basket at his feet. "But you're not gonna be worth much, you little runt. Hm. Maybe I'd better bring flowers just in case."

On Monday afternoon, Spike paced like a caged animal. He had streamers up- haphazardly up, but still in the air. He had one of those big, stupid banner that said "Happy 21st" and had little martini glasses all over it. He had snack food out. And he could force himself to blow up balloons, sucking in air and quickly expelling it. However- after three balloons he gave up and decided to wait for Dawn and her still naturally functioning lungs to help.

Dawn's help was quick in arriving, along with Xander. "Xan picked me up so we could get here faster and- oh God, Spike, don't put cheese and crackers out this far in advance. Put the dip back in the fridge."

"The last party I threw had humans as the main dish." Spike muttered. "An' bugger the temperature as long as they weren't bled out."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Xander put down two presents, a large box and a small red bag on the coffee table.

"I was jus' sayin'. I've never thrown a party for her before."

"Well, duh." Dawn puffed, between balloons.

"Can I have a peek?" Spike nudged the red bag.

"No! And Buffy can't open it in front of Dawn or Giles. Or me." Xander blushed beet red. Spike looked at him as if he'd gone mad. "Anya bought it."

"Ah. Enough said. I'll be sure to thank her later." He curled his tongue behind his teeth in a lecherous smirk. Xander groaned and took a handful of balloons to a corner as far from Spike as possible.

Tara and Willow arrived next, carrying the cake between them with a nervous air. "Hullo, ladies." Spike smiled charmingly.

"Move before we drop this thing!" Willow panted in way of greeting, and Spike hopped out of the way.

"When's Buffy arriving?"

"At five. Giles and Anya won't be here until after six though, an' even that was a stretch apparently. Anya didn't much care for the idea of closing early."

"We need the money for the wedding." Xander said defensively.

"I know, mate, an' I appreciate all you're doin' for Buffy." Spike said quickly.

Xander shut his mouth with a snap. "Uh. Can I help with drinks?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Spike smiled slightly and Xander hesitantly returned the gesture.

Buffy's stomach had happy butterflies in it as she trotted home from campus. So far- no bad birthday. She woke up with Spike's head between her legs and bringing her to a fast climax before she could even say "good morning", and Dawn let her sleep in. Spike made her breakfast and scrubbed her back in the shower. She decided- and this was so weird- that having Spike in her life was a good thing- and maybe it was like a karma balance issue. There was already evil vampire-y crap in her life. So now there was no room for any more bad. Crossing her fingers, she picked up her pace. _It'd be great if I didn't have to slay something before my party._

"Happy birthday!" Buffy found herself greeted by shouts from Dawn, Willow, Xander, Tara, and Spike.

"Oh, guys!" She'd known they were coming over, Spike had told her the deal, first her friends got her, then _he_ got her. "You- whoa. Decorations." She looked at the place, covered in lopsided streamers and clusters of uneven balloons and a truly tacky banner. And all of her friends standing under it. It was the most beautiful birthday sight she could imagine. _I wasn't supposed to be alive this birthday. But I am. I'm actually happy to be back here for this. Heaven was wonderful. But these people weren't with me. _"Oh, my God! Guys! I love it. _I love it!"_

Buffy made her way through hugs with each guest and ended with Spike. "Did you decorate?" She asked him.

"I'll get better at it by next year." He said in explanation.

"I think it's the best looking thing I've ever seen."

"You blind? Is that the curse this year?"

"Nah. Just got the rose colored glasses on. You know- in love?" And she kissed him, hard and long, in front of everyone. No one made a single comment- except Dawn, and she could get away with it.

"Play tonsil hockey in a minute, you gotta see this cake." Dawn's voice penetrated the lusty haze surrounding Buffy and Spike.

"Who made the cake?" Buffy allowed herself to be tugged into the dining room. "Because whoever it is- I am in love with you." She concluded when she saw the beautiful brown confectionary in front of her.

"Sorry, she's taken." Willow laughed.

"Tara, this- this would make Martha Stewart and Julia Child sick with envy. Can we eat it now?" Buffy hovered over the chocolate cake with longing on her face.

"Why don't we wait for Rupert and Anya?" Spike chuckled. "Damn, Luv, if I'd have known you got so crazy for chocolate, I'd 've covered myself in it a long time ago." Xander let out a silly braying giggle and then hurried into the kitchen mumbling that he needed a soda.

"C'mon, Buffy. Let's put on some music and nibble." Willow removed her friend from her hovering position over the cake.

Giles and Anya arrived shortly after six, bearing more food, some bottles of reasonable champagne for 21st Birthday toast, and a large, awkwardly wrapped present that Giles refused to let anyone else touch. Dawn pounced on Giles as soon as he was done embracing the birthday girl. "Alright. Gimme. My bribe, please."

"You spoiled brat." Giles kissed her forehead and pulled a small leather volume out of his pocket. "Here. It's on loan. I want it back when you're done, because it came from inventory and Anya'll kill me when she finds out." He mumbled. Dawn laughed softly and looked at the title.

"Oh wow. Self-protection spells! Thanks!" Dawn hugged the book to her chest and then hid it in her back pocket when she saw Anya looking at them suspiciously. "Okay, now I owe you- look what I got you- well, look what I made Xander stop and get you."

"An Aero bar! An Aero bar, where-" Giles looked like it was_ his_ birthday.

"The little British tea place. They sell Cadbury stuff, and Quality Street and Lion Bars- but I knew this was your favorite, so I asked Xander to stop when he ran me home from school."

"I take back the spoiled brat remark. Now- if you'll excuse me, I'm going out to the porch to eat this where Buffy can't see me and get hooked on proper chocolate. I don't even want to know what it'd cost to keep her in Aero Bars as compared to Snickers." Dawn tried not to laugh too loudly and watched him scurry furtively away.

Giles opened the front door and backed through it, eyeing the happy, laughing, munching group scattered through the living room and dining room. Perhaps Buffy was finally going to have a demon free birthday.

"Hi, is this where Spike lives?"

Giles turned to see who he'd backed into, and found himself face to face with a nightmare creature standing in the shadows of the porch. Completely surprised, he let out a blood curdling shout.

"I told you so!" Yelled Dawn to Spike, and Spike dashed for the front door, Buffy close on his heels.

"Shut up, Niblet! Buffy, go inside, I can handle- Clem?"

"Oh gosh, man, I am just screwing everything up, left and right!" Clem waved his clawed hand apologetically.

"You know this- person?" Giles demanded.

"Clem?" Buffy shook her head, puzzled. "Why is he here?"

"Clem, what're you doin' here?" Spike asked, voice a cross between exasperation and anger.

"Meeeeow." A tiny voice added itself to the conversation, and the humans and part-humans stopped talking.

"Get inside." Spike said grimly, and herded everyone back indoors.

"I won't, thank you." Giles decided he needed a shot of milk chocolate goodness now more than before. He waited until he was left alone and dug in. _Thank God for Spike. Sometimes a man just needs a little break. Dear Lord. I just expressed thankfulness for Spike. Again. All the blows to the head must be taking their toll._

"Clem-" Spike began in a severe tone.

"I'm leaving! I just wanted to drop this off. Happy Birthday, Slayer." Clem handed her a bunch of pink and white carnations and a small gray kitten.

"It's a cat." Buffy stared at the small, wriggling creature.

"I can take it back. It's-uh- I mean, eventually it'll grow to be worth something. I didn't know if you were a cat person or not, and if not, well, Spike you can have this one if you want it as a freebie for kitten poker. Not part of our rent agreement. Purely for a birthday gift."

Tara and Willow practically knocked Buffy over. "Oh my goodness, he's so tiny!"

"Look at the wittle paws!"

"Oh, I haven't had a kitty since Kitty Fantastico ran away..."

"Buffy, where'd you get this little angel from?"

"Um, guys." Buffy got everyone's attention. "This is Clem. He's a friend of Spike's. I met you once. At kitten poker." Everyone waved, mouths shut. They were used to odd looking demons by now, although not usually ones standing in the front hall.

"Yeah, that's right. Sorry- about the whole tight skin comment."

"Hey, I'm over it." Buffy waved it off. "Will, Tara, do you want to hold this little furball?"

"YES!" Both women dove for it and cuddled it as one, wrapping their arms around each other and the kitten was sandwiched in between.

"Thanks for the gesture, mate. Much appreciated." Spike nodded warmly.

"Nice to meet all of you!" Clem waved cheerfully, and allowed Spike to escort him back to the front door.

"Do you have to go?" Buffy asked as he was stepping outside.

Spike looked at her in surprise. She couldn't be. She barely had gotten used to him being around and they were in love, and he was human looking. Clem was- not, to put it politely.

"No. Not for a couple hours anyway." Clem shrugged, eyes darting between Spike and the Slayer.

"Please stay. A friend of Spike's is a friend of mine. Thank you for the flowers. And the cat." _A friend of Spike's is a friend of mine? No. Not always. But, I guess it won't hurt to say that to Clem. He seems like a nice guy. With unusual taste in gifts, but nice._

"Oh, no problem." Clem beamed.

"I'm not exactly a cat person." Buffy bit her lip. "I'm not trying to be rude-"

"It's not for everyone." Clem shrugged calmly

"But those girls are. And they're like- in love- with your gift. Would you be offended if I ask them if they want the kitten?"

"Nope. I would be honored." Clem nodded deeply.

"Tara, Willow- do you guys want a kitten?"

"Yes!" Willow cried gleefully, snuggling the kitten to her face.

"No, we can't take your gift, Buffy." Tara said, self- denial evident in her tone.

"Well, if you don't, I'm sending it back with Clem."

"You can't send him away, he'll feel all alone and unloved." Willow cooed, kissing the kitten on the nose.

"We can't allow that." Buffy nudged Tara along.

"What should we name it?" Tara asked after a short pause.

"I like Lennox."

"No."

"But it's regal."

"It's weird."

"Save the argument for later!" Spike clapped his hands together. "Since Buffy's already started openin' gifts- let's open the rest, shall we?"

Buffy sat in a place of honor in one of the living room armchairs and watched her friends crowd around her. Dawn was now holding the kitten and mumbling about "stupid big sisters who couldn't handle raising teens and pets at the same time" until Giles, who'd returned, told her to be quiet and give him an explanation after the gifts.

"Wow. You out did yourselves." Buffy appraised the pile of presents. "I don't know where to start."

"With your sister, of course." Dawn put the large rectangular box in her lap. Buffy opened it and gaped over the sturdy black cord jacket with silver buttons.

"When did you get good taste?" Buffy slid it on and twirled. "This is awesome."

"You look gorgeous, Luv." Spike admired her.

"Very nice." Xander praised, and the others joined in.

Buffy almost lectured Dawn about not spending money on her like that, but caught herself. _Go on. Just relax, have fun. Love life for a little bit longer. Maybe it'll stick. Plus, big sister points._ "I love it. Thank you!" She hugged her sister tightly and then picked up the next biggest box. Inside was Xander's popcorn maker, which made Buffy squeal and start reminiscing about how her mom used to make popcorn before they got into the microwave popcorn craze.

"You are the best!" She hugged Xander. "We'll do movie night with real popped popcorn here soon. Thank you, too, Anya." She hugged the ex-demon.

"Oh, that's not my gift. Mine is in the little red bag. But you should open it in private. At least, according to Xander."

"I just want a little peek." Buffy held the bag close to her face an looked in. Red lace thong. Some chocolate body spread. Maybe more hidden in the piles of tissue paper, but she'd seen enough to get her heart beating harder. She imagined Spike lapping the creamy chocolate off of her nipples and then changed to envision lapping it off of his lips in a dark, sugary kiss. "Thank you." She said hoarsely, blushing. She passed the bag to Spike automatically and watched him steal a quick glance. From the way he excused himself to put the bag on the stairs, waiting to be carried up, she knew he'd seen. When he looked back at her his eyes were slightly darker looking, his nostrils flared. Mutually killed by the lust bunny, Buffy thought.

"Now, let me help you with my gift." Giles stepped up, trying not to notice how Buffy was blushing. "Put it flat on the floor, yes, like that. And don't touch the gift, just the paper." Buffy bent over the gift, looking at him with amused eyes, watching him get excited.

"Well, it can't be a book..." She teased, not touching it yet, knowing the waiting was killing him.

"No, no, your Slayer instincts are right there." Giles chuckle.

"Open it before G-Man has a heart attack, Buffster." Xander encouraged.

"Yes, Luv, not nice to kill the Watcher when he brought you a pressie." Spike laughed.

With a sudden lunge, Buffy ripped the paper cleanly down the middle and then gasped. "It's beautiful! It's so shiny!" Buffy picked up the ax as Giles warned-

"It is quite heavy, lift with-" Buffy lifted it easily and swung it cleanly in a flawless silver arc.

"What was that, Giles?" She asked, clearly focused on her new gleaming silver ax.

"Something rather stupid, I'm afraid." He smiled. "Do you like it?"

"Are you kidding? I'm going to save it for special beheadings!"

Clem made a choking sound, and all eyes turned to him. "Sorry- chip dip went down the wrong way." He lied in a strangled voice.

"Oh, Clem, don't worry. You're a friend of Spike's, no one would hurt you!" Dawn rushed to reassure.

"Oh, yeah, Clem, totally after baddies, not- nice guys." Buffy cast an affectionate look at Spike.

"That's a relief. I think I'm pretty nice." Clem still sounded nervous.

"Clem's gonna take over my crypt, now that I've set up here." Spike decided to try to make Clem feel completely at ease. "He's said we can always use the crypt as a safe house if we get into a scrape in Restfield." Everyone murmured their appreciation and the tense atmosphere left the room.

After she hugged Giles into a breathless mass for her new weaponry, Buffy opened Willow and Tara's gifts. She admired the blouse and put the CD in at once. "And now cake!" She declared.

"One more." Spike interposed before they all rushed off to devour the gorgeous dessert that Tara made. "Jus' a little somethin'." Not entirely comfortable with all the eyes on him, he was very off hand about dropping the red velvet jewelry box in Buffy's lap. "There you go, Luv, hope you like it."

Buffy snapped open the case and gasped. A pretty silver chain held a delicate heart made of blue topaz. Not a terribly expensive stone, but brilliant and clear like a sunlit sky. "Spike, it's beautiful!" She stood up and held it out. Everyone made supportive gasps and admiring noises. "I love this color! And a heart- you're so sweet."

Spike shrugged, unable to completely keep the thrilled smile from his face. "Glad you like it."

"I love it!" She wrapped her arms around him and gave him an enthusiastic kiss. "Help me put it on."

Spike almost moaned aloud when she lifted up her hair, a golden sheet that teased him with a waft of her scent and shimmered in the lamplight. _She's smilin'. She's really happy, with _me_. _

"I notice I didn't get kissed, and I dare say that 14th century broadax was harder to come by." Giles teased.

"You can't have that type of kiss anyway." Anya patted his arm. "At least not from Buffy."

"Let's go get the candles lit. Giles, will you get the champagne out of the fridge?" Dawn wanted to give Spike and and Buffy a moment alone. "Buffy's finally legal, might as well do it right." She shooed everyone into the dining room. Spike gave her a wink as she left.

"It's like the color of a sunny sky. If I remember rightly." Spike traced the heart as it rested on her silken throat. "An' you're my sunshine."

"I love it. And thank you- for helping me get back to a place where I actually care whether or not I see another day."

"You do care now, don't you, Pet?" He enjoyed hearing that.

"I want to be alive for a long time Spike. So I can be with all of the guys. So I can be with you. Since-you know, I'm in love with you?" She looked up at him shyly.

_In love with me_. _She's in love with me._ "I'm in love with you, too. Always will be." He kissed her again, a relieved, no-holds-barred kiss that threatened to suffocate her and blind him.

"Wow." She gasped when she pulled back, starry eyed and weak kneed. "Happy birthday, me."

The party- the group portion- ended a little before nine, after much chocolate induced silliness and champagne toasts that became increasingly creative. At last, Dawn took the lead and announced that Spike and Buffy wanted to celebrate privately- which made Buffy blush and the others grin knowingly- and began getting guests to leave.

Tara and Willow went first, carrying their new cat in the box that the popcorn popper had come in, and saying they needed to run to the store for cat litter and food although they had all the other supplies they needed. Xander said he'd meet up with Willow in front of her house as soon as he dropped Dawn and Anya off.

"And we'll have her to school on time, I promise." Xander kissed Buffy's cheek as they left.

"You guys are the best." Buffy hugged him back painfully hard.

"And don't you forget it." He goofed.

"Congratulations, Buffy. Here's to many more years." Giles finished a final sip and raised his glass to her before embracing her warmly, whispering in her ear. "I know you've died twice. That it is hard to be back." He pulled back and Buffy swore there were tears in his eyes. "But I'm so glad you are, my dear. So very glad you are."

"Me, too." She snuffled and hugged him again.

"Slayer- it was so nice to see you again. Thanks for inviting me to stay. Gotta say, Spike, I see the attraction." Clem patted Buffy's hand awkwardly and was surprised to feel it squeezed back warmly.

"Cheers, mate. See you round the pub." Spike closed the door and locked it, turning to face his lover. "Time to open that present from Anya?" He asked suggestively.

Buffy ran up the stairs and collapsed on the bed, giggling, just out of his reach, dumping the red bag out between them.

"What'd we get, I just had a quick look."

"I can't believe she gave us this stuff!" Buffy blushed, digging through the tissue paper.

"Well, Demon Girl has a very good view of sex, in my opinion. She thinks it needs to be with one person you're mad about, really good, an' lots of it. That's my opinion as well."

Buffy held up the palm sized jar. "Chocolate Frosting Edible Body Butter. Directions: Apply to clean skin. Lick off. Avoid contact with eyes." She looked up at him. "I think we can handle that."

"I think you should save these for another time then." Spike held up the new red thong on one slender finger. "Don't want them ruined first time out."

"And she gave us this little bottle, I didn't see that before. Chocolate Passion Massage Oil. I think I'm starting to love that girl."

"She certainly knows about your addiction. An' mine." Spike growled, pouncing on her.

"What's yours? _I'm_ the chocoholic."

"My addiction is you, you silly girl." He kissed her, reaching up and undoing her necklace. "Don't want that to break."

"We should find some old towels. I don't want to explain to Dawn why the sheets suddenly look like we had a food fight."

"Good plan. You go have a rinse in the shower, an' I'll put down towels. Join you in a minute?"

"Okay, but no hanky panky. I want my birthday sex like my cake. Covered in chocolate."

"I promise." Spike nodded, hurrying to find some older looking towels in the linen closet. He didn't however, know how he was going to keep his promise. Wet, naked Buffy, who was in love with him, who was making a life with him- how do you control the urge to ravish _that_?

Buffy was having the same thoughts, which is why the water was barely warm. "Sweetheart, it's no big deal to me, but aren't you cold?" Spike asked when he stepped in.

"Uh-huh." Buffy shivered.

"Actually, I can see that." Spike looked at her breasts, peaked with extremely tight nipples, and the skin around them crinkled up in tight hills that begged to be sucked. "Can I warm you up?"

"This is supposed to cool us off."

"It does- but I'm still a vamp. I can get hard in the snow, if I gotta." To prove his point he dragged her hand the length of his shaft. "But unless you have a real thing for ice cubes that you haven't told me about- we should generate some heat, hmm?"

"Oh- okay." She let herself be pulled into his arms and they swayed for a moment, hands trailing up and down each other's backs, massaging, warming, washing. "This is the best birthday I've had in years."

"Did you know I came to your last one?"

"No." She looked shocked.

"Stood outside for an hour, tryin' to work out how to give you a box of chocolate without gettin' staked or my heart broken." He nibbled her neck and across her collarbone, down the valley of her breasts, chasing water droplets with his lips.

"So- that's why you were there when-"

"Dawn snuck out, an' I went with her. I didn't want her to get hurt, an' I figured nothin' could do her damage if I was there." He laughed bitterly. "An' I buggered that up, didn't I?"

"You kinda did." She pulled his chin from her cleavage and looked into the bright blue eyes she had come to love. "But I 'buggered' up plenty in my whole life with Dawn. So, I'm- I guess I'm saying, everything is forgiven."

Forgiven is one of the most underrated words for sweetness, Spike decided. "Thank you, Luv." He felt himself starting to get lost in his emotions, and he didn't want to do that, he wanted tonight to be purely happy for her. Straightening up with determined gleam in his eye, he pulled her out of the shower. "Well, come on then. I'm a year late, but better now than never."

"A year late?" She laughed, letting him towel her off.

"I'm finally gonna give you somethin' chocolatey without fear of broken hearts or stakes."

"Oh. Yeah, and I'm going to return the favor. But- I never played with food before." She felt her cheeks getting pink. "So you'll have to tell me if I'm doing it right."

"I know you'll be a natural at it. You're so good at everything, Luv."

Turning off all lights but a small bedside lamp they'd purchased in the last few weeks, Spike unscrewed the jar and held it out to Buffy.

"That's good stuff. Not like air freshener chocolate, that's like _real_ chocolate." She inhaled.

"How's it taste?" Spike dipped his finger in and brushed it across her full bottom lip. Her tongue darted out and captured his fingertip, making him moan. "It sure as hell _feels_ good."

"Mm, and it's yummy." Buffy mirrored his actions, swiping her finger into the jar and then just past his lips. God, he has a sinful tongue, she thought as it wrapped around her finger and pulled it all the way into his mouth.

"Now, where else would this look good?" Spike pushed her back and covered her with kisses before letting one frosting coated finger swirl and pinch her nipples, slathering the butter on them.

She moaned when he tugged at her sensitive peaks, but he didn't take them into his mouth. "Hey. Chocolate Buffy goodness. No waiting." She tried to lure him in.

"No, there's waiting. But not much." He grinned, and traced a large heart across her torso. She giggled as it tickled and he glared. "Stop. You're messin' up my art work." He poked her ribs. Inside the heart he finger painted "S + B = Love".

"That's so corny." She sighed, but her eyes were glowing, her entire body was glowing.

"Yep. Better eat the evidence." With long, torturous strokes of his tongue, he did, never closing his eyes, wanting to watch her squirm, giggle, arch, and moan for him. She grasped his hair with her small, strong fingers as he finished with a nipple, and he could feel her shudder, see her get that half-orgasmic smile. "Love you." He breathed, pulling his head over hers so he could look fully into her face.

"I know. It's written on my tummy." She teased.

"You're beautiful." He sighed, licking every last dark trace from her skin.

"And so are you. In a guy way." She dug her hands into his back, hugging him to her body before rolling him onto his back and straddling him, close, but not joining their bodies. She grabbed for the jar, letting her breasts brush his face, and then began creating her own masterpiece, chocolate on his lips, a line down his chest, a brush across each small nipple, and then her own message. "If you didn't have such killer abs, this wouldn't be so hard." She complained.

"I could try to get fat, if you'd like."

"I love the way you look. But my love note is all bumpy." She pouted. Spike craned his neck to read the scrawled message on his skin.

"Property of- Sylvia?"

"Slayer! And on this side it says Buffy's." She laughed, and started kissing it off. Unlike him, she didn't lick and lap, she kissed, suckling it off and swiping it on her fingers to bring to his eager mouth, shuddering when he took care of her fingertips. "I didn't know fingertips were all erotic touchy like that." She gasped.

"We're jus' findin' out what we like." Spike sighed. Then tensed. Her thumb was back in the jar of rich fudgey cream and was then sliding up and down his neck. "Uh- Buffy?"

"Mhmm?" She bent and suckled on his still pulse point, determined to give him a frosting hickey.

"Honey- you- oh God." Spike, closed his eyes and gave up trying to explain.

"What?" She nipped him.

"This." Spike looked at her, now with demonic features.

"Oh. Hello." Buffy tilted his head back and resumed her work. It didn't even cause her a blink of surprise. She was in love with Spike, it no longer mattered what face he showed her.

"Baby- necks are- sensitive on vampires." He whimpered when he felt her teeth pinch him. _And vampires love necks, and bloody hell I want her now. On my cock and in my mouth._ He jerked her hips down lower, teasing her entrance with his dripping tip. "Mind if I come in?"

"Make yourself at home." She laughed, sitting up and settling herself over him with a long thrust and a moan. His demon face melted off as he relaxed. "So. Necks?"

"Very good thing." He nodded, mind still reeling a little.

"I figured they would be. That's why I did it."

"Minx."

"Consider it a party favor."

"You already gave me a dozen party favors. Lettin' Clem in without so much as a peep, kissin' me in front of everyone. Every smile you let me see makes me happy."

"Spike- I'm not ashame-y girl anymore. Out of the closet, remember?"

"I know. But it felt like a long time comin'. At least for me. When I loved you for so long and I never thought I'd see you again, Then I never thought you'd love me back." _Damn poetic priss. Don't get mushy, this is her happy night, and I'm not sure, but sobbin' vamps probably count as awkward birthday curse problems._

"I love you. And it was a long time coming. I guess we just have to make up for lost time." She pressed her lips to his and held him deeper inside herself.

Spike was sleeping, on his side, just a cat nap between rounds, he said. Buffy believed him, and made the best use of that cat nap, taking one herself. The house was still and peaceful, the air warm and scented with chocolate, upstairs and down, and she had faint, but pleasant, champagne tingles. _I love this. All of this. I'm glad to be back. _

Spike rolled over, watching her sleep. It seemed a shame to wake her. On the other hand...

Buffy woke up from her nap to find two fingers dancing gently over her nub and inside her, alternating strokes. "I love you." She cried and leaned up to kiss him.

"I love you, too." He reminded her. "Happy birthday, Buffy."

Buffy cast a look at the clock. Just after midnight. "Hey! Hey, we did it! You broke the curse, this was officially a good, non icky birthday! Thank you!" She thanked him passionately.

"Nothin' to it." He shrugged, relief flooding him inside.

"You say that, but I know better." She lovingly caressed his face. "Now come here and let me thank you for making this the best birthday ever."


	4. Chapter 4

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives._

_We're jumping around here, but always in a linear fashion. This chapter has a little bit of everything, heavy on the mushiness, enjoy the buffet. __**Severe smut towards the end, not for the easily squicked. **_

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Dlillith21, and Good for the Soul _

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part IV

"Buffy, why is this day circled in red?" Dawn flipped to the next page of the calendar on the kitchen wall on the morning of February first. "Valentine's is the fourteenth, in case you forgot."

Buffy looked up from the sandwiches she was making. "Oh, no, I know it isn't Valentine's Day. That's when the she-devil social worker does her follow up visit. That's- that's five days away!"

"Uh-oh." Dawn breathed. _Wait for it... wait for it... now!_

"Spiiike!" Buffy abruptly stopped packing lunches and shouted loudly.

"Yes, Luv?" Spike replied, shouting as well because he was still upstairs.

"The social worker comes back in five days!"

"Stupid, miserable cow." They heard him mutter as he descended the steps. "Morning, Bit." He squeezed Dawn's shoulder as he entered the kitchen, then headed to Buffy, and wrapped his arms around her waist as he stood behind her. "What's the game plan, coach?"

"I vote for kill the bitch." Dawn ate her pop tart with a smile.

"Please don't swear. She's coming to the school, I don't know if she's going to talk to the principal and guidance counselor, or just you, or just them. Please, please be good!"

"I _am_ good!" Dawn pouted, offended.

"She is, Buffy, she hasn't missed a single day an' her grades are back to pre-Glory. She's like Red, lovin' that academic scene." Spike praised and Dawn flushed.

"I know, and I'm proud of you." Buffy handed Dawn her lunch in a paper bag. Dawn absolutely glowed. _Wow. I need to tell her I'm proud of her more often. I was sucky sister even before I came back all broken and empty inside. _

"I think Big Sis means play it goody-goody for the next week. No swearin', don't sass anyone, and no poker."

"No poker! How am I supposed to go to the mall without poker money?" Dawn asked angrily.

"No mall?" Buffy suggested with a wince. She'd love to give Dawn all the spending money in the world. But the mortgage and the utilities were just covered by the work-study grant. They would have had money for food or a little slush fund for special occasions or random fun outings, but not both, unless Spike chipped in. That first month Spike picked up the car insurance and the groceries without saying a word or ever making her aware of it. There was just enough money in the account when she needed it. She wondered how he always managed to put it in between the time she last checked and when she needed it, but he was sneaky like that. And then there was her birthday party._ He shouldn't have done that, but... it was so special. _She touched her blue topaz heart that she wore every day now, and tried not to feel too guilty. "Sorry, Dawn."

Dawn watched Spike's jaw flex and Buffy's eyes get a far away, stressed out look, and felt like the biggest spoiled brat in the universe. "Oh, come on guys! I'm just joking around! The mall? Me? Ha, I couldn't even get in without a chaperone probably. Me and my old stick fingered ways." She laughed nervously and glanced at the clock. The bus would be there soon. "I'm gonna go. I love you. Both. 'Kay?" She looked pleadingly at both of her sibling/parent figures and received answering smiles, even if they were slightly saddened. "I'm sorry about the mall comment. I have foot in mouth disease. Or it could be brain-mouth relay malfunction. I'm sorry."

"No big thing, Niblet. Now get movin'." Spike patted her back warmly, and Buffy brushed a kiss across her cheek. Dawn left, feeling a little better, and more determined than ever to keep her big, baby mouth shut.

Once the door closed behind her, silence filled the kitchen. The two lovers were too busy thinking about various things to notice their partner was silent.

_I need a steady job. Or...or one big one that pays well. Where the hell is Joyce's social security money? I thought minors got some sort of money when parents passed on? Why the hell is Hank so hit or miss with the child support? Thought he was some big shot in LA, flyin' all over the world with secretaries in tow. I was gonna give her everything to make her like this world again. Is "just enough" enough?_

Buffy washed dishes from breakfast slowly, even though there were only a handful of them. With the thought of the social worker visit looming in her mind, she also began scrubbing the sink and reorganizing all its surroundings. _Am I missing something? I thought we had it all covered. Am I giving her a good enough life, if she has to gamble to make money to hang out at the mall? Am I encouraging her towards a life of chance? And what the hell kind of life do I live, if not a life of chance? "Spin the wheel, lets see what hell beastie you get this week, oops, you landed on black, the house wins, you die, but lovely parting gift you go to heaven. Spin the wheel again, lookee you come back to life..." _ "Ha!" Buffy let out a vicious laugh.

"Luv?" Spike looked up. _Shit, was I s'posed to be listenin'?_

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"About the money, and the kid, I know." Spike moved to the sink next to her. "I don't make enough to do more than make ends meet, I know that." He took a deep breath. Okay, so it wouldn't be her birthday every month, but it would always be something. Something to keep her from having everything an angel sent back to earth should have to ease her way. "I could still take that gig."

"Huh?" Buffy blinked herself back to reality. "Gig?"

"The Suvolte demon. The thing I was talking to you about all last week? Clem's inside tip off?" He waited for recognition to flash in her eyes and she nodded, waving her hand for him to continue. "Instead of just keepin' tabs on the guy who's gonna harbor them so we can destroy them once they're all collected... I could still tell the chap I'll take the job. I dunno what it pays exactly, but it's a bloody high risk so it's gotta be worth-"

"No! No, Spike, no high risk jobs. Not higher than normal." Buffy wrapped her arms around his sinewy frame. "I can't do this without you."

"You're barely makin' it, even with me." Spike caressed her neck as she burrowed her cheek to his chest. "I'm sorry, I promised I'd help an'-"

"And you do! But I'm not even talking about the money. I can't make it through this life without you. I need you to stay with me, and not take higher than usual risks." She looked up at him and then back down, feeling uncomfortable about what she was going to say, but her heart wasn't keeping quiet. "I think... I think I might die of a broken heart without you." She looked up at him with a sudden tearful glare. "And you can just keep your smug fangy mouth closed! I know it doesn't happen but it feels like it could!"

"You're that in love with me?" Spike didn't sound mocking in the least. "Love me that much?"

"Duh!" She angrily batted his arm and then wiped at her eyes. "Stupid sinuses."

"Then you love me just as much as I love you, Pet." He forced her eyes back up to his, tilting her head up, making his head bob and weave down to catch her proud glance. "Now I've had you, really had you- I know I can't be without you, either, Sweetlet. I thought I was gonna die before, when you were gone, now I don't think I'd even have to try walkin' in the sun." He swallowed and smiled ruefully as her expression softened. "Guys like me can only be killed if we lose our hearts or our heads. I think losin' you again would jus' rip the heart straight outta me. I know- like you said, it can't really happen. But it feels like it could."

I never thought I'd be kissing anyone like this, Buffy thought as they moved as one and devoured each other, hungrily and sweetly, staving off bad memories and bad fears. Preventative broken heart medicine, Buffy chuckled inside herself.

Spike pulled back first. "Half an' hour before you leave for class." He panted.

"Go upstairs?" She wiggled against him.

Spike paused. "I never, ever thought I'd hear myself sayin' this, but no- I was gonna ask you to tell me what needs to be done before the Nazi bitch-cow comes back."

"You can get the list... upstairs." Buffy darted and ran from him, giggling.

"Play it that way if you like!" He tore after her, unzipping his jeans as he went, still barefoot and bare chested as he hadn't planned on getting out of the house for awhile. "I'm gonna get you, you little minx-" His threat died abruptly when he got to the door of their room. "Oh. Guess you wanted to get gotten, didn't you?" He felt his semi stiff cock get completely hard.

"I guess I did." Buffy teased. She was still in her striped red sweater and her socks- but her jeans and panties lay on the floor by the bed.

"That's a glorious sight to see." Spike said reverently, shucking his jeans off as well, and bending quickly to kiss and lick the wetness between her spread legs. The very image of Buffy lying in their bed, on her back, with her legs parted... his mind boggled as she reached down and parted her soft nether lips, _correction, with her legs and her pussy parted_ for him- it was more than glorious. It was surreal and unhoped for in his wildest dreams. That she would love him, yes, he imagined it, that they'd make love, yes, he dreamed it a thousand times. That it would feel so happy, natural, and passionate all at once, that it would happen in their home on a dreary February morning before she left for school and he looked after some details of their shared life- never in a million years did he fantasize it. "This is the best part of my existence, you know that?" He whispered, angling himself on top of her, careful not to muss her sweater or her already fixed hair.

"Making love?"

"No. Making love with you, in our home, in our life. You are full of love, Buffy Summers. And death is your gift. You killed all the bad in my life, an' I want to return the favor." He kissed her, eyes serious.

"You do, Spike. All the bad isn't so bad when you love me." She looked up at him. "Death is my gift, huh? I guess that means you're for me, Mr. Dead himself?"

"Always, Pet."

Their "quickie" wasn't as quick as it should have been. Buffy scrambled into her jeans and shoes with only five minutes to spare before she had to leave or else be late. "I should never have let you talk me into this." She grumped.

"Oi! I didn't go upstairs and lay m'self out like a banquet for a starvin' man."

"I'm teasing. Umm. For today, could you just clean anything that needs to be cleaned and put the electric bill in the mail?"

"Dinner?"

"Spaghetti?"

"Oh, give me a challenge!"

"With homemade meatballs."

"That'll work. An' I'll help Niblet with her homework an' all the usual, so don't worry your pretty head. Jus' go out an' slay those text books!"

"More likely the cash register. I broke one yesterday. I pushed the drawer with slayer strength. The little dingly noise sounds sad now whenever I ring up a transaction." Buffy pouted and Spike laughed.

"Oh, bloody hell, marvelous. You are marvelous." He praised, smiling fondly. "We'll worry about the money later?"

"Don't take the job." She warned.

"Buffy, we could pay the house off if I negotiate right, the guy is a demon arms dealer." He said persuasively.

"What good is the house, without you in it?" She asked with a fiery look in her eye. It melted him completely, she could see him visibly go weak in the knees and she felt extremely proud of her feminine charms. Or her feminine intimidation tactics. Oh well, tom-ayto, tom-ahto. "Don't. Please."

"I won't. But I'm still gonna keep my eye on whoever he hires. We're not lettin' those eggs hatch, Sunnydale would look like a war zone if you had lots of little Suvoltes runnin' wild."

"Sounds like a plan. Love you, bye, Spike." Buffy slid her coat on and picked up her bag and lunch.

"Love you, bye, Buffy." Spike kissed her lingeringly and resisted the urge for another "quickie." He stepped behind the door to let her out without getting sun singed. As soon as he shut it after her, the door banged back open, slamming into him. "Ow! Bloody hell, Luv, what'd you forget?" He sighed.

"Something was bugging me this whole time and I couldn't remember what it was." Buffy him with a deep stare. "You said Dawn's grades were back to pre-Glory. You didn't even know her then."

"Bit talks when she's upset." Spike smiled sadly. "Her grades started to go downhill when - after Joyce really, I guess. But when you were gone- they sucked. She didn't see the point of tryin'. I got her mad one day. I wanted to, make her feel alive, a little bit of spark. I said maybe she just wasn't book smart." He grinned broadly now. "First time Bit ever cursed me out. Got out a shoebox and slammed every report card for the last ten years under my nose. All high marks."

Buffy looked at him in amazement. "You do take time to get to know people."

"Only the important ones." He leaned across the threshold and kissed her goodbye for the day. When he pulled the door closed for the second time, he noticed his cheek was stinging, and felt raw, burned. "Hmm. Didn't even notice it." He touched it lightly, remembering the feel and taste of her kiss, and walked back upstairs, humming.

Dawn came breathlessly into the house and promptly fell down. "Arg!"

"Niblet! My floor!" Spike glared at her, hands on hips, cigarette glowing in the corner of his scowling mouth as he towered over her.

"Oh, I'm fine, too, thank you for asking!" Dawn lay on the floor, aggrieved and stared at him balefully.

"I'm sorry, Li'l Bit." Spike blew out a cloud of smoke and bent, helping her up carefully. "I waxed it."

"You waxed it? We don't wax the floors, are you kidding me?"

"Nope. An' b'lieve me, I know, took me half the day to wax all the hardwood."

"Are you drunk? Did you drink expired blood?" Dawn stared at him worriedly.

"No! I'm makin' the place look better than ever, for the social services bitch."

"Don't you have something better to be doing? Isn't this your one month anniversary of living here? It's a big deal! It's a month-a-versary!"

Spike stared at her, blinking with a pained expression. "Is that a made up word?"

"It's pop culture, old dude."

"You are slippin'! You forgot to tell me about her birthday, now this- month thing! If you know anything else, cough it up!"

"Uhhh. Valentine's Day?" Dawn offered hesitantly.

"Sod it, I know that one. An' she already told me she thought it was a commercial evil."

"She'll still-" Dawn stopped herself with a cough. She remembered that morning. Money was tight. And she was keeping her mouth shut. Appropriately, big girl, responsible girl, shut. "She'll still want a card and flowers, okay? Or- or a poem."

"A poem!"

"Yes, a poem."

"What do you know about-"

"Do not even pretend, Spike. Not with me."

"I never wrote anything for her." Dawn looked at him with an accusing arched eyebrow. "Nothin' I ever showed her!"

"Well, it was a thought. She'd like something from the heart. Nothing big." Dawn almost said "nothing expensive" but halted that ill-chosen word. And of course, Spike knew what she was doing.

"Okay. Good advice, Niblet." They exchanged a look that said a lot more. "So- what does one do for a month-a-versary?"

"Romantic dinner and smoochies? The main thing is you tell her you remember."

"Thank God I got you, Bit. My vamp-to-girl, girl-to-vamp dictionary."

"And don't you forget it." She carefully crossed the polished wood and put her book bag on the floor.

"I have to make meatballs. You need help, Sweet Bits?"

"Nope. Do your House Vamp routine."

"Oi, jus' because I work nights an' help a bit durin' the day..."

"Buffy, don't come in!" Dawn shouted as soon as the door began to open.

"Don't say it like that! She'll think we're ambushed or some rot." Spike came dashing towards the front door.

"Are you okay? What's in there? I'm coming in!" Buffy charged, and thanked God for Slayer reflexes as her feet went in two different directions as soon as she crossed the threshold.

"FLOOR!" Spike shouted, and stuck his hands out to grab her back before she skidded.

"Okay-," Buffy cast a look between her lover and her sister, "anyone want to tell me why I'm doing my ice skating without the ice or skates?"

"I waxed the floors."

"I already did my Michelle Qwan deal." Dawn giggled, watching Spike easily set Buffy upright.

"We have floor wax?"

"You do. Amazin'ly." Spike grinned and looked at her lovingly. Dawn coughed softly.

"I'm done my work. I'll go set the table."

"That was an exciting way to come home." Buffy grinned. "Did you have a nice day?"

"I cleaned an' polished. I made dinner. I feel like a bit of a girl, if you want the truth."

"Would it help you if I wore my sexy little red panties and got you all hot and bothered after patrol?" Buffy breathed against his neck. "Would that remind you how manly I think you are?"

"It'd help. Oh. Happy one month." He kissed her glossy lips. "You didn't think I'd forget, did you?"

In the dining room, Dawn grinned to herself. _Cupid ain't got a thing on me..._

"One month?"

"February first. New Year's was the day I was officially part of this family, right?"

"That's right. Unofficially, you were part of it for months. " Buffy gave him a glowing smile, and then looked up at him wide eyed. "Bad girlfriend."

"Huh?"

"I forgot! I'm so- it's been a long time since I cared- and the days were all blurry and...I totally forgot. I'm- I'm the failure of the year at girlfriendness."

"Harsh, much?" Dawn called.

"This is private!" Buffy returned.

"Bit tipped me off, Luv. I forgot, too. I didn't know 'month-a-versary' was even a term. I didn't want to let you down though, so..." He waited to see if she would be mad for his slight prevarication. She wasn't. She looked mildly relieved.

"It's a stupid, teen girl thing." Buffy shrugged. Dawn gave a groan from the other room.

"After all I do to set things up for those two!" Dawn mumbled loudly and bitterly to herself as she banged the last piece of silverware down. "The table is set."

"Not unless one of us is planning to eat out of the pots, it isn't." Spike counted the two place settings.

"I'm eating in my room. I already have my plate made up. Don't worry, I won't leave it up there until it grows fur and we have to name it- like when I was five." She glared at Buffy, daring her to bring that up in more detail or tease her for it.

"But, Dawnie-"

"I'm going upstairs! So you can eat spaghetti with heavy romance, like Lady and the Tramp, and observe the 'stupid teen girl' ritual of the one month anniversary!" Her demeanor challenged them both to argue. When they didn't, she stomped upstairs triumphantly and angrily. Then stomped down, less angrily, more quickly. "I'm not actually too mad, okay?" She stage whispered.

"Okay." They chorused, unable to stop smiles springing to their faces.

"Thanks, Bit." Spike winked.

"You're welcome. At least _one_ of you is grateful."

"I'm grateful! I'm all with the gratefulness!" Buffy protested.

"Save the pouting for him!" Dawn remarked, not looking back.

Spike and Buffy sat down, Spike lighting two taper candles and moving his plate from across from her to by her side. "Explain somethin' to me?" He asked as she served.

"What?"

"What's this about Lady and the Tramp?"

"Oh. It's a Disney movie. There are two dogs, a stray and this pampered pet-"

"Me, an you?"

"Oh. Maybe a little." Buffy blushed, she hadn't even thought about that. It actually melted her a little inside. Poor Spike, the tramp, all on his own, rough and tumbled about the world- okay, severely evil for most of it, but still... now he had a home and loved ones. With his lady. Yayness. She didn't think Dawn would have picked up on the similarities, either. "I don't think Dawn meant it like that, Spike." She said gently.

"Not offended if she did." He reassured with a smile. "So tell me the tale, then." "Okay, so anyway, they're having this romantic little Italian dinner, and-"

"The dogs are?"

"Yes, the dogs are. It's a cartoon, Spike."

"Ah. Gotcha." He nodded.

"They're eating spaghetti- and actually it _is_ kinda sweet if I think about it. He gives her the last meatball, and then they're eating the spaghetti and they both end up with one end of the same piece in their mouths, so that when they're chewing, they're slowly ending up closer to each other until they kiss."

"How come the spaghetti is on both their plates?"

"There's one plate."

"Then why don't they use the fork an' cut it?"

"They're dogs! No forks!"

"They're dogs, no romantic Italian dinner, either, if you ask me, but apparently anything goes with Mr. Disney."

Buffy sighed, and laughed, enjoying Spike's piqued tone and seeming annoyance. "I think Dawn just wanted me to tell you about the kissing part." She explained, laying a hand on his arm and scooting closer.

"Ahh. That does sound like our girl." He starting eating, well aware of her hand on his arm, feeling warmth from the one spot flooding up and down his chest. "You should eat. You had a long day, and we're on tonight."

"I know." Buffy found herself distracted. Spike might feel kind of "un-macho" for doing house work today, but she thought it was the nicest thing in the world, and he did it for her peace of mind, and so the social worker would be impressed. It made her have that "warm, safe, loved" feeling she craved, and it was very distracting. "You made me feel very heavenly today." Buffy smiled at him, still not eating.

Spike swallowed. "How so?" He was thrilled. She'd never said he'd made her feel "heavenly" before.

"I feel warm and safe and loved when I come home and all kinds of things that stress me out are already taken care of. Things like knowing Dawn's okay, the house looks better than ever, and there's food that doesn't suck- since you're a better cook than I am."

"Oh, Pet, not really."

"Save it, you know you're good." She leaned her head against him. "I know you think it wasn't manly, but taking care of the person you love seems pretty masculine to me. And I'm looking forward to being warm, safe, and loved in your arms later. Upstairs?" She licked her lips and brushed the tip of her tongue against his earlobe.

Spike dropped his fork with a delightful shudder. "Oh._ Heavenly_." Yes, he got the term now, and it was mutual.

"Yeah, heavenly."

He smirked, but it wasn't the hard, lustful look he often gave her, it was modified, gently happy, slightly "naughty". "You know, Luv, I'm a visual learner."

"Are you?"

"Show me the kissin' thing you mentioned?" Buffy giggled and reached for her pasta. He stayed her wrist. "Without the spaghetti, Pet."

"Spike." She sighed his name happily and took his face in her hands.

Upstairs, Dawn smiled contentedly. Soon Giles would be there and they'd torture each other while Spike and Buffy patrolled. His method lately was trying to make her watch CNN- not that he cared about it, he just liked to listen to her whine and freak at him, while he lectured her on the importance of being politically aware. She preferred something more direct- turning the volume up on the most hideously girly music she could find. Maybe she ought to declare a truce. She thought they might be torturing themselves as much as each other. Besides, they had more important things to worry about. Mainly, how to throw a fabulously affordable Valentine's Day for two people who really deserved it.

Dawn heard the stairs creaking and the bedroom door shut softly. She rolled her eyes as she realized dinner was probably lying half finished, or at least not cleaned up after, while Buffy and Spike celebrated their one-month of loving cohabitation. "Spaghetti kisses. The 'aww' factor gets her every time." She hummed smugly and crept downstairs to wait for Giles to arrive.

"Where does Spike work?" Buffy paced in front of her family and friends, hands behind her back, prowling like a general addressing his troops.

"He does odd jobs down at the dock." Chorused everyone but Spike, who huffed and refused to play along.

"That's it. I can't think of anything else she could ask. And she won't bother the three of you." Buffy pointed to Giles, Anya and Xander. "But you two, she might." She sighed and looked at Willow and Tara.

"You did fill the forms in right this time?" Willow asked nervously.

"I double checked." Spike nodded.

"And I have the goods you requested." Xander pulled a realistic looking fake ID out of his wallet. "Mr. William S. Blood."

"I sound like a soddin' pirate." Spike mumbled but looked pleased. He hadn't ever bothered with identification before, but if social worker cow was going to dig about, he supposed he'd have to.

"I thought you said William Spiker! I have to hack back into all the DMV and INS sites now." Willow threw a pillow at Xander.

"Don't muss the couch, I have it perfect for tomorrow." Buffy snatched the pillow, fluffed it, and sat it gently down.

"I suppose one of the questions you grilled us on should have been 'What is Spike's fake name?', hmm?" Giles sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Also- does anybody ever ask where the hell Mr. Summers is?" Xander cried before he could stop himself.

Anya whacked him on the thigh. "You say _I'm _blunt and need to think before speaking?"

"Yeah, well, it's sexually transmitted." Xander mumbled. "Buff, Dawnie, I'm sorry..."

"No big." Dawn said with surprising cheerfulness. "We have Spike now."

"Excuse me? Am I so easily replaced?" Giles demanded in an offended tone.

"Nope." Buffy hugged her Watcher affectionately around the neck. Giles noticed Dawn didn't share in the embrace. "Dawn!"

"Well- you're always here for us. But Spike's kinda- the big brother, guardian deal right now, I mean, for me. Because obviously, Buffy doesn't love him like a dad, and she loves you like one, but I don't love you like a- uh, anyway! Don't feel bad! I still need you in my life and all that mushy crap!" Dawn flung her arms around Giles as well, and the dissatisfied look left his face.

Dawn was saved from her word vomit by Tara. "We'd better get home so Willow can go make all the paperwork add up right. I don't know if they'll look into backgrounds, Buffy, like you're worried about. They would if you were adopting, or if this was a change of guardianship, but it isn't."

"Better safe than sorry when Dawnie's on the line." Willow said firmly, and the others nodded.

Spike stood and the others rose. "How's the little feline, Red?"

"Pepper's fine. Thank your friend for us again. We love him."

"He's a little purr ball." Tara gushed.

"He sleeps all curled up with the little black tip of his tail touching his nose." Willow sighed in parental awe.

Dawn gave Buffy an aggravated glare. "You can save the world, but you couldn't keep the damn cat?"

"No language for the next day." Spike said sternly.

"When you're eighteen you can have all the cats you want." Buffy said. "Oh, God! I'm starting to sound like Mom!"

"I thought that was the point of this whole scary exercise?" Anya knitted her brows together.

"Well done, Luv. You're gonna knock their socks off tomorrow." Spike kissed her cheek.

"Miss Summers, everything seems to be in order. Much, much better order, actually." Mrs. Kroger seemed mildly disappointed, but was forcing a polite smile to her lips. "Your income is just covering your expenses. While that's not ideal- it is sufficient."

"An' that means you have no objection to Dawn stayin' with us?"

"That's right." Mrs. Kroger put her pen down carefully. Last time, he had made her jumpy and she remembered the pen flying from her hand several strangely pale man had an odd effect on her, constantly making her twitch or start in surprise. He never seemed to make any noise until he was suddenly speaking. During the entire time of the house inspection, he seemed to suddenly appear behind her or in the same room when she swore that he wasn't in there. "I do have one question. Mr. -Blood?"

"I know. I'm seriously considerin' havin' it changed." He grimaced.

"Well, it is unusual, but we can't fault that." She cleared her throat. "No, I'm curious about your abrupt decision to move in."

"It wasn't abrupt! A new year, a new life." Buffy said with determination. "It was- it was our plan for the year. To be together- as a family." _Okay, so it was a sudden plan, but a lot of my plans are sudden and pretty good. Unless they fail._

"And how long will you be staying, Mr. Blood?"

"Stayin'?" Spike blinked.

"The other girls stayed for several months, according to our last interview."

Buffy felt like this comment was directed at her. Was there something she should have done or said? _Last interview. I was so rattled... I don't even remember what I said. What did I say? It wasn't on the forms... _"I filled out the forms right, didn't I? Spike checked them!"

"You did fill out the forms correctly. But I was wondering how long Mr. Blood was going to be here. It isn't a stable environment to have adults constantly coming and going in the household."

_No, we all know that, _Spike thought bitterly. _Maybe the old hag should have "follow up visits" with cancer and death and philandering fathers, lecture _them _about movin' people in an' out of someone's life... _"I have no plans to leave. An' I did some readin' up- as long as Buffy fills the forms out right an' makes a good life for Dawn- you can't object to anyone bein' here as long as they're not harmful to the girl. An' I'd give my life for Dawn. Or Buffy." _God knows I tried to... _"So I'm not harmful, an' I'm not poppin' in an' out of the picture. I been a- around this family since Buffy was in high school." Spike said fiercely. He hadn't actually done his reading, but he could smell the discontent in this woman and he knew a bully when he saw one. His statement about the reading was a bluff. But he was one damn good poker player and no one had ever seen his tell. He kept his eyes half-lidded and cool, unflinching from the matronly form.

"That's all we need to see then." Mrs. Kroger croaked, aware that her questioning had gone too far. "We'll be visiting Dawn's school to speak to the guidance counselor, and that will be the end of the follow up procedure."

"Wait. End of the follow up? What does that mean for us? Is everything good, she stays? No one comes back in six months for another follow up and another?"

Well, these two certainly were earnest. And they had made a masterful effort compared to what she'd seen last time. She supposed all three of them had, going by Dawn's turn around in grades. And when the kid bought into a situation, tried hard because they wanted to stay- usually the home was happy and safe, even if not perfect. "This will be the last time you have contact with our offices, yes." Mrs. Kroger allowed a ghost of a smile to pass her lips.

Spike and Buffy beamed and Buffy hugged him. He rocked her from foot to foot, happily, both of them laughing in open, unfettered relief. "Thank you so much!" Buffy shook both of Mrs. Kroger's hands in her own.

"You're welcome." Mrs. Kroger found the genuine smile of the blonde woman infectious. Her partner still seemed to look at her with cold, unmoving eyes, despite his broad smile._ He would have killed anyone who got between this woman and her sister. Which could have been me_. "I have a report to type up." Mrs. Kroger said suddenly. "Nice to see you again. Have a good day." She seized her beige purse and her pen, bobbed a hasty nod and fled.

Buffy stared at her retreating back and then shut the door. "Spike? Did you do something to scare her off?'

"Yeah. I looked at her." He smirked.

"Your looks aren't so scary." She jumped on him, knocking him down to the couch, straddling his lap. "We did it! We did it! We beat the system!"

"An' almost completely honestly, I'm proud- an' oddly disgusted- to say." Spike rubbed her back and looked up at her as she bounced happily on his lap, excited and vivacious, everything he'd ever wanted to see again, and had thought he never would.

"This is like- the best day ever. Like a big victory. My mom would be so proud. I'm so proud. I bet Giles is proud. I bet everyone is proud! We have to call everyone!" She scrambled back off of his lap and he groaned. "What's wrong?"

"You were bouncin' yourself on my lap. Your bits on my bits, to be specific."

"I wasn't trying to be sexy!" Buffy cried, flushing. Looking at his jeans, there was an immediate rise in the center. "How'd that happen so fast?"

"Combination of things," Spike got to his feet with a slight bend in the waist, "you're so much warmer than me, feels naturally good, you release all these scents when you're happy, an' last but not least- _you were bouncin' on my crotch_!"

Buffy giggled. "Come on. I'll get the phone. You get upstairs."

"I thought you were gonna go back to work?"

"I got the whole afternoon off- I might as well use it." Buffy smiled. "If you can wait until I make happy squealing phone calls?"

"I'll wait. Watchin' you be happy is a very stimulatin' thing."

"This is the most hideous thing I have ever seen. And I saw a demon made entirely of mucus covered entrails once." Buffy whispered, horrified. Beside her, Dawn nodded mutely, and Willow and Tara clutched hands, drawing support from one another.

"It looks worse because there are four of them." Willow said, putting on her resolve face. "Alone, maybe not so bad."

"Let's try that." Dawn marched bravely forward, and took one of the emerald green, ruffled dresses festooned with gaudy flounces and fake flowers and held it away from the other three.

"Nope. Didn't help." Buffy crossed her arms.

"Buffy? Does Anya hate us?" Dawn whimpered.

"Of course she doesn't." Tara swallowed. "She just wants us to look terrible so she, the bride, looks better in comparison."

"I'm starting to see the benefit of the burlap and blood larva look." Willow murmured, tentatively taking her dress. "I thought as the 'best man', I'd get an exemption."

"Or a stay of execution." Buffy held the dress up to herself and winced. "When Spike sees me in this-"

"He'll still love you, dummy." Dawn replaced the dress on the hook with a sigh. "Willow, Tara- you still think your girlfriend looks cute, right? Even in the dress that wouldn't die?"

Willow and Tara exchanged a look. "You look cute in anything." Willow giggled and Tara blushed.

"And the more ugly the dress, the faster you want to find someone to take you out of it." The usually demure blonde quipped. After a moment of stunned silence, everyone tittered, gasping "Tara!"

"Hmm. Maybe you _are_ too young to be a bridesmaid. We can see if Anya can still get Halfreck to do it." Buffy looked worried about Dawn suddenly preferring nudity to the dress.

"No! I don't like her. And neither does Xander. It's bad enough she'll be at the wedding, she doesn't need to be in with the bride spouting man-hate." Dawn protested. Buffy chewed her lip. "Honestly, Buffy, do you really think I'm going to go hit on some random guy just so I get out of the dress? It isn't like I can't reach the zipper." She smiled playfully.

"You're right. Stupid sister Buffy." Buffy twirled. "Oh well. It could have been plaid. Or orange."

"Or fluorescent yellow zebra stripes." Willow giggled.

"With matching gloves!" Tara added, laughing harder.

"Or thigh high boots." Buffy's eyes widened to new dimensions at the thought of the four of them in neon yellow hooker wear.

"Oh God, stop, I'm gonna pee!" Dawn fled the room, laughing hysterically.

"I'm so glad Spike is at the bar. He would think we'd lost our tiny little minds." Buffy gasped, hands on her sides.

"He'd be right." Tara shook the dress, which only set them off again.

"At least we have a reprieve." Buffy pointed to the simple cream invitation which was tucked into the dresser mirror in her room. "Remember at Thanksgiving they were talking about moving it up to Valentine's Day, or soon after?"

"Mid- March should be nice. Not too hot, not too cold, not too Hellmouth-y." Willow grinned. "Which reminds me- and please don't hate me for tempting fate- but shouldn't we have a crisis by now?"

"I don't hate you, but don't say that again." Buffy laughed and flopped on the bed. "I think maybe this year will be better. I broke the birthday curse. I'm not hating anyone, I'm in love, I'm in a good relationship with everyone I can think of- well, not my dad, but I have Giles so my dad is kinda just a blip on the screen." Buffy rubbed her arms as if suddenly chilled. Willow and Tara put comforting arms around her and sat beside her. "So- maybe no crisis."

"Spike patrolling with you is almost like double slayer power." Tara said brightly. "Maybe that helps?"

"Yeah, it totally does. And it isn't like we don't have a big bad- there's a guy here in town- he's like a demon arms trader. If he gets set up, we're pretty doomed. He could unleash some major beasties." Buffy winced, remembering Giles looking up the Suvolte demon with her, and reading descriptions of what one could do to a town.

"So why aren't we assembled? Scoobies unite!" Willow cried, sitting forward nervously.

"Because if we play it down, be stealthy Scoobies, we can probably take out the head guy, and get a dozen of these incredibly violent carnage-lovin' demons before they hatch, which will do the world a favor. If we go now, we'll just get some of them, and the rest could pop up anytime, anywhere."

"How'd you find out about all this before it- oh." Willow looked pleased. "We've got a man on the inside." Then she blushed. "I mean, on the inside of the situation. Not the inside of anything else. I mean- Tara! Stop me before I babble!"

"I missed the cut off again. Sorry, Sweetie." Tara whispered sotto voce, rubbing her girlfriend's shoulders.

"Yeah, Spike tipped me off, and Clem told him. So, we've got two- um- helpers." Buffy chose a less worrisome phrase for Willow's sake. "Now, if they could only help us make the dresses look more beautiful and less like swamp water."

"At least we don't have to wear them this weekend." Tara pointed out smilingly.

"What's this weekend?" Dawn came back into the room.

"Valentine's Day." Willow laced her fingers with Tara's.

"Oh? Plans?" Dawn bounded onto the bed.

"Um. Quiet night at home." Tara's eyes sparkled and her lids lowered bashfully. "You and Spike?"

"Same. I guess. I told him I'm not heavy into the Valentine's."

"But whyyyy?" Dawn whinged. "You have a good guy, he loves you, you're serious about him, like really serious."

"Dawn, stop-" Buffy swallowed. She was really serious about Spike. She never wanted to be without him, but at the same time, she didn't go dreaming up rosy futures for them. Just existing together was good enough, all they had to offer was themselves and they were getting it, giving it. "You're right. But we're not into the red hearts and chocolates."

"You love chocolate. And Spike is a romantic. He's very romantic and this is the first Valentine's Day either of you have spent with someone who loves you and doesn't make you miserable or bad."

"So we'll spend it quietly at home. Uh- with movies and popcorn for all of us." Buffy realized Dawn would be there, too. She and Spike could go out for dinner, but that would mean asking one of her other friends to give up their romantic evenings. Giles was the only one without a partner- that she knew of- but it was rude to keep acting like he didn't have a life. Plus, Dawn was trying to fix him up- poor man- last she heard. "We can make it a double feature. We'll pick one, and Spike can pick something. Or, more likely, _you two_ can pick one movie, and I'll pick one."

"Sorry, Buffy, I can't." Dawn shrugged.

"You have a date, Dawnie?" Willow asked excitedly. "He's-um-alive, isn't he?"

"Very. He owns a store in town. British, polishes his glasses when his clerk makes out with our best friend?"

"Giles?"

"I'm covering for Anya and Tara. So everyone can have a nice night."

"B-but after the store closes-"

"I can stay on his couch like I did on New Year's Eve."

"Doesn't he have plans?"

"Are you kidding me? He won't call any of the girls I found for him, and he's my event buddy until he does."

Buffy glanced heavenward. "Is there any point in me trying to talk you into staying home with us?"

"Nope."

"Okay, fine. You go, Spike and I will stay home."

"Good." Dawn hid her smile under a mulish expression._ Stay home alone. That's just what Giles and I want you to do._

"Your feet are freezing!" Buffy yelped when Spike slid in behind her.

"All of me's freezin', Luv. I'm a vamp, it's a cold night an' I been out in it. Had a bloody good run of luck, too." Spike wound his naked body to Buffy's and she giggled and shivered.

"Shh! Shh, stop." She protested.

"I'm not makin' the noise, Luv." He rolled on top of her and sighed at her silken warmth.

"Tara and Willow are in the next room!" She hissed.

"What? Why?"

"The bridesmaids' dresses arrived. Horror turned to commiseration, and then comforting. Then there was ice cream, and 'I Love Lucy' reruns. Sleepiness happened."

"So I have to be quiet?" Spike murmured, nipping at her throat, sliding his cold hands across her breasts, stiffening the already stiff peaks further. She gasped and arched. "_We_ have to be quiet?"

"Tell me about patrol." Buffy rolled away, using her slayer strength and a lot of will power.

"Suvolte corpse turned up. An' about four other demons, torn to shreds."

"Oh, God!"

"Down by reservoir. Sewer entrance. I went and checked it out, but Clem's the one who heard about it. Must have been a big force to take that bastard out."

"Was it the mother one?"

"Split it open to see, but it was the male. Mama got away. That means the last of the eggs aren't collected, but Mrs. Suvolte won't be able to hunt and leave the nest. All comin' to a head."

"Thank you for listening to me." Buffy pulled his head between her breasts and held him tight, rubbing his shoulders. Spike couldn't ever remember her pillowing him like that, with such a gentle ferocity.

"You're welcome. What'd I do?"

"You didn't take the job, you idiot! That could have been you lying dead in some sewer! More dead! Or-dust. Not here, that's the point. I could be like the Mama Demon, waiting for you to come home and you never would." She sniffled wetly into his hair.

"Buffy, Pet, we're fine. Shh. Shh, don't take on like this." Spike soothed, preening inside because he was so obviously loved, and at the same time pained because she was getting all emotional over him. "I'm always gonna come home to you. It's my home, too, now." He grinned at her. "Where else would I go? Everything in the whole world to me is at this address."

"That's not what I meant." She snuffled, but smiled. She knew Spike was trying not to let her get too involved in thinking about scary what ifs.

"But it's a comforting thought, yeah? Never gonna be anywhere but here for you."

Buffy nodded, and sighed, pressing into him, and locking her arms around him more tightly. "Very comforting."

"I could comfort you a bit better, if you'd let me have a little wiggle room." He breathed.

"Wiggling is good." Buffy smiled, and released him. He didn't move far, but positioned himself over her and took her mouth in a possessive, sweet kiss, one hand running through her hair, and the other sliding down her side, ending on her hip.

"Am I warmin' up enough?" Spike nibbled her cheek, teasing her lips and earlobe in turn, tongue flicking all the sensitive places he knew she liked.

"Much less chilly." She whispered, letting her own hands get busy, rubbing up and down his back and shoulders, stroking her heat into him. His mouth bent to her breasts with a purr of contentment, and she pulled her hands to his chest, rubbing in deep circles, kneading the cold flesh back to something warm and life-like.

Spike's soft purr became a soft rumbling growl when her hands found his hardness and clasped it, trapping it between her soft fingers. "Luv- please..."

"Let me warm you up." She whispered against his mouth, denying him entrance to her softer, warmer hollow. He grit his teeth and buried his head in the curve of her neck, stifling groans as talented, hot fingers tantalized him.

It had seemed a long night, and a long few weeks, actually. Having a routine and responsibilities after a few years of basically being a shiftless bastard was a strain on him. The happiest strain he'd ever had, but he still made him constantly make an effort, and constantly think, trying to remember to be "good" in all things, not just love, where it was easy. The upshot being, tonight he felt exhausted and edgy and just wanted to be inside Buffy, where it was simple now. In her body was warmth and love and safety. "You're all the heaven I'll ever see, Luv. D'you know that?"

"Don't say that. There's a place for guys like you. There has to be." She whispered, kneading him harder, taking his cock in one fist now, pumping it, wanting to distract him.

"I just mean, you're my warmth and love and safety." He refused to be distracted for one more minute. "When I'm inside you, with you, and you love me back, well- everything's right." He stopped before he could lapse into purple prose.

"Then get inside." She arched up suddenly, drawing him down with her hand, sheathing him inside in one swift thrust.

There was a loud twin groan of satisfaction.

_He's so big and he always manages to just make it stretch in that good way._

_ Damn, she's so tight and hot. Extra juicy, too._

Another, even louder, double moan rang out as they moved their hips as one, seeking a rhythm they both loved. "We have to be quiet." Buffy panted.

"Forgot, sorry." Spike bit his lip. That was a strain, a big strain, not just being able to let himself express his pleasure at full volume, and being deprived of hearing Buffy's throaty cries, settling instead of gasps and whimpers. He'd do it and never complain, this was the price you pay for having a family, not just being a couple, and he loved being a "family".

"On- Valentine's Day, we have the house to ourselves. Dawn's- staying with Giles." She whispered, a promise in every syllable.

"You're sure you aren't looking for a night on the town, Luv?" He wanted this Valentine's Day to be perfect, or at least, what she really wanted.

"On the town is less loud smoochie making."

"Can you give me a hint about what you'd like?" Spike bit his lip suddenly, hard enough to break the skin, as Buffy turned them onto his back, riding him slowly, but hard, grinding herself against him.

"This!" She moaned in a whisper.

"Granted. But- some gift?"

"No gift. Unless you-"

"Doesn't need to be a gift. In my day it was just coming into fashion, celebrating it, and you gave your lover a token. Something genuinely from the heart, little card, little deed." He smiled up at her lazily. "I think I get Valentine's Day every day."

"You are a really awesome boyfriend." Buffy bent and kissed him. "For knowing what matters."

"See? It's just like that. Got my present already." Spike tangled his hands in her hair, and held her mouth to his for the rest of their slow, passionate love making, not letting any more sounds escape.

Dawn watched her "siblings" over the next few days, worried that they might have had a fight. Which would _not_ work for her plans. Both of them seemed to be avoiding each other, and Spike spent half the time in the basement, while Buffy spent a lot of time in the guest bedroom.

"Are two fighting?" Dawn tearfully and angrily demanded of Spike, the one she knew would give her a straight, non- BS answer.

"What? Me an' Buffy? No! Least, I don't think so." Spike suddenly looked nervous. "Why?"

"You're in the basement, Buffy's in the guest bedroom, you're not talking to each other!"

"We are talkin'! Jus' not now." He shifted uncomfortably and Dawn noticed that the pile of sleeping bags he was on was lumpy.

"What are you hiding?" Dawn dropped to her knees.

"Get out of it, Bit!" Spike warned her off, holding up a hand- pen still between his fingers. "Bloody hell."

"Ah ha! The poet is back."

"Shush! That miserable little wanker is not back. This is written by Spike."

"So why is it taking all of your time? Spike's a totally romantic guy. Are you writing her a long piece?" Dawn sat down closer and tried to pull back the sleeping bags, now able to make out bulges of crumpled paper underneath.

"Oi! It's private." He said in a voice that Dawn knew and respected. It wasn't loud, but it was serious. Her hands went back in her lap. "Spike is romantic. Hell, Bit, all of me is romantic under the rough cut front, an' you know that the best. You an' Buffy. I don't want it to be too long a poem, no. Don't want to smother her, y'know?"

"So why the long delay?"

"Soddin' William keeps fuckin' the thing up. Sorry! Sorry, Bit, language."

"You don't have to do that when Buffy's not around." Dawn laughed gently. "Maybe William has good ideas. After all, you two are the same person."

"Nah, he mucks up love, I don't." Dawn gave him a pop mouthed look. "Okay, okay, I do make a mess of it, but I'm better."

"Why don't you write her something simple? Like an acrostic or a cinquain?"

"Those are for the talentless and school children." Spike heard himself speaking in a poncified voice and looked truly disgusted with himself.

Dawn bit back a retort about the use of the word "talentless". "Well, good luck on your longer piece. The clock is ticking, you know." She squeezed his hand and left, heading up to check on the other love bird.

Once she was gone, Spike yanked back the cover and revealed thirty crumpled pieces of note book paper, and one untouched packet of nice stationary. "Alright. It is for Buffy, anyway. Not like she's the best read girl in the world, too busy savin' it to read. Let's make the soddin' poem somethin' short, simple, and sweet..."

Dawn found the guest bedroom locked, and she tapped on it. "It's just me."

"Hang on!" Buffy's head appeared around the door in a second. "Hi! What's up?"

"Uhhh- I wondered why you were locked in the bedroom, actually."

Buffy looked around furtively, then yanked the door open and pulled Dawn in, shushing her as she gave a startled cry.

"What in the world is with you two and writing!" Dawn cried, when she saw the papers littering the floor. She realized immediately she shouldn't have worded it like that, but Buffy was too distracted to notice.

"Do you remember when I was in Cliffside?"

"Yeah. The sight of the great romance beginning."

"Yeah. I guess it was. No, I think of it as the place where a lot of stuff came out between the the two of us. And you and I had some really good conversations, too. Do you remember-"

"Me telling you to write a letter? Yeah." Dawn surveyed the floor, and saw Buffy's knapsack and a lot of torn up paper littering the floor around the bedside wastepaper basket.

"I never finished it. I was trying to, and he came back to the room before I got to finish it, and he saw all the other letter rejects and he came and found me hanging out by the ice machine, trying to finish one. I still have that last letter, partly done. We agreed, we'd just do a little meaningful something. I thought writing a new letter and stapling the old one to it would be nice." Buffy's voice got fainter. "It'd show...stuff."

"How your relationship changed?" Dawn said helpfully.

"Yeah."

"Did you say 'room'?"

"Huh?"

"Did you say he came back to 'the room'? As in you had one room?"

"I meant to say my room." Buffy said quickly, and snagged a new sheet of paper off the bed, and concentrated on it.

"Oh. Okay." Dawn left after studying her sister for a minute. Poor Buffy and Spike. They'd been torturing themselves more, for longer, than anyone thought. _Oh, well, while they're driving themselves crazy, I can get on with my plan_. Dawn picked up the portable and dialed. "Zebra Leader this is Monkey Leader."

"Dawn, I refuse to speak in pseudo military language." Giles said firmly. "Thank you, come again." His voice was momentarily distant. "And I'm at work."

"Just tell me you got it."

"I got everything on the list. And I paid for part of it, so the rest of the money is back in your account. No- don't argue, that money is for college, and Spike and Buffy worked hard to put it there."

"You're the best."

"Yes, thank you, I know." Giles smiled conceitedly. " Now, let me go. We're swamped. You know what it's like before a holiday. And it'll only be worse tomorrow, with everyone and their maiden aunt coming in to buy tantric rites books and scented aphrodisiac candles and essence of sacred something they read about online."

"It's a good thing you have me to help out, isn't it?" Dawn chuckled.

"I suppose so, yes." He admitted grudgingly, but Dawn could feel him smiling. "Now I'm going to ring off, and I'll collect you at noon tomorrow."

"Bye-ee."

"Oh, dear Lord." Giles sighed and hung up.

"I didn't know you started dating." Anya smiled pleasantly at him as he hung up and immediately had to serve another customer.

"I haven't." Giles frowned. "Twenty one dollars even, thank you, Sir."

"You sure sound like you did. The sage is three dollars dried, four ground." Anya spoke to her own customer.

"When?" Giles smiled and bowed his head as the customer left.

"Now. On the phone."

"Oh, for heaven's sake Anya, that was Dawn!" Giles rolled his eyes.

Anya looked at him in surprise. For the first time in a very long time, she let her business partner have the last word.

"Not another word. Spend the day together, doing nice things. It doesn't have to be dark for it to be romantic, right?" Dawn pulled on her sweat shirt and put her duffle bag by the door.

"But, Bit, you're my girl, too. Valentine's Day isn't just for lovers it's for loved ones." Spike and Buffy were sitting in a half-stupor on the couch. They'd had a long patrol on Friday night- it _would _be Friday the Thirteenth, and there were as many idiot humans looking for a bit of badnesss out last night as there were idiot demons and monsters looking to get staked. Plus, Saturday and Sunday were mandatory sleep in days since Buffy had started back to school. That said, Spike and Buffy were woken shortly before noon by Dawn, saying goodbye and reminding them where she would be. So they had staggered downstairs to be with her before she left.

"That's super sweet, guys, but-"

"But why are you leaving so early?" Buffy whined, pouting, hugging a throw pillow to her chest. "You said we'd have the night alone together, not the whole day. I was going to try to do the sister thing, make those pink cupcakes you used to like when you were little."

"Then you can be glad I'm leaving now, because you'd make a mess." Dawn giggled. "My present is in the fridge, and- and the rest of it's coming. And Giles had to pick me up at noon, because that's his lunch hour and you won't let me walk there alone- yet. So that's why you get the whole afternoon and night together, and stop complaining about it."

"Well, he's not here, yet. Lemme get your prezzie." Spike launched off to the basement and Buffy went upstairs. Dawn sat down with a sigh, and waited for her disheveled siblings to return.

Spike came up first, holding out a scroll of paper tied with shiny red ribbon left over from Christmas. Buffy was next, hands behind her back. "Mine first!" Buffy cried. "Because mine is just something little." She held out a small white box.

"Thanks!" Dawn opened it and then squealed. "These are so cute! Where'd you get them?"

"The campus bookstore. I made use of my ten percent employee discount." Buffy said proudly. Dawn held up the pair of little silver earrings in the shape of kittens.

"You figured these would fix my cat craving until I'm eighteen? So not likely." Dawn hugged her sister anyway, and slid the earrings into her ears, replacing the simple gold studs she wore.

"I should've gone first. If you laugh at me- either of you- I'm gonna go spend the day with Clem watchin' telly an' gettin' sloshed." Spike threatened and handed over the scroll.

"We wouldn't do that." Buffy promised.

"You soddin' would." Spike mumbled.

Dawn looked up at him with glowing eyes as she undid the ribbon. "It's a poem, isn't it? You wrote one for me!"

"Not exactly." Spike grinned, knowing she'd almost said "you wrote a poem for me, too" and caught herself in time. He had to love that girl. "Jus' open the damn thing, put me out of my pain."

Dawn opened it and squealed, giggled, and teared up in quick succession.

"You pack quite a wallop, Spike." Buffy looked on in wonder. "The pen is mightier than the sword, huh?"

"I dunno why she's all emotional gambit girl." Spike chuckled, as Dawn re-read it, still tearing up and giggling alternately.

"Because I love it, idiot!" Dawn hugged him hard and kissed his cheek, passing the paper to Buffy over his shoulder.

_ Bit_

_Bit of sweet, bit of sour_

_Bit of a bitch, if you want the truth_

_Bit of a badass, partner in crime_

_Bit of an angel, bit of the devil inside_

_Sweet bit, annoying bit_

_All the bits make her whole_

_Love the girl- to bits._

"This made you cry?" Buffy bit her lip. She'd never seen a Valentine poem like that. If you could call it a poem, it didn't rhyme.

"Yes!" Dawn snatched it back, but carefully, tenderly rolling it up and re-tying it. "It isn't mushy and gushy. It's- it's _me_."

"Sweet Bit." Spike kissed her forehead, grateful not to be mocked for his writing for the first time in a very long time.

"Love you, too."

The touching scene was broken up by the arrival of Giles and a large bag. "No peeking! Go far, far away!" He ordered, catching sight of Buffy and Spike as Dawn let him in. "I thought you two would still be asleep!"

"I woke them up to say goodbye and they got all clingy." Dawn rolled her eyes. "They had to come down here, act like the loving family."

A year ago, she would have meant that, Buffy realized. Now it was only teasing. Her heart felt amazingly better. "Call me crazy, I wanted to see the people I loved most today." Buffy teased back. "Speaking of which, what's in the bag, Watcher- mine?"

"Your gift, which you may not open until we leave. I'll bring Dawn to the store tomorrow morning, you'll pick her up when you come to train?"

"Do I have to train?" Buffy whined.

"Yes." Giles said simply.

"I don't wanna. Spi-ike."

"I'm with him, Luv. But I'll train with you, if your Rupes will share."

"Oh, Lord, yes please. Train with her all you like." Giles sighed in mock relief.

"Come on, those sex crystals won't sell themselves." Dawn tugged Giles' arm.

"Sex crystals?" Spike cocked an eyebrow.

"Uh- rose quartz. Amethyst. Not- not sex crystals, per say. I'd better go, I've left Anya alone with an innocent populace and a dirty mind. Heaven knows what I'll find when I get back."

"Now, don't open our bag of goodies until later. Be good." Dawn said firmly.

"Yes, Mummy." Spike smirked, and Buffy smiled indulgently as she hugged Dawn and Giles good bye one more time.

As soon as they saw the Beemer peel away, Spike and Buffy lunged for the bag as one. "What do you think it is?" Buffy giggled.

"Can't be anything too exhilarating, it is from the Watcher."

"He's surprising, you know that."

"True, but if he went in on it halfsies with Niblet, it can't be too wild."

"Wait, here's a note on the top!" Buffy unfolded it, snatching it back from Spike, and read it aloud. "We know that you two want to enjoy the simple things together today, mainly each other and some time alone. Here's a starter kit."

"We got your standard chick flicks." Spike pulled out two tapes. "Oh, not so bad really. _Romeo and Juliet_ and _The Princess Bride_."

"You like _The Princess Bride_?"

"How can you not like it? Giants, pirates, Spaniards, sword fighting- true love that brings a man back from the dead- twice. Sounds like the perfect thing for us."

"I love that movie! I love it!" Buffy squealed and reached back in the bag. "Candles."

"Gettin' kinky."

"Oh, shut up, perv. Gourmet popping corn. That goes with the movie."

"_Sonnets from the Portuguese_!" Spike seemed thrilled with the small book he pulled out.

"I didn't know you could speak Portuguese."

"I can- but it's in English. It's- never mind, I'll read it to you later. You'll love it. I wonder if that was Bit or Rupes, or both?"

"Hot cocoa mix, red wine, and bubble bath. Oh, rose petals. Fake, but pretty."

"Those two. I- I never thought Rupes would come around."

"Dawn can be very persuasive."

"And scary. I love that about her."

"I know. And I get why the thing you wrote for her meant so much. It's great to be loved for who you are- all the parts." She blushed, remembering making love to Spike as man, and the demon inside, and him loving her like a normal girl, and loving her fiercely, like a slayer.

"Buffy, Luv-"

He reached for her, but she ducked her head, blushing harder than ever, and pulled out the final thing in the bag. "A CD. Giles made it. Uh-oh."

"It'll be okay. I've seen his music collection. Not bad for a stuffy old fart."

"He plays the guitar you know."

"I do know. He likes to play Mr. Severity, but he's got a wild gleam in his eye if you brass him off just right. You'll have to tell me more about that later. Much later. Not today." Spike moved closer again, and seized her lips before she could move out of range. She pulled back with a nervous laugh.

"Let me see what's on the disc. Oh, this is nice- he's labeled it 'music both of you won't hate'. Ravel's Bolero. Habanera. Stairway to Heaven." Buffy blinked. "Weird."

"Not so. It's eclectic- but it's all going to be good." Spike pulled her to his lap. "I think any soundtrack will fit you an' me, makin' love. You an' me fit together, Luv."

"I know. I know we do." Buffy kissed him, squirmed, and again pulled away.

"Pet?"

"I can't." She looked apologetic.

"You can't?" He repeated slowly. "Can't- celebrate with me?" He looked stung and stunned.

"No! I can celebrate, I want to, I just can't- go 'all the way'. Not right now."

Spike's face cleared. "Not 'well'?"

"My body hates me." Buffy shook her head woefully.

"I thought I smelled-" Spike shut his mouth tightly. Another barrier, another thing they didn't quite talk about. For about four days a month, they pretended he wasn't a vampire and that he couldn't smell blood. In the past, when not under the same roof, she'd simply slept at home, he hadn't asked why. But now, living together, during the last month they simply pretended that he and Buffy always slept curled up together without their hands and other parts caressing and kneading, making love almost every day, at least once if not more.

"I am so, so sorry. I ruined tonight."

"You ruined nothin'." Spike said firmly. "Do you think I'd love you less because your body and a certain day of the year aren't in perfect agreement? One says yes, the other no? Silly Slayer." He felt her relax, leaning into him, cuddled close. Which only made him harder, not at all the image he wanted to indulge just now. He would have to play this very carefully. "Sweetheart..."

"Mmmhmm?" Her voice was tight and high. She could feel him hardening and she wanted to feel that hardness in herself. She felt sore and achey inside, and Spike making love to her always equalled pain relief, emotional and physical. And it was their first Valentine's Day together. And it was thoroughly not okay. It was wrong and it would only tease his demon and her blood- near him- on him... She made a little whimper. That shouldn't make her feel confused, it should make her feel repulsed. And instead- just a little puzzled and a lot of needy.

"D'you wanna open presents now?" Spike choked out the most innocuous thing he could think of. He smelled her wetness, and blood mingling with it, and yet she clung to him tighter. She didn't make a move, she didn't push him away. _We're both not sure if this is okay. Okay with ourselves or each other. So, maybe, if I can get her to just relax, and trust me a bit, trust herself a bit, we can do everything we ever wanted on this little festival of the heart. _

"Sure. Yeah." Buffy pushed off of him carefully. "I'm gonna go get a shower first, okay?"

"I'll come with you." Spike replied, not thinking. Until it was too late, of course.

"I- uh-" Buffy stammered.

"We can turn out the lights, put on the candles we got. You can trust me not to- do things you don't want." He whispered, rising with her.

"Spike, it isn't that I don't trust you."

"Good. Then please let me prove that I can make you happy. My little Valentine."

"It's personal. You know, private. It's a girls only thing."

"I'm stubborn." He warned, fighting down his demon's impulse to say something dark and nasty and scare her off, and William's impulse to be a complete gentleman and give in. "Is it something you really honestly don't want me around for? 'Cause you usually sound more sure an' maybe a bit angry. Now you just sound- hesitant."

"Get the candles and give me five minutes." Buffy left the room, giving him a nervous little grin.

Spike smoked a quick cigarette and investigated the fridge. Bit's gift was in there, huh? He rummaged and found a plastic wrapped plate that said "breakfast in bed" and had fruit and cheese and some chocolate squares on it, and on the bottom shelf, a bigger casserole with a taped on note that read "350 degrees for thirty minutes". He lifted the lid. Hamburger Helper, already made and just needing to be heated up. Not fancy, but hell, it couldn't be messed up and it would be edible. Plus, the girl was a saint for doing this for them. He stubbed out his smoke and gathered the breakfast tray and the two candles Dawn and Rupert had sent over.

Upstairs, Buffy scrubbed herself clean and trembled in some sort of sexual wig out._ I want him. No, you don't. You're not allowed to want him now. I want him when he's a dead, soulless demon, but I can't want him when I have a small, natural body function? I hate my brain. I hate society. I kinda like Valentine's Day now though. Who'd have thought it, we both love The Princess Bride..._

"May I come in, Pet?" Spike sounded equally wigged, but sexy.

How does he do that? Buffy mused. "C-come in." Once the door opened, the lights went out. She relaxed. Then she dimly saw two golden flickers and the candles were lit. They gave off a sensual, fragrant rose scent, and Buffy's lusty feelings doubled.

Spike's hand on the shower curtain was met with a death grip on his wrist. "Whoa. Whoa, Luv, I can back up an' get out, no need for a fracture."

"If you say anything that makes me feel bad- I know you wouldn't. I just have to warn you. I- I want to be close to you today, spend time together. If you make me feel weird because I- because I have my period- I can't handle it."

"Tell me what to say, or not say. Tell me what to do, or not to do. I don't want to make you feel anything but loved, Precious." Spike eased her fingers from his wrist.

"But I don't know."

"Well, I don't, either. You- you're my first human lover, remember? The others- this was no issue." He heaved a sigh. "Bugger this. Can I just come in an' treat you like you're the most beautiful girl in the world an' the love of my unlife?"

"Yeah. Yeah, let's try that." Buffy let him in, smiling shakily.

Spike used all his willpower. He didn't push. But God, he wanted to. Instead he soaped her shoulders and back, stomach and breasts, and stayed away from the moist flesh between her legs. He kissed her breathless, he teased her nipples until she cried out, and he found himself engulfed in her hot little mouth, being forced to burst inside her circled lips before he could even say "wait".

"All clean?" Buffy looked up at his spent, shuddering form.

"Yeah." He wheezed. "But- I didn't- you didn't cum. I did. Not fair."

"It's not about that. Sometimes it's a pleasure to give pleasure, you taught me that. That a person doesn't have to do it because they expect payback."

"You actually listened to me. It's a miracle." Spike laughed, and helped her up. "Maybe you'll let me return the favor, because I want to? Not because I have to, just because I love you?"

"M-maybe." Buffy smiled. "Come on, I'm hungry."

"I have breakfast waiting for you." Spike wrapped a towel around her as she stepped out.

"You do?"

"Courtesy of Niblet."

"Happy Valentine's Day." Dawn plunked a candy bar down on the cash register in front of Giles.

"Oh, a Curly Wurly." Giles hugged her with one arm. "You are a sweetie."

"No,_ that's_ a sweetie." Dawn quipped.

"Yes, quite. _You_ are impossible." He corrected her, and smiled ruefully.

"Your fault. If you'd stop being uptight guy and call someone, you could get a nice, fancy gift, go out for a nice dinner..."

"And probably be completely and utterly bored." Giles sighed. "The women I fancy don't fancy the demons and monsters in my life, unless of course they already know about them, which means they're already in my life and we're not suitable."

"I lost you halfway through, Giles." Dawn patted his arm. "Don't worry. She's out there someplace. And now I know what to look for. Someone cool with the creepies. Anything else?"

"Brunettes." Anya's voice startled them both as she returned from her lunch break, her arms teeming with bags from a local lingerie store. "He prefers brunettes and long legs."

"Anya!" Giles sputtered, blushing furiously.

"I call it like I see it." Anya shrugged.

"What do you call this one?" Buffy snuggled deeper into Spike's arms as they lay on the bed, both in comfy sweats, still nibbling lazily on orange segments and grapes.

"I dunno. It's Brahms. Know that. Pretty in a background way."

"We should get up. We napped long enough."

"But it's so nice here." Spike stretched, and wrapped his arms around her more tightly. "Init nice, Luv?" He put an orange segment between his lips and pressed to hers, watching her laugh and then nibble her way into a kiss.

"It is nice." His hand stroked caressingly on her tummy, covered by a thin white tank top. She shifted slightly. "We should really get up?"

"Are you hurtin' inside?" Spike asked worriedly.

"No."_ No, your hand feels so good, and I can't imagine you using them where it hurts. Using other parts of you to ease any little tension, any little ache. _

"You lyin' to me?"

"Yes. Just cramps."

"Does it help if I rub?"

"Spike, stop." She pushed his hand off her stomach as he started pressing harder. He tilted his head, puzzled, lips pursing, and then relaxing. "No one-" She paused, searching for a concise way to explain. "Not that I have tons to go on, but I thought guys steered far away from girls when they're all icky and crampy."

"I can if I'm annoyin' you. I thought I should try to make it better. I told you- when you came back- I'd help you. I only ever want to help you. Love you."

Buffy took his hand and placed it on the flat of her stomach, the narrow spread of it between her pelvic bones. "Hurts there. Not much. Just achey."

Spike rubbed, and she relaxed. The more she relaxed, the limper she got, sprawling against him, stretching, arching contentedly, not sexually.

"Rrrrmmmm." Buffy let out a long drawn noise as she drifted back to sleep.

"First time I ever made you purr." Spike pressed his lips to her ear. " 'Bout time, seein' as you make me do it all the time."

Buffy leaned her head back and found his mouth, kissing him heartily, tongue playing with his, catching his upper lip with her teeth and worrying it gently. A low growling purr echoed from inside his throat. "Curl up with me and nap a little longer... Tiger."

"Love to... Kitten."

"Dawn, I refuse to buy you a kitten. Take your pay and do stop going on about how cute Pepper is." Giles locked the door of the shop and took Dawn's arm, steering her to the car quickly, not liking to be in the darkness of the alley longer than he needed to.

"But I did it so Anya and Tara could have a night off, I don't want you to pay me."

"Nonetheless, you're being paid."

"But-"

"Don't whine and I'll take you for ice cream."

"Shutting up."

"Thank God."

"What's after ice cream?"

"We could order a pizza and watch a movie?"

"A romantic comedy, or is that too sad and pitiful for two single people on Valentine's Day?"

"I'd much prefer something lighter. Hm. Have you ever seen _Black Adder_?"

"That sounds less light, and kind of dark, serial killer-y." Dawn looked at him askance.

"I promise it isn't. It's hilarious, witty, dark- snarky. Spike would like it, but I won't tell him I have it."

"That's mean."

"Watch it with me, and I'll let you borrow the collection to take home to him tomorrow."

"If it gets too scary, I'm going to jump on your lap or kick that ancient television you have into the next apartment."

"I promise it isn't scary. You watched Monty Python with Spike over the summer, didn't you?"

"Uh-huh."

"You liked that?"

"Hilarious."

"You'll like this."

"I didn't believe you when you told me, but you do like that movie." Buffy turned off the _Princess Bride_ as the ending credits rolled.

"Of course I liked it! It makes me wanna go bug Rupes for a sword. I think the chip'd kill me, but it would be fun up until the brain numbing pain." Spike chuckled. "Alright. We've used the candles, the popcorn, the hot cocoa, one of the movies, and the CD. Shall we read a bit of the book, eat dinner, or would you like the little gift I have for you?"

"Gifts, please!" Buffy smiled, kicking her bare feet happily, toes tapping his as they lay curled on the couch together. "I'll get yours. I- I didn't spend a lot, okay?"

"Neither did I. A tenner. Doesn't mean I don't love you a million pounds worth, I jus' thought I'd get a lecture on commercialism and the bollockin' up of a holiday."

"Exactly. That, and we don't have a million pounds. I mean dollars. British words are infecting my brain."

"Good. Maybe you'll start talkin' better."

Spike went down to the basement, and Buffy went up to the guest room again, and returned to the living room a few minutes later, bearing gifts.

"Here, Pet." Spike thrust a small box into Buffy's hand, a sudden twinge of nerves about giving her the small piece he had wrote wiped out all the ceremony he had in mind. He figured he'd start with this store bought gift, it was a sure bet, get his confidence back up.

"Oh yummm!" Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck as she unwrapped a small box of Swiss chocolates. "I love you. And the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach. Well, if there's chocolate involved."

"_Now_ you tell me!" Spike cried, and opened the lid, popping a piece in her mouth.

"I lied. It's only part of the way. You did good without the chocolate." She smiled, closing her eyes in bliss. "Okay, we have to put those far away. I could eat the whole thing in ten minutes without supervision." Spike laughed and Buffy handed him a flat package.

"Hmm. Not a book. Feels like a frame..."

"Open it! You're one of those annoying people who tries to guess."

"You do the same thing, I've seen you!" He countered, and tore open the plain red wrapping. Inside was a photo of them, one from Cliffside, on the set that looked like a beach. "I thought you said we could never show these to anyone." He whispered, lovingly tracing her face through the glass.

"The other ones-no. They're not exactly 'uncompromising'."

"That wasn't why you said it." He remained riveted on the portrait.

"No. You're right. I said it because we were a secret. We're not now. So put it wherever you want."

Spike looked up at her, lips quirked in a half smile. "I'd need more copies than this Luv. 'Cause I'd want one in every room of the house."

That led to another round of steamy kisses, but Spike's confidence soared. "Alright. Here we go. This is the token of my esteem. The keepsake for this day." Spike pulled out a piece of stationary, rolled and tied with ribbon, identical to Dawn's.

"I don't know what to say. No one ever wrote me anything before." Buffy bit her lip and felt her eyes fill, without even reading it.

"Don't get your hopes up too high. It isn't much. It's just- words. I hope you see what lies behind them. That's the real gift, yeah?"

Buffy nodded, throat getting a painful lump in it and preventing her speech. She unrolled the paper and read silently, a soft smile playing on her lips.

_For my Valentine,_

_Because you love me,_

_Unbelievable as that is,_

_Finer feelings I thought long gone have risen_

_Full to the surface, making me a better man in death than I was in life, for_

_You, and only you, my one true love._

_With all of my heart, on this first Valentine's Day together,_

_Spike, William S. Blood_

"It makes my name down the side." Buffy said automatically, when she could speak.

"Yeah, it does." Spike waited for some more critical statement than a simple observation of the form.

"I thought you said you weren't a good poet?" She read it for the fourth time.

"I don't think I am, much."

"But you put so much, in just five lines! It's - it's like magic. And it's only about me. It's a poem about me." She hugged it to her chest. "I feel special. No, like- like _really _special, like the girls in the olden days who had poems written to them, or about them, or like the women who were the models for the famous artists. Special, like I'm part of something beautiful."

"You_ are_ something beautiful." He smiled softly. Then, trying not to give in completely and tear up because she was looking at his writing, _his writing_, like it was pure gold, he asked gruffly "You like it, Pet?"

"I love it! I love it so much, I love it so much I never want to let it go. We need a frame! I want to carry it in my wallet and put a copy next to my bed and on the fridge. I'm something special to you. And you're special to me so this- this just makes me all with the happy." She gave up and laughed, shedding a s couple renegade tears. "I'm sorry. It's hormones. And the poem. And everything. Here." Buffy held out one more present to him, a sealed envelope. "My writing isn't as good as yours."

"You wrote me somethin'?" Spike didn't care if it was utter bloody rubbish, Buffy took time to write for him. That was a miracle of change comin' from the girl who couldn't stand to look at him for five minutes without wantin' to crush his nose in, as well as a miracle because writing meant you had to _feel _something, and less than six months ago that girl was cold and dead inside. "I already know it's amazing." Spike tore open the envelope carefully and pulled out two sheets of paper. The first was on hotel stationary, stapled to a finer, white piece of paper. Both had Buffy's handwriting on them.

"The one on top is from Cliffside. After we had the fight. And the mirror, the lamp, and the jeans..." Buffy winced at the memory of the day.

Spike winced as well. He remembered finding all the crumpled pieces of letters Buffy had begun but not finished. He'd been so afraid she was trying to write a suicide note, afraid she'd given up and decided to just get herself back to heaven, before it occurred to him that Buffy wouldn't take the time to make several drafts, she'd just go do it. He'd wondered if she ever finished a letter to him. As he read the first page, he knew she never had.

_Spike,_

_I'm sorry about the way I acted. I made a mistake- well a lot of them. I mean treating you that way. Even if what we did was wrong, you didn't do it to hurt me, and I hurt you. Sometimes I just-_

With a slightly teasing smile, he reached out and rubbed her knee. "I'll be framing this. Possibly send it to the Council of Wankers, or at the very least showing Rupes. I have a written apology from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It'll be worth millions at auction some day." Seeing her start to look hurt, he leaned over and kissed her. "I'm jokin'. I'm keeping this forever. It's proof you cared for me, even before you loved me. It's a treasure."

"You think _that's_ a treasure, read the next page." Buffy urged, calming herself. Okay, so he'd teased her. It hadn't been mean teasing, and he was sincere in his appreciation of even just a few badly written lines.

Spike flipped the page and read eagerly, hie eyes rapidly betraying his emotion.

_Dear Spike,_

_ Look at what a difference a few months can make! I still suck at writing though, but I'm going to try. (Remember we promised to try? Look how good I'm doing!) Look at the old letter I never finished. Now read this one. _

_ I'm sorry about the way I acted last year. Thank you for staying and not leaving, you stubborn, wonderful guy. I did make mistakes, and you kept forgiving them. I tried to treat you better, and you let me mess up. This week you said the way I treat you makes you feel warm, safe, and loved, like my heaven. I guess we came a long way, huh?_

_ I'm glad we don't hurt each other anymore. I hope you know that if I ever mess up and hurt you, I didn't mean to. I'm not the same girl you saw in Cliffside. I'm a better person, a more loving, whole person, because of you. _

_ I told you I'm not good with the writing thing. I just want to tell you since it's Valentine's Day, that I love you. I love you and I can't live without you and you make me happy and I love being with you and having you in my life and Dawn's life, and everything is just better with you, even if technically it shouldn't be because, you know- vampire/slayer badness in combination. But we're not like that. _

_ I hate writing. But now you can keep this letter and look at how I just spewed out a really long sentence about me loving you. So I hope that you like it._

_ I love you so much. I didn't think I would ever love anyone again, and now I love someone better than I have ever loved anything in my life. You're a special guy, Spike. Happy Valentine's Day._

_Love, Buffy_

"Beautiful." He managed to say hoarsely. "Buffy- thank you. I love it." He whispered simply, folding it hastily before any tears could mar the surface. "I don't even have to ask if you mean it. You put your heart in it. Sounds like you talk. It was real."

Buffy didn't even have time to squeak before he picked her up in a bear hug, holding her until she felt herself losing oxygen. "You're welcome." She finally gasped. He put her down and beamed at her, and Buffy was amazed to see tears shining in the corners of his eyes. Because of her words, her gift. "I love you. And I did mean it."

"I'm the luckiest man in the universe." Spike sighed contentedly. "That's my finish, Luv, I just got the chocs and the verse."

"I'm finished, too." Buffy said hastily. Spike nudged the box of chocolates aside and pointed to one more folded piece of paper bearing his name. "Oh. You don't need that anymore."

"Did I do somethin' wrong, I don't get my gift?" Spike asked, looking hurt and puzzled.

"No... you did something right. You can open it if you want." She blushingly handed him a quickly written note she'd designed after they'd gotten home from patrol, while he was already falling asleep and she'd realized her body was going to interfere with her romantic plans.

"A gift certificate for one free night of romance and smoochies."

"I thought you'd like to have a raincheck for tonight." Buffy murmured.

"But I don't get it now?"

"I don't- I don't think you're going to need it now." She whispered in a low voice, eyes shying from his. "Unless you want it?"

"Can we go upstairs instead? I'll take it with me. You decide once we get up there if I need it." Spike offered her his hands and pulled her up beside him.

"Give me a couple minutes and I'll be in." Buffy squeezed his hand.

"I'll take care of the room, you take care of you." Spike assured. She went to the bathroom, he went to the linen closet. He covered the bed in dark colored towels, and he lit candles, and started their new music collection again. Then he got into bed and thought deep calming thoughts and had a forceful struggle with his demon side about how he was not invited out unless Buffy specifically asked for him.

"Hi." Buffy came into the room, wrapped in a towel. Spike could smell the lingering scent of soapy water and knew she'd been cleaning herself up.

"Come here, Luv." Spike opened his arms and watched her drop the towel. "If it makes you feel better, Pet, you look the same to me. I don't even notice what you're frettin' over."

"Your vampy senses aren't tingling or something?" She asked suspiciously.

"Nope." He swallowed. "Not the hungry ones. The _sexual _ones are very 'tingly'."

"It's not a big deal, is it?"

"No, of course not. We've got towels and a shower next door. We can get as messy as you want and I won't mind. Okay? Not that it will be."

"It shouldn't be." Buffy shivered when his hand touched her stomach and then moved lower, rubbing her achey, crampy muscles. "I cleaned up."

"You look gorgeous. I love you. Don't think I'd ever love you less, even if you were a complete mess."

"I thought it would make it hard for your vamp side to stay chill during this."

"It might be. But only because you always feel so good, smell so good, taste so..." He trailed off, jaw locking.

"Spike-"

"Shhh. Just let me love you, an' you tell me if you want me to stop."

"I don't want you to stop. Doesn't that make me bad?" She bit her lip, confessing to him. Spike was the least judgmental person she knew, and she realized she felt safe talking about this with him.

"I doubt it. Does it make you bad to love me, as what I am?"

"No."

"Then why should it make me bad to love you, as what you are? A healthy, beautiful girl?"

"Uhhh, society hang ups?"

"Society hang ups can get knotted. I'm talkin' about us." He licked his lips slowly. "I could make love to you every day, please you just like I always do, each day, if you just let me, if you don't stop an' judge yourself. If we jus' accept we're in love, completely, fully, unashamedly in love."

"There's no room for the hang ups in our lives." She whispered, fingers teasing his hair as he hovered over her.

"That's right. But I do want to do it right. So you just tell me what feels good, and I'll do it."

"Will you answer me one thing, honestly?" Buffy asked after a long kiss.

"I'll answer you every thing honestly, no limit."

"Does your demon want out because he can smell blood?"

"He wants out because he loves you. And, well, yeah, the blood is very faint, but he'd love to taste it. If he was invited. Otherwise he's staying out."

"Okay." Buffy bit her lip. _Be brave, be safe, be warm, be loved. Nothing would happen to you here, in Spike's arms._ "I invite him to come out whenever he wants. He's part of you. I love all of you, so I don't want him to feel like he has to be formally asked for. Just- be yourself."

Spike's heart soared inside._ Just be myself. Been so long since I could not worry about who I show the world, William, Spike, or the demon. _"Sounds lovely, Pet." He smiled and eased himself down to kiss her and caress her. When his hands traveled south, she tensed. "None of that. Give me all of you, Luv."

Buffy let her legs unlock. His fingers stayed light and stroking, up from her belly and down between her legs, not probing inside or parting her lips. "Mmmmm." She let out a relaxed moan after a few moments of kissing and petting.

"Pain going?"

"Pain gone." She smiled. Her own hand reached down to stroke and fondle his hardness.

"Time to get the pleasure back to the forefront." His head bowed and latched onto her breast as his finger gently eased inside her. "God, you're extra hot, extra wet. Are you extra sensitive, Luv?"

"I- I don't know." She breathed out shakily. His finger began a slow, steady thrusting and she writhed. "Ohhh. Oh, yes, extra everything." She panted.

Spike grinned and turned to the other breast, slipping a second finger inside Buffy's hot, red tinged canal. He slowly, surely pumped in and out until he felt her tremble. He moved his hand down, found a towel- and then reconsidered. "Watch me." He breathed. "Don't think too hard, just feel." He slid the fingers that had been inside her into his mouth and sucked and licked, vamping and unvamping as he did so. "You made me deliriously happy just then. Because I had two of my most favorite tastes in one go. You like making me happy, just like I want to make you happy, right, Luv?"

"Uh-huh." Buffy just stared, truly not able to think, only to feel. And she felt hot, watching that pale, perfect god of a man licking her juice off his fingers, his pleasure so intense it made him release his primal side. She didn't care if the juice was tainted, it was hers, and he craved it. She craved him. "More?"

"More what?" He was having a hard time focusing. His brain had gone into a tailspin when he tasted sweet slayer blood and arousal combined.

"Put yourself inside me." She hissed, clutching his shoulders.

"Oh, God, yes please." He moved slowly, hazily, watching her with dilated eyes. So lithe and golden, opening- opening, he couldn't resist and used his fingers again, hard and fast on her nub and inside her, making her squeal as a fast orgasm attacked her. Truly open now- wet and slick and slightly bloody, the perfect place for a vampire's cock. He slid home, and held her to himself, letting her adjust if she needed to. "It's still me, okay?" He whispered. "I'm jus' not thinkin' too clear, you feel so good, so hot an' wet around me."

"I trust you." She breathed. "Make it feel good. Make the muscles let go."

"Oh, God, yes, Pet, I'll take such good care of you, my sweet sexy valentine." He pistoned inside her, cupping her cheeks to hold her still and tilt her up. "Nice an' deep? Does it make the nasty pains go away?"

"Yessss." She writhed and bucked. "Slow and hard?"

"Oh, Luv, for as long as you want me." He snarled, doing as she requested, thrusting in hard, watching her head roll back, thrust her throat up. The demon surfaced smoothly and stared at her bared skin. What the hell, he knew he couldn't bite, didn't mean he wouldn't give it attention.

_His demon's out. Oh God, his demon is licking and nuzzling, nipping my neck while he takes me. And I don't care. _Buffy kissed his brow ridges and his slightly pinched looking nose, then his mouth. The tongue that thrust inside her lips was strong and forceful, but loving, matching the other appendage working inside her lower down.

"I want you to cum for me, over an' over. Relax all those muscles until you're limp, Luv." Spike encouraged, taking her a little harder. "Hurt?" He asked when she whimpered softly.

"No. Nooo, not at all." She gasped.

"It's still just us, isn't it, Pet?" Spike asked, reverting to his human face. She nodded. "Thank you for trustin' me, Sweetheart. With all of you, all the time."

"I love you. I love you so much." She arched and dug her fingers into his lower back. "More. Harder, please, Baby?"

"You sure?"

"Uh-huh."

He complied, harder, and harder, making her cum with a wail and a gush. He smelt fresh blood and fresh juice and he wanted more. He didn't stop to let her come down, just kept ravaging her, constantly murmuring his love in her ear, constantly asking if she felt good as he nipped and licked and sucked at her sweating pulse point.

"It feels so good, so good, Spike, you have to let go, Let go with me this time, I need you to cum with me!" She groaned desperately.

He had to, She wanted him to mix with her, she want them to be one and not have anything separating them anymore. She didn't know if it was some first slayer mojo but she was suddenly all about the bodily fluids, and too high on pleasure to be grossed out by it. He had to mix with her.

His face shifted as he felt her spasm on him and dig her nails into his forearm, breaking the skin. He roared and spilled inside her, pumping hard, almost sobbing in release, release of both man and demon, completely at ease for the first time in her presence. She hadn't cared who was in control or what he did, as long as it was in love. "So happy, Pet." He whispered, collapsing on top of her.

"Agreed." She sighed. She shifted, feeling wet and sticky- but oddly not feeling "dirty". Feeling loved and connected was a much healthier perspective, she decided. _Shame bad. Love good. Oh, great, I'm back to "fire bad, tree pretty" status. He orgasmed my brainpan loose. _She giggled softly and Spike looked up at her, sated and sleepily smiling.

"Oh? Share the joke?'

"My brain came loose. I'm all 'Love good, shame bad'."

"You didn't feel shamed, did you, Pet?" He would cry. He wold break down an' bawl if he had just shamed her an' been too busy gettin' off to notice it.

"Nope. No shame here. All about the love. I'm not dirty, what we did was not wrong. So not bad, not wrong, not dirty. I am kinda wet and sticky though."

"We'll go get washed up. There was bubble bath someplace."

She swallowed and paused, hands on his neck as he languidly began to move off of her. "Clean me up however you like. Bubble bath is not required." She panted, a ball of tension in her stomach at how provocative she sounded, even to herself.

"Really?" His eyes lit up.

"Really." She whispered hoarsely.

He paused above her, easing out gently, comforting her with his hand as they stuck together inside for a second. "I still want a bubble bath."

"Oh. That's fine." She blushed feeling like she might need to revise her whole "not dirty" ideals.

"I just want to take you up on your offer first. But then I am going to luxuriate you within an inch of your life in a nice big bubbly bath, 'kay, Slayer?"

"Okay." Buffy giggled. Spike licked his lips and then kissed her, kissing his way down to her swollen center. "Spike?"

"Hmm?" He sounded muffled, for good reason.

"You know how we don't exactly believe in the whole crass commercialism part of Valentine's Day?"

"Yes, Luv?" Spike lapped at her very gently, as if the wrong touch would shatter her, and their rapidly strengthening bond.

"Can we have Valentine's Day whenever we want then?"

"I don't think we can commandeer the whole holiday, Sweetlet." He looked up at her, blue eyes only visible over her soft thatch of curls. "How about you just be my Valentine everyday for the rest of our lives instead?"

" I like that. And you can be my Valentine, too. You are a smart man." She said emphatically as she lied back, hands gently brushing his hair, twirling it idly. "Oohh. And a talented man as well!" She suddenly gripped his hair much harder.

"Hmm. Hmm. That I am." He smirked as he chuckled, and then resumed his activities.


	5. Chapter 5

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives.___

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Dlillith21, and Good for the Soul _

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part V

"Rest up, okay?" Buffy kissed Spike goodbye as he sat, staring blearily at his cup of blood. "Honey?"

Spike reached across the table and took Buffy's half finished cup of coffee and poured it it into his dark red breakfast. He took a hearty swig and then looked at her more alertly. "You have a good day, Precious."

"Promise me. That you're going to rest."

"Promise made, promise kept." He sighed and stretched painfully. He'd been out most of the night, and had finally tracked the passage of the eggs from a dead female Suvolte to a disused meat locker on the north side of town. "I don't know whatsamatter with me, Pet. Used to go all night, sleep in the day. I'm all fuddled up."

"It's just because you're trying to be awake with Dawn and me. You're doing the good 'man of the family' thing." She kissed him again, holding her lips to his forehead for a long moment. "I love you. I love you for that, for not leaving."

"I told you. Everything I want is right here." He stood and hugged her tightly. "Thunderbirds are go for tonight, then?"

"Yep. Dawn's going to stay at the shop with Anya."

"Thought it'd be Tara?" Spike tilted his head to the side.

"Tara's Willow's anchor, if we need a spell, she has to be there." Buffy reminded him. It was part of Willow's plan to keep from abusing her power, not to perform most spells alone, certainly not big ones that made Willow tap into the darker powers she had played with and could still dredge up if she tried hard enough.

"True. An' Anya's good with the magics herself. She'd be able to hold her own."

"Dawn's good at self-protection spells now. She showed me one. It made her hair glow, but it works. I threw a book at her and it bounced off." Buffy laughed. Spike laughed and leaned in close to her, kissing her lingeringly. "Stop." Buffy breathed.

"But you're still my Valentine. My Buffy. I get to kiss you as much as I'd like."

"Valentine or not, I have class and then work. Glorious, glorious Monday."

"It's Tuesday, Pet."

"Whatever." Buffy shrugged, and slid into her coat and picked up her keys from the hall table. "Oh,that reminds me. I registered at the DMV. My test is the Monday after Xander and Anya's wedding." She gave him a pout. "I still think you cheated."

"I didn't! The cards were the cards- an' you didn't have a lot left to bet with after I got you down to your skin."

"I thought you'd ask for sex." She giggled.

"I don't want to win that. I like it given." He said seriously.

"I know." She nodded, smiling softly. "And it always is."

"So, makin' you agree to some lessons from your friendly neighborhood vamp and then sign up for a test doesn't seem so bad. Be dead useful."

"You'd know all about that." She teased.

"You'd know a little yourself." He kidded, knowing that she was okay with him making light jokes about them both having experienced death, although no one else would ever be allowed to. He had earned the right, truly understood, offered companionship, awareness of what it was like, and even a chance to go back to some sort of heavenly realm if she chose.

"Alright, alright, I'll stop whining about it. I'll start my lessons, but tomorrow night, after we get the eggs taken care of and the dealer on his way." Buffy bowed to the inevitable.

"That's my girl. You get on now, I'm headin' back to bed." He kissed her once more, and headed upstairs.

Buffy pulled her Campus Bookstore Staff badge on its colorful lanyard over her neck, and put her book bag in one of the staff lockers. "Hey, Melody." Buffy waved to her shift manager, who waved back, staggering under a box. "Oh, hey, let me get that!"

"No, it's gotta weigh-" Melody stopped and stared as Buffy tucked the box easily under one arm, "-a good fifty pounds. Wow."

"I-uh- work out." Buffy quickly made a show of carrying it with both hands, and quickly walked to the shelves indicated by the label on the cardboard.

Melody stared after her. "I gotta get to the gym..."

Buffy spent her shift taking the overstocked books down to be stored in the college warehouse. She left the used texts on the shelf, as procedure dictated. As she worked, she hummed tunelessly, but happily.

She liked this job. It wasn't mindless, but it was routine. It wasn't a lot of sitting still, but she didn't have to run like she did all night. Lastly, it changed from day to day. Sometimes she worked in the stockroom, sometimes in the shelves, and a lot of time at the register- which was good for her brain, she finally decided, once she stopped hating the credit card reader and the exchange and return policies.

Buffy looked at the clock and decided she had time to finish one last box before heading home. Melody was always impressed with the amount of work she did, so she wouldn't mind if she left early- if she'd done a lot. Buffy decided to use a little slayer speed to hurry the job along, get home to Dawn and Spike a few minutes sooner.

It was the speed that made her focus on nothing but the books. Pick them up, stack them in, repeat, quickly as possible. She was so focused that his face on the other side of the shelf came as a complete surprise to her. His face was tanner, leaner, scarred, just once, but noticeably, forehead to past his thin lips. She dropped the last book into the box, fingers limp.

"You." She gasped.

"Hey." Riley Finn replied, with an almost smile.

Buffy's brain finally came back online. "Riley?" She couldn't believe it was him. _It can't be him, the men in my life, they leave, they don't come back... I don't want this one back. I_ don't._ If they don't stay when the going gets tough, they're not tough enough. I've _got_ someone strong enough. I don't want Riley anymore, and I don't want him here._

"Sorry to just drop in on you like this, Buffy." He began.

"It's you." _Great. Brain not back online after all._

"It's me."

"You're here." _Are you always this monosyllabic? Apparently not, look, you just thought up a big college-y word. Let it come out of your head, dopey._

"I know."

"And ... were you always this tall?" _Wow. That's brilliant. But he is just leering at me from over the top of the shelves. Who does that? He always wanted to seem bigger than me, didn't he?_

Riley leaned in with an impatient sigh. "Look, this isn't the way I wanted it. But something's come up, something big. We don't have much time. You understand?"

She began to nod, then stopped. "No, actually. Not at all." _What in the world is he doing here?_

"Right. I should have known, anticipated. You're working."

"My shift is done." Buffy closed the box of books, and briskly walked away, putting it in the pile of other boxes, and automatically retrieving her goods from the locker. "Night, Mel!"

"Night, Buffy! See you tomorrow!"

" 'Kay!" In a haze, Buffy walked back to Riley, looking at him standing there. Like he'd never left. No- not true. He was all big, and hulking, black on black. Until he looked at her. Then there was this touch of familiar sweetness in his eyes.

"Uh. So. Hi?" Buffy looked at him, eyes clearing, stunned expression slowly leaving.

"I want to explain, I just don't have time. I've been up for 48 hours straight tracking something bad, and now it's come to Sunnydale. I know that I'm putting you on the spot, showing up like this, but ... but you know, here we are. I need the best. I need you, Buffy. Can you help me?"

"With a demon? Hunting a demon?" _See? He didn't come back for you. He came back for a nasty. You were smart for once, not letting your stupid brain second guess your heart. _

"Yeah, there's this- wait." He pulled a small black flip screen device out of his belt, and looked at it. "Dammit!" He shook his head. "Not a good message." He closed the screen.

"What?" Buffy asked, curious in spite of herself.

"The trail, protein markers, just got faint. We had such a strong signal until the last hour, when we got into town..."

"Riley- what do you want? Spell it out." Buffy walked out of the shop, briskly.

"A Suvolte demon. We fought dozens in Paraguay, but two or three pairs made it up, through Mexico, into California." He looked deadly earnest, secretive. "They're almost impossible to kill, carnage demons. My team, only ten of us, managed to take them out, one at a time of course. We followed it here, protein signatures leading us. But it's gotten faint..."

"Oh. Um. Sorry- but it's dead."

"What is?"

"The Suvolte. It died last night. The last one." Buffy said apologetically. "I guess you don't need my help then?" That was kind of a relief.

"I might. We need to find the nest. They were nesting pairs, male and female. Suvoltes are breeders, they lay five or six eggs at a time, every few months. They have to, because they'll fight each other to the death when they hatch- and anything else in their way, and if they didn't have so many, none would survive to adulthood."

Hm. I might be able to help you with that." Buffy said, mentally considering the kind of firepower Riley was packing. She and the Scoobies were planning on "taking out the nest" ,in a way, tonight. They had to be able to take out all the eggs fast, plus they'd be heavily guarded. Extra bodies were good bodies- maybe. "Are you here with Initiative guys?"

"No, just- just me and my lieutenant and our squad. Four of us. That's all that are left, anyway." He whispered.

Buffy's heart lurched for him, sympathy melting away dislike. At least somewhat. "Why don't you walk with me, and I'll listen to what you want me to do." She pressed her fingertips gently to his arm.

"Why don't I drive you home, and you tell me what you know?" He countered, smiling slightly. He pushed another small device, and a car beeped nearby. Buffy followed the sound and saw a huge, black SUV. "If you don't mind, we could actually really use a safe house. Ex-Initiative guys have a lot of grudges held against them around here."

"No wonder." Buffy muttered, then paused. "I have to make sure it's okay. My family isn't going to get hurt by you and your 'squad', right?"

"Of course not!" Riley looked hurt.

Swear it. Say, I do so solemnly promise any of Buffy's friends and family will be safe and treated with respect and thoughtfulness."

"Buffy, I-"

"Say. It." Buffy demanded.

"All of Buffy's friends and family will be safe and respected, I promise." Riley crossed his heart, rolling his eyes.

"Okay. Now it's up to them. Do you have a phone thingy somewhere on your James Bond belt?"

"Yes." He laughed and handed it to her.

She dialed, watching him carefully. "Hi, Dawnie. I'm on my way home. Yeah, I will. Uh- I ran into someone at work, and I need to make sure it's okay to bring him home. Riley. Yes,_ that_ Riley. Dawn! Mouth!"

Riley winced at the apparent reaction of Buffy's sister. He hoped her mother would be more agreeable. Joyce had always liked him.

"Could you put him on? Dawn, just let me talk to him, I can hear him shouting, anyway." Buffy sighed. Riley's ears perked up.

_Him? There's someone new? Well- not like I mind, but I never thought anybody'd be able to handle her, that she'd let someone in. No ring. Hm. Maybe he's just starting out, the poor guy. He's about to have one hell of a ride..._

"Hi Honey. Yeah. Soldier Boy." Buffy laughed once and then caught herself, apology in her eyes. Riley's eyes showed no concern for the remark, only puzzlement. Someone had called him that before... "He came to me for help. The Suvolte. I know we have it all taken care of! But extra bodies-what? Oh, he's alone right now, but he has three people with him in town." Buffy held up one finger, indicating she needed another minute. "It'll be a joint decision, I promise. But if he can help, I say we let him. This guy sounds nasty and ruthless, and I love you so much, you know how I worry about you coming home to me..." She had lowered her voice, but Riley could still hear it.

It hurt, but just a touch. He was over her, happy with someone new, and of course, she deserved the same. He'd just thought she was incapable of love, and he berated himself for being wrong. _Maybe if I'd have stayed. Maybe it would be me she loved. Or maybe she's just trying to make me jealous. Nah. Not her. She didn't always understand stuff, but she wasn't cruel on purpose. Unless I really actually hurt her when I left. _ Riley didn't know whether to feel worry, sorrow, or dread. Her next words took all introspection away from him, however.

"Ten minutes, and if you don't like it, he goes. I promise, Honey. I'll be home soon. I will be. Okay, love you, Spike." She handed the phone back with a sigh. "Sorry it took so long."

Riley stared, jaw hanging slightly.

"What?" Buffy pushed the phone into his hand.

"Did you just say_ Spike_?"

Spike paced, worried, and chain smoked. Dawn paced like his shadow, just behind, wishing she was old enough to smoke, even though personally she thought it was disgusting. Besides, she didn't want to risk cancer, but right now, it looked like the thing to do if you were teeming with indignation and anger- and, okay, fear. "She's not going to go off with him or anything. She loves you." Dawn said in a high, tense voice.

"I know." Spike said sharply. Damn Niblet and how well she knew him.

"And Buffy'd die before she let them take you away. And so would I."

"Don't you do anything stupid." Was his response to that.

"I want to call Giles." Giles made her feel calmer. She preferred Spike in a comforting, big brother way, but when he was the focal point of her worry, she didn't want to bother him with it, didn't want to make him put on his brave face for her. He always did that. And it always worked. It wasn't always fair to him, though.

"Let's wait until the idiot gets here." He puffed and looked out the window. _That stupid bastard. Leavin' her. Leavin' Joyce, an' Dawn. Cheating on her. Chippin' me! _Rage was building up inside him.

"She picked you. Not him." Dawn whispered, reassuring herself.

"No, he left._ Then_ she picked me." He threw the cigarette away and sat heavily on the window sill, head in his hands.

"Yeah, I said Spike." Buffy climbed into the SUV. Part of her brain screamed _Shame, guilt, feel small, feel guilty and cower! Here was your chance to apple pie and a happy life, you let it get away._ Buffy shook herself. _I wanted love, happy sparkage. I wanted someone who'd never leave, even if he really, really should. He didn't even run when I wasn't there for him to stick around for... _ "You remember him." She said stiffly.

"Yeah. I remember Hostile Seventeen."

"You call him that again and you can't come in." Buffy said sternly.

"We- we are talking about Spike, the _vampire_?" _He wanted her. He's the one who was sniffing around her. I can't believe she'd ever go for someone as twisted and evil as him._

"Don't play the vamp card, Riley. Or I'll remind you about the second to last time I saw you." She said quietly.

"So much for avoiding unpleasantness." He laughed ruefully.

"Small talk was never my strength." She laughed, equally rueful.

"I'm- I'm sorry about that. That's my fault. I just showed up out of nowhere, and this mission is really urgent. Sometime I'd like to sit down, if we ever get half a second, and tell you about the last year or so." Riley looked at her as she sat, unmoved. "The stories I bet we both have." He lead.

"Yeah. You die?"

"Uh- obviously, not quite." He raised his eyebrows.

"Then I'm gonna win." She smirked. "Turn here. Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." He obeyed and turned. "My lieutenant's vehicle is tracer paired with this one. They'll be here soon."

"You're responsible for them." Buffy warned.

"We're not going to hurt anyone. Well, anyone we shouldn't." He clarified. She opened the door, but he laid a hand on her arm. No matter what had happened between them, or in his absence, it was good to see her, and he knew there was fault enough for both of them. They'd moved on, and he needed her help. He tried to be tactful, mature. "Buffy- I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. I-"

"I came after you that night. I saw you in the helicopter. I just couldn't get there fast enough." Buffy suddenly blurted. She wanted to make things absolutely clear to him.

He remained unclear, and a stab of old longing and pain flared through him. Then jealous anger, disbelief. Tact and maturity could come back later. "So you picked Spike as the consolation prize?"

Buffy reared back as though stung. "No. That wasn't what I was trying to explain at all! You left. And now you came back. I know it's just for a demon. It isn't for me. Spike never left. I love him. If you're trying anything- to get to him... If this is some messed up lie about Suvoltes and you're really here to get back one vampire that you left, a guy with a piece of Initiative evidence in his head so that the government doesn't have any little reminders of their screw ups- you go through _me._ Not just me. All of us. And we're so much more powerful now."

Riley couldn't form words, just angrily shake his head, finally denying, "No! This isn't about the Initiative! I'm US Army, Special Forces. We serve, we defend, we keep the peace. We don't play God."

"Good. Then come inside."

Spike watched them enter, a sense of dread slowly being replaced by a sense of trust. _She tries so bloody hard. I told her I'd never leave, never give up on her. Gotta show her I don't, I won't. Even if- even if inside it scares the bloody hell out of me that she's walkin' up to our house with him. Like maybe this isn't about to be "our house" anymore..._

"Hi. I'm home." Buffy said, asininely. Her lover and sister were staring at her from just beyond the door, they could plainly see she was home. "Dawn, look, it's Riley."

"Hi Kid." Riley said warmly, and held open his arms, a genuine smile on his face. "Look at you. You must've grown a foot in half in the last year!"

"You weren't there for it. You stayed away, then. Stay away from me now." Dawn hissed, backing away, standing closer to Spike.

"Dawnie!" Buffy blushed for her manners.

"Captain Cardboard. What misfortune brings you here?" Spike remained in place, close to Dawn, with his arms crossed and a sneer on his face.

"How unpleasant to see you, too, Spike." Riley commented with an equally unimpressed voice, a less impressive sneer on his face.

Buffy shook her head and hung up her bag. "Everyone can go sit in the living room, okay?" She sighed. Riley and Dawn moved, Spike didn't.

"Buffy?" He murmured, face calm. _Don't show any worry, if not for her sake, if not for his own, for Bit. _She was watching him, seeing if he faltered, or if he was snarking like he was angry or putting on his brave face. So he stayed calm, cool.

"I missed you so much today!" Buffy inserted herself into his instantly opened arms.

"Oh, Luv. Luv, I missed you, too." Spike breathed needlessly into her hair, relief flooding over him. "I didn't doubt you, Pet. I want you to know that. But it wasn't a fun sight, seein' you walk up with him again. Used to tear my heart inside out." He swallowed.

"I threatened him the whole way up the walk." She laughed. "About exactly what would happen if he tried to touch you."

"She did." Riley called, letting them know he overheard Buffy's end of the exchange. "You're safe. A guest in her house is-"

"_Our_ house." Dawn interjected. "Spike is not a guest, _you're_ the guest."

"What, Dawnie?" Riley was sure he didn't understand.

"Don't call me Dawnie. I said, this is our house. The three of us live together, they're my guardians. This is my family."

"You live- together?" Riley looked stunned. "I- okay, I didn't expect that."

"You always were an unimaginative sort." Spike smirked. "Reckon that's why she came to me." Buffy gave him a slightly miffed look, face flushed. "Although it's more likely she jus' wanted a faithful bloke."

"A soulless stalker. Real faithful. More like obsessed."

Dawn was on her feet, startling all three of the other occupants. "More like brave! More like devoted! Buffy- I don't- I don't want-" She suddenly bit down on her lip, turned and fled, racing up the stairs.

"Bloody hell! Niblet!" Spike tore after her, easily catching up to her, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. She shook him off, and slid into her room.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I said." Riley looked furious with himself.

"Don't worry about it." Buffy slumped to the couch. "Baby, is dinner ready?" She asked Spike, suddenly feeling very tired and hungry and in major need of energy boosting.

"Yeah, Pet. Stew's on the stove, go help yourself. Bit! Bit, lemme in, Sweets." Spike stayed by her door.

"She- she really likes Spike, huh?"

"We both do. She was right when she said he was our family. That this is his house, too." Buffy made no effort to move from the sofa, emotional weight winning out over a growling stomach.

"Is this serious? Is this- like marriage?"

"It's for life." Buffy said quietly. "Actually- it's kinda for death, too."

"What, you're gonna let him turn you?" Riley rose, angrily, hand immediately at his belt, seeking a weapon. Promise or not, duty was first. Save human lives, even if they didn't want to be saved.

"Pillock." Spike spat from upstairs. He tapped the door once, and then strode down the stairs. "No, she doesn't mean that. She means I love her. She means I didn't stop, didn't leave when she-" Spike swallowed hard and didn't finish. He finally snarled, "Get him gone. Get him gone _now_, Luv."

"Spike, he didn't know-"

"When you what? What don't I know?" Riley demanded.

"You don't know sod all, you weren't fuckin' here!" Spike shouted.

"Stoppit! Don't do this, I hate- I hate when you do this! Act like I'm not able to talk for myself!" Buffy stood between them.

Spike stepped back, stunned. "I- I'm sorry."

"It isn't you." Buffy turned to Riley, painfully aware of anger, feeling it hurt her newly reawakened emotions and burn her once peaceful soul. "It's you, Riley, acting like nothing changed." She whispered fiercely. "You don't know anything. Didn't you wonder why Mom isn't here?" She brushed her hand across her eyes angrily.

"Is she at work? She's not back in the hospital, is she?" Riley reached for her arm out of compassionate habit.

"She died, Riley. A few months before me."

"Joyce died? Before y-you?" Riley was stunned into a stammer.

"I told you we were stronger than ever." Buffy laughed hollowly. "Willow's magic is strong enough to force a soul out of heaven, back into a body. Slayers never rest."

"Buffy, let me get him out, please, Luv. Don't let him make you cry." Spike pulled her into his arms, glaring at Riley.

"I- I had no idea. God, I'm so sorry. Buffy, please, I had no idea, I'm so, so sorry."

"Spike tried to save us. He almost died in the attempt, and I- well I did. Every night after, he saved me." She stroked his pale face with sudden tenderness, eyes clearing their grief, but filling with love. "In his heart, and mind, he saved me."

"Saved you a million times." Spike breathed, returning the loving gesture, anyone else in the room suddenly of no consequence.

"Until one day- he brought me back to life. Not just alive, but living."

Riley couldn't bear the sight of them kissing so fervently, and he turned, sick and confused. Quietly, he walked to the front window, and sighed when a smaller, lighter black transport pulled up. _Thank God. Sam's here. _His heart lightened instantly. Now _there _was his kind of woman. Pure of heart, strong, beautiful, brave, and completely human. That girl may not have been all the fantastic agony of "the one", but she was the marrying kind, the living with kind. He turned to announce her- saw Spike and Buffy still making love with just their mouths, and decided to keep quiet after all.

Dawn heard the shouts and the tears and she was decisive in her actions. She slipped to the guest room and picked up the second handset to the portable phone. She dialed with a sick twist in her stomach. The phone rang once, twice, three-

"Good evening, the Magic-"

"Giles!"

"Dawn? Dawn, what is it?" Giles lowered his voice, anxiety clouding his features.

"Come over, please?"

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now. I know we're meeting there later. But- but I need you now."

"What's going on? Never mind. I'm coming." Giles shook his head, and was already sliding into his jacket.

"Thanks." Dawn smiled gratefully and forced her shoulders back as she clicked the call to an end. _No time to be a baby. Buffy's the one who should hate his guts. She must think he really needs our help if we're working with him._ Dawn splashed some cold water on her face in the bathroom sink, and practiced looking calm and collected. _I can't believe I totally just went hormonal teen in front of Riley. Right when Buffy and Spike need me. And then I called Giles! Crap. Crapcrapcrap!_

Dawn hurried to the guest room, and called the store again.

"Magic Box, your one stop place to shop for all your occult-"

"Anya! Is Giles still there?"

"No, he left, just a minute ago, triple speedy. He was heading over to your house. Is anything wrong? Is it anything that's likely to end up necessitating substituting a bridesmaid?"

"No! I mean, I don't think so. Anya... Riley Finn showed up." Dawn looked worriedly over her shoulder.

"No way! Tara! Get over here!"

"No! Shh, Anya! I don't- I don't know what's going on, but it's not fun here. It's not gossip time."

"No, it's bad news time. He just shows up, after abandoning her? Great idea for vengeance happy women- which I'm not, and Buffy's not- but still... he must need help or he has a death wish. Or he finally realized he was an idiot and he wants another chance."

"Buffy's over him." Dawn said, hand gripping the phone more tightly.

"Well, duh! She has Spike. Those two are more in love than anyone. Well, except me and Xander, of course."

Trust Anya to derail. "I gotta go. Don't spread this around, I don't know what Buffy's going to do. I'm all for kicking him out."

"If he needs help, Buffy'll help him. She's noble like that."

"I know." _And too much nobility makes you sacrifice, and too much sacrifice makes you tired. And too much tired makes you want to sleep- and never get up. _Dawn shivered, suddenly glad again that she'd had an immature moment and that Giles was on his way over. "Thanks, Anya. See you soon."

"Uh- can I get the door?" Riley asked the couple who were standing stock still, unmoving except for lips and hands kneading gently through hair. He really couldn't put it off any longer.

"I'll get it." Spike left Buffy reluctantly, and roughly brushed past Riley, a warning zing hitting him inside, but he ignored it. "You lot here for the Captain America wannabe? Come to take him off our hands?" Spike threw open the door to reveal an attractive, capable looking brunette in matching black ops wear, flanked by two Hispanic men. All three of them reached for their belts when Spike made his less than hospitable greeting.

"Vampire."

"I prefer to think of myself as Spike, but yeah, alright. Me, vampire, you, humans. Come in, take this fathead out of here." He jerked his head towards Riley.

"Sam, Paul, Louie, this is- Spike. He's a friend of Buffy's."

"Really." Sam entered the house cautiously, and moved to Riley's side, still flanked by the other two, one short and broad, muscled like a squat prizefighter, the other tall and lean, bearing a scar similar to Riley's. "Agent Finn, I need to talk to you. We've canvassed the locals at the bar you suggested and-"

Oh, bugger! You've been down to Willy's haven't you? Did you hurt anyone?'

"You didn't meet anyone named Clem, did you?" Buffy asked anxiously.

"Clem? What's wrong with Clem?" Dawn pounded down the stairs. "Oh. Um. Hi?"

She waved to the three newcomers.

"Riley, I need to talk to you. Now." The woman pulled him out onto the porch.

Dawn, Buffy, and Spike stared at the ones they assumed were Paul and Louie. "Do you guys want soup?" Dawn asked nervously.

"No, thank you, ma'am." They replied as one.

"Oh bloody hell. At ease!" No one moved. Spike threw up his hands and then dug into his pocket, fishing for a cigarette. "Look, jus' tell me if you damaged anyone at this bar?"

Paul and Louie exchanged a look. "Define 'damage'."

"Will everyone be okay, not hurting too much tomorrow?" Buffy demanded.

"Probably."

"You're a demon sympathizer?" The taller one spoke coldly.

Buffy's jaw dropped. "I'm the SLAYER!"

"What's that?"

"RILEY! GET BACK IN HERE!" Buffy lost her temper. Not only did her world get flipped neatly on its back before they had a huge, dangerous mission, but these goons insulted her, Riley was oblivious, and Dawn had wigged. And no one was eating anything, and for some odd reason that was pissing her off _almost_ as much as the fact that these uniformed guys thought they could do her job, her birthright, and never even bother to find out about her.

"I don't think so, Buffy." Riley said grimly. "I'm sorry to have to do this-" Riley pulled out a short metal object from his belt and looked past Buffy, straight at Spike.

"NO!" Dawn screamed and Buffy kicked- and met nothing. Riley was down on his back and nothing had touched him. Or at least- nothing from her.

"What the bloody hell is this?" Giles snarled, holding Riley to the ground with his knee on his chest.

"Let him up, Sir." Samantha eased a gun from its holster on her shoulder.

"No! What the hell is going- Riley? Riley!" Giles looked at the face of the man he was pinning.

"Hi, Mr. Giles." Riley wheezed.

"Tell her to put down the gun." Buffy shoved Dawn behind her.

"This is all out of hand." Riley sat up as Giles loosened his hold. "My fault, I should have explained. Buffy- the Suvoltes were killed and their eggs were taken by a demon trader. Selling one egg per country is like the equivalent of having a small nuclear arms plant! According to Sam's new "informants" in Sunnydale, the trader's been seen constantly with a vampire who goes by the name of Spike."

The room paused, skipped a beat, four hostile faces versing four incredulous ones.

"Yeah. So?' Buffy pressed.

"What more do you need!" Riley cried. "Spike's doing a big deal on the demon black market!"

"Look, mate, d'you know how we found where the eggs are bein' kept? Me. Bein' an ambiguously evil sort of bloke, I can go wherever the hell I want in this town. Follow the baddies, fight with the goodies. An' look, Xena Warrior Wannabe, you put that gun away, or chip or no chip I'm tossin your black kevlar ass offa my porch!" Spike shouted, walking up to Sam, standing nose to nose with her.

"Don't speak to my wife like that." Riley rose to his feet with a belligerent growl.

"Would someone _please_ explain what is going on?" Giles demanded.

"I'll handle it." Dawn volunteered quickly.

"Your _wife_?" Buffy squeaked.

"We have a demon deal to stop." Spike shouted loudly over the sudden pile of voices that were surrounding them. "Can we get this show on the road? Who's in, who's out- who's leavin' before I get irritable?" He fixed Finn with a glare, and Buffy wrapped her hands around his arm.

"Stew?" Dawn offered more firmly than she had at first.

Riley, Sam, Paul, and Louise exchanged a glance. "Why not?" Sam said, and dropped her holster onto the hall table. Giles turned to the still open front door, beeped his convertible's remote, and sighed as he pulled the door closed.

The table was crowded and disjointed conversations were circling.

"I shouldn't eat this. Vampire germs." Riley sniped.

"Not so proud when we were swappin' germs on a bottle of Jack, mourning love-or lack thereof." Spike shrugged.

"You got what you wanted. I guess you're proud of yourself. You always wanted to have her, I saw the way you watched us."

"This is nothin' to do with want, you bastard. I lost her. She died, she was gone. I loved her, an' I lost her. She came back to me, broken and dead inside. Now she's better. That's_ love_. It isn't _want_." Spike refused to look at Riley again, and Spike's heartfelt ferocity silenced any comments Riley wanted to make.

"I acted like a baby. I'm sorry I dragged you over here for nothing." Dawn finished her explanation.

"Four heavily armed demon hunters making you uncomfortable is not babyish." Giles patted Dawn's arm. "And I rushed over because I care about you. A-and Buffy, of course."

"And Spike?"

"Let's not push this, shall we?"

"I'm glad you don't think I acted like a dumb teenager."

"I'm afraid I can't say I see you as a teenager anymore, Dear." Giles smiled complacently. "You're just Dawn now."

"Just Dawn?" A sudden glow was prompted by his words, and she smiled confidently at him, tossing her glossy brown hair back over her shoulders.

"Yes. Just Dawn. A bloody pain in the arse."

"I knew it was too good to be true." She giggled. "A real compliment from Giles."

"I compliment all of you, often. Why- just last week I told you I liked your new haircut."

"Except that I haven't had a haircut since before Christmas."

"Ahh."

"For a Watcher, you slack on observation, man."

"Excuse me, we don't want to interrupt-" The shortest commando interjected apologetically. "But, could you tell us what spices are in this stew? Louie said it's cayenne, but I say it's curry."

"It's neither. Burba weed." Dawn smiled, relieved that she now knew which soldier was which.

"You're like a cross between Buddha and Santa Claus." Sam looked in open admiration at Buffy.

"Fat and male?" Buffy blinked, offended.

"Larger than life. All Riley ever talked about for the first few months I knew him. I never thought I'd be sitting in your house."

"This must be awkward then." Buffy laughed nervously. Under the table, she locked hands with Spike.

"Yeah. But- no. He took a long time to get over you, but he did. And you moved on."

"Maybe. But I don't think it was quite the same process." Buffy poked at her hearty concoction of beef, potatoes, vegetables, and stringy, spicy stuff she knew was burba weed.

"A broken heart is a broken heart." Sam said gently but pointedly.

"A shattered heart that wasn't meant to beat anymore is a little more complicated to fix, thanks." Buffy felt her inner-bitch rear it's ugly head. And she realized she wanted to go with the feeling. "It's getting much darker. If we wait too long, we'll miss the big bad. We're going to the Magic Box to meet up with the others, and then we'll walk."

"Or we could take the cars?" Sam offered, feeling a momentary amazement at Buffy's statement fading enough to find her voice.

Spike and Buffy exchanged a look. "Okay, we'll take the cars. You guys go in yours, we'll go in ours." Buffy said.

"Right, then." Spike stood and headed off to the weapons chest. "Let's get going."

Chairs were pushed back and Dawn immediately started gathering up the dishes, feeling like she had to do something as she wasn't suiting up for battle. Giles came alongside her and helped her carry them before she dropped them all, trying to take them all at once. "Don't let Anya bully the customers." Giles smiled at her.

"I won't. Don't get killed, okay?"

"I'll endeavor to do my best."

"Not even a concussion this time? You're really smart, but if you keep getting bonked on the head, you're going to end up like Buffy." Dawn joked to ease the worry she felt.

"Heaven forbid." He leaned over and brushed her cheek with his thumb, looking intently at her. "We'll be fine. I'm more worried about Riley than this demon dealer."

Riley caught Buffy's arm as she was about to get in the passenger seat of the Jeep. "Are you sure he's clean?"

"He showers every day." Buffy tugged her elbow free with a mulish expression.

"So you're not sure? Is that why you're making a joke?"

"No. I'm sure he's on our side, because he earned my trust. Something you failed to do." Buffy looked away, up at the darkening sky. "Or something you lost, I'm not sure."

"He's not involved? Because if he is-"

"You have a wife, Riley. She seems nice and from the little I got to see, you both fit together, the smiles, the looks, the little touches across the tabletop. Don't look for an excuse to take away what fits for me."

Spike was behind the door suddenly, shutting it firmly, making sure Buffy's fingers were out of the way. "We need to go. We know where they are, but I don't know when buyers are comin'." He looked at Riley, blowing a long plume of smoke in his face. "Go with your missus, before she thinks you still have feelings for your old flame."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Spike?" Riley remarked with a snide sneer.

"To think I got Buffy, an' you didn't? Sorry, chum, already happened. To think you still care an' it eats at you- that'd be_ delicious_." He licked his teeth in a cold smile. "But it doesn't matter what you feel anymore, Soldier Boy." Spike turned on his heel, still speaking. "It's what _she _feels." Spike took his place beside Buffy in the car and waited for Dawn to climb in the back before pulling away with a mocking salute.

_Author's Note:_

_As you might have noticed, my updates have slowed to a trickle, the problem with being insanely busy and writing three stories at once. So I'm planning on writing shorter chapters but updating more often. If you'd like to cast your vote for longer chapters less frequently, please let me know, otherwise, shorter chapters it shall be._

_Sincerely,_

_Sweetprincipale_


	6. Chapter 6

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives.___

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Dlillith21, and Good for the Soul _

_Graphic, bloody violence. Sorry, It needed to happen, but I promise it's short._

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part VI

Xander, Anya, Tara, and Willow were sitting around the large table in the Magic Box, finishing a pizza when Dawn swished through the door, followed closely by Giles and Buffy holding a hissing argument, and Spike, walking with his hand on Buffy's back, but entering the building sideways, as if he needed to watch his back.

He did. Xander stood up enthusiastically as a group entered behind Spike. "Riley! They told me you came back!"

"Xander!" Riley waved and moved quickly around Spike. "Good to see you, man!"

"Good to see you, too!" Xander walked up to him, his expression changing from a broad smile to a dark frown with a suddenness that surprised even him. "Jerk!" Xander's fist drew back and flashed forward before anyone could even blink. "I told her to come to you! You couldn't even wait five extra minutes? You don't call when Joyce dies, you didn't call when Buffy died! Don't tell me you didn't know, you guys have the town wired! You could have checked in once in awhile, you know this is a Hellmouth. Plus- you leave, there goes my shot at being the only guy in the group! No offense, Giles."

"Uh-" Riley flushed and looked from his wife to Buffy for help.

"The only guy? What am I?" Spike griped.

"A vampire! A male, but c'mon- I wanted a guy to hang out with. That doesn't have an allergic reaction to crosses and sunlight." Xander became focused again. "That doesn't matter. I thought it'd be great when you came back. I actually talked myself into thinking I'd be happy to see you, and you'd stay, make Buffy realize that not all men run away. Or if they do, they come back to make it right." He shook his head in disgust. "Spike- evil, soulless, monster_ Spike_, is the better man than you."

Silence filled the air. "Um. I agree." Anya spoke up.

"Me, too." Dawn said icily.

"Well, I'm touched." Spike pressed a falsely fluttering hand to his chest.

"I don't think Xander was asking for a poll." Willow said hurriedly. "Hi, Riley."

"Hi, Willow. Tara, nice to see you."

"-final!" Buffy and Giles' argument ended.

"Buff. Please. Tell us what's happening." Xander pleaded with an unnaturally tight smile on his face.

"Riley, Sam, Paul, and Louie are tracking Suvoltes." Buffy began.

"Oh, you can leave now." Anya piped up. "We killed the last one. Well- I don't mean we, as in us, but-"

"We still need the eggs that they laid." Riley interjected. He was still smarting from Xander's punch, even though it wasn't incredibly powerful to him, and from the sting of his words. He'd always thought Xander would be on his side. But he should have remembered. Buffy was the "Slayer", of course she was treated like she could do no wrong. "I asked Buffy for help getting the eggs- only it turns out that you guys already know all about it." He gave Spike a suspicious look.

"I'm not defendin' myself again. B'lieve me or don't." Spike shrugged.

"We're all helping. We'll destroy the eggs, get the ringleader and any of his little helper vamps left undead, and then we sleep." Buffy said firmly, interrupting what was about to become an ugly argument. "Giles- weapons?"

"Come with me." He motioned to the back room with a weary sigh. The Scooby gang moved, the operatives didn't.

"We have our own weaponry, thank you, Sir." Sam gave him a sincere smile. Giles did not return it. He was incensed. He hadn't loved or hated Riley when he dated Buffy over a year ago. He knew Buffy was in the fight of her life and finding out about herself as a slayer, a daughter, a sister, all at once. He had known there was culpability on both sides when Riley left, but he had never dreamed he'd casually waltz back in with a wife and a mission in tow. What if Buffy hadn't recovered from her resurrection? What if Spike's love and their acceptance of her choices hadn't happened first? Shove her face in the slop of a broken life, the pillock.

But if he was honest, what had really scared him was walking up the steps and seeing a man with some kind of weapon drawn, pointing into the house. He didn't know if it was aimed at Dawn or Buffy, or even Spike, but he had run like he hadn't run in years to yank him to the floor. No one could take Buffy away from them again. And Buffy couldn't stand to lose anyone else. "Buffy, for the last time, we can handle this on our own!" Giles slammed the lid of a chest open and started handing out weapons.

"What part of 'no more arguing, this is final', didn't you get?" Buffy demanded.

"All of it, I suppose! I don't like working with him. He had a weapon drawn on Spike, and his wife pulled a gun on me!"

"A gun?" Anya yelped.

"His wife?" Willow and Tara screeched.

"He was trying to kill Spike?" Xander looked both worried and curious. "If he'd just done that last year..."

"Shut up, it isn't funny." Dawn kicked at Xander's shins but stopped herself. They were going to get into a huge fight and they needed to be able bodied.

"It was a misunderstanding on many levels, really fast." Buffy groaned.

"Don't defend him! He was about to come in and take your lover away from you. Break your heart. Break Dawn's heart! He's well-intentioned but he still views the world as black and white. He may see flashes of gray, but that isn't enough here!" Giles slammed a sword down so hard that it shattered the tip and left a gouge in the wooden lid. When he looked up, he saw a cadre of stunned faces. He was breathing hard, and he didn't feel like himself. He had no calm in him. "What if you'd tried to protect one of us? You'd be gone again. You aren't bulletproof."

"Giles..."

"No. I understand your reasoning. The more force we muster, the more likely we all are to get out without major injury."

"I don't know what to do. I- it just seems like a good idea. They have combat training and we- well, we do too. But some of us spend a lot of time unconscious in the middle of it."

"The deal will be done with if we don't move. Let 'em come, Buffy knows what she's doin'. " Spike said softly. He didn't trust himself to say more. Buffy nodded, shouldered a bag of chosen items, and went out, Willow and Tara with her, hissing all the way about Riley and his "wife". He smiled as he heard Willow assuring Buffy that she'd be willing to hate Sam and be a total bitch, and Tara backing her up, saying she wasn't too good at being bitchy, but she'd try really hard, as it honored the code of the former girlfriend. "Show's on the road then." Spike's pockets were full. He prepared to turn to Dawn and hug her for luck- or in case of the worst, but Giles' fingers tightened on his arm as the steely eyed man stepped over to him.

"If Buffy- if anything happens to her, Spike, I swear I will-" Giles looked into the stormy blue eyes and paused in his threat. "I will know that you did everything you could." He changed at the last moment, shoulders falling.

Spike's jaw worked briefly, and he nodded. "Won't be around to tell me, though, Watcher. If something happened to my girl, it'd only be because it came through me."

Dawn flew into Spike's arms, then Giles'. "Don't get hurt, okay?" She begged them both.

"Be home in time for Late Night, Bit." Spike said, and kissed her forehead before leaving the back room.

"Do keep Anya out of trouble. And stay out of the spell books." Giles teased.

Dawn didn't let go of his arm. "That- that's what you'd tell a teenager. I'm just Dawn, remember, Giles?"

"I do indeed know that. But it's what I'd tell my friend. That, and that I'll see her soon." Giles corrected softly.

"And- and I'd tell you to be careful, because I- I wouldn't be okay if you aren't okay." Dawn said awkwardly. A flicker of worry and realization leapt into both of their eyes. "Uh. You should go."

"Y-yes, I should go." Giles nodded hurriedly, and walked into yet another battle. _It's bloody terrible going into the fray and worrying about someone you love going with you. It's twice as damnable worrying about someone left behind at the same time._

"This is the place." Spike led them on foot towards a warehouse at the end of the wharf. This one was actually, quite literally, at the end of the wharf. It had massive subsidence and one corner seemed to be heading into the water. Aside from that, the place was completely pitch black.

"This better not be a-"

"Say one more word, Riley, and I'll punch you again." Xander spat. Then he leaned up to Buffy. "We're sure this isn't a trap, right?" He whispered softly as possible. She rolled her eyes and he grinned. "It _is _Spike. I have to check."

"Shh. You wanna be someone's dinner, keep talkin' an' trampin' in the great big regulation jackboots you have on."

"Your footwear isn't too dainty, Vamp." Paul countered.

"But I know how to move without making a sound. Thought you lot studied stealth." Spike smiled nastily. "Didn't pass, did you?"

"Snarking counts as talking." Tara whispered, a gentle hand on Spike's elbow as she reached around Buffy.

"Right you are." He shut his mouth, and motioned them around the back. "Tunnel. Here."

"Why can't we go in the front? Or at least, aboveground?" Willow whispered, wrinkling her nose.

" 'Cause if they're smart, they're keepin' underground." Spike picked up the grate easily, proof that it had been used recently.

"They need to keep the eggs where it's cold. Otherwise- hatching happens." Riley explained. His team was already pulling out their rappelling equipment. "Can I give anyone a lift?" He offered, looking at Willow and Tara.

"We're good. Xan, Giles." Willow stuck out her hand and Tara did the same. "Fluto." Tara and Willow whispered, and gently floated the four of them down.

"That's wicked cool." Louie looked fascinated. From the bottom of the dark pit-like opening, he watched Willow and Tara conjure up small floating lights while Giles and Xander distributed four small flashlights. "Wow."

"Soldier, mind on the mission." Sam said sharply. "Buffy? Wanna ride?"

"No thanks." Buffy jumped down the hole, and landed, flexing her knees and straightening without so much as a pained look. "Why can't evil geniuses ever invest in air freshners?" She griped as the dank air surrounded her.

"That must be forty feet down." Sam blinked.

"That's my Slayer." Spike grinned. "Vamps do it with more flare, if you ask me." With a smug smirk and a swish of black leather, he was down, and peering up. "An' we don't need the light." He taunted.

"I really hate that guy." Riley muttered. "Okay. In we go."

"It's gonna get bad, fast." Spike cautioned once all of them were on the ground.

"Why?" Willow squeaked.

" 'Cause they can sense heartbeats if they're vamps." Spike reminded them.

"Plan?" Xander asked for a reminder.

"Willow and Tara, you work the protection angle. Giles and Xander, work on the guards. Riley, you and your team, take guards and buyers. Spike and I are going after the big guy and the eggs."

"Now, hang on. The Sulvolte is our mission. We should be involved in destroying the eggs." Paul demanded.

"Could you take out the guards first?" Giles asked, not very patiently. "Because if we waste time arguing over who does what,_ nothing_ is going to get done!" He hissed.

"Guys?" Xander said urgently.

"Just a minute. We were tracking this for months before you were." Sam argued with the Watcher.

"Guys!" Xander and Willow exclaimed.

"Madam, I have been tracking demons for twenty years, thank you so bloody much for not knowing what you're getting into, or you're getting into it with! The Slayer is the one who -"

"I think the messy part is here now." Spike casually lit up a cigarette. In the light of his flame, a trio of hulking, horned shadows was revealed coming along the southern side of the tunnel.

"Shit. Fyarals." Xander dove into his bag. Something big and heavy would be needed. Something silver. He found a silver edged ax. "Oh, yeah, watch out for sneezes." he warned the newcomers.

"Why?" Louie demanded.

"You don't want to know." Spike and Buffy exchanged a look.

Spike growled out something that sounded gruff and challenging. Although, all Fyaral language sounded like that so he could have been asking how the weather was for all they knew. "Lord, dumb as bricks." Spike motioned the group forward after the demons called back a reply.

"Are we about to get fighty?" Willow asked nervously.

"Should we be casting something?" Tara asked, equally nervous.

"No. I told 'em we were the buyers. They said we can follow them."

"They believed that?" Riley gaped.

"They're hired for the muscle, not the brains." Spike sighed. "Aren't you glad you've outgrown your pesky demon problem, Giles?"

"Bloody glad. Although right now, I'd love to be able to spit paralyzing phlegm. Most unexpected."

"You hung out with these people?" Sam whispered incredulously.

"Yes." Riley shook his head. Part of him missed this, the banter, the laughter in the face of a scary situation, the unexpectedly amazing things his girlfriend and her little gang could do. Part of him was extremely relieved that he'd never have to do it again. He wasn't a by the book soldier anymore, his tactics and his squadron in general was elite, highly innovative and unusual. But at least no one could sneeze and turn you into a statue or float down a tunnel like Tinkerbell.

"They're amazing but-"

"You don't have to tell me Sam." Riley gripped her hand affectionately. "Weird."

"But nice. In an upset, we hate your guts way."

"Things change." He whispered. Buffy sure had. Where was that girl who pushed his love away? She was still there, he supposed, watching Buffy lace her arm through Spike's for a minute before they both moved apart, hands free to fight. She really did need some monster in her man. And Riley Finn was proud to say he had looked that fate in the eye and shoved it away- well maybe not shoved, but walked away from it. He needed a woman content with him, as himself. "I only love you, you get that, Sammi?" He asked softly.

"I'm sure of it, Ry." She patted his arm, her strong hands sweet in their wifely touches. And then she was back to soldier. "What should we pull?" She asked in an undertone.

"Tasers. Long enough to stun them and see what else we need."

The "buyers" entered a room that was lit by the glow of glass fronted freezers and stank of gasoline from generators running them. "Let me go in first." Spike sauntered in as if he owned the place. "Evenin' all."

"He's good at this." Willow hissed to Buffy, watching Spike move easily into a room that was ringed with guards of various forms, and walked calmly to a short figure seated in the darkest part of the room.

"He's had plenty of practice being bad." Buffy said nervously. She should have told him not to go in alone, she should have acted more quickly. The Slayer part of her brain was in control, and it was a tactician. The woman part of her brain was screaming that her lover was in a den of heartless arms dealers and she might be too far away to help him.

"We weren't expecting anyone so early. Definitely not you." A gentle, amused voice said. "Well, we know you don't have this kind of money, so I'd guess you were here as a procurement officer for someone higher than yourself." The voice was male, and human sounding, polite and mildly inquisitive. "You weren't fighting for the bad guys last time I saw you."

"We've met?" Spike's eyes narrowed and Buffy watched Spike vamp even faster than usual, this time his whole body seemed to flash in pain as his demon sprang out. "We've met, _Goddamn you_."

"What's going on?" Giles demanded.

"Shit! That's -that's that guy! The guy!" Xander said frantically.

"What?" Asked Tara.

"Who?" Prompted Willow.

"More specifics, please." Sam asked, her team beginning to spread out and coil for a fight.

"I still can't smell a soul on you." A scraping sound was heard and Buffy made a tortured gasp of recognition.

"You cut my little girl. You broke every bone in my body." Spike was circling around a short, graying man who smiled at him in a creepy, paternal way.

"Yes, I did. I remember that. And I still have to wonder, why do you even care?" The man circled as well, waving his thugs to move in closer.

"You killed her. Good as if you stuck the knife in. An' you don't have the decency to stay dead after she killed you."

"We already talked about that. I believe your criticizing my 'reincarnation' abilities just makes you sound like a hypocrite."

"They said the bloke was called The Doctor, but I didn't think they meant you. I've seen glimpses- he's-" Spike stopped speaking as the figure in front of him shimmered into a reptilian looking beast with a long drooling tongue, and barbed tail, shifted again to a tall, raven haired human, and back to a short, innocent looking senior citizen, a smaller version of the tail barely visible underneath his hanging coat.

"Well, Doc is more casual, my 'at home' moniker, if you will. I have many names and many faces. I'm at work, so I'm The Doctor. And you're in the way." A long pink tongue lashed out and hit Spike across the face, leaving a whip like scar.

"Move. Now." Buffy lead the charge with a determined gleam in her eye. She knew this little demon. He'd cut Dawn, using her blood to open the portal for Glory, meaning the fact that Glory herself was defeated was pointless. Making their battles, their sacrifices, Giles wounded side, Tara's mental invasion, all useless. Meaning that someone with Summers' blood still had to go in. Someone had to die, and see heaven, and be torn away from it. To fight this bastard again. "SPIKE! MOVE!"

Spike whirled and watched her running. The most beautiful thing in the world had to be her running, with that hellfire in her eyes.

"Another one that won't stay dead. You're as bad as your sister you know, she wanted to raise your-"

"Shot your gob!" Spike caught the tongue that lashed with his bare hand. It stung and bled but he held on and yanked. "Slayer, watch out, he-" Buffy jumped the barbed black tail that swung from under the Doctor's long coat. "- has a tail."

"That's the guy! He cut Dawn on the tower." Xander told Willow and Tara. For the first time in Xander's life, he watched Tara's eyes burn black with magic. Willow's did as well. "Anyone who doesn't want to die, should leave now!" He called to the small army of henchmen.

"What? What happened?" Riley asked, running into the fray.

"Don't ask. Just kill." Xander ordered.

"I like your friends, man!" Paul screamed and pulled out something that looked like a cross between an electric cattle prod and a rifle.

Buffy and Spike were fighting to keep "The Doctor" on the ground, as well as keep the others off their backs. "The eggs! Someone get in front of those fridges!" Spike shouted as he noticed one clever vampire sneakily opening the glass door.

"SILEO." Tara and Willow's voices rippled through the room, actually causing the ground to shift under their feet. Above, the building made a worrisome noise.

"To be still." Giles translated for Sam and Riley, who were beside him, dusting vamps and tasering various demons as fast as they were able.

"Hold still?"

"Not you. Him." Tara's eyes were back to normal now as she pointed with loathing at the being on the floor, pinned halfway down by Buffy, as Spike stubbornly refused to let go of his acidic tongue, despite the damage it was clearly doing to his hand. She shook Willow's shoulders. "Honey- lock the freezers." Tara distracted her girlfriend before the darker magic, magic performed in anger, could engage her fully.

"Lock tight." Willow said easily. The vamp who'd been smuggling out eggs had the unfortunate fate of losing his right hand as the doors magically sealed. The egg that he currently held dropped to the floor and shattered- and let out a tiny hissing noise.

"You screwed up. Your boys didn't freeze 'em soon enough." Spike jerked the tongue, wincing, earning satisfaction through his pain, because the Doc winced back and couldn't pull away.

"That's our cue, boys and girls!" Riley lead his team off after the newly hatched Suvolte, which skittered angrily and speedily around the room, looking for its first meal.

"We'll deal with the rest. Buffy, Spike- you should- uh- get closure." Willow turned away from the captured man/demon, her eyes flicking out some red hot pain that the others didn't see, but he felt. "That's what you get when you serve hellbitches." Willow muttered. She left the blonde couple alone with their rightful prey.

"You're the reason I died." Buffy crushed his spiney tail under the sole of her boot.

"You're the reason I lost her." Spike pulled his ever ready knife from the duster and snicked the offending organ he held cleanly off. The bloody, gurgling scream shook the floor again, and the building above made a decidedly loud crumbling noise. "What d'you think, Luv?" Spike tossed her the knife and she caught it easily. "Shallow cuts? Like he did to our Dawn?"

"No. I don't want his blood to flow. I want it to _stop_." Buffy fell to her knees, knife high above her head and then down with a hammer blow into the base of his neck, up again, and into his heart. With a roar, Spike took the head in his hands, and tore it free. "Let's see you come back from that." He crowed.

"Step aside!" Giles walked up, covered in splotched of black and green blood and dust, looking sweaty and tired even though the melee hadn't been happening for very long. "There's only one way to be sure that someone like him, a shapeshifter, doesn't rise again." Looking at the headless body as though it still could hear him, and perhaps it could, he spat savagely. "Incindere." The body burst into flames. "That's for Buffy. Procella maxima." The fire swept and spread and the ashen form trailed with it in its fiery heart. "That's for Dawn. And this is for me, mate." With a perfectly cold, somber face, Giles whispered "Erumpo", and the flaming masses burst into a million scattered sparks. "You weren't the only ones who needed closure." He muttered to Spike and Buffy, and strode away, back into the heart of battle.

The whole room had frozen in the cluster of embers, but now only a few demons and henchmen remained. "I am in a real bad mood just now." Buffy put her hands on her hips. "If you don't want to die painfully, you should run. Now. And never come back." There was a rush for the exit.

"Buffy! You can't just let them go." Riley raced after them.

"Fine." Buffy sighed. "Xander, crossbow?"

"Comin' at 'cha." Xander tossed one neatly to her, and Buffy proceeded to fire and hit two vamps in quick succession. Louie and Paul took after the rest with a war whoop.

"All soldiering gets shot to hell in this town." Riley complained.

"Speaking of things going to hell- or at least down the drain- does anyone know why we're ankle deep in water?" Sam asked.

"Oh. Bad foundation. And the mega witches. Plus the death wail. I think the building's falling into the sea, and all the water displacement is coming in." Xander, voice of construction, explained.

"Then we need to go!" Tara and Willow urged the others towards the tunnel.

"No! The eggs." Spike, one bloody and burned hand cradled to his chest, turned back to the freezers. "We need to destroy 'em good an' proper. An' that one-did it die?"

"Caught in the blaze." Giles assured.

"He's right, if we leave them in Sunnydale, with my luck, in the five minutes before the building goes Atlantis, some ancient order of carnage lovers will find a way to break all of them free and leave them around town like a deranged Easter Bunny." Buffy and Spike headed to the freezers. "The rest of you go."

"Not me. My mission." Riley strode over as well.

"Giles- make them go, we're fine." Buffy begged.

"If you aren't up in five minutes-" He left the threat hanging in the air.

"You'll come in after me, watery grave, my fault." Buffy nodded. "Heard it before."

"Except the watery grave bit, that was a nice touch, right out of Stevenson." Spike praised. "Red? Can you un-mojo the locks, please?"

"I got it, Honey." Tara quickly whispered something and Spike felt the door give in his hand.

"Got it! Now go!" Spike waved them on. "Slayer, got somethin' pointy on you?"

"Mr. Pointy in fact." Buffy plunged the stake into the first shell, but it didn't crack easily. She did it again and met something soft that squelched. and felt the egg tremble. "I can't do this. This is like- gross." Buffy passed the job to Spike and looked sick.

"Me cuttin' someone's tongue out doesn't bother you, but stabbing an egg does?" He asked.

"You know I don't even like soft boiled eggs." Buffy pointed out, looking green.

"I reckon Soldier Boy an' I can handle it." Spike glowered at Riley, who huffed and turned his back. They both worked quietly, dispatching the eggs as Buffy passed them, until Riley suddenly reached for his belt and pushed open his communicator as it beeped.

"Sammi? You okay? Are the guys okay?" He listened, eyes getting wider and wider. "We'll be right up." He shut the device and turned to Buffy. "The building's going in. The back lash is going to flood this tunnel and probably half the wharf district will at least get a splash zone effect. We have to move."

"The eggs can still hatch under water." Spike said grimly. "Don't know if they can swim or not, but I know they can hatch as long as they're anywhere near a room temperature. First warm salt water current and _Jaws _will look like a kiddy movie." Spike stabbed and crushed simultaneously now, gunk on his boots that made him wince and look apologetically at Buffy.

"There are only three left, we can do it fast." Buffy reached into take one when the first gush of water hit the back of her knees and continue to rise. "Or not. Ummm." She surveyed Spike and Riley and the three eggs and calculated the length of the tunnel. "I need to borrow something." Buffy made a split second call and yanked a cylinder out of the pouch on his belt.

"Buffy, that's a grenade."

"She knows that, you daft sod." Spike snarled. He would just love to be free of that chip for minutes to beat it into the boy that Buffy changed, and she was his, and that the little deprecating comments didn't work for either of them.

"And we can swim a lot faster than you, so you should move. Like, now." Buffy nodded and put the pin between her fingers.

Riley tore off, swimming like a black dolphin. He'd always thought she was peculiar. He didn't think she was insane, right up until he heard the soft strokes behind him and realized she wasn't swimming away, only far enough out to throw the grenade and still make it up to the surface in time.

"Luv, go, I'll throw it."

"No."

"I can't bloody drown!"

"I can't live without you, and you know it."

"Stubborn bint!"

"Pig!"

"Fuckin' hell... Well, go on, toss it! Make the tidal wave!" Spike dragged Buffy with him, able to swim faster than her despite his coat. He supposed it was because he didn't have to worry about keeping his head up, and vampires did have that gravity defying leaping ability. He supposed it was the same in water, the gravity defying buoyancy.

Buffy let herself be tugged along. "Riley? Are you out of range?" There was no answer.

"He's far enough, go for it now!" Spike shouted over the steady lapping of water that echoed oddly in the tunnel. Buffy yanked the pin, and threw with all her might. It landed on top of the freezer, where it was out of water, just where she'd planned for it to be. "Nice one, Pet."

"Thanks." Buffy poured out all of her slayer speed, and managed to keep up with Spike, who swam effortlessly. "You- have to give me swimming lessons."

"I'd love to. Swim at night? You an' me- in nothin'?"

"This isn't the time for dirty thoughts!"

"It might be. Might be the last, right? Nothin' more wonderful than seein' my girl in all her glory on a moonlit night."

"I love you! You make even the naughty stuff sound romantic!" Buffy shouted, mentally holding her breath, waiting for the explosion that hsould come in another second.

"We're in love. It is romantic!" Spike's sentence ended with the splintering roar of glass and concrete and the heat of backdraft. The flame met the water, and the tunnel was engulfed in clouds of steam.

Buffy felt herself dragged under a wave of hot water but she didn't panic. Spike was dragging her up, and they were almost at the grate. Two black cords, dangling carabiners were already hanging down.

"Up we go." Spike hooked her up and then himself, all the while watching the wall of superheated water churning towards them. "Oi! Little help?"

Buffy laughed in relief as they were jerked forward and up. "Get away from the hole, away! Get away!" She started crying as soon as she was in shouting range.

"Are you alright?" Giles demanded.

"Get away from here, we're about to have an Old Faithful event!" Spike shooed them all away as he untangled himself from the line and his wet duster. "Gasoline generators, grenades, and a lot of water to blow."

Everyone scurried, Buffy and Spike bringing up the rear. "Remind you of anything?" Spike hollered as they ran.

"The Melissa Modeling race from false reality?" Buffy had just been thinking that herself. The fleeing together sensation reminded her of that confusing long weekend spent at the modeling agency, which culminated with her falling in love with Spike, and fleeing from the building as it dissolved when the enchantment that held it there had been broken.

"Gives me a good idea." Spike grabbed her wrist and flung her ahead of him, knowing she would do what she'd done then, and grip him back. They mutually pulled and pushed each other to the safety zone out of the dock area. They were just in time. A geyser of steam and hot water cascaded up and into the air, bits of wreckage hurtled into the sky.

"Duck and cover!" Riley ordered, and everyone obeyed. A folding chair, various weapons, bits of glass, and a metal box crashed to the ground in the wake of the forced wave.

"Everyone is alright, yes?" Giles looked around, head counting. All of his charges, as he couldn't help but think of them, nodded they were fine as they stood up, none of them hit by debris.

"We rock. It's nice to have a Scooby outing." Buffy laughed, shaking the fetid water from her hair.

"Next time couldn't we just go to the movies or something?" Willow pleaded, holding Tara's hand nervously.

Buffy nodded. "I'm for that. We could so slay some sundaes." She took Spike's hand and he hissed in pain. "Oh my God! Giles, Will, guys!" She rambled frantically.

"Don't fuss, Slayer." Spike snatched it back.

"Yes, fuss! Major fuss!" Buffy took the hand back. "Look!" She shook the hand out in front of her small crowd. Xander winced and awkwardly patted Spike's arm.

"Oh, that's not good." Willow shook her head.

"I'll make you a poultice." Tara mothered him.

"I think we've got some blood in the mini fridge at the shop. That'll heal you more quickly." Giles pretended he didn't feel any emotion when he looked at Spike's hand. But he did. The vampire was cut to the bone. He remembered just why he was growing to like the man, who was redeeming himself not for the sake of a soul or a curse, but for the sake of true love. It was quite moving actually. "I have some Scotch as well."

"That's more like it." Spike grinned.

"Let's just go straight home. Giles, can you pick up Dawn and Anya?"

"I'll do it. Giles, we'll walk back, and then you can have your own car and I can squire the girls around so you don't have to make a lot of stops." Xander volunteered quickly. "We all need showers. Should we clean up and reconvene at the Buffster residence?"

"It sounds good to me." Willow shrugged.

"Where are you guys staying?" Buffy asked Riley and Sam, as they seemed to speak for their foursome.

"We'll get hotel rooms." Riley said quickly.

"Alright then. Have a nice life, you lot." Spike waved his uninjured hand at the commandos and picked his way through the rubble.

"We have to wait here for the buyers you mentioned." Sam spoke up. "If they're humans, we need to take them for questioning. This constitutes as illegal international arms trade." Sam turned to Paul and Louie. "Go get one of the vehicles and get rooms someplace nearby. Meet us back here as soon as you can to help contain buyers." They saluted smartly and walked off.

"Christ." Spike muttered and reached for his cigarettes and pulled out a sopping packet. "Bloody hell!" He flung it away.

"I'll wait. Demons are going to come running." Buffy gestured to the collapsing and sinking building at the end of the wharf. "Especially the ones who knew a deal was going down."

"Then I'll wait, too." Spike said staunchly.

"But your hand-"

"Can wait. It'll heal." Spike replied grimly.

"You two are in no condition to wait. You're soaked, you smell, and Spike's injured." Giles protested.

"I'm waiting."

"Dammit." Giles groaned. "I'll wait as well."

"No, Giles- go. Go tell Dawn we're okay, please? Willow and Tara- maybe you could do something to keep the police from rushing down here?" Buffy pleaded.

The girls nodded, but Giles hesitated. "We're coming back in forty five minutes. If you don't see any buyers by then, we're going home."

"Yes,_ Father_." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"And do stop calling me that!"

Spike and Buffy patrolled around the wrecked perimeter while Sam and Riley skulked around the nearby streets. "You okay, Buffy?"

"Yeah. You're okay. I'm fine." Buffy leaned against him lovingly. "I'm sorry about your coat."

"Don't know what they're going to think. First that paralyzin' spit from the worm demon an' now sewer water. Thank God it's a demon run place."

"Your dry cleaners is a demon operated one?" Buffy demanded.

"I thought I told you. It's at least part demon, the owner. Half or more."

"Only in this town."

"Not so. In many towns." Spike kicked broken glass out of their path, kicking his way idly along the dark, wet pavement. "Weird day, this."

"You have no idea." Buffy sighed.

"How'd he find you?"

"He came to campus. I don't know why he looked for me there, unless it has something to do with being super sniper guy with the internet practically wired to his belly button."

Spike barked out a laugh. "Not too happy to see him, then?"

"No." Buffy shook her head. "I mean, okay, closure. He knows stuff now. I know stuff now. There would never have been 'what ifs' on my part anyway...but there used to be. It's nice to see all the 'what ifs' dead."

"You don't like the future you could see with him?"

"Hell to the no." Buffy laughed scornfully. "I'd turn into - what'd you call Sam? 'Xena Warrior Wannabe', with a 'black kevlar ass'."

"Some of my best, I thought."

"I love you. I do. You're so good to me. A-and you fill me up, and find my pieces, and I just love you. So much." Buffy poured out her words in a desperate ramble. "I thought- when they came back- I thought it might be a trick to get you again. It makes me feel cold and numb inside. Dead inside. Again."

"Shh, Precious, I'm here. Jus' fine. You stay alive, inside an' out." He took her by the shoulders and kissed her, flicking wet hair from her face.

"I taste like stale water, probably." She tried to squirm away.

"You taste like my girl." He whispered, and kissed her eagerly, harder, pressing her into the wall with his body. Buffy whimpered when she felt his hard groin on hers.

"We need to stop."

"How can I stop?" Spike protested, fingers of his good hand sliding across her wet shirt. Her nipples hardened and puckered into his touch. "My Buffy's excited."

"You- you need blood. You need to get better first." Buffy moaned breathlessly, legs parting to allow his knee to grind to her crotch.

"Luv... this isn't the time or place, but someday you could try somethin' with me." Spike felt his fear fading. "I've been- in bed, when the demon's out, even when he isn't, sometimes I'd like to mark you as mine. I've been scared to tell you all this time, I know you have a problem with me bein' a vamp."

"But I don't anymore. I have a problem with you being anything less than my Spike." She lowered her eyes. "Angel was wrong about the demon. Was he wrong about biting?"

"I'm almost positive, he usually was, the Great Pooter. What'd he tell you?"

"You can't control it when you're aroused."

"He couldn't. I can." Spike smiled archly. "Someday, if you'd let me, I'd show you. I'd show you I only want to taste you for a second, I only want to bond with you, Pet."

"We need to stop talking about it, or I'll want to do it here, in the alley, with Mr. and Mrs. Finn sneaking up on us at any minute."

"No, it should be special, an' slow, an'-" Spike paused. "Did you say you want to do it? As in, you _want_ to do it, not jus' _let_ me do it?"

"I trust you. It must be good if you want to do it with me. It must not hurt."

"It won't hurt. I couldn't do it if it hurt. Chips ahoy." He tapped his cranium. "Bastards." He looked bitterly over his shoulder and pulled back from Buffy reluctantly. "If I had my way about it, I'd chip that lot up." He jerked his head and promptly fell over a box lying in the dark corner of the alleyway. Spike was saved by his quick reflexes, grateful that he didn't have to put any weight on his injured hand to catch himself.

"That came out of the geyser." Buffy steadied him, even though he didn't need to be steadied. It was becoming automatic. Like a couple. _We love each other, we touch each other. I was so stupid not to want this, not to even want to try this._

"Let's have it open, then. I wonder what the old devil kept in there that'd be important enough to bring to this little meetin'. Might be somethin' nasty, so you stand back." Spike reveled in the thought that he had to tell her to step back. She was always so close to him now. Like he'd always wanted.

Spike's deft fingers reached inside his coat and produced some small wires and other little pieces of metal Buffy knew were lock picking tools. She didn't even flinch, Spike watched her to see if she would, but she only regarded him curiously. "Don't have much call for this now." He said casually, to reassure her without having to sound like he was.

"I know. But right now, I'm glad you have the gear for it. Open up, maybe it's something good. Or at least magic-y, something Giles could use."

"There!" Spike eased open the lid and peeped inside. "Buffy!" He threw open the box.

"Oh. My. God!" Buffy squealed and leaped and then reached down and grabbed a packet of cash. "Spike- this is-"

"This is payin' off the house!" Spike looked at it, hastily counting. "Maybe not the whole thing, but most of it."

"Where did he get it from?" Buffy wondered, before it struck her. "Oh. Geez." She dropped it like it was filthy.

"What?" Spike asked innocently.

"It's the money for the eggs."

"The first half of the payment anyway. Oh, when the buyers turn up, we'll get the rest an' then we-" Buffy was glaring at him. "An' then we don't take it? We let the weapon buying demons walk off and fund a war machine? Or buy more demons from somewhere else? We fund a slave trade or black market weapons deals?"

"Stop! I get it, I get it. But this money isn't ours."

"Finders keepers and possession is nine tenths of the law an' all that." Spike began lining his pockets with the bundles of bills.

"Spike!"

"Luv, we risked our necks for this, an' I can't work a regular job. I was talkin' about takin' this one, remember?"

"I know." Buffy looked torn.

"The Slayer never gets paid for what she does. An' the slayers usually don't have to play big sis an' keep little sis fed an'- I- I don't do enough. I don't know, Pet. Seems fair to me."

"Whatever is left over we'll do something good with?"

"What the bloody hell is better than lookin' after the savior of the ruddy world?" Spike howled.

"Fine! I'll let you handle the money. I trust you with finances a lot more than I trust me." Buffy said in exasperated defeat. Then she gave him a sudden muted giggle.

"You thinkin' about the time on the porch?" Spike guessed.

"The banks and the demon in the basement. And me being so desperate that I asked you what_ you_ knew about finances."

"Your life bein' screwed on so many levels." Spike laughed. " Ahh, Buffy, we made it. You an' me, we're together an' it's all gonna be okay." Spike put his arm around her and she responsively leaned into his shoulder.

Riley and Sam turned the corner to see Spike and Buffy cuddling as they walked along. "Okay- we could hear you laughing and shouting from a block away. You can never make fun of my stealth again." Riley said with a trace of amusement.

"No buyers?"

"Not yet. I wonder what time they were due?" Sam asked.

"If you hadn't beaten up half of Willy's today, I could've popped in an' asked." Spike muttered.

"Shhh." Buffy elbowed them. "Listen."

"I don't hear anything." Riley cocked his head.

" 'Cause you're talkin'." Spike shushed him and looked suddenly more alert. "Three human."

"Something not human." Buffy rubbed her neck. "Slayer tinglies."

"We'll take the humans." Riley said.

"We'll take the non." Buffy smiled.

The next half hour became very busy. Giles and Xander turned up again at the forty five minute mark and Paul and Louie (freshly showered at their cheap hotel room) soon had four men in the back of one of the SUVs ready to take away to a classified government base for questioning.

It was another hour before eleven buyers had shown up. Spike suggested one buyer might have to planned to purchase two. He didn't say why he thought that, but Buffy realized he must have figured out the amount per egg and that after only eleven the dozen was paid for. "Let's get home. Bit must be worried." Spike said loudly, trying to get everyone on their way. Particularly before they found out that he was holding a huge sum of money in his coat.

"Everyone's at your house, Buffy." Giles wiped his hands down after throwing another demonic corpse into the ocean.

"Okay. I'm so beat." Buffy yawned and allowed herself to be led off.

"Can we come back with you? We want to talk about something we found." Riley spoke up. Spike cursed vehemently, but Buffy nodded.

"You're okay! You're both okay, you stink, but you're okay!" Dawn embraced her family, and then Xander and Giles for good measure.

"You need your hand treated." Tara was firm.

"He needs something to eat." Anya was practical.

"Get your coat off, you're gonna have to let it air out." Willow wrinkled her nose.

"How the hell did this happen? Riley mused aloud as he watched the scene before him.

"What?" Xander asked.

"When I left Spike was a creepy stalker vampire. Now he's got everyone dancing around him like he's god."

"I'm not god! I'm part of the damn family, part of the gang. Alright?" Spike shook off the ministering hands. "If it was Buffy or Giles hurt, we'd do the same thing for them. Seem to recall they tried to do this to you once or twice."

"Riley, what'd you want to say? Say it and go." Buffy requested tiredly.

"Sam?" Riley gestured to his wife and partner.

Sam reached into a zip in the front of her black flack vest. "Look at this. Forty grand."

"Holy moolah!" Xander gasped.

"You should invest that. Not carry it around with you." Anya shook her head at the folly of some people.

"We got it from the buyers. Ten thousand each." Sam said.

"We had no idea they were going for that much." Riley shook his head wonderingly.

Spike snorted. "How much did you think they were worth?"

"I didn't research that." Riley admitted.

"I'm a hell of a better negotiator than you." Spike mumbled cryptically. "Dawn, be a good girl an' put this coat upstairs in our room." Spike took the coat off and handed it to Dawn.

Dawn nodded and moved quickly. She could read him so well. They _were_ best friends. Her devoted big brother, her guardian, if not legal, if not angelic, still always guarding her. And now she had to help him. Upstairs, she didn't go to his room, she went to hers and started going through the pockets. Weapons, lighter- ooh, that needed to be dried out, more weapons, eeew something unidentifiable, and- money. Money, piles of slightly wet money. Dawn knew they'd be wondering where she was if she took too long. Quickly, she stacked the piles under her mattress and moved to their room, where she opened the window to air out the coat and the lighter.

"Spike, I hung up the coat, and I left the window open to air it out. Your lighter's all wet." Dawn said easily as she came down the steps.

"It's made to last. Just probably needs to dry out a bit. Ta, Niblet." He regarded her without even a flicker, and she did the same. _God, I love that Little Bit._

"You need to get cleaned up. And your hand has to get cleaned before you drink your blood." Dawn snatched a steaming cup from Anya's hand.

"Why?"

"You'll heal up wrong."

"Bit, it doesn't work like that."

"Tara and I will take care of you."

"For goodness sakes..."

"Go. She's almost as stubborn as Buffy." Giles urged. "Here. I'll pour you something you can drink right now."

"Ah, you're a prince, Rupert." He and Spike left the room, flanked by Tara and Dawn. Willow appeared in the doorway of the kitchen holding a steaming pot.

"The poultice herbs are all steamed and smushy. Where do we keep the cheesecloth?"

"Cheesecloth? We have cheesecloth?" Dawn looked unsure.

"We had floor wax, for all I know we've got the Hope Diamond stashed under the kitchen sink." Spike shrugged.

As the injured man and his well-intentioned friends went into the kitchen, Anya had apparently found some common round with Sam.

"Xander! Sam was just telling me about this great way to get lots of candid shots at the wedding and a cute idea for the thank you notes." Anya beckoned Xander over.

Riley and Buffy regarded each other with tired eyes. "Long night?"

"Not so bad." Buffy shrugged. "Better than a lot of nights last year, that's for sure."

"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry about that."

"You can stop apologizing now. I'm not getting any more or less forgiving." Buffy crossed her arms and looked towards the kitchen.

"I just thought you should know, it isn't easy seeing the two of you together. If that's what you wanted me to feel, or why you picked him."

"Sorry. I'm not sure I understand. Are you asking me if I picked Spike to hurt you?"

"No. Not exactly. It isn't easy, that's all."

"He's changed. So have I. So have you. All of us probably for the better, right?"

"Buffy, he hasn't changed. He has a chip. He's learned to behave. That's all."

"He can do both, you know? He changed in his hear and mind. For me. For love."

"Vampires don't change on some spiritual level, Buffy. No souls, you said. They're a step up from animals. You have a really well-trained pet. But if that makes you happy, I'm happy for you."

Buffy shook with rage. "Leave. Leave now." Her voice was soft and dangerous.

"Animal and pet were the wrong words." Riley hastily placated. "But you know what I mean. He's evolving to meet his needs and love isn't exactly a need."

"It's the_ only_ need for some people." Buffy hissed, stepping away.

"You won't know." Riley said softly as she left the room.

"Won't know what?" Buffy turned. Anya and Xander abruptly stopped talking. Riley looked uncomfortable.

"If it's the chip or what you say it is. You'll never know. The chip is always the variable you can't remove from the equation."

"Whose fault is that?" Buffy glared.

"Luv?" Spike called.

"Everything's fine!" Buffy lied cheerfully. She walked over to Riley, cold fire in her eyes. "You're right." Buffy bit her lip. _I can't believe this. I can't believe this. I really, I can't say what I want to say, but I'm going to say this anyway._ Buffy took a deep breath. "Can you remove the chip?"

"Me? Do what?" Riley looked like he might collapse in surprise.

"You have people. Can they do it?"_ I trust him. But would I ever really know? I do know, I have to know, it can't be a lie. It's love. It isn't a lie. I'm going to take a risk, and trust my heart again. It feels better that way. He- he loves me. He'd never slip. Because breaking his heart, losing me, that's the worst pain, worse than the chip._

"You want me to remove the chip from Spike's head?"

"I think you owe me that much." Buffy smiled icily.

"What's going on?" Dawn emerged from the kitchen cautiously, Spike on her heels.

"Riley is going to help you get your chip out, Spike." A chorus of gasps, disbelieving, shocked, and openly terrified broke out.

"Really?" Spike's most sinister smile appeared and faded in a moment. He'd love to beat up some deserving humans, like the wanker in front of him. "Why would he do that, then?"

"Because Riley thinks you don't love me. He thinks the chip has caused you to adapt to a constant variable or something." Buffy crossed the room to him. "But I trust you. I know it's love."

"Buffy-" Giles and Xander winced hesitantly as they began to point out some painful truths.

They didn't have to. "I'll pass." Spike said hoarsely.

"What?" Everyone demanded, again in varying tones of shock and disbelief.

"I know you trust me. But this little zapper makes you feel better. You know whatever happens, I didn't hurt someone. It's a sure thing. I know you haven't had too many sure things, an' I'm one of them. So I'm- I'm love's bitch. But it's worth it, Goldilocks. For you."

"Spike." Buffy threw her arms around his neck.

"Didn't see that one coming." Xander muttered to Anya, who frowned as she considered.

"Most noble." Giles raised his tumbler of alcohol to Spike.

"Ahh. True love." Dawn, Tara, and Willow exchanged happy looks.

"Well. I hope you two have many long, happy years together." Sam rose, eager to be gone, not that she wasn't genuinely enjoying talking to the fascinating people she'd met. But her uniform, while quick drying, was still unpleasant smelling and she wanted to get into a hot shower.

"A long and happy life!" Giles raised his glass again.

"Years an' years, Slayer." Spike murmured into Buffy's hair.

"Uh. Not- not exactly." Riley interrupted.

"Why? Why not exactly?" Buffy demanded.

"Yeah!" Willow challenged.

"The chip. It- uh- wasn't designed to last more than four years." Riley whispered.

"Four years?" Tara gaped.

"Four years?" Spike looked sickened, and pulled Buffy to him more tightly.

"At the most."

"That's- that's next year." Dawn pressed a hand to her chest- right before she started hyperventilating and sobbing at once. "No! NO! _NO ! _Fix it!" She shrieked in a hysterical tone the others hadn't hear her use in a long time.

"Dawn-"

"Catch her!" Giles and Spike moved at the same time, right before Dawn pitched forward.

"Bloody hell, she's passed out."

"Never saw someone pass out that fast." Tara raced to the girl.

"Do we sit her up or lay her down?" Spike demanded, his own plight forgotten. Buffy dropped to her knees and was shaking Dawn gently.

"Get her upstairs." Giles ordered.

"I got it." Spike lifted her lightly. "Niblet. Nib, come on, Sweet Bits, I need you." He shook her.

"I'm going to get a bag for her to breathe in when she comes to." Willow tore back to the kitchen.

"Get her some water as well." Giles cradled her head as it hung over Spike's arm.

Buffy, Xander, Riley, and Sam were left in the living room. "You knew and you didn't tell me?" Buffy turned to Riley with a mixture of incredulity and hate in her eyes.

"I didn't know until after we broke up. I wasn't big on Spike's supporter list at the time, anyway."

Buffy paused, her mouth opening and shutting in time with her rapidly filling eyes. "You would let someone die because of personal animosity?"

"Not a person. Not- Buffy, Spike wasn't high on your favorites list at the time either!"

"You knew we had something, even a working relationship, you knew that I wouldn't kill him! You knew he- helped me find about you." Her eyes stopped overflowing abruptly. "Is that why you didn't tell me? He led me to you, in that brothel?"

"Brothel?" Sam demanded.

"Vampire high." Riley gave her a sorrowful grin that indicate this was a secret he'd shared but wasn't proud of. "Buffy, that wasn't why. I honestly didn't even think of Spike if I could avoid it. When I heard from Graham that some research came to light a few months ago, I was in a no contact zone in the jungle. I couldn't have called you even I wanted to."

"Oh, bullshit!" Xander cried. "You didn't think of it, whatever the reason. What are you going to do about it?"

"Whatever I can." Riley swore solemnly. "I mean it. Whatever I can do."

Buffy let out a grateful sigh and hugged Riley briefly. "When can you find someone to do it?"

"I'll make calls. I'll tell you as soon as I know something."

"Thank you. Thank you. I'll- he'll have to do it. He knows I need him." Buffy bit her lip, blushing. "I- I need to check on Dawn." She turned hurriedly and dashed up the stairs.

Willow came out of the kitchen, holding a brown bag and a glass of water and came to stand beside Xander.

"We're going to head out." Riley nodded to them. "Good to see you both."

"Wait." Willow's voice was soft and had a tremble in it. "I heard what you promised. You said you'd make calls. You'll let her know what you find out, tomorrow?"

"Sure, I'll check in."

"Riley. I can raise the dead. I can hurt a god. I've done it."

"She's freaky terrifying." Xander said with a note of pride.

"I don't love Spike, but I like him. I like him a lot, actually." Willow realized it was true. "I love Buffy. I can't go through her death again. If Spike dies, she'll die. She had her soul and heart broken and put back together all wrong when she came back to life. It was my fault." Her hands twisted nervously, clutching the bag and glass. "We all tried to help, but she couldn't talk to us, not for a long time. Riley, Spike was the only one who could put her together again."

"Metaphysical Humpty Dumpty." Xander threw in. Willow gave him a sideways glance. "I'm trying!"

"What are you getting at?" Riley asked.

"If you run out on us, if you don't genuinely try to help him, for her sake-"

"I will! I'm getting tired of everyone double checking everything I say."

"It's not you, it's the uniform. We have commando issues." Xander spread his hands apologetically.

"The point is- I can move around souls. Gods. Dark forces. I'm not going to have any trouble finding you if you skip out on her."

"We'll find her some help. Him some help." Sam promised.

"Don't worry. I know you don't like me. But I'd still do almost anything for Buffy. And this comes under the heading of almost anything."

Dawn clutched Spike's hand and Buffy clutched both her sister and her lover. "Spike. You have to have it removed."

"What if they just kill me on the table? Seems bloody likely. I can't imagine they'd help a bloke like me. No. Give me a year, rather than a few days. I'll take my chances."

"Spike. Please." Buffy took his face in her hands and pressed her forehead to his. "You promised to try. I won't let anything happen to you. Please. You're my missing piece."

"Bloody hell."

"I'll stay with you for it. You can be awake, right? Like you were when Harmony and you tried to get it out last time."

"Don't like to think of that." Spike grunted. "But yeah. Hurts, but I can do it. Maybe the Watcher'll let me into his painkillers that he doesn't use."

"I'll be there too. I'll sit on one side, and Buffy can be on the other. We'll be your guardian angels. With crossbows in case they try anything funny."

"That's my girl. An' no more passin' out. Scares me." Spike helped Dawn off the bed. "Everyone still down there?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so." Buffy sniffled.

"I'll be right down. Give us a minute." Spike patted Dawn's hand and looked at Buffy. Buffy nodded, a sweet smile on her face as she walked down the stairs- into the arms of her waiting friends.

"Where's the stash?" Spike asked quickly.

"Here." Dawn sprang off the bed and pulled the money to the floor with a sweep of her hand under the mattress.

"Right." Spike counted the money, wrapped in stacks of ten thousands, into piles. "Keep these. That's for the house."

"Spike, what are you doing?"

"I don't have a will so I gotta divvy up the cash. In case." Spike said bluntly. "Don't faint. I need you."

"Okay." Dawn whimpered.

"I'm gonna be fine." He said more gently. "I've got the two toughest girls in the world watchin' over me. How could I not be fine?"

"You never could lie to me. Your voice breaks at the end." Dawn reminded him.

He ignored her. "How much did the Watcher give Buffy for the plumbin' and such?"

"I don't know."

"Best give him one or two then." Spike said. "An' this can be for your college fund. This goes to Red an' her bird. An' this goes to Anya... and her boy." He said begrudgingly.

"But you're going to be fine." Dawn squeaked, her voice high and tense.

"I know. I've got my reasons for doin' what I do. Was gonna do it regardless." Spike sighed and scratched the back of his neck tiredly. "I kinda wish they didn't have to- I don't want to give it to them, y'see? Make a big deal? Except Anya. I want to tell her somethin'."

"I can get this to Giles." Dawn took one of the stacks.

"Don't let him give it back."

"Maybe you and Buffy want to be alone tonight. I could say I want to give you some privacy and spend the night on the couch at his place. Then I can give him the money and we can talk. There won't be any problem. He can't give it back without making a big deal and interrupting everything."

"Let's try it then." Spike sighed and stood up slowly. Dawn leaned on him and they walked down the stairs together.

"Feeling better?" Giles asked Dawn and Spike.

"Peachy keen." Spike grumbled. "Luv, can you come here a mo'?"

Buffy walked to Spike's side quickly. "What is it?"

"I want you to give this to Red an' Tara. Tell 'em it's for helpin' all this time. Tell 'em it's combat pay. Tell 'em- anything, but give it to them."

"Why don't you do it?"

"I can't. Gotta do somethin' else. Oi, Demon Girl." Spike motioned Anya to the front door and Xander followed her. _Dammit. He would do this to me. Always under m' feet._

Dawn took Giles into the kitchen. "Buffy and Spike- they should have some time alone tonight. They've had a hell of a day."

"I can't imagine. Riley turning up alone and contrite would be quite enough, but Riley turning up married, on a mission, asking for help and telling Spike his days are numbered... Plus the- demon eggs." No one had told Dawn exactly who the culprit was. There would be time later.

"Right. So maybe I should spend the night someplace else."

"I'm sure Willow and Tara would love to have you."

"They need some alone time too. All the couples should be alone together." Dawn's eyes widened. "I mean- not that- but this kind of a couple thing- and um-" Dawn put her head in her hand for a moment. " You're my event buddy, and I claim you for a night of two people complaining about the long sucky night they had and falling asleep exhausted."

"In that case... ask your sister before you pack a bag."

"But why?" Tara asked.

"It's demon egg money. You stopped the sale, you get the cash."

"But we always help. It's what we do." Willow stammered.

"And we never get paid. Tonight, there was money involved. You get paid."

"Buffy, I don't think-"

"Look. if you took a dollar for every life you saved, and we've saved the world a couple times now, you'd be owed umm- six billion dollars, give or take? No, twelve billion dollars. So... this is cheap, it's hardly a tip. Take the money, please." Buffy pushed the stack of notes into their hands for the third hoped they'd just take it. She was tired of making explanations.

"I've got somethin' for you. I'm tellin' you this once." Spike said angrily, glaring, daring either of his conversation partners to interrupt. "Here. Take this. It's for your wedding. Put your crazy relatives up in hotels. I know havin' 'em stay with you would be cheaper, but the stress ain't good for you."

Anya took the money in awe, and Xander blinked uncomprehendingly. "Thank you." Anya said finally.

"You're welcome." Spike said shortly. Catching Xander's eye, he became belligerent again. "I'm not doin' it because I like you!" He pointed accusingly at the young man. "It's 'cause I admire _you_." Spike turned to Anya, a defiant tilt to his chin, daring her to say anything patronizing or pitying to him. "I know what it's like to make a switch and no one else knows how hard it is. What it's like to choose good over evil, 'cause you're in love. I know you changed, an' you knew I did. So consider it a thank you, a solidarity gift. Jus' don't want you driven round the twist by puttin' up demons an' the miserable people Harris has for relatives." Spike shoved his hands in his damp jeans and stared pointedly at the ceiling. "I'm done now. You can be off." He said after a moment.

"This is enough money that we can put up all of your out of town guests. And mine. And even pay for a rental to pick them up at the airport, because I hate driving to the airport. Then there's some left over." Xander gasped in awe. He kissed Anya warmly, and then turned to Spike suddenly. "I love you, man!" Xander gasped out and hugged Spike hard and fast.

Spike looked helplessly at Anya. No one had ever acknowledged him like that. And certainly not the hugging as well. "Uh. Yeah. Cheers, mate." Spike pushed him away.

"I didn't do that." Xander said quickly.

"Oh, thank God." Spike went along with it. The two of them shared a smile.

"Thank you." Anya kissed Spike on the cheek. "I'm glad you're going to get your chip out. And I know you'll still be good, even with your powers back."

"I'm not good." Spike mumbled, blushing slightly.

"Good for her. Good to her, and to us. Not snacking on people." Anya kissed his cheek again. "Good luck, Spike. With everything,"

"Ta, Luv." Spike grinned, but his eyes were serious.

Xander cleared his throat. "After a big gesture like this, I think it's customary to offer the guy a seat on the wedding party. But as I can't imagine you wanting to spend all day in a tux getting photos taken and being told to smile and pose- I hereby forbid you to be anything but Mr. Average Joe, Special Vampire Edition, at our wedding."

"Think I know what you were sayin' earlier." Spike wrung Xander's hand with deep gratitude and both of them laughed.

"We're gonna get some shut eye." Xander and Anya made their goodbyes, and then Willow and Tara left, getting a ride with Giles and Dawn.

Spike and Buffy locked the door behind their last guests. With a long sigh, Buffy turned to Spike.

"Hi Honey. I'm home." She laughed.

"Bloody right, and about time." He teased. They pushed the seriousness lying uneasily below the surface away. "Good to see you, Luv."

"Good to see _you_." Buffy wrapped her arms around him, and held him tight.


	7. Chapter 7

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives.___

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Dlillith21, Ginar369, Good for the Soul and lambean._

_This chapter is a complete smut and mush fest. _

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part VII

Buffy and Spike surveyed each other, finally alone in an empty house. "That was nice of Bit to clear off." Spike said, coming slowly to his lover.

"She has a crush on him, I think."

"What? On Rupert?"

"Yeah. Totally crush monster."

"We have to go get her back then. She's spendin' the night at his place. On his couch!"

Buffy laughed. "And what do you think Giles is going to do about it? She's way underage. Dawn had a crush on Xander and you at some point in recent memory, too."

"But I was in love with you, Xander was in love with Anya. Giles isn't in love with anyone."

"No, you're right. He's still Giles, though, and he knows Dawn is a sweet, but whiny teen brat."

"Is she?" Spike challenged.

"Yeah! You know... the way she... really maturely and thoughtfully furthered every step of our relationship and understands life and death and souls and humanity and totally has become a mature, pretty cool young woman." Buffy drug her fingers down her cheeks, looking at Spike with comprehension. "Uh-oh."

"You don't think the old man would ever try it on with her, do you?" Spike's lean frame tensed.

"No. No, I think even if he did feel the same way, he'd do everything right. Because he cares about her." Buffy relaxed. "If there was a guy I'd trust Dawn to be with, it's him."

"You're not wigged. Strange, Luv, I could've sworn you'd be screamin' your head off."

"I'm dating you. Giles is a young stud compared to you."

"Oi!"

"Well, the young part. And he is kinda cute." Buffy caught Spike's hand and pulled him upstairs. "Good thing I'm over cute. I like wickedly handsome. Blue eyes...smoky voice...a heartbeat that happened once in a century and half- just for me. I'm so spoiled. I can't have anyone but you."

Spike's eyes widened as she moved seductively with every word. At the top of the stairs, he found himself pinned hungrily to the wall, her mouth devouring his. "Sweet Slayer. My Buffy."

"You make me yours. All night long." She whispered between kisses.

"Gotta get you out of these clothes first." he urged.

"Shower before bed." She agreed. Her strong little hands possessed him and led him into the bathroom.

"All the couples are paired up. For a few hours, all can be right with world." Spike gasped, head tilting back and eyes closed as Buffy began to undress him.

"Ahn, come to bed." Xander urged.

"But the hotel rooms- I need them really soon. I have to make reservations!" Anya protested as Xander slowly disengaged the phone from her fingers.

"You can do it in the morning." Xander kissed her warmly. "Mrs. Harris- to- Be."

"Wow. Ooh, I love the sound of that. Almost as much as I love the words 'Mrs. Harris'. Not your mother, of course."

"No, Ahn, that'd be a stretch. But you're going to make Mrs. Harris look good. A sexy, beautiful version of the name."

"You know sex isn't going to get boring with us, right? You don't have to worry that because I'm married, I'll stop trying. Because I won't. Because I understand you can get un-married just as easily as married now. So you always have to work at it."

"Yeah." Xander nodded nervously. You had to work at it, or it failed. Or he failed. He came from a long line of failed husbands. If he let her down, he couldn't live with himself. A tiny voice in the back of his head told him maybe it was better not to try at all, than to try and fail, and become his father.

"So, no boring sex. And I'm not worried about anything else. About the love or the sickness and health, money or no money parts." Anya cheerfully walked to their bedroom and began methodically undressing.

"You aren't?" Xander blinked worriedly. "Those are kinda important, Honey."

"Way more important than sex." Anya agreed. "But I have you. I don't have to worry. If there's one man in the world who never gives up and never lets me down, it's 're the best boyfriend in the world." Anya turned to him, now in red lace panties and bra. "Look at you. You don't have any super powers. You don't even have super weapons."

"Not helping." Xander muttered.

"But the whole world would fall apart without you. And all you have to do is be you, just be there, and things get better. That's pretty amazing." Anya looked at him with soft, adoring eyes.

Xander felt his cheeks burning and the fire spread all through him, making him proud inside, making him hard lower down, making him smile. "You're pretty amazing yourself, Anya." He swooped her up in his arms with a laugh. "I love you. I'm never going to stop trying to make you happy."

"Just being you makes me happy." She whispered sincerely. "I love you more than anything. Even money."

"I am the luckiest guy in the world." Xander said with conviction, and twirled her around before falling onto the bed with his soon to be wife.

"Pepper is the cutest kitty in the world." Willow poked the sleeping kitten on its belly and it sleepily rolled over, paws stretching above its ears. "Get the camera! That is the cutest pose ever!"

"Sweetie- naked here." Tara pointed to both of them. Pepper lay between them at chest level. "I would be getting some very risque kitty pictures."

"Good point." Willow frowned at the cat and then looked at Tara. "I hate to move him. He's so sleepy and limp like an overcooked noodle."

"So don't move him."

"But he's blocking the view of my girlfriend's lucious-y bits."

"This is true." The curvy blonde giggled. "Plus, kissage interference." Tara sat halfway up. "C'mon little Pepper Pot." She gently scooted the kitten down to their feet.

"He's going to get kicked." Willow worried.

"Is someone planning on leg flailing activity?" Tara's voice get throatier, and her cheeks bloomed.

"Can I help it if I appreciate you?" Willow giggled and pulled Tara to her side.

"Your skin is humming. Magic all over you." Tara whispered, kissing her shoulder.

"Yours is too. Yours is more." Willow looked at her in amazement. "You're so strong."

"I- I don't let myself touch the power inside. It's not too safe. I just use what's on the surface."

"That's what makes you so powerful." Willow marveled. "Just what you have on the surface... so amazing."

"I hit the dark part of me tonight. When- when I saw the man who hurt Dawnie, it was like something inside boiled over."

"I know. I know, that's how I felt when Glory touched you. I love you so much."

"I love Dawn. Not like that, obviously." She tickled Willow's cheek with her hair and they squirmed pleasurably together.

"I know, Silly. But I know what you felt. Mama Bear protecting her cub."

"Yeah. It was kind of maternal." Tara blushed.

"I think it's sexy." Willow purred. Tara's eyes widened, then her lids lowered.

"Willow..." She held her arms open, one leg lazily rubbing her partner's.

"Oh, Sweetie." Willow sank gratefully into the love in human form that lay beside her.

Giles looked at the girl, no, the young woman, beside him. He wasn't meant to know. It was meant to be a secret crush. Silly, innocent crush. She looked so young sometimes._ I'm chasing Lolita. Steady on, man, you're not chasing anything. She might have a crush, and you do enjoy spending time with her, but in no way is it a Lolita situation._

"It's weird now, isn't it?" Dawn muttered bitterly. "Because I let it slip. How important you are to me?"

"No. No, of course it isn't. Or it shouldn't be." Giles put his hands on his knees with a sudden gesture of resolution. "You're important to me. Of course we wouldn't be okay if the other one were not. None of us would be. We all fit together."

"Very circle of life." Dawn grinned.

"Pardon?"

"Lion King! Have you watched any movies for children, ever?"

"Not since I was a child." He said dryly.

Talking about kiddie movies probably doesn't help him see you as mature, Dawn thought to herself. "Spike had something he wanted me to give to you. Spike and Buffy. It's a loan repayment."

"Loan? I didn't loan anyone anything."

"To fix the house?" Dawn rummaged in her duffle bag, which lay at her feet by the edge of the couch. "Here."

"That was a gift and- good heavens!" Giles put his glasses back on. "I didn't lend this much, even if it was a loan!"

"Please take it. You've always tried to help take care of Buffy and he's paying you back."

"I can't accept this."

"He doesn't have a lot to give, you know? This money from the deal tonight is years' worth of work that he didn't get paid for." Dawn was getting angry. "Buffy, too. She never gets paid for being a Slayer! How the hell did the old slayers do it? They always were alone, how'd they get money, how'd any of them survive?" Dawn was on her feet now, pacing the back of the couch.

"Dawn-"

"No one survives here, you know that? No one! We just move from one mess to the next mess! I thought it was all good now. Sure, battles, slaying, but there was a house, food, school, people who love me. Buffy actually saw me, Spike was with us. Then they come back and say, 'Sorry you found your true love about a year before he dies, and a year after you did. You never get to be together for long!"

"Dawn, you're getting hysterical." Giles came to his feet beside her as angry tears started to flow.

"I'm not a child! I'm angry! I'm not hysterical, this is righteous indignation! I finally got everything together for them and the stupid secret agent people might take it away! Four years at _most_! What if the chip breaks down tonight? What if tonight is their last night?"

"Riley's doing what he can. We'll all do what we can. There might be magical ways to remove it, I'll find a way if Riley can't!" Giles grabbed her shoulders but she shook him off, furiously brushing her arms.

"He swore he'd never leave town until I was ready! I'm not ready. He's the only one that stays. Even you didn't stay!"

"But I came back." Giles whispered.

"To see Buffy again. Not for me. Spike stayed for_ me_." Dawn wrapped her arms around himself. "I can't lose him. I can't lose any more people."

"You won't lose me. I make the same promise. Not to Buffy, not _just _to her, at any rate. I promise I'll stay here until you're ready for me to go. And I promise we won't let them take one more person from us." Giles turned her to face him.

In the low light, with her face grim, and her hair hanging in loose coils around her cheeks, she looked much older. "I'll hold you to that." She whispered fiercely.

"Please do." He replied gravely.

"I'm sorry I freaked."

"It's good to freak sometimes." He laughed and she bolted the step into his arms and clung there. "Shhh. Shhh. You let it out."

"I'm done letting it out." She said, muffled on his chest. "Now I'm just tired."

"Lord, so am I." Giles failed to stifle a yawn and she laughed as his body rippled in a suppressed effort. "Let's go to bed."

_The simple phrases are meant to torment us_, Giles winced internally. "I'll make up the couch for you."

"Yeah. Yeah, good." Dawn agreed hurriedly. _See, it _is _weird. I'm so not in a 'go to bed' with him mindset, but he knows I like him and now... weirdity. _"You'll take the money, right?"

"Yes." Giles privately decided to put it in an emergency fund for the girls. No, for the youngsters in general. All of them had hard times in the past, they all would in the future. It would certainly help cover the cost of the next time one of their houses got demonized. "I'll take it and thank him."

"Could you not thank him too much? He's all squirmy about giving it to people. He has a good heart, Giles. He just doesn't want everyone to know _how_ good."

"I see that, Dawn."

"You do?"

"Yes. For the most part. Although I don't think he's 'good'. It just seems that he excels at love and loyalty. If we asked him to live a life governed by charity and a code of ethics..."

"Yeah. Never gonna happen." Dawn shook her head and fully released Giles at last, stepping completely away from him. "But all Buffy and I need it for him to love us and be there for us, and not kill anything. I think he can do that, chipped or not."

"We'll find out." Giles sighed deeply. "You're right Dawn. We don't so much survive, just hop from crisis to crisis."

"And when most people say crisis, they mean dinner burning or losing their luggage on a trip. We mean world ending, sisters dying, commandos all over the place." She shrugged and rolled her shoulders as her muscles ached from stress. "Good thing we don't have to go it alone."

"I shall mark you down as my 'crisis buddy' as well as my 'event buddy'." Giles said in a mock serious tone, hazel eyes twinkling.

"That wasn't part of the deal! Vacuuming and peeling potatoes, okay, but crisis tag teaming? I so don't think so." Her tone was firm, but her eyes were dancing, playing with his.

"I'll share my box of Quality Street with you." Giles wheedled playfully.

"Hmm. One piece per crisis?"

"Deal."

"Today counts as at least four crises."

"Two at most."

"Nu-uh! Four. 'Cause there was the demon stuff, that was one. And then Riley, that was two. Then-"

"Oh, dear." He groaned. "Take four! I could never win an argument with you anyway."

"And don't you forget it." Dawn rose lightly on her tip toes and kissed his cheek before she darted off to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

"This is the longest shower on record." Buffy moaned softly. Spike merely grunted and gently pushed her shoulders forward again, easing into her from behind.

"Hot water bill's no problem this time 'round." He whispered. "I wanna enjoy you. I wanna enjoy all of you." _One more time,_ he thought in his head but didn't say. _In case it all goes pear shaped._

"Ooh, right there. Fast, right there." Buffy clamped her walls down on him and held his thrusting member inside against a pleasurable spot.

"No, not fast, Pet. I'll still get you there." He leaned forward, wiping a lock of hair back from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear as he whispered to her. "Let me drive. You enjoy this ride. Next one, you call the speed."

"Okay." She was still breathless when he whispered in her ear like that. Her spine still shivered, even after months of hot love making. "Okay, you drive. Take me, I'm all yours."

"That's what I love to hear. It's mutual. I'm all yours, too." Spike brought them to their knees and rubbed one hand languidly between her nipples and swollen clit as he pumped into her from behind. Her tremors were building, nice and slow this time. Her noises were climbing the scale slowly, moans replaced by breathy gasps. "Trust me?"

"Very obviously." She snapped in between gasps.

"Good." He wanted to see her face, but he wanted to touch her in this position. He wanted to be in all of her, for the first time, for the last time maybe. Maybe not completely engage in the act, but at least initiate it. On the other hand- if she hated it, it would ruin their beautiful love making.

"Why is the ride switched off?" Buffy demanded, bouncing her delectable bottom off his thighs in an attempt to get the motion started again.

"Sorry. Thinking." He kissed her middle back and resumed.

"What about?"

"How much I love you. Wanna be inside you, fill all of you up. How perfect I want this to be. Since it has to really count- hey!"

Buffy pulled away and spun around on the slick porcelain to face him. "This is not the last time, Spike. It is NOT. I- you are my gift. You are my gift, you said I brought you back to life. You brought _me _back to life. We don't just get thrown together like that, work like that to find each other and let it get taken away."

"Luv, I agree, but I jus' don't want to leave anything out, y'know? In case?"

Buffy's motions were so sudden and hard they were almost violent. She braced his neck in her hands and glared into his eyes, trying to ignore that her vision was blurred with unshed tears of worry. "You never leave me. It was a promise. You always keep the promises you make to your ladies."

Spike eased her hands off of him, nodding slowly. "That I do."

"This isn't the last time. This is the first time of a lot more times." She whispered, her voice suddenly quaking. "R-remember I said I didn't know if I could even stay in bed with you, afterwards? For more than fifteen minutes or something?"

"Couldn't take bein' held." He nodded, saddened at the memory.

"Now I want you to hold me for the rest of my life. Romeo and Juliet already died- but we came back. No. More. Dying." Her face suddenly crumbled. "No more. No more, no more, no more." And the tears flooded free.

"Shhh. Shhh. I promise. I won't leave my Juliet, alright?" Spike whispered. "Come on, Luv, don't cry. I hate to see you cry." He kissed her tears away hurriedly, frantically tasting the salty sweet drops and getting more desperate with each moment to comfort her.

"More. Hold me, don't let me go. I'm not letting you go." Buffy slid herself up onto his lap with a ferocious, clinging hug, kissing him, biting him gently on his neck and jaw.

"Slayer, God, you'll get me started..." He leaned his neck back more and Buffy instinctively bit his jugular. "Oh Christ."

"I just need you in me." She begged. And he was, grinding their pelvises together as he stretched her open and filled her completely. He was long and thick, more noticeably than usual at this angle. "Like that, in every part. All the empty spaces are gone."

"All of mine are too." He smiled up at her between bouts of kisses and nips on her breasts and collarbone.

"You had empty spots?"

"Bloody gaping one. Said 'Buffy' on it in pretty red letters." He snarled passionately as she suddenly plunged onto him hard. "Easy, you'll hurt yourself."

"No. It feels good to be so close to you, have you so far in." She shook her head, frantically, her eyes glazed.

"You're close?"

"So close."

Spike cupped her cheeks and used them to guide her up and down his length at a furious speed. "Luv- tell me you trust me?"

"I trust you with everything that matters. No, with everything. I trust you with everything, 'cause you love me and you'd never hurt me." She gasped, head thrown back.

He watched her face, what he could see of it, thrown back as it was, and moved the fingers of one hand in further from the fleshy pad of her cheek to the hollow between her legs. He stole some of the sweet, slick honey pooling at her spread entrance and rubbed it all over the cleft between her cheeks.

Buffy didn't freeze, but her breathing changed and she looked down at him with wide eyes. The passionate glaze was clearing, replaced by nervous anticipation.

"Trust me." He whispered. She nodded, and he felt her try to move off of him, free his cock. "No. Not that. Not tonight." She relaxed visibly. "Just ride me like you were." He beamed up at her, eyes not leaving hers.

"You really want to do that?" Buffy whispered as his finger slid up and down between her cheeks.

"I'd like to see if you like it. How's it feel on the outside?"

"G-good." She stumbled over the word.

He didn't even grin at the catch in her voice. "Kiss me." He pulled her forward and trapped her in a long searching kiss, jerking his hips forward into her harder and harder, waiting for her to give in to her climax. When she did, he'd slip in.

Buffy forgot that the sensation of his finger pushing and teasing her sensitive flesh was new and taboo and kinky. At least to her. The sensation of his tip, so hard and so full against her g-spot was more than familiar, it was heavenly. "I love you!"

"Love you, too. Cum for me, Baby." He urged, and she obeyed, suddenly clamping down with a wail and sitting down hard on him. His finger pushed into her tight, unexplored passage at the same time.

Buffy's wail broke in the middle and then resumed, more frantic, her hips bucking in a sudden renewal of need.

"Christ, yes. Yes, Luv, rock like that." Spike grit his teeth to keep from releasing. _She's fuckin' my finger. She's actually ridin' my finger with her tight little virgin hole, and cumming on my cock with her sweet little pussy._

Buffy could hear him muttering through his locked jaws, and could feel him swelling painfully inside her, but not bursting. She knew what would send him over the edge. Either something naughty, or something deep. Because she failed at naughty most of the time, she went for meaningful. "See how much I trust you, love you, want you?"

"Ohhhhh. Unnnngh, holy fuck, Buffy!" Spike's orgasm ripped out of him and his demon ripped his human features away. As he groaned he was amazed to feel her warm, wet mouth clamping to his, tongue tangling with his, even though he was in demon form. It still amazed him.

"I love you." She reminded him, looking at his amazed yellow eyes.

"I know. I love you, too."

He was still hard, and she could feel the swelling tremor of another release in both of them. She decided to do something about it. This time she appealed to the Spike side, the rougher, coarser side. "No one ever touched me inside. There." She whispered in his ear and blushed hotly, avoided meeting his eyes.

"Is it good, Kitten?"

"Weird, but good. Um. Owie. A little owie, not-not a big one." She held him tighter, not wanting him to move and look at her.

"Let me get out then. It shouldn't hurt, just be tight." He slowly slipped from her and she rolled her hips on his still hard cock.

"Someday will you be my first? There?" She deliberately nipped his earlobe and made her voice huskier.

"O- only if you want that." Spike's human featured descended slowly into place, and he lost control inside her again.

"I think anything we do is still making love. I see that. I like that." Buffy whispered easing out of their messy union.

"I promise you that."

"And you keep those promises, I know." Buffy let him run a soapy wash cloth over their sweetly sticky areas and then they stepped out, and dried off.

"Let's rest a little an' I'll show you another way to make love." Spike moved tiredly with her.

"It's a deal. I'm looking forward to waking up."

"Wonders will never cease."

Giles woke up, stiff and with a pain in his shoulder. A chorus of singing knights and loud music greeted his bleary eyes. "Bloody hell." He had fallen asleep on the sofa. He moved his arm with a wince, wondering why it was flung back over the couch- and a soft small body toppled against his chest.

Oh. Right. They hadn't been able to sleep, in spit of exhaustion. So they were down here, on the couch, sitting up and watching movies. He must have fallen asleep first, and in their sleep, they'd snuggled closer. "Dawn?"

"Shhhh. Sleeping." Dawn thumped him on the stomach with a weak hand.

He laughed. "In for a penny, in for a pound." He sighed, tugged the afghan off the arm of the sofa and spread it over both of them. He eased his arm down, hissing as the stiff muscles complained. "I'm putting my arm down. On your back. Is that okay?"

"Yes. Shut up about it though." She poked him more firmly in the stomach.

"You're a pain, Dawn Summers."

"Am not."

"Are."

"Giles. Shhhh."

With a weary smile, he shushed.

Anya woke up slowly, and patted Xander's arm as it lay across her side. He always spooned with her. She loved that. But that wasn't why she was waking up. Spike was on her mind.

How do you get small minded, selfish idiots to play fair? Anya got to her feet and looked out at the slowly lightening sky. She imagined that soon Riley would call Buffy and Spike. They'd rush to some secret lab. And then- once he was opened up, it was easy to say something went wrong.

Anya didn't distrust that Riley would try and help. It was just the natural doubt she had about most people, men in particular. Men like Riley especially. With all of his power and connections and secret operative stuff, he had very few weak spots, very few bargaining chips.

But he had one. And one would be enough.

"We took a longer nap than I thought." Buffy yawned and wrapped her legs around Spike's, kissing his bare back as she curled behind him.

"Needed it." Spike rolled onto his back, placing his arm around her shoulders. "How's my girl?"

Buffy thought for a moment. "A little nervy. I'd love to just go pound on Riley's door and shake a doctor out of him."

"I don't think he's got one in him. His head might be up his ass, but-" He stopped when Buffy scraped her nails down his underarm, finding a soft spot where he was ticklish. "Oi! Stop that. We agreed, no ticklin' me, I can't be the imposing character I am if I'm ticklish!"

"I only did it so you'd shut up." Buffy giggled.

"Two can play at that game." Spike growled and they had a pleasant battle of wills turned wrestling match on the bed, rolling over and over, fighting to pin their lover. Spike finally won when they rolled one too many times and ended up on the floor. "Ha. I win."

"I let you." Buffy huffed petulantly.

"Didn't." He smirked, and slowly raised her hands above her head, not letting her go. "Your mind off your troubles, Pet?" He asked in a husky voice.

"Uh-huh. Onto a whole new set." Buffy gasped out as his fingers tightened. She could push him off if she wanted to, she reminded herself. But she didn't really want to. She'd arched her back slightly as he put his weight on his hands, locking hers down.

"You look so beautiful, Luv." Spike murmured. She did, stretched out like that, under him. With half-lidded, green and gold eyes trusting him. His fingers tightened once more, experimentally. She wriggled but didn't pull. "Oh, Slayer. Beautiful Buffy." He breathed out her names unnecessarily, and slid his mouth onto hers.

This was making her way wetter than normal. Buffy pulled her heels up over Spike's slim waist and lifted her hips as they shared a long heated kiss. Okay, so it wasn't subtle, and it wasn't very foreplay-ish, but she was so hot right now. _'Cause I like him holding me like this._ Her inner slayer, less and less mouthy as their love grew, made a little howl of protest. _You like letting a vampire make you submit, hold you down, make you weak? What will you do when the chip is gone? Right now you're safe. Then you could be lunch._

Her wet heat burned the underside of his shaft as he pressed on top of her. He let go of her wrists so he could adjust himself to get inside. With a soft, mutual grunt, they were one. "Feel amazin'."

"You, too." Buffy whispered. She hadn't moved her hands much, just down slightly. She was waiting to see what he would do.

Spike closed his eyes and let her heat engulf him. His hands slid worshipfully up and down her ribs and cupped her round cheeks on the down stroke, cupped her soft breasts on the climb, and then traveled up to lace his fingers gently with her hands again. As he started to thrust into her, his grip locked, and pressed her petite hands into the floor. "You alright?" He whispered. the first acknowledgement that he might be holding her in a different position.

"I'm fine." Buffy panted, legs tightening eagerly around his hips to bring him in deeper.

"Good." He smiled before his head was thrown back in an agony of pleasure, just sinking into her and feeling her move beneath him. "I love you. God, Luv, never thought it'd be like this."

"Like what?" Buffy asked with the small part of her brain that wasn't drowning in lust juice.

"You an' me would be together like this. Lovin' each other." He bent his lips to her ear. "That I could hold you and you'd let me."

"I'm- I'm not-" Buffy tried to explain herself, and failed, just flexed her fingers under his, and his grip slackened immediately.

"Am I hurtin' your hands? We should get on the bed." He was quickly up, removing himself with a groan, and falling back on her eagerly as soon as they were on the bed. This time his hands lazily tangled in her hair, and they rocked slowly, forehead to forehead.

"I let you?" She whispered.

"What, Sweetlet?"

"You said that you'd hold me, and I'd let 'd you mean?"

"Your hands." Spike wished she wouldn't over think everything. But she always would, he supposed. Life was better now, but it didn't erase the past.

"I could've pushed you off." Buffy whispered, a tiny edge in her tone.

"I know that." Spike's eyes widened "Didn't think you- I didn't think I was makin' you worry about the need to push me off."

"Inner slayer crap." She shrugged.

"Ah. Pinnin' you makes me the champion?"

"Not so much. More like makes me the dinner."

"Tell your inner slayer that there's a difference between holding hands while makin' love to the person you want to be with for all of your unlife, than holding you down. I wasn't holdin' you_ down_, Luv. But I was holdin' you _tight._ I never want to let you go, see?"

Buffy did see. She looked into the stormy blue eyes above hers, their lips brushing as they talked, they were so close, so at ease together now. "I liked it. Because I belonged to you. Not owned." She reminded him sharply. "Belonging. To. Or maybe with."

"Belongin' is good." Spike wrapped his arms around her and burrowed in, feeling her tighten and gasp. He licked a trickle of sweat from the edge of her throat. "It's mutual." He bit softly down with his human teeth, worrying the soft skin of her throat to leave a love bite.

"You were going to do more of that." Buffy whimpered into his touch, fingers clutching his tousled platinum hair.

"Yeah... if you're sure?"

"I'm sure."

Spike paused, demon dancing inside wanting to come out and get down to it, and inner man suffering from pesky curiosity. "Is it 'cause we're seizin' the day? Worried about what Soldier Boy might tell us?"

"No. I told you I'd like to try it- before then. Remember, we were in the alley last night, before we heard anything bad." She took a deep breath. "You said it was a bond. I'd like to bond." She tugged his chin up so they could look into each other's eyes. "Show me how?"

"I will, Pet." Spike felt as though his heart, silent though it was, was pounding, every nerve reverberating. "Gotta promise one thing."

"What?" Buffy's eyes were starting to dilate in pleasure.

"Don't say mine, or yours, even if you really want to."

"Say what now?" She asked, puzzled.

"Claim words. Don't- don't say those words. Or you're linked up to me an' you can't get free. We'd always be together." Spike told her, an element of wistfulness breaking through, in spite of how serious he tried to sound.

"I thought you wanted that." Buffy whispered.

"I do! More than anything in the universe, I'd love that. But I was warnin' you. 'Cause I didn't think you would." He trailed off softly.

A whirlwind of conflicting thoughts raced through Buffy's mind. _Always together, unable to leave, unable to lose one another, definite perks. But what if he slips, without the chip? He won't do that. Trust him. Love him. Never quit on him, like he never quit on you. But make sure he knows why you want it._ "Maybe not_ yet._"

"You want to see if this chip thing works?" Spike nodded in understanding.

"No." Buffy smiled up at him. "I want you to know I didn't do it because of anything but the fact that _I love you_. I believe in you, and I won't leave you, anyway. Like you didn't leave me. I don't need some special words to make me yours. I'm just going to be...well, _yours_." Buffy giggled despite the gravity of her admission. Spike was just staring at her. She didn't know a jaw could open so wide. "You never had your tonsils out, I see." She remarked teasingly., closing his mouth with her fingertips.

"Hm?" Spike blinked, and then shook his head, clearing it. "You did just say all that, right? 'Cause sometimes I have dreams, jus' like that, only there's usually blood and champagne an' neither of us has to get up to get Bit off to school." He scrambled out a sentence, and she giggled more.

"You're so sexy when you smile and get all panicky. Panicked in a cute way, not in a big problem way."

"Buffy! Tell me. Say it, Luv."

"I am already yours. I am not going to leave you, just like you don't leave me. I must be insane." She teased him.

"Don't joke." He growled.

"Okay. No joking. I'm yours, Spike. I belong to, or with, Mr. William S. Blood. I'm not leaving, with or without little claim wordy thingys."

"You mean it?"

"I mean it!" Buffy promised, kissing him hard.

"Oh, Christ, Luv. Pinch me. Pinch me, I want to make sure I'm awake." Spike kissed her back, desperately, speaking into her mouth as she continued her soft laughter, biting at her lips. Buffy bit down on his lower lip ferociously. "Bloody hell!" He jumped back slightly.

"You're awake. And you're all mine." Buffy resumed their earlier rhythm pushing her pelvis up to his to encourage him to so the same.

Spike needed very little encouragement, a happy litany coursing through his head as he gave into her soft, clinging body. _She's mine. She's going to be mine, for real, forever. I'll be hers. Her guy, her boyfriend, her man, her husband if she wants to, her mate if she doesn't. The chip will come out an' we'll be together, her an' me. For a long, long time. Maybe literally forever. If I'm claimed by her- do I get a bit of a soul? I'll get to go to heaven with her one day, if I share her soul. Won't matter, will it? She loves me without it and if a berk like Angelus can fight his way through hell to get back to her, I sure as hell can fight may way up to heaven. Drop the demon off in some hell dimension, he'll be well looked after, an' I'll spend eternity with my Buffy._

"Spike? You still with me?" Buffy gasped out. He was looking right at her, but through her, like he was watching some world unfold inside his mind, behind her eyes. Maybe he was.

"I'll _always_ be with you." Spike swore. "Luv, remember Valentine's Day?"

"The only good one I've had since I was five? Yeah." She grinned at him, head cocked slightly, not sure why he was bringing it up just now.

"That bloke in the movie said somethin' I want you to remember. 'Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.' If I ever go away, if somethin' goes wrong with this chip-ectomy- I'll be back for you."

"You're not going anywhere." Buffy whispered. "I won't let you. I'm keeping you." She suddenly blushed. "I sound whiny and silly."

"You sound like you're in love and you want me." Spike argued.

"That's true." Buffy sank her fingers into his shoulders and pulled his head to line up with hers, cheek to cheek. She could feel cool puffs of air on her skin, he was breathing hard, even though he didn't need to breathe. He was supercharged, over the edge. And she was following him. He might be able to see a world when he looked in her eyes, she could hear it in his desperate grunts, feel it in the air he wasn't supposed to breathe. _It won't matter. Any of it. Who's alive, who's dead, it won't matter. We're going to be together, somehow. Never leaving. All of him belongs with all of me._

He wasn't sure if his bite triggered the orgasm, if the orgasm triggered the bite. He knew he was supposed to wait and be slow and gentle, urge her to a sexual frenzy that would render the bite painless. Didn't happen. Didn't seem to matter.

It was like getting her ear pierced, a short, sharp plunge. But when you got a hole put in your ear, it was all over after the punch. Here- here it was like his cock and his teeth were working as a team to turn her inside out, the one plunging in as the other drew out. A wave of heat from her loins to her lips made her scream and shudder, clinging to him. "My Spike." She panted out, because it was close to "mine" as she could get.

"My Buffy. Oh, God, my Buffy." Spike came as he slurped down one more gullet of her blood and then sealed her with short, sharp strokes of his crimson coated tongue. "Slayer blood is an aphrodisiac." He licked his lips and raised himself up on his wrists, looking down at her with a mixture of unadulterated lust and deep love.

"So is being bitten. If the guy knows what he's doing." Buffy realized as she felt a tidal wave of need hit her. It was worse than being trapped in the Lowell House, where an enormous frustrated sexual energy had invaded her. This was twice that. If she didn't get to have Spike, right now, hard and completely, she would go crazy.

"We can go all day." Spike grinned savagely.

"Or until the phone rings." She rolled on top of him, pinning him this time, and impaling herself on his still hard cock.

"Better make the most of it." Spike looked up at her adoringly. "Thank you, Luv."

"Don't thank me." Buffy looked at him with equal infatuation. "I think this is just what we're supposed to do."

"Anything with you an' me is what we're supposed to do." Spike squeezed her hands in his own.

"Agreed." Buffy leaned forward and kissed him. "As long as it's us."

"It'll always be us."

_To be continued..._


	8. Chapter 8

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives.___

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Dlillith21, Ginar369, Good for the Soul and lambean._

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part VIII

"Mornin'." Spike rolled over and met Buffy's eyes. "You're awake."

"I was watching you." She murmured quietly.

"That makes a change." Spike stroked her hair. "I usually watch _you _sleep."

"You're pretty when you sleep." Buffy grinned.

"An' I'm ugly when I'm awake?" He teased.

"No! No, not at all. You're always very beautiful." Buffy's eyes suddenly welled up. "Beautiful."

"Oh, Luv... don't. Don't. Everything's going to be fine." Spike wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her tighter to him. "Just fine."

"Ry? Any luck?" Sam sat up in bed, pulling a sheet around her. Her husband of just five months sat beside her on the bed, naked, muscular form hunched over a cell phone and scribbling on a piece of hotel stationary.

"Uh, well, luck might be stretching it." Riley sighed with a weary smile.

"Did you sleep at all?" Same rubbed his back with a worried hand.

"Yeah. Some. It took me about twelve calls to find someone who could even find someone who could tell where any of the old doctors were. Then it took me another ten calls to find one who was alive or uninjured or in the country." Riley groaned and flopped down, holding the paper above his head. "But I got someone. They're going to fly him in, military emergency clearance, high speed chopper, the works. In a few hours he should be in from the base in Arizona."

"Well, that's good then. You'll call Buffy and they'll meet the doctor, and then her boyfriend won't die."

"Yeah, that's good. I guess."

"Riley!"

"No, Honey, I don't want him to die and break her heart. But I don't like the thought of taking the chip out. I'm letting a serial killer go free. I should've killed him when I had the chance."

"Why didn't you?" Sam asked curiously.

"Buffy- Buffy makes you do strange things. Her world is all shades of gray." Riley sighed heavily. "You get into it, and you start looking at things a different way. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's really bad. She defended Spike- she hated him. But he was helpless. He helped, but he betrayed, back and forth, back and forth all the time, God!" Riley slammed his fist into the mattress with a thump. "So frustrating."

"Especially for someone like you." Sam laughed. "So, that's all? You didn't want to hurt him because you knew Buffy wouldn't like it?"

"No... no, I couldn't kill him, because when I finally had the chance, he'd caught me doing something I wasn't proud of. No, more than that, I was in the wrong, he was in the right, and Buffy knew it. Plus, he knew what I was feeling. He really does think he's in love with her. But he knew, well he _said_ he knew, that he'd never have a chance with her. But he had to try." Riley's voice faded into silence.

"And it worked for him. Are you wishing you stayed, kept trying?" Sam asked, staring at the ceiling, almost afraid to look at him.

"No. Absolutely no." Riley rolled over and looked down on his gorgeous, swarthy beauty. "Because then I wouldn't have met you. And you're my one true love. Plus, totally love the sanity."

Sam giggled and put her arms around his neck. "I agree. Sanity is in very short supply in this town."

"I vote we don't come here for vacations." Riley kissed her. "There's just one thing we're going to have to do, that probably won't go over well."

"What's that?" Sam kissed him back.

"We're going to have to get into the Initiative's old lab. That's the only place where we could perform surgery."

"I thought you said they burnt it."

"They did. It isn't fit for human use."

"Good thing he isn't human."

"Ha. I don't think you should say that in front of Buffy or Dawn."

"Cripes!" Giles woke up with a start as sunlight slitted through his blinds and hit him in the eyes.

"Huh?" Dawn sat up hurriedly, and promptly toppled off the couch. "Ow!"

"School! You have school!" Giles found his glasses on the coffee table.

"I'm not going." Dawn replied, hoisting herself up.

"You have to go!"

"I do not. Spike might be having surgery today. And I will be there."

"But, the child services people-"

" I. Will. Be. There." Dawn placed her hand on Giles' chest firmly, glaring into his eyes.

Giles sighed and patted her hand. "Find me the number for your school."

"I know it by heart. I called myself out a lot." Dawn grinned mischievously and picked up the phone.

"Oh, really!" Giles looked aghast.

"Don't pretend, _Ripper_. You probably did a lot worse." Dawn dialed the number.

"I did, actually." Giles pursed his lips as he tried not to smile. "Hand me the phone."

"Listen carefully." A soft hiss crossed the phone lines.

"Anya?" Tara held the phone away, and then pulled it back to her ear. "Anya, why are you whispering?"

"So Xander doesn't wake up."

"Why can't Xander wake up?" Tara waved Willow over to the phone.

"Because he might not like my idea. But it's a good idea. And what part of 'listen carefully' didn't you get?"

"What's going on?" Willow muttered against the back of the receiver.

"I'll tell you, if you'd just listen to me!" Anya's hiss rose to firecracker fuse proportions.

"Okay, okay, we're listening."

"I want you to promise to help me. I call upon the solidarity of women and all sorts of other feminine crap."

"This doesn't sound good." Willow whispered.

"It's Anya. It's always a toss up." Tara smiled.

"You're not listening. I can wait." Anya sing songed.

"We're sorry, go ahead."

"Okay. Here's my idea..."

"Do it _where_?" Buffy screeched into the phone.

"It's the only option." Riley tried to placate her.

"I'm not bringing Spike there."

"If you want the chip out, you'll bring him there."

"Give me that." Spike took the phone. "Cardboard?"

"Hostile?"

"Where is this goin' down?"

"The old Initiative labs."

"Bloody hell." Spike winced.

"I don't have another option." Riley said calmly, through gritted teeth.

"I'm coming with him. All of us are. If you try anything..." Buffy's voice sounded over the extension.

"I won't try anything! God! Buffy, think for a minute. Would I want something annoying as Spike on a road trip with me?"

"The best people do." Spike purred smugly.

"We won't try anything. Give us a couple hours and I'll meet you in front of your house." Riley hung up.

Buffy trailed back to where Spike was holding the phone. "A couple hours." She said with a brave smile.

"Then we'll be all fixed up, Luv." Spike returned her brave face.

"Yeah. What's the- what's the first thing you want to do when it's out?" Buffy asked. "Oh, wait. No, sorry, that's probably a bad area to visit, isn't it? Because you won't be doing anything differently, right?" She twisted her fingers anxiously.

"Can I do one little act of violence?" Spike asked with a smirk.

"What?" Buffy couldn't help but smile her lopsided grin.

"Can I punch Finn in the nose?"

Buffy bit her lip. "Once."

"Once is enough." Spike rubbed his hands. "Just one good punch."

"You fantasize about that. I'm going to call the gang." Buffy hugged him and walked off, murmuring under her breath. "And load my crossbows. And see if Giles minds if I maim humans as long as they don't die. I have to ask him if that will get his Watcher pay docked or something."

"If you told me last year I'd be here to back up Spike from Riley, I'd have slapped you in the looney bin faster than Popeye downs a can of spinach." Xander parked his car on the street, and Anya leaped out.

"Uh- huh, things change." She nodded absently.

"I guess so." He sighed, and then looked at his fiancée. "Why do you have all the wedding stuff with you?"

"Well, I need something to do during the operation. R-remember when Joyce had her surgery? The waiting was the worst part." Anya answered hastily.

"I don't think all of us should go down there. We need a back up team. In case." Xander looked nervous.

"Good plan!" Anya said enthusiastically. Xander raised his eyebrows. "It is! We need a - a what do they call it in the military? A second front?"

"Or a second wave." Xander rang the bell.

Dawn opened the door.

"Dawnster? No school?"

"Family emergency." Dawn jerked her head towards Spike, who sat moodily pulling on a cigarette, Buffy perched on the arm of the couch beside him.

"Ah." The couple nodded sagely.

"Buffy, this is silly, Luv. All of you don't need to come babysit me. Buffy an' I can handle it." Spike tossed his cigarette in the ashtray and stood angrily.

"We're coming with you." Dawn said warningly.

"You should have your rear in a desk, Bit!" Spike glared at her.

"No." Dawn said mulishly.

"Let her stay." Giles said softly. "She's too worried for you to concentrate."

"Are we late? Are we late?" Willow and Tara flew in the door, panting.

"No. Everyone is completely, unnecessarily on time." Spike groaned. "An' I wish all of you would jus' stop starin' at me, like I'm a condemned man! It's goin' to be fine. Jus' fine!" Spike slunk past the gang in the living room and into the kitchen. In a minute, they heard the basement door slam.

"He's- I'm sorry. He's upset." Buffy apologized.

"He's kinda under pressure." Willow nodded understandingly, eyes big and round with worry. "Buffy..."

"It'll be okay. I'll go- I can help him." Buffy began to leave the room.

"Hey, Buffy, wait." Willow put her hand on her friend's arm. "I know everything is going to be just fine. I mean, Riley- he did jerky stuff, but he's not a bad guy-" Dawn rolled her eyes and snorted. Willow frowned and waved her to shush. "But just in case the other people helping with the operation aren't so nice, I was thinking- maybe Tara and Anya and I could wait here. We could be the back up plan. In case- in case something goes wrong and you need rescuing."

"Yeah. Good idea." Buffy only half-listened.

"That's what I said." Xander joined in excitedly.

"You guys organize it. Dawn and I are going. Everyone else- work it out." Buffy distractedly patted Giles and Xander on the shoulders as she passed them and hurried to the basement.

"Hey." Spike was sprawled on a sleeping bag, smoking again.

"Hey." Buffy came and sat beside him.

Neither of them said anything for a moment. Then Buffy poked his shoulder lightly. "Do you know what this reminds me of?"

"What's that, Luv?" Spike gave her a melancholy smile.

"When you used to come sit with me on the porch. Or in the alley. Anywhere, really. And not say anything. Just sit with me."

"First time in my life I managed to keep still." Spike chuckled.

"Yeah. I'm pretty impressive, making you shut up." She teased.

"That you are." Spike reached out and took her hand. "Sorry I got ratty."

"I understand. You're worried. And operations are never fun, not even in a nice hospital with nice people."

"True." Spike sat up. "I'm not used to your lot circlin' the wagons for me. They've done it before, mind, it's just- this time I think they want to. Makes me feel all prickly." Spike shivered and twitched his shoulders.

"That they care?"

"I dunno if it's me they care for so much as you an' Niblet, but, yeah." He shrugged.

"I think it's both. They care about all of us." Buffy leaned into him desperately. "I care about you. Dawn does. Please come back upstairs and spend some time with her. We know nothing's going to happen, all of us know it." Her mouth worked for a second but no words came out.

Spike gave her a sad, twisted half grin. "Except none of us really know it at all, isn't that right?"

Buffy nodded, scooting into his arms. "I can't lose you."

"No, well, I already lost you, and it damn near killed me properly." Spike rose with sudden vigor. "So no one's gettin' lost today."

"Are you feeling less hormonal now?" Anya asked as Spike came up the stairs, stomping, determined looking.

"Yeah, Anya. Much less hormonal." Spike grinned. "Nice of you lot to turn up." He said casually, not quite looking at anybody.

"Well, of course we'd turn up!" Tara cried. "You'd turn up for us."

"Thanks." Spike looked mildly flustered, and took solace in Buffy's hand.

"We've got it planned out, who's going where." Dawn spoke up, taking his free hand.

She never got to explain. Spike stiffened and looked towards the door with a disgusted frown. "White Bread's here."

"Here." Dawn woodenly walked over, got Spike's duster, and handed it to him.

He bundled up and peered at the group before pulling it over his face. " I expect chicken soup an' the top shelf spirits when I get back. Recouperatin' man's rights."

"I suppose we could run to one bottle." Giles gave him a grudging smile, trying not to focus too hard on Buffy or Dawn's stricken, anxious faces.

"A-and I'll do the soup. I swing a mean can opener." Willow patted his arm awkwardly. Spike winked at her, and then Tara.

"Let's get this over with." Spike huffed suddenly.

"Everything is going to be fine. I save the world. I can handle one egomaniac with a liquid diet." Buffy took his arm with a death grip and tried to joke.

"That's right. Best insurance in the world." Spike pulled down his collar enough to kiss her forehead. "See you when I get back. Doubt they have rehab on site."

"I wouldn't let you stay in it if they did." Dawn crossed her arms. "Giles, hand me that crossbow on the dining room table?"

"Bit-" Spike looked at her warningly.

"Save it." She said hoarsely. "It's payback. You always protect me."

"Make sure the safety's on." Spike relented, and Xander opened the door- right as Riley knocked.

"Oh! Hi." Riley said. "Uh- the doctor's here. He- er- they - have the lab opened up. They have to clean up some-"

"Dead bodies?" Buffy said nastily.

"Operating equipment." Riley sighed in exasperation.

"Where's Sam?" Anya asked suddenly.

"Huh? Oh. She's typing our reports at the hotel."

"Oh. Where'd you guys end up staying?" Tara asked with her normal gentle sweetness. Riley relaxed slightly.

"The Sunny Days Inn. It's not much, but we'll leave today. After the procedure." Riley reached a hand out to Buffy. "I promise. Everything is going to be okay. This guy is really good. And Spike's hard to kill." He threw Spike a reluctant smile.

"You should know." Dawn mumbled. Giles put a soothing hand on her back.

"Nothing's going to get done standing here." Xander said with grim determination. "G-Man? Offer you a ride?"

"I'll drive. My car is more -reliable- than yours. We'll follow you." Giles nodded to Buffy.

"I'll lead." Riley headed out the door.

Giles and Xander followed him out, and Dawn hung back, waiting for her family. Anya suddenly threw herself at Spike with an awkward sniffle. "It's going to be okay. No really." Spike met her eyes and saw here's twinkle with some secret knowledge. "It's going to be _okay_." She repeated in a whisper.

"Right." He said shortly, a puzzled smile on his face. Willow and Tara patted his arms as he passed, and then he had to run, out across the sunlit porch and dive into the back of the car. Dawn flew behind him, blanket in one hand, to cover him up.

"See you guys." Buffy hoarsely whispered to the trio of females remaining on the steps of her house.

"We'll be waiting for good news, okay?" Willow encouraged.

"He has the best defender in the world looking after him." Tara squeezed her hand.

"I have to defend him." Buffy sucked in a deep breath of air and then smiled bravely. "You realize by tomorrow he'll be able to defend himself and us against anything? That's good, right?"

A few weeks ago, there would have been an uncomfortable pause after that question. Now the wiccan pair nodded firmly and Anya gave an enthusiastic "Absolutely!"

"Okay then. I'm gone. We'll call if anything goes wrong. At least- well- Riley has that phone thingy on his belt, so yeah, we'll be able to call, even if the lab doesn't have phones that work. They must though. 'Cause if they can operate they have to have a phone. If they have an operating room, they have to something as basic as a phone, right? Oh, God." Buffy rambled faster and faster as they approached the Jeep. "Oh, God, oh God, I hate this, Will."

"Shhh. I know. But you have to do this. Think about it. If you do this, Spike's going to be able to be with you for a long, long time. If not-" Willow squeezed her friend's arm again and pushed her into the car. "Nobody wants the 'if not'."

"I know. I'm just scared." Buffy confessed in a broken little voice. _In heaven there was no fear. No worry. No scared about what happens next._ She reached her hand into the backseat as Tara shut the door for her. Spike's cool grip found hers and his head popped from under the blankets with a cheeky smirk. _In heaven there was no him, either._

"Don't be scared, Luv. Bit and you are right fierce together. I'm in good hands."

Buffy and Dawn smiled wordlessly at him and then at each other.

"Better take the car out of park, Pet." Spike said with a flicker of amusement. Buffy made a startled exclamation and then they were off, a convoy following a government issue SUV, with a red convertible bringing up the rear.

"You do know that if the government wants to kill him or take him, the four of us probably can't do anything, right?" Xander asked as Giles drove.

"We're most likely outnumbered, and they have all the firepower you can dream of." Giles said grimly.

"But, in we go." Xander sighed. "Where leadeth the Buffster, there followeth I."

"Very poetic." Giles shook his head. There was a pause.

"Anya's gonna kill me if I die." Xander remarked nervously.

"Very likely."

"Right before the wedding, too."

"Xander, no one is going to die." Giles said severely. "We have two things in our favor."

"Well, we have Buffy, the Slayer, that's usually enough to take out most apocalypses and big nasties." Xander leaned back in his seat. "What's the other one?"

"Sheer bloody desperation. Buffy and Dawn can't lose anything else. Even Slayers are breakable. Young women without super powers, maybe more so."

"So we have to win, because we won't just lose him, we lose them." Xander reiterated aloud.

"And I'm _not _losing them." Giles' fingers tightened on the wheel.

"This is a bad idea." Willow muttered,climbing into Xander's car. "Mainly because I know how you drive."

"Shh. I'm better now. I've been practicing. Xander and I have been playing 'The Co-Ed and the Driving Instructor' and-"

"Stop! Stopstopstop." Willow said frantically.

"Your girlfriend is repressed." Anya said conversationally to Tara.

"She is not!" Tara exclaimed. "Just- not interested in hearing that story." The car jerked forward and Tara nervously tightened her seatbelt. "One of us should stay here. In case they do call. For backup."

"This won't take long if we do it right. She really seemed to like talking about her wedding. It's a recent bride thing. I'm going to talk about my wedding for years."

"Yes, don't change the habit." Willow sighed.

"Maybe we should have told one of them what we were doing." Tara leaned forward.

"That won't work. If they knew about it, Riley could blame them. Better if it's just us." Anya smiled and made an illegal left on red.

"Anya!" Willow shouted. "That truck almost hit us!"

"You worry too much. Cars make turns on red all the time."

"Right turns." Tara reminded feebly. "Willow, how much further to this hotel?"

"Not far. Thank God." Willow muttered under her breath.

"I heard that!"

Dawn couldn't take the pervasive silence of the car, nor could she think of any words to break it. She turned the radio on, ignoring Buffy's glare, and turned the station to Spike's favorite hard rock and punk station.

_I would die for you_

_I would die for you_

_I've been dying just to -_

"Turn it off. Turn it off!" Buffy smacked the button on the dashboard frantically.

"It's only a song. Bloody good song." Spike soothed. "From _Romeo an' Juliet_- we heard it on Valentine's Day, remember, Luv?"

"I hate it! I hate that word! My whole life is about that word,_ your _whole lives are about that word!" Buffy followed Riley's SUV into a wooded area as she vented her frustration with a torn shout and flooded eyes. "Dying and killing! Killing things and killing people and dead things shouldn't still be alive, still be here." Buffy gasped out, jerking the car to a halt in the clearing.

"If we weren't still movin' about, we wouldn't be together." Spike took off his blanket and sat up, the shady grove protecting him from direct sunlight. "Had to come back, Luv, or we wouldn't have each other." Spike caught her as she scrambled over the seat, into his arms. Dawn looked on.

"I'm tired of being the strong one. I can't be strong anymore, I- I let you help me, and now- and now... I'm scared, Spike, I'm sorry. My whole life is men leaving me, and people dying..."

"Not today. Today it's about living longer." Dawn whispered.

"That's my girl." Spike murmured, holding open his arm, silently inviting her to join them. "_Both_ my girls."

"Here we go." Riley looked at something on the screen of one of his many devices and entered some numbers on its keypad. In a moment, a rumbling sound was heard.

From the floor of the forest, the terrain seemed to shift, until it was revealed that part of the hilly area was housing a well concealed elevator shaft. "Thought they burned this place down." Riley remarked to no one in particular.

"Guess not." Xander sighed.

"Oh, they did." A burly man appeared in the shaft. "I'm Sgt. Thurston. We've had one hell of a lot of clean up to do for you, Agent Finn."

"We appreciate it." Riley extended his hand and the two uniformed men shook.

"Tweedle Dee an' Tweedle Dum." Spike groused softly.

"Don't annoy the nice people drilling a hole in your head, Dummy." Dawn hissed.

"Dr. Evans is set up. Where's the offender?"

"He's not an offender!" Buffy cried. Everyone stared at her, incredulous, even Spike. "He's not! Right now." She added quietly.

"He's working with Miss Summers, and you know we owe her one." Riley interjected, voice heavy with significance.

"I do know. I've heard about what you did." Thurston smiled, and motioned all of them into the shaft. With nervous looks, they followed his lead. "I figure we owe you at least ten."

"All I want is this one thing and we'd be glad to never think about you again." Buffy said quickly. "Oh. I mean- oh. That was really rude. I didn't mean to be rude." Buffy put a hand to her cheek.

"Forgive my sister." Dawn sighed.

"Her mouth runneth over." Xander joked to ease the tension. It didn't work. Spike glared and snorted and Giles subtly thinned his lips in a gesture to say no more.

"Let's get this done." Spike growled as the shaft juddered to a halt. There was an acrid smell and a sooty feeling pervading the air. Fire and vampires didn't mix and he felt the small wave of fear in his stomach growing into a torrent.

"We'll have to prep you." Thurston slid open the grate and lead them into a cavernous hall with evident smoke damage.

"What? Las' time you lot tased me, an' strapped me down. Or is that what you mean by prep?"

"It better not be." Buffy leveled her crossbow with such ease that Thurston found it pointing at his stomach before he was even aware she was fishing it from her coat. "Consider me his insurance provider. Prep better mean nothing worse than wearing one of those stupid paper gowns."

"Oh, not that." Spike winced.

"Ma'am, I assure you- we received orders. Finn said we're to do whatever you say regarding Ass-Face."

"What did you call him?" Dawn squawked angrily, showing her own bow.

"I may have been a little frustrated by the time I finally got through to someone helpful." Riley laughed nervously. Spike smirked after a moment of annoyance.

"I've still got it." He purred smugly. "A day in my company an' Finn's lost what little cool he had."

"We can leave." Riley threatened. Spike promptly shut up.

Thurston paused outside a charred looking set of double doors, which belied the bright white crispness of the field hospital setup that had been erected just behind them."So, Ma'am. Your orders, please?"

"My-?Well- he's here so you can fix him!" Buffy cried.

"Fix him. You want us to replace the chip?"

"That's an option?" Xander turned towards Riley suspiciously. "Did you know that was an option?"

"I heard last night." Riley shrugged. "Or early, early this morning."

"How long do these new ones last?" Giles asked, still remaining calm.

"They aren't new, Sir. The government stopped authorizing their manufacture when the Initiative was disbanded. These are leftovers."

"Buffy-" Spike touched her arm, knowing what her answer would be, just letting her know he was comfortable, that he trusted her to do the best for him, for them.

"Take it out." She said firmly.

"Yes, Ma'am. Step inside."

"Wow. Hi! Come in." Sam gestured Anya, Tara, and Willow into the hotel room. "What brings you over here? Is everything okay?"

"We felt bad we weren't very n-nice last night. W-we were really thrown when Riley showed up." Tara stuttered.

"But you seem really great, and we knew you'd just be waiting around, all alone." Willow said hastily, eyes trying not to dart in her anxiety.

"And we were waiting, too. So-" Anya hefted a bright pink and turquoise bag jammed with papers and magazines, "want to talk hair styles and seating arrangements with me, the best man, and one of the bridesmaids?"

"Best man?" Sam looked at the three female visitors.

"It's a long story." Willow nodded.

"She'll tell you." Anya said cheerfully, pulling several magazines out of the bag. "While she does- do you thing I should be looking at up-dos, or go for something flowing and down?"

_I would die for you_

_I would die for you_

_I've been dying just to feel you by my side_

_To know that you're mine_

"This is surreal." Buffy and Spike spent a moment alone in the partition just off the sterile operating area.

"I'll be fine. Las' time I did this I was wide awake, no pain killers,college slap up lab, a kidnapped doc- uh- yeah, lets not go there, right." Spike ended abruptly.

"I know you're going to be fine. I don't know how you can stand the pain though..."

"It's worth it."

"I know. You've been wanting to get this out for a long time." Buffy took his hands as they leaned against the steel table.

"It's not worth it for that, you daft girl." Spike pulled her to his chest. "You really trust me. You love me. You're gonna be mine."

"I was already yours," Buffy whispered against his firm pectoral muscle, in the hollow over his heart.

"But that wasn't all of me. Not the real me. I can still be the man you need, Precious. I can do it on my own."

"I know. I love you. And you and me are going to be fine. We're going to go in there side by side, and leave side by side. More together than ever. More _us _than ever."

"That's why I love you. There's that spark. You never give up."

"I tried. You wouldn't let me." Buffy reminded him.

"An' you'll return the favor."

"You never give up anyway."

"I know. I'm tenacious like that. Got me the girl though, didn't it?"

"It did." Buffy kissed him soundly.

_I will cry for you_

_I will cry for you_

_I will wash away your pain with all my tears_

_And drown your fear_

"Shhh. Shh, Luv." Giles stroked Dawn's hair as she sniffled. "You know you can go in."

"I'll see him when he comes out. Th-they deserve the time alone. In private."

"You're very sweet to them. They're lucky to have you. All of us are." Giles tipped her chin out of her chest, and looked into her tear-filled eyes. "I would do anything to spare you pain..." He whispered softly.

"You being here does that." She looked up at him gratefully.

_I will pray for you_

_I will pray for you_

_I will sell my soul for something pure and true_

_Someone like you_

Buffy took her position on one side, hand in his, Dawn her mirror image. Spike smiled up at them. "Prettiest angels 've ever seen." He muttered, slurring slightly.

"You're sure you can't feel them?" Dawn hissed, pointing with her head towards the surgeon and nurse standing at his head, separated by a thin blue drape sheet stretched over Spike's hairline.

"Oh, I can. A bit."

"We can give you more local." The nurse said. "But eventually it'll impair your brain functioning. After all, that is the area we're working on."

"I can handle it. This is nice. Just a buzz. Like eatin' a hippy."

"Spike. Not a good time." Buffy met the suddenly hard eyes of the nurse and doctor.

"I'm reformed. Got a fam'ly now." Spike explained as he grinned softly, and tightened his grip on both their hands.

Dawn bent her head, smiling at him in silence. In her mind, she was far from silent. _ Dear God, I don't know how you fit into this. I don't know if you listen to me like a girl, or maybe like an equal, 'cause I used to be something powerful. Or maybe I'm nothing to you, maybe I really don't have a soul. But I feel. I feel love and fear, and so does he. Take care of him, okay?_

"We're going to start soon." Evans moved some instruments on the tray and hauled over a large, complicated looking machine. "It's laprascopic technology, Ms. Summers. Er- Ms. Summers and Ms. erm- Summers. Far more comfortable, less invasive."

"Thanks. But you can tell him yourself. I'm just here as a bodyguard." Buffy said sternly.

"Gotta body worth guardin' hey, Pet?" Spike winked at her.

Buffy blinked and laughed. "Yeah. You do. But I'm more interested in the heart, Baby." _How could I ever have thought that there was nothing inside him? That he was just a body? Look at those eyes. There's more soul in there than in most people I've ever seen. More life than a roomful of people in one dead pair of eyes. I don't care if it's wrong anymore. I love him. With or without the chip, or the soul. If I could give him half of mine- I would. It all belongs to him anyway. _

"That's so sweet, Luv. She's sweet. They both are." Spike told Evans.

"They seem to care about you a great deal."

"We'd do anything for him." Dawn said firmly, resting her bow on her knee. "Don't forget that."

_See your face every place that I walk in_

_Hear your voice every time that I'm talking_

_You will believe in me_

_And I will never be ignored_

Spike winced as they made the first incision- if you can call the stinging laser an incision.

"How are you doing?" Buffy whispered.

"Peachy." He said tightly.

"Just- think about good things. All the good things we're going to do when we get out of here."

"Yeah... Take you for a bike ride, Bit." Spike moved his eyes towards her, but didn't dare move his head. "Take you out to dinner, Pet. A date."

"I'd like that."

Spike smiled up at her, drifting off in a haze of numbing pain. J_us' look at her face. Both their faces. Hear their voices. So soft. So sweet. Both of 'em , for me. My Little Bit, Little Sis. An' then Buffy. My girl. My lover. They both believe in me now. Had to earn it. But it feels damn good to earn it._

_I will burn for you_

_Feel pain for you_

_I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart_

_And tear it apart_

Giles and Xander stood on the outskirts of the operating room. Riley stood far from them, uncomfortable with their close scrutiny and their open wariness of the doctor and nurses.

"I hate watching this." Xander hissed.

"We can't see anything messy." Giles said, though he knew he was being facetious.

"You know what I mean. This is worse than with Angel. I think. I don't know. She was finally happy- you know?" Xander tried to explain.

"They both were." Giles shifted his eyes between the two sisters. "Sometimes I wish I could just take all the bad in this world and rip it far away from them. Keep them safe, away from all the hurt."

"I know. I know. I feel that way about them , too." Xander sighed. He felt an ache in his heart for Anya, the one he really ached to be near when there was a crisis, pain, worry. "I wonder how the cavalry is doing?"

_I will lie for you_

_Beg and steal for you_

_I will crawl on hands and knees until you see_

_You're just like me_

"Get it!" Anya hissed, as soon as Sam went to the restroom.

"I got it, I got it." Willow grabbed the communicator from the bedside table and peered at its screen. "This isn't a phone. I don't know what it is, I don't know how it works!"

"You're the hacker! You can do this." Anya hurried her along.

"I can't do this if I can't figure out how to even turn it on!"

"Honey- this is one time when- I'm going to say this is for the common good." Tara gasped nervously, eyes on the closed door. She took the device from her lover's hands and held it. It glowed and warmed, turning on with a soft purr of energy.

"Oh! The first screen is contacts. 'Team leader'. That's probably Riley." Willow nodded, peering at it.

"Wouldn't she call him husband or Riley, or something personal?" Tara whispered.

"We'll find out." Willow pushed the touch screen and threw the phone to Anya. "You're on. This was your plan."

I know. I'm the one who'll admit that I like him, that I'm like him. I'll do what it takes. Whatever it takes."

"Sam? Hi Honey." Riley's voice suddenly sounded in Anya's ear.

"It's not Sam, I'm just calling to check on Spike."

"What? Anya? Is that you?"

"Yeah. So, how's Spike?" She pressed on.

"He's fine, but what are you doing with Sam's communicator?"

"Well, we're all hanging out together. She was waiting on her own. We were waiting on our own. Waiting is scary."

"Sam isn't scared for the fate of one peroxided vampire." Riley scoffed.

"But we were. And she's so nice, your wife. We've been having an awesome time looking at magazines and getting tips for centerpieces."

"Good. I think." Riley put his hand to his head. These people... If not for the military steroids he'd unwittingly been on, he'd have had a permanent headache when he was in Sunnydale. "Can I talk to Sam?"

"She's in the bathroom right now. I'll tell her you called when she comes back. We'll be waiting here. Alone with her. Until Spike comes home safe."

"Until Spike comes home safe?" Riley asked, slightly panicked sounding.

"We'll be right here, _with Sam,_ until he does." Anya repeated, slightly more ominous sounding.

"Does Buffy know you're doing this?" Riley hissed.

"Nope. And we really don't think we _need_ to do it. You're a nice guy, aside from the whole abandoning Buffy thing. Still," Anya shrugged, "our guy comes home safe, your girl stays safe."

"You wouldn't do anything to her. Sam could kick your sorry asses if she wanted, anyway."

"Yeah. Right up until the part where Willow can move her into an alternate dimension."

"But you wouldn't do that." Riley repeated, absolutely certain.

"I know. You wouldn't let anything happen to Spike, either." Anya said cheerfully. "Oops- here she comes. We're going to talk appetizers. Call us back if you have any news. Oh, and have Buffy call us when the surgery is done and they're on the way home." Anya ended the call.

"Wow." Tara breathed. "You- you were so good at that. You were like- mobster good."

"Hostage negotiator good." Willow nodded emphatically.

Anya blushed as she put the communicator back where it had been taken from. "Well... I try."

_Violate all the love that I'm missing_

_Throw away all the pain that I'm living_

_You will believe in me_

_And I can never be ignored_

Riley approached the area where the surgery was underway. "How're you doing, Evans?"

"We've got the chip effaced, we just need to deactivate and remove." Evans replied tersely.

"The sooner the better." Spike snarled.

"You're conscious?" Riley gaped.

"It takes a lot of pain to put me out." Spike hissed.

"Strongest man in the world." Buffy whispered fervently, lowering her head to his hand to kiss his knuckles lightly.

"If a god torturing you doesn't make you wimp out, this won't, right, Spike?" Dawn praised, eyes glowing with hero-worship.

"That's right, Bit." Spike squeezed her fingers lightly.

Riley suddenly thought he understood. That's what can make a man, or a creature, change. Love like that. Absolute, unwavering faith in a guy, so clear that even the lack of a soul and a century of murder couldn't shake it.

"Hang in there. We'll be heading home soon." Riley said gruffly. Buffy shot him a grateful look, and his insides swelled with pride. _Damn shades of gray. Saving the vampire turned out to be the right thing to do after all..._

_I would die for you_

_I would kill for you_

_I will steal for you_

_I'd do time for you_

_I will wait for you_

_I'd make room for you_

_I'd sail ships for you_

_To be close to you_

_To be part of you_

_Cause I believe in you_

_I believe in you_

_I would die for you _

Spike felt a tiny pinprick of releasing circuitry in his brain as miniscule wires were freed from the tissue. _This is it. I'm about to be back. William the Bloody, back to full power. _He looked at Buffy and Dawn above him, and his eyes settled longest on his lover. _That man is dead. She killed him. Slayed him. _

Inside Spike the demon grunted softly, once, and then admitted defeat. Love had always been the master of the man, he'd never quite managed to over take the heart and soul completely, like he was supposed to.

"You really would do _anything_ for me." Buffy beamed at him, watching his frame shake slightly as the doctor worked to free the imbedded chip.

"I love you." Spike said simply.

"We're closing now. The chip is out." Evans really wished they had let him restrain the patient. But the two petite girls, and the two rather unlikely looking men they had for backup, and their four crossbows, has made that option unfavorable. "Don't make any sudden moves. You need to stay still for a few hours after."

"I'm recupin' at home." Spike informed him. "I'm a vamp, Doc. The brain'll heal up fine. 'Specially if I have good blood." He cast a look at Buffy, who blushed. Dawn pretended not to notice.

"Just take it easy for a minute." Evans motioned his over his shoulder and a team of men, some dressed in medical garb and some dressed in uniform started tearing down the makeshift operating room.

"How do you feel?" Xander and Giles felt comfortable enough to stop guarding from a distance where they could watch the perimeter, and came to the table where Spike was reclining.

"Bit sore. But happy." Spike gave a feral grin.

"Stop that." Dawn smacked his arm.

"Can't help it. Hated bein' muzzled." Spike's grin softened and he looked between her and Buffy. "Now no one'll say I'm good because of a chip. They'll know I'm good 'cause I want to be, for you two."

"Softie." Dawn hugged him. Then she got up and hugged Giles and Xander. "Thank you for having our backs."

"Stop celebrating until we get out of here." Buffy grimaced. "I can't relax until we're out of here!"

"Then let's go, Luv." Spike slowly stood up. "Damn. Bald patch." He ran his finger tips over his scalp.

"It's like an inch and a half. You want to talk bald spots, talk to my Uncle Rory. The man polishes his head." Xander chuckled.

"We can brush your hair over it until it comes back." Buffy didn't care if he was bald, just as long as he was alive.

"You know that's always fascinated me about how vampires don't retain other bodily functions but they continue to be able to cut and grow their hair." Giles sounded curious and eager. "Could I -?"

"I'll be your guinea pig." Spike nodded gingerly. "Not too bad. And the faster I get home, faster I can heal up."

"Thank you for everything!" Buffy called to the room at large. Evans and his nurse nodded and smiled slightly as they hurriedly continued their tear down. Some of the others saluted.

"Appreciate this!" Spike hollered and received the same response.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Riley paced nervously.

"Yeah. Are you okay?" Buffy asked, slipping her arm under Spike's to support him.

"I just want to make sure you get home safely. Come on." Riley lead them out, back to the shaft where Thurston saluted and took them to the surface.

"Are we in some kind of danger?" Giles muttered from the corner of his mouth.

"No. You're not." Riley said grimly, thinking of Sam.

"We'll just all be able to relax once we're home safe and sound." Dawn said happily. The groups climbed into their respective vehicles.

As soon as Riley shut the door of the SUV, he dialed his wife. She picked up at once. "Are you okay?" He demanded.

"I'm fine! These girls are awesome. We may have a big room service bill, though."

"That's fine." He sighed. "Can you pass a message onto Anya for me?"

"Sure, honey."

"Tell her Spike is on his way home safe, and if she doesn't want Buffy to know anything, they'd better be waiting there for him."

"Scry him." Anya, Tara, and Willow were in the hotel parking lot, pausing before they began to drive.

"I have the crystal." Tara pulled out a large lavender crystal from her patchwork bag.

"Here's the map." Willow spread it out over the backseat.

"Find Spike." Tara dangled the crystal on a black thread above the map. The crystal swayed, spun, and dropped. "He's moving away from the campus woods. He's really okay!"

"Thank God." Anya breathed. Willow sat back, hugging Tara, limp with relief. "Let's go home."

"Yeah. Everyone's going home." Willow leaned against Tara's shoulder.

"Everyone's going home." Tara stroked her hair with a sigh.


	9. Chapter 9

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives.___

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Lexie Fang Makes Fexie, Dlillith21, and Ginar369._

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

"I can walk on m' own. Just have a headache." Spike tried to explain to his overprotective girlfriend.

"I like hugging you, so shut up." Buffy grumbled.

The Summers house was a flurry of activity. Anya, Tara, and Willow were clamoring anxiously for answers, and Giles and Xander were trying to give them. In the midst of it, Spike, Buffy, and Dawn watched indulgently as they made their way to the couch, and Riley stood hesitantly in the hall.

"You know the patient with the hole in his skull is acting more sane than you guys." Dawn grinned at the well meaning Scoobies.

"I'm relaxed." Spike kicked his heavy bots up on the coffee table and sprawled back. "Damn good to be home."

"Amen." Riley muttered. "Look, if you're all good to go, I'm going to get out of here."

Buffy got to her feet and walked to him. "Thank you for your help." She gave him a swift hug. "I'd say don't be a stranger, but- you can if you want to be." She said pointedly.

"The feeling is mutual." Riley grinned down at her. "Good to see you." He said sincerely. "Dawn- do I get a hug goodbye?"

"Not really." Dawn refused to budge from her seat beside Spike. Giles harrumphed and she rose reluctantly. "But a handshake might happen." She crossed to Riley and allowed herself to exchange a one armed embrace after all. "Seriously, thanks for coming in and screwing everything up. If you hadn't we might not have known about the chip- until... yeah. Not good. So. Um. Thank you." She retreated, eyes down.

Spike stood and walked over. "I'm s'posed to thank you. An' I will. Gotta do one thing first..." Spike drew back and landed a light punch on Riley's jaw.

"Ow! Hey." Riley seemed surprised it wasn't broken. In fact he seemed mildly surprised that his head was still attached at all.

"Bloody hell I needed that!" Spike exclaimed. "That's for messin' with my head in the first place an' callin' me stupid names an' drivin' a stake in my heart, plastic or not!"

"And that's all I get? A little punch? Didn't even hurt- much. Did you go soft with that chip in there?"

Spike snorted. "That's 'cause I don't wanna_ kill _you- much. An' I wouldn't act on it if I did. Told you. I changed." Spike put his arm around Buffy and kissed the top of her head, eyes on Riley as he did so. "Someone worth changing for."

"Yeah. I see that." Riley nodded, eyes lingering on Buffy.

"So thanks. Now get the hell outta here."

"For once Spike, I'm happy to do exactly what you say." Riley chuckled drily and waved goodbye, turning on his heel and quickstepping out of the house. In a moment, they heard the SUV rumble to life and screech away.

"He's in a hurry. Guess he really didn't want to be around us anymore." Xander sighed.

"No. He just wanted to get back to his wife." Anya said certainly. "Stress means couples need time to comfort each other. Regroup. And this has been a very stressful day."

"Understatement of the year." Buffy collapsed next to Spike as he reclaimed his seat on the couch.

"Was a bit dodgy." Spike squeezed her hand.

"And the understatement of the year phrase has a contender." Xander laughed.

"Haha, very funny." Anya stuck her tongue out her boyfriend.

"Come on, this isn't what we need to do." Tara's soft voice was pointed. "Willow, honey, can you go heat up the soup? A-and some blood?"

"I'll help." Dawn said quickly and went with the redhead into the kitchen.

"Spike- you should rest." Tara said firmly.

"I'm fine, Earth Mother, I jus'-" Spike's voice trailed off. Tara put a balled fist on either hip, and then crossed her arms, head tilted and eyebrows rising. "Yes, ma'am."

"You must teach me that look." Giles murmured in the motherly witch's ear, just loud enough for the others to hear.

"Hey!" Buffy glared, assuming that look would be meant for her. "I listen... sometimes."

"Yes. It's the 'sometimes' part that I wish to work on." Giles gave a sigh of mock exasperation.

"Don't bully my nurse, Rupert." Spike growled over his shoulder. "Got my teeth back in order, an' I never had a Watcher for supper before." He winked.

"And you never will." Giles countered, equally good naturedly, which surprised him.

"Here's the blood, the soup'll be a minute." Dawn trotted out, beaming, long hair swinging like a curtain of champagne silk.

Giles suddenly put a name to his previously unexpected good mood. It was seeing the two women he cared for most so happy._ All _of his loved ones, in fact, were so happy. "We've all had a miserably long twenty four hours. I say we order Chinese. My treat."

"Quick, before he changes his mind." Anya bustled away to the kitchen, in search of a take out menu.

"Okay, but Spike still needs his recovery time. So it's going to be quiet down here." Tara commanded.

"Don't argue with her. She's the most dangerous when someone she cares about is at risk." Willow called from the kitchen.

Spike, now at the top of the stairs, turned and looked at the blushing blonde at the bottom of the staircase. She slowly raised her eyes, and they gave each other a lopsided smile. "Wouldn't want to disobey her, that's for sure." Spike said softly, quietly overwhelmed that he had roused the fire in the usually quiet, mild woman._ Someone she cares about. Sure, she always cared, 'cause she's the carin' sort. This is different. She cares enough to get bossy with me. I'm cared about. Not just by my girls. By this lot. _

"You'd better not. Now, march, Mister." Tara pointed her finger in the direction of the bedroom.

"Not chipped, but he's whipped." Xander teased.

"Xander!" Anya barked.

"Sorry." Xander immediately subsided. Spike and Buffy rolled their eyes at him. "I take it back. It's not so much of a 'whipped' as a- a-"

"Knowing what the bloody hell is good for you?" Spike offered.

"Exactly." Xander allowed himself to smile at Spike. "Go get better. You're going to look like an idiot at our wedding with that big bunch of gauze on the back of your head if you don't heal up."

"Wouldn't want that." Spike allowed himself to smile back, and let himself be led into the bedroom by Buffy and Dawn.

"You don't have to- Niblet, leave off- fuss." Spike found himself shoved into bed, his boots being yanked off and blood thrust into his hand.

"Shut up and drink." Dawn kissed his forehead. "I'll be right up with the soup. Buffy, do you want something?'

"Just some Chinese when it gets here."

"Beef an' broccoli, Bit?" Spike reminded her of his order as she left.

"On it." Dawn smiled over her shoulder. "Thanks."

"For what?" Spike raised his eyebrows.

"Keeping your promises. Not leaving." Dawn said, voice suddenly coming out more thickly than she'd like. She cleared her throat. "Not leaving Sunnydale until I said you could. Staying with me. Us."

"You're welcome." Spike's own voice wasn't thick, it was hoarse, a reedy whisper. Dawn blinked rapidly and shut the door. Spike turned his gaze to the other occupant in the room, who was facing the window, pulling the already closed curtains ever tighter, fiddling with the blue topaz heart she wore around her neck, always wore around her neck now. "Buffy? You're awfully quiet, Luv, you okay?"

Buffy's movements were a blur. One second she was at the window, the next she was straddling his prone form on the bed, kissing him relentlessly, taking full advantage of the fact that he didn't need to breathe. When she finally ran out of air, she sat up with a gasp. "I'm fine."

"Hell, woman, better than fine." Spike grunted, feeling her warmth pressed to his groin.

"I just realized it's going to be okay. You're okay. You- we-" Buffy bit her lip and started over. "You really didn't leave. You didn't get taken away, either."

"Never will." Spike comforted. "Not for long."

"Good." Buffy finally managed to say through her laughing, gasping tears. "Good. 'Cause I got used to you, you jerk. And I love you." She laid her head on his chest.

"Got used to you, too. Always gonna love you." Spike murmured into her hair.

When Dawn brought the soup up in five minutes, she found the two of them still locked like that, Spike awkwardly propped into an obtuse angle, Buffy crashed onto his chest. Both of them were sound asleep, emotional exhaustion draining them. "That's right. The nightmare's done. Sweet dreams, guys." Dawn put the soup next to the mug on the bedside table and silently shut the door.

Giles and Dawn were the last ones in the darkened living room, dusk falling hard in the late winter. "You don't have to stay." Dawn was insisting, trying to seem mature and comfortable.

"I'm in no hurry to leave, unless you'd like me to go." Giles tested the waters.

"You don't have to patrol?"

"After last night's melee which dispatched a few dozen demons plus a local kingpin, and word of the Initiative lab being used today- I imagine most demons and vampires are in hiding tonight." Giles assured.

"We could watch a movie. Oh. I have to call Janice, find out what stuff I missed in school."

Giles' face changed, clouded, and then reset into a mask of careful blankness. "I'd better let you do that. I'll head home."

"I didn't mean you had to leave- I can do both." Dawn's hand reached for his arm as he turned.

"School work, and spend time with me?" Giles inclined his head regretfully. "No, Dawn. You can't."

Dawn read between the lines. _I'm a school girl. A freshman. Underage. He doesn't see me like I see him, or like I see myself. Only- I know he does. Sometimes._ "So I'm a thing again, huh?" Dawn's hand fell before it touched him.

"No! No, you were never a thing." Giles shook his head forcefully.

"But I am now? I'm not Dawn, I'm a 'teenager'?"

"You are both. You're a teenager, and you're Dawn. Whom I care for very, very much." Giles closed his eyes with a suppressed wince.

"I care for you. Very much, too." Dawn's voice was even. "I didn't think you had to leave for me to do some math or history."

"It isn't that. It's- you should be focusing on your schoolwork, and not on- a movie with me, just now." Giles wished he could just say what he was thinking. That this crush, this strange friendship that was becoming more than platonic, was out of place in her life. In both their lives.

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry if I didn't focus on my education as much as I should today. My sister's immortal vampire boyfriend was sliced open by a secret government sect to take out a chip that they put in his brain in the first place that was going to kill him." Dawn's smile was strangely twisted, making her seem so much older than she was, her innocent face harder and wiser.

"All the more reason I shouldn't interfere in your normal routine." He grappled with all of his personal wants and societal ethics to get out the words. When he'd really just rather say that he understood, and she'd had a rough day, and didn't they all deserve to simply sit down and watch a nice comedy and forget the world and it's grief?

"Normal? This isn't normal. This is weird and scary and people _die_. So when you like to be with someone," Dawn swallowed, "when just having them around- " She shook her head, a lump rising in her throat that refused to shift.

"When you like having them around, you don't question it. You simply enjoy it. Because it's all too fleeting." Giles stepped closer to her and found her suddenly in his arms, head on his chest. "I don't want to do something wrong." He whispered.

"Then don't give me the answers to the math questions." Dawn looked up at him.

Giles felt a twitch at the corners of his mouth, and suddenly they were both laughing. "Oh, Dawn..."

"You're my event buddy. This is the event of post operative mega meltdown."

"Dear Lord, there's an event for everything these days." Giles laughed softly. "What does that entail?"

"Uh... you find a movie. I get my homework assignments. Then we sit on the couch together and when I start to look like I'm heading for straitjacket territory from post traumatic stress, you pop a chunk of frozen cookie dough in front of me."

"I believe I can manage that." Giles stroked her hair hesitantly. It really was like silk, flowing, live, silk. Dawn shivered under his touch, and they both hastily, stammeringly, stepped away.

"I- I'll call Janice." Dawn walked towards the phone.

"I'll find a movie." Giles fairly trotted to the entertainment center. "Would you like me to check on Buffy and Spike? They've been awfully quiet."

"Let them be. Once they wake up, it'll probably get loud." Dawn chuckled.

"Loud? Oh- loud." Giles blushed and began to search for something light and mindless.

Spike woke up to hazel green eyes caressing his face and hands caressing his chest. "Hey, Precious."

"Hey yourself." Buffy kissed the hollow of his throat, the closest spot she could reach without moving. "How do you feel?"

"Ready to go." Spike stroked her hair.

"Go where?"

"Oh...just to go." Spike rubbed her back in slow, lingering strokes.

"You just had surgery." Buffy protested, a little breathless.

"I know. Last time I had 'surgery' you remember how quick I got back on my feet."

Buffy and Spike both winced at the memory of a botched battle consisting of Harmony, Riley, and both of them. "You know what, Luv?"

"What?" Buffy perked up slightly at the wondering tone of his voice.

"Think that was the first night I realized I loved you. Didn't want to, back then. I dreamed about you. Told you I loved you. You said you wanted me." He laughed. "Think I told you this before."

"You did. That's how it started. I wanted you. You loved me. Worked out, huh?"

"You love me now, don't you, Slayer?"

"You don't seriously have to ask me that, do you?"

"No. Jus' like hearin' it." Spike smiled.

"In that case, I love you. I love you so much."

"That's what I've always loved to hear." Spike gently easer her up, hand sliding under her tee shirt. "Everyone gone home?" He stroked the silky curve of her spine.

"Dawn's here. I don't know about the others." Spike listened for a moment. "Well?"

"Giles is here. With Bit. Watchin' a movie an' arguin' by the sounds of it. So we'll be nice an' quiet."

Buffy's protest died on her lips as Spike rolled her shirt off over her head, eyes never leaving hers. He was studying her with grave intensity, a happy little smile on his face that mirrored out of his eyes. "You okay?"

"Never did this without the chip. I'm gonna enjoy it." His smile turned to a smirk, but then immediately died. "I won't hurt you, you know that."

"I do know. You can let yourself go. Let yourself go."

"I will, Luv. Softly, quietly, though. But I'm thrilled that if I accidentally elbow you or land wrong, I won't get zapped for it." Spike slid the hooks of her bra open, and watched her breasts fall gently free as she leaned tenderly down to him. "Lovely pair, Slayer."

"Shhh." Buffy pressed a finger to his lips. "I was so worried we'd never do this again." Buffy leaned back, unbuckling his belt and then unzipping his fly, releasing the long, cool hardness into her fist. She pumped him smoothly in and out of her hand, working his jeans down with the other.

"Oh, Pet, so good to me." Spike breathed.

"You're sure you're up for this?" Buffy teased.

"Very up, Luv." Spike tugged her down, jeans tearing at the side seam as his hand gripped her waistband. "I'll buy you a new pair. We can afford it now."

"I'm not worried about the pants, Baby." Buffy purred, fingers tracing lightly over moon washed abs.

"Good. I don't want you to worry anymore. About anything."

"I won't. We're finally us. Altogether us." Buffy pushed her underwear off and kicked her socks from her feet as Spike slid on top of her. "Nothing fancy. Don't jostle your head."

"No worries." Spike reminded her, but obeyed Buffy's silent commands. When he made a move to lower his head and slip down to the sweet haven between her thighs, her fingers dug into his shoulders and pulled him forward, eyes lining up. "Alright. Jus' like this." Spike hissed, and Buffy nodded back, eyes closing.

Despite the dull pain in the center of his skull, Spike found himself forgetting everything but the woman underneath him, just as he had before, the last time he'd thought he was free of his chip. Before he had been willing to overlook any amount of pain or a gaping wound, fixated only on doing her damage, draining her, getting his revenge. Now he was hyper focused on consuming her in a different way. Being one with her, fully, as himself.

_She knows this is me. As I am. No soul. No chip. Only myself an' what I'm willin' to do, that's all the proof she has, but she still gives me all the trust she has in her. _Spike reared above her, panting out her name as he plunged inside her, need overwhelming him. _She loves me. Me, as me._

_It's a soulless, completely savage beast inside you. Evil. _Buffy's internal monologue changed sharply as she considered the history she had with her lover._ No, not evil, he's beautiful, he's loving, he loves me. I love him._ Buffy stifled the stunted scream as she was filled, biting down hard on Spike's shoulder.

"Yes! Yes, just like that." Spike praised in a tense little grunt. Buffy's eyes widened. "It doesn't hurt, I swear."

"Spike..." _I can't play this way. It will encourage the bad side, the demon side. No, don't think like that, you've made love while the demon was out. Whatever he does, he's still Spike, and Spike loves you more than his own existence. _

"No, listen to me. You an' I, we're built for the little more aggressive. I won't hurt you- but you can let go. You're not chipped, either, y'know, Luv."

"Shhh." Buffy hushed him again. "I understand. Spike- let go. I trust you. All of you."

With a grateful glance, Spike claimed her mouth, and started ravaging her body, feeling like he was making love to her for the first time. Hands and mouth and hips were free, finally free to just plunder and delight- all of it aimed to please her. _Can finally give her all of me, maybe make it better than ever._

Buffy watched and felt as game face and human face flickered in and out as they kissed. His fangs and teeth nipped and caressed her neck and bust in a frenzy, interchangeably, neither one of them commenting on it.

Buffy felt the dull bites and sharp bites, but didn't care if they broke the skin or not. She couldn't care if he was marking her, because she was scratching and clawing Spike's back and shoulders in her silent frenzy, jagged red lines appearing under her nails. "Harder." She gasped once.

"All of you." Spike replied, lost in his own thoughts, tasting her sweet skin and traces of blood from a bite on her shoulder. "Dammit." He licked his lips, realizing what had happened. "You okay, Buffy?"

"Harder." She insisted. "I was gonna lose you. You're still here. It feels- alive. Alive again, electric."

"Know what you mean." Spike held her gaze and rocked his pelvis into hers, increasing the tempo. All of him wanted to give in and roar a primal, satisfied howl, but they were silent. So his instinctive passion came out in his body language, harder thrusts, bites to muffle his cries, hands gripping tighter than usual. "I love you." He mouthed.

"Love you." Buffy whispered, head tilting back, eyes rolling up as her first climax hit, rapidly followed by a second.

_Oh, sod it... _Spike listened to the roar of her blood rushing through her arteries and his eyes pinpointed on the pulsing jugular in her neck as it was thrown up in a shallow golden arc. _Bloody, buggerin' hell, she's gonna drive me over the edge. No, don't think like that, don't think about swallowing her hot, sweet blood as it pulses in time with her little puss wrapped so tight around you. Bloody, buggerin' fuck, this is gonna dust me._

Buffy's eyes opened as she caught a tiny whimpering grunt. Spike's eyes were focused on her throat and his jaw was concrete hard. "Spike?"

"You're jus' so fuckin' beautiful, feel so good, taste so good." Spike whispered with an effort. He shook his head once, rolling it back on tight shoulders with a sudden twist. "Now, don't you worry, Luv. You know I love you. Know you're safe. So safe, Buffy. Die for you. Never hurt my girl."

"I know that. I- believe in you, remember?" Buffy's fingers gripped the sinewy column of his neck, keeping his eyes focused on her. "What do you want? Tell me?"

"To love you. Be with you." Spike hissed.

"Then why are you making that noise? Like you hurt?" She challenged. "Am I hurting you, is this too much after surgery?"

"Not hurt. Not too much. Not hungry." Spike added in case that was her next question.

"You know it wasn't just a one time thing." Buffy's hands began to tug his head down to her throat. "Last night wasn't just because I thought you were in danger. Remember, it was to bond with you- and I still want that."

"Thought maybe- without the chip-" Spike shook his head, ending the thought as he kissed her pulse point. "I know you said there's always 'inner slayer crap'. I didn't know if..." He trailed off helplessly, kissing her throat gently, repeatedly.

"If it would make a difference? I told you it wouldn't. Stupid vampire. You never listen." Buffy teased gently.

"Don't say the words. No 'mine'. No 'yours'." Spike reminded her with a sharp rasp, sliding into game face, letting the increased senses tantalize him further.

"Even if I want to?"

Spike swallowed, human features quickly making an appearance as he looked up, startled. "You- say again, Buffy?"

"Last night, I felt like I wanted to say it. Instead I said 'My Spike'. You're mine. I'm yours. Why don't I say it?"

"It's permanent, Luv."

Buffy swallowed, stroking his hair softly to the side, avoiding the back of his head. "I was afraid of permanent."

"I know." Spike moved more slowly in and out of her, a steady pounding rhythm, unhindered by the need to breathe. "That's why I warned you not to say the words."

"But I said someday I'd like to." Buffy kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm still afraid of permanent, afraid of screwing up, afraid of how hard and dead the world can still feel sometimes. But with you... I don't know, Baby. I know I don't want things to end." Buffy's eyes filled up with a pained sound. "I was so scared, Spike. So scared it was going to end. I know how you felt when I came back broken and you thought I might leave this world it was like when I did leave." Buffy almost sobbed as she held him tight.

"Like everything that matters is taken away, an' you don't know how you'll keep goin'." Spike whispered in her ear, pressed tight to her, feeling the lump in her throat swelling. "Shh, Luv, it didn't happen. I'm here, an' you're here. True love, Pet. Can't end that."

"So don't let it end!" Buffy grabbed his cheeks with desperate hands, peering into his eyes. "You told me the night I first said I loved you- that you'd do anything. All of the big deals, life, death, children, even fake papers- no obstacle. This shouldn't be an obstacle, either!"

"It isn't, Pet. All those things, they aren't. You know that. I want this so bloody much. All the selfish parts of me- an' that's plenty- are tellin' me to stop poncin' around an' get on with it. But the part of me that's tryin' hard to be the man you deserve, without the soul, without the chip, the part that's doin' it on my own willpower- that bit wants to make sure you won't regret it. It hurts so much when you- when you push away afterwards. Know you don't do that anymore, but I couldn't take it if you did it now." Spike explained in a desperate rant.

" 'Cause you fall more and more in love with me every day?" Buffy asked.

"That's right." He smiled crookedly.

"Then this is the thing we need to do. Because I love you more and more every day, too. All the little things you do, and say. Even the annoying things, like the way you smoke when you wash the dishes, and the way you blare that punk rock crap, and teach Dawn to gamble and curse... Honey- it doesn't even gross me out that you drink blood! Or that you put all that gel in your hair."

"You're a piece of work, Slayer." Spike smiled fondly, tears suddenly springing to his eyes. "You make me go all soft, Luv."

"I don't." She countered, blinking her own tears away, squeezing on her lover's hardness. Spike glared at her for a split second, but neither of them could tease for long. "You make me all soft, too. You make me strong again, and you make me feel again. I don't ever want to lose that. Please, Baby."

"Should be special. Without an audience. Your Watcher an' Niblet are right downstairs."

Buffy blushed, but shook her head firmly. "We're being quiet, and they probably know what we're doing up here, and they are totally not an 'audience'. They don't care. _I_ don't care."

Spike raised a single brow. "That's my Buffy talking?" He asked in disbelief.

"You should know. Love changes a person. Not that I want us to turn into exhibitionists or anything." She added quickly.

"I don't like to share this view, anyway." Spike chuckled.

"Ditto. All mine." Buffy ran her hands across his back, marveling that all her lovingly inflicted scratches were already gone. "You hear that?_ Mine_." She hissed the word in his ear and tightened around him, arms, legs, and soft, slick tunnel.

"Yours." He agreed in an airless gasp. "Can't undo this, Luv, if I say it with a bite..."

"W-will anything happen to me? I won't- be part vampire or something?"

"Not sure, humans aren't usually claimed." Spike shook his head regretfully. "I don't think anything bad happens. I think with us it'll be symbolic. Might have a bond build up. All I know is that claimed pairs are linked inside. They never part."

"That's all I care about." Buffy told him solemnly. "Just tell me what to do."

"I dunno myself. I know we'll feel it. We'll just let it happen."

"I'm not so good at that." Buffy laughed nervously.

"I won't let anything hurt you." Spike swore. Buffy nodded. "We'll just know. We'll just- feel it happen."

It was already happening, Buffy thought as their lovemaking returned to a fevered pitch. They changed positions, him sitting up, letting her rear rest on his thighs as he slammed in and out of her, two fingers swirling over her bead as her hands splayed across her tight nipples. The pleasure was overwhelming, almost burning.

Spike switched positions again, something in him unsatisfied, that this wasn't right, not yet. With a groan and a tangle of limbs, she was face down and he was lying flat on top of her, head alongside hers. "Not like this either." He grunted in her ear.

"Don't care, feels so good." Buffy writhed under him. She pushed herself up to her hands and knees and arched back into him. Making the "beast with two backs", she thought with a satisfied smile.

The pleasure was building to an almost agonizing level, and made worse by having to quiet their passionate cries. Spike's vampire visage took the surface, and Buffy's eyes regarded him calmly, lovingly, wide and deep. "Drownin' in you." Spike gasped out, falling into her heavy lidded eyes as they resumed face to face congress.

"No. Just swimming in me." She moaned. Her blood was pumping so loudly now that she could hear it, feel it, and she knew that if some of it didn't leave her body, she would implode. "I feel it."

Spike nodded jerkily. He felt it, heard it, her blood pumping in a way he'd never quite heard before. Like it was gushing, but there was no wound, no place for it to go. And he knew if he didn't create the opening, she'd die inside, drowned in herself. For the first time in his life he knew a bite was going to save a life. Not merely create an existence, a shadow of human life, but actually save her._ Every night I saved her. Do it now. _Spike kissed her lips, tongue sliding easily inside her panting mouth.

She knew what to do, instinctively, but they weren't _her_ instincts. The demon in Spike spoke to something inside her, some power in her core. The amber eyes were gentle at first, then burning, and she knew it was going to happen. "I'm yours." She spoke, and her body convulsed, a torrent inside her making her cum and making her blood fly through her tortured arteries.

"You are mine." Spike cried worshipfully, and he bit, swallowing and swallowing, almost gagging because the blood was rushing out. Too much, too fast. Slayers were stronger than vampires, just a little bit, and they were never meant to be claimed. "Easy. easy." Spike lifted his head and sealed the wound on her neck as she thrashed. "You have to-"

"I know what to do." Buffy dug her nails in with surprising suddenness, opening a slit in the pale neck before her. Her tongue darted out and she swallowed her fear as well as the blood. "You are mine."

"I am yours!" Spike came like he had never done before- a pulsing in his cock matching the one in his wounded neck- and the one in hers.

Buffy's eyes widened. She could feel the beat of his dead veins, thrumming with borrowed blood as they emptied in release. Connected. Sensing each other. Something faint but permanent, like a persistent memory or a waking dream.

"Never leave you now." Spike whispered, head rocking back as he finished his release.

"Always with you." Buffy gasped, her own head tossed in rapture. With a mutual shudder, they stilled, locked together, eyes wide and awed.

Spike tensed, waiting for a backlash even as his heart reminded him to trust her and his demon reminded him that he could try to feel her, feel her being content and satisfied, loving him. Their eyes locked, and Buffy's slowly crinkled up in that broad, adorable smile he loved. "We did it." She squealed happily.

"We sure did, Pet." Spike stroked her damp hair away from her face. "How you feel?"

Buffy considered. "Happy. Better. Really good, actually." Her beaming smile was so bright it almost hurt his eyes. "How do _you_ feel?"

"Incredible." Spike blinked, and then reached up to his gauze covered scalp. Slipping a finger underneath, he touched the incision. " Luv- feel this!"

Buffy reached back. "Hey! The skin- there's nothing there, just skin!"

"Think we've got super healin'. Or that might be the big dose of Slayer blood I got. I didn't take too much, did I?" Spike asked with concern.

"Nope. And it was better than the first time." Buffy stretched luxuriously. "It felt- like I could feel you, too. It was amazing. I loved it." Buffy paused."That doesn't make me bad, though... does it?"

"No!"

"Not that I care." Buffy reassured him, realizing it herself. She lightly pushed him off, rolling under his arm, head on his chest. "Bad things have a way of turning good for us, huh?"

"Seems to be that way, now." Spike kissed her sweating forehead.

They rested quietly for a few minutes, contented, spent. "So... what do we do now?" Buffy asked quietly.

"About a claim?"

"Yeah."

"We could tell everyone. Or we could jus' wait for a bit. I don't think anything unusual is happenin' to the two of us." Spike looked his lover over.

"Nope. Except this nice feeling of knowing you won't leave."

"You used to hate that, you infuriating girl." Spike snarled jokingly.

"Yeah, well you used to be annoying to have around. _More_ annoying." Buffy chewed the inside of her cheek thoughtfully. "We'll tell them. Eventually. It's not a secret!" She said warningly. "I just don't think we should do right now."

"Any reason why?" Spike asked, fully believing her. He felt a warm comfort inside of him, similar to holding Buffy against him, only this time it was inside him. " I do love this, y'know. Don't think I can hide it for long."

"You don't have to. I just don't want to tell before Anya and Xander's wedding. Since it's kind of major. Permanent commitment and stuff."

"We already had that, Sweetlet." Spike reminded her sharply.

"Yeah- but now it's big permanent. Oh God. Big, big, really, 'no getting out of this' permanent." Buffy's eyes took on saucer proportions.

"You're scarin' me, Luv." Spike warned, watching her frantic eyes.

"Sorry. It's just kind of wiggy. In a good way!" Buffy clarified quickly. She rolled onto her side and looked up at him, taking in the sparkling deep blue eyes. "You know what Riley asked me?"

"What did the pillock ask you?" Spike growled.

"You were there, but you were upset about Dawn. Do you remember, he asked if this was like a marriage? And I told him- it was for life. For death, too?"

"Yeah, I vaguely remember that, through a haze of wantin' to kill the bastard." Spike's growl softened slightly.

"I meant it. And we did something about it. Something they really can't break." Buffy relaxed against him. "So, it's kind of like a- um- a um- you know." She gave him a tortured glance.

"A marriage, Pet?" He grinned at her. "Don't be afraid of the word. Don't have to do anything about it. Nothin' more than this."

"Good. 'Cause I'm so not ready for that." Buffy giggled. "We're so weird."

"Just a bit." Spike gave her an indulgent grin. "Ready for a lifetime together, but not a couple hour ceremony with rings?"

"Right. But it doesn't matter, does it? I mean, Willow and Tara, they're together, but they're not 'married'. I still think they'll last until death do them part."

"I agree, Precious. Calm your pretty little mind." Spike rubbed her back.

"I don't want to tell until after Xander and Anya come back from their honeymoon. I don't want to upstage them." Buffy finished the conversation with a yawn.

"Understood, Luv. After they get back." Spike closed his eyes, exhaustion overtaking him.

"One more thing before I fall asleep." Buffy nudged his pecs with her head. He rested his chin on her hair and she felt him nod. Inside herself, she felt something quiet and peaceful, a stillness. Warmth. Spike and his love. She sighed contentedly. "Will you be my date for the wedding?"

"Hmm?" Spike sat up slightly.

"I never officially asked before."

"Well who else would I go with, Slayer?" He asked in amused exasperation.

"Don't you know it's a big deal when the bridesmaid asks you to be her date at her best friend's wedding?" Buffy chided.

Spike thought about it. Buffy had done a myriad of huge things to prove she loved him and wanted to be with him. Living with him. Making love with him. Openly declaring her love for him, dating him, including him in the group, trusting him to get the chip removed and allowing herself to be claimed. Nothing in his mind topped being claimed and admitting openly that she loved him. The girl hadn't worn her heart on her sleeve since Angel broke it and death had stilled it. Now she was telling everyone, social services for Dawn, Initiative chappies, work pals, the lot, that they were together.

But in so many ways, she was still that young college girl who wanted a normal life and normal boyfriend. And to that girl- taking him to Xander's wedding was huge, earth shattering. It acknowledged their love in front of human and demon communities, not to mention Harris, who'd never been a fan. Even though things were changing, and demons and humans knew about them, and Xander had come around, slowly, grudgingly- going to the wedding as a couple was still the event of the year to the sweet Valley girl who wanted a simple life.

Spike looked at her glowing cheeks and sparkling eyes. "I would be honored to be your date, Pet."

"You're snoring." Dawn tapped Giles' knee lightly.

"I don't snore." Giles muttered.

"Then you're wheezing with some oomph." Dawn sat up sleepily. "We ended up sleeping together again. I mean- you know- asleep. On the couch. Fell asleep again." She rambled.

Giles laughed drowsily, fumbling for his glasses. "Wh- where were we in the movie?"

"The last thing I remember was Wesley climbing up the rocks." Dawn grabbed the remote and restarted the movie. "That's pretty close to the beginning."

"I'm sorry, Dear. It's just been exhausting recently."

"No worries. I could sleep for a week. Major stress ickies lately." Dawn stretched, arching her back, showing off her willowy physique. "You probably want to head home, huh?"

"Horrifying as this is to admit, I want to see what happens to Buttercup and Wesley." Giles winced. "What you've done to me..."

"Yeah. I de-nerdified you."

"I was never a nerd. I was- bookish. Intellectual." Giles corrected.

"Fine." Dawn gave in with a teasing roll of her eyes. Dawn pressed play and the movie began again. "I can't believe you've never seen the _Princess Bride_."

"Well, I'm seeing it now." Giles said tersely as he retrieved his can of soda and poked at his half-eaten eggroll. "Fast forward this bit, we've see this."

"Speaking of Wesley and Buttercup, do you think I should go check on the other endless lovers?" Dawn tipped her head to the ceiling.

"Unless you want mental image scars, no." Giles shook his head vehemently. "There are some sights a human should not see."

"I've seen 'em." Dawn scooted slightly closer to the man she was coming to regard as more than just family friend, but a close friend of her own, someone she genuinely enjoyed being with. "Leprous minions, scaly demons, black wormy brain sucky things. Ewww." She shuddered and Giles joined in. "But you know what's going to really make you need some corneal healing?"

"Hm?" Giles grinned at her, loving the way she so easily joked about the horrors she'd seen, yet she possessed innocent wisdom whenever she chose to calm down and share it.

"The bridesmaids dresses. The only thing that could make them look worse is if you put the black wormy brain sucker in it."

"That bad?" Giles winced.

"That bad. In green."

"Poor thing. Don't worry, you'll still look lovely." He consoled.

Dawn sighed, and forced her mind away from the spectacle she'd make in her dark jade abomination, and onto her companion. "You have your tux fitted?"

"I do indeed." Giles was giving the bride away.

"Shoes polished?"

"I will by the day."

"Did you buy a gift?"

"I'm writing them a check. I thought it would be the most useful."

"Got a date?"

Giles splattered his coke as her question caught him unawares. "I- I don't- that is, I didn't plan to need one."

"Oh. I didn't plan to need one either. Bridesmaid. Kinda busy." Dawn shrugged.

"We'll keep one another company." Giles offered, a sideways glance and a small smile on his lips.

"I'll sit next to you at the bridal party table." Dawn grinned.

"It's a date." Giles said, half- jesting, half-serious, wondering what interpretation Dawn would have, wondering what in the world his_ own_ interpretation truly was.

Dawn smiled quietly, and turned up the volume on the movie. "Thanks."

For what, Giles wanted to ask. But he didn't. "You're welcome." He said, and she was. Dawn leaned her head on his shoulder, close, but not intimately so. Comfortably, warmly close. He relaxed. Life was short and dangerous. Best to enjoy the happy moments.

Upstairs, Buffy and Spike slept. In their dreams, they walked together, bonded by an invisible force. As they slumbered, they moved closer together, twin smiles on their faces. Life was complicated, but it was finally getting good, and now it would stay that way.

_To be continued..._


	10. Chapter 10

Acceptance

By Sweetprincipale

_Author's Notes: This story follows after _A Model Romance_ and_ Desire_. It picks up immediately following the last chapter of _Desire_ in an alternate Season Six where Spike and Buffy became an acknowledged couple, though they are still struggling to fully be part of one another's lives.___

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Lexie Fang Makes Fexie, Dlillith21, and Ginar369._

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part X

"Shouldn't you two start-"

"Where are my shoes!" Dawn's frantic voice cut Spike's query off.

"In the white bag!" Buffy shouted from the upstairs hall.

"Those are_ your _shoes, you have tiny little freak feet!" Dawn rummaged in a white bag emblazoned "Bridesmaid" in glittery letters.

"Shouldn't you two start getting-"

"I found them!" Buffy pounded down the stairs two at a time. "Here! You left them on your bed, dummy."

"Shut up." Dawn panted, ripping open the box and checking on the dark green footwear. "God." She moaned. "These dyed shoes... my feet are going to turn green."

"I know." Buffy commiserated. "At least the dresses weren't dyed- I think." Her eyes widened in horror.

Dawn made a miserable squeak. "What if they_ were_? We're going to look like martians by the end of the ceremony!"

Spike coughed pointedly as he leaned in the dining room doorway, the picture of devilish indifference, small smirk on his lips, bleached hair sleeked back and blue eyes half lidded as he surveyed the sisters in front of him. "Can a bloke ask a question?"

"What is it, Spike?" Buffy asked with a trace of impatience.

"Shouldn't you two start getting dressed for this gig?" Spike crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side.

Buffy and Dawn regarded him like he'd sprouted a second head. "Uh- _no_." Dawn cried in an extremely exasperated, annoyed voice. "We need to get our hair and make up done first, plus we can't drive to the banquet hall in the dresses because they'd wrinkle, plus we'd-"

"Alright, alright, alright!" Spike no longer looked cool and casual, he looked amused and a little scared. "I surrender" He held his hands at shoulder height. "I dunno a damn thing about gettin' ready for a weddin'." He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his lighter and a cigarette. "Bloody hell- if you two are this bad, I shudder to think what Demon Girl's goin' through."

"She was fine last night." Buffy joined Dawn in rooting around in the duffle bag, pulling out hair clips and eyeliner and then stuffing them back in. "I think we have everything."

"Yeah, Anya seems way less ballistic since they were able to put everyone up in hotels for the weekend." Dawn tossed her own assortment of accessories in the bag and stood back with a sigh. "Xander seems way less nervous, too."

"Calm down or I'll tranquilize you." Giles murmured into his coffee cup.

The pacing brunette groom-to-be flung himself back down on the couch. "Thanks for letting me escape here, G-Man."

"You're quite welcome." Giles rose from the dining room table and offered a mug to Xander. "How're you holding up? Nervous?"

"Not so much. This week was so much better. It was nice to just tell everyone to go to a hotel and leave us the hell alone. Politely, of course." Xander fidgeted.

"Cold feet?" Giles asked cautiously. Xander hesitated.

"Maybe a little. But... I guess I feel like it's time. Everyone's paired up, making the big leaps. Will and Tara moving in together and raising a cat, Buffy and Not-So-Evil-Undead shacking up and doing the whole responsible working together thing. I was the first one to propose something permanent and it scared me. Now it just seems like it's time to finish what I started. No one wants to be alone any-" Xander looked absolutely horrified with himself and began to babble and backpedal. "Except- you know- the guys who are waiting. The older, debonair lady killers who hide under tweed and oh! Crap! I- I have to go practice my vows." Xander bolted to the bathroom.

Giles grinned and shook his head as the young man raced off. "It's alright! I'm sure you meant some_ other_ middle aged man with a lot of tweed in his wardrobe." Giles called drily. _But it's the truth. No one wants to be alone- not for this long. No one wants to end up making an arse out of himself, either._

"Oh my God... Anya. You look- gorgeous!" Buffy gasped appreciatively.

"You'd look better without the blue ice pack thing on your face." Dawn tried to reach up and remove it, but Anya swatted her fingers away.

"No! Leave it. It reduces under eye puffiness. And I keep crying! I'm crying too much. No, I'm crying just enough. I'm so happy."Anya stepped away from Tara who was making a last minute tuck to her train and threw her arms around Buffy and Dawn.

"Oooof!" Dawn and Buffy staggered back, and Anya's elaborate updo of ringlet curls tilted to the side. "Uh- Anya...?" Buffy bit her lip and gestured to the mirror. All three bridesmaids braced themselves.

"My haaaair!" Anya screeched.

"Go! Go find Willow and tell her to tell Xander there will be a little delay." Tara pulled Anya gently away from the mirror. "Dawnie... bobby pins and styling spray."

"I'm on it!" Buffy trotted away, wondering if the guests in the hall could handle even a "little delay". The Harris family wasn't exactly known for their quiet tolerance of things they found unusual. And Anya's guests were- well, _unusual_ was putting it mildly. Even though most of the less humanoid demons had opted to cast human glamours on themselves to blend in better- there was only so much you could do with things like talons and tentacles.

Willow adjusted Xander's bow tie. ""I'll say this for the Y chromosome ... looks good in a tux."

Xander tried to smile through his own mounting nerves and tears. "Well, your double X's don't look too bad there, either."

Willow continued to make minor adjustments too her best friend's clothing, blinking hard. "You're getting married. My little Xander.

"All growed up." He tried to ease the tension.

"It's a good thing I realized I was gay, otherwise, hey, you, me and formal wear..."

"Oh, Will. Come here." Xander gave in and hugged her, not caring for either of their ensembles.

"Do you know how much I love you?" Willow demanded hoarsely.

Xander whispered into her hair "Mmm ... 'bout half as much as I love you."

"Don't make me cry- like really cry. I have mascara on. Raccoon eyes are not going to set off this lovely dress." Willow joked.

"Will..." Xander tried to control his emotions, his voice a little deeper and raspier. "I need a minute. I wanna practice my vows, okay?"

"Sure. Practice all you need. It's not like we can start this wedding without you." She kidded, and slipped from the room.

"Bloody. Hell." Spike assessed the situation in the hall as he and Giles entered.

"Oh, good Lord. D'Hoffryn isn't even remotely concealed!" Giles mumbled in exasperation. "I know Xander told his relatives that Anya's friends were circus folk but... a blue man with horns and a beard to his knees? What freakish condition is _that_ supposed to be?"

"Apparently Mr. Harris is wondering the same thing." Spike pointed his chin towards a belligerent Mr. Harris who was swaying in front of Anya's former boss, a drink in his hand, obviously not his first one. "Where's the groom? Should we get him out here, or keep him with Willow?" Spike scanned the area and saw Willow and Buffy conversing urgently in a corner. "Uh- the boy _is _supposed to be with Willow, isn't he? The best man's job, well, the best person's job, is to keep the groom in order, isn't it?"

"Heavens. _I'll _take D'Hoffryn and Harris Sr. _You_ find the groom." Giles strode forward purposefully. Spike slouched forward,hands jammed in his dark jeans and shoulders hunched in his dark button down shirt, much less enthusiastic than the Watcher.

"Hello, Luv. Red." Spike nodded to his beloved and their friend. "Wow. Green- suits you."

"Don't lie." Buffy huffed.

"You look beautiful, Sweetlet. And- uh- Willow- you look-"

"I have red hair and off green eye shadow. I look a overgrown lady leprechaun. Get to the point." Willow slunk further down into her dress as if she should shrink into it completely.

"Old Man Harris is about to incur the wrath of the lord of all vengeance, an' I think he's drunk already- an' uh- if I'm not mistaken, Xander's rather hefty aunt is makin' a play for a scavenger demon."

"That's all- bad." Buffy blinked, looking around with mounting dread. "But- what do you want us to do?"

"I don't want you to do anything but keep the groom out of the melee that's prolly gonna happen. Oh, bugger, Mrs. Harris just fell off her foldin' chair. She must be inhalin' the stuff to get drunk so fast." Spike winced.

"I'll keep Xander out of the way." Willow said quickly.

"There's going to be a little delay anyhow. Anya's hair kinda sorta- collapsed. But only one side." Buffy explained, patting her own shining arrangement nervously.

"Oh, marvelous. Bloody marvelous." Spike stalked off to handle the demon population, figuring Giles might tag team with him and sort the humans. "Tell the bird to hurry up, Buffy."

"I will!" Buffy trotted back to the bride and Willow swished uncomfortably back to the groom. Or at least where she'd left him.

"Settle down or I'll rip the third eye outa its socket." Spike was growling to one rowdy demon as Willow approached him, fear in her eyes.

"Have a seat! Have. A. Seat!" Giles was threateningly herding the Harris clan into chairs.

"Giles! Spike!" Willow hissed.

"What's wrong, dear?" Giles mopped his brow. Xander's Uncle Rory and Aunt Mavis had put up quite the struggle.

"I can't find Xander." Willow gasped out.

"What d'you mean, you can't find him? He's the soddin' groom, he's half of the top billin'." Spike cried in a fierce whisper.

"He's not in the little room where we were waiting! I- I just left him for a minute. Geez! I'm failing at the best man thing!"

"Maybe he just needed some air. He was looking a little pale." Giles soothed.

"Maybe he's in the loo. I'll check." Spike patted Willow's hand suddenly, surprising them both. Must be the claim, he thought as he stalked off, trying to look more menacing and bad tempered than he felt. No one had mentioned anything directly, and both Buffy and Spike assumed their friends thought it was the removal of the chip that had bolstered their relationship, but it was more. For the first time in either of their lives- they were content. Simply content. Not only would they never be left alone, broken hearted again, they would never lose track of each other.

"Why are you so calm? _How_ are you so calm?" Dawn demanded of her sister in a hiss.

"I just- am." Buffy shrugged. _It's easy to be calm- at least for myself. I'm not alone anymore, and I can't lose him. _I _can't be lost. I'm finally, _finally _found. _She could feel a soft glow, like a single candle in a dim, warm room. Spike's presence inside her, connecting them. They could always sense each other, and it filled her with a warm, safe, loved feeling. Her heaven in semi-human form. _Maybe that's why he doesn't have a soul, but he acts like he does. Souls are in heaven, and he is mine_._ It's there, but it's gone. It's not missing, it's just in _me_._

Buffy refocused on the beaming bride, her hair now in place, as she rattled off a series of joyful, if unorthodox vows. "Uh- Anya- could you maybe leave out the part about being Xander's 'sex poodle'?"

"Oh God, oh God." Dawn muttered. _First these swamp thing dresses, and now a bride who's still writing her vows in her head ten minutes before we get started. _"Anya- you need to stop pacing or you're going to fall off the -"

Anya stepped off the slightly raised platform in the bride's dressing room with a thud. "It's okay." She grinned. " I think I'm ready now. Make sure Xander's ready, and then let's go!"

"Aunt Carol, listen to me- I have to- oh sorry." Xander had only wanted to spend five minutes out of Willow's eyeline- she kept sniffling and they were both about to cry whenever they looked at each other. After the third time of having a sobbing "Lifetime movie event" moment, he decided enough was enough. He slipped out into the hallway behind the reception area as soon as Will left the room. Only to enter World War III, Drunkards vs. Demons.

Now, he was grappling with his Aunt Carol, a small boy whose name he forgot, and was bumping backward into a man who was probably his great uncle. _My family has no business complaining about Anya's side of the guest list._ "Aunt Carol! Oh God! Aunt Carol, your son is melting the wings off the ice sculpture with your lighter!"

"You have to listen to me!" His great uncle hissed, tugging his arm.

"Tell me about how you got your scar another time, okay, Uncle- um- Uncle." Xander made a generalized guess about the older man's motives as he fended off the child, and sent his Aunt and small cousin off with an exasperated push.

"This isn't about some old scar, boy! Listen to me!"

"Oh, fine, what?" Xander allowed himself to be led down a small hallway towards the kitchen.

"You can't get married today. It's a huge mistake."

"Yeah right, thanks for the advice, Uncle ... help me here?" There were too many uncles and aunts. And they just kept coming and coming and coming...

"Uncle? You don't recognize me, do you?"

"I'm sorry, I don't-" He trailed off, not remembering, and not really caring. Here was this old guy saying he shouldn't get married. As if he didn't already have overwhelming visual proof that the Harris clan should not perpetuate, but would serve the world better by withering and dying off before more drunks and shouters and bigots could manifest themselves. It was taking every ounce of his willpower to hold onto the thought that he- Xander Harris, aka "Mister Failure"- would somehow make things better, make things different than the rest of the herd in front of him.

"It sounds crazy, I know. But you have to believe me"

Xander looked at him puzzled. "Believe you about what? Not getting married?" Xander shook his head vehemently. "What are you talking about?"

" I'm Xander Harris. I'm you."

Xander stared at him. "What do you mean, 'You're_ me_'?"

"I'm you. I'm you from the future."

"Oh, from the _future_! For a minute I thought you were a nutball, but now that you're from the _future_-" Xander rolled his eyes and led the older man towards the reception area, looking for a responsible relative to hand the man off to. Like he was gonna find_ that_ in this room.

But the older man only grew more agitated and insistent. "Please, listen to me. I found a way back to warn you. To tell you!"

"Hey, hey, easy, easy. Everything's going to be all right." Xander soothed, tugging him forward. Giles would be there. Giles could help him find out who was responsible for this old dude- no, no Giles needed to be with Anya, ready to give her away. Maybe his dad would know who-

"Toast!" Mr. Harris Sr. weaved to his feet, a stupid leer on his face and a glass in his hand.

Xander groaned. "I swear I told the bartender no drinks before the ceremony."

"Then you don't need to worry! There will be no ceremony if you listen to me! I can save you a lifetime of agony, spare you from the pain of failing as a husband, disappointing your wife, and visiting your own misfortune on your children." The older man hissed desperately.

Failing as a husband? Disappointing Anya- that sounded about right... But- no. No, it couldn't be like that. They might mess up all the time, drive each other crazy, but they loved each other. He was different from his father, he was _not _like his father. Hah- hadn't his father been bemoaning that fact for the last twenty one years?_ You're nothing like me and you'll never be a Harris man, _his father often sneered, unknowing that Xander's silent reply was always "Can I have that in writing?"

"A toast! A toast! To the Harris clan." Mr. Harris' drunken shout shook Xander from his reverie. From the crowd, various cheers, groans, and taunts could be heard. The assembled guests were about to get ugly- an accomplishment for them.

Xander focused on his purported self, needing to get away from him and stop his dad and the fight he was starting. Angry words were flying now, demons versus Harris clan, and it was only a matter of time before it would get physical. "Listen, Mr. Delusional Time Traveler, I don't care who you are, but I-" Xander's words died away as his companion showed him a glowing purple sphere.

"I can show you. I can show you how-"

"Oi! Red's givin' herself palpitations lookin' for you!" Spike's voice seared through the conversation as he stumbled upon the pair.

"Spike." Xander said nervously.

"Can you go get in place, mate? Only so many times we can corral this lot, an' no offense, but it's your side of the aisle makin' the stink." He turned to the elderly Xander. "I don't have to tell you- lot of bigoted people out there. Nice glamour, by the way. The old man bit, no one ever really looks closely at that. More realistic than the 'young and beautiful' job. Some of this bunch... well, I s'pose even glamours can only hide so much, yeah?"

"Glamour?" Xander looked angrily at the man claiming to be his future self. "Oh. A glamour, huh? What kind of surprise is in the box of cracker jacks?" He demanded, shaking the old man roughly by the arm.

"Oh, tryin' to pull somethin' was he?" Spike caught on.

The being glowed and morphed, turning into a much taller, less stooped figure, gray skin, yellow eyes, covered in short spiked horns.

"Oh bloody hell." Spike muttered, fists balling.

"Party crasher." Xander whispered. Around him, he was dimly aware of the angry shouts turning into horrified shrieks. All the attention was shifting to this back corner by the doorway.

"Anyanka did this to me! See what kind of fate you have waiting for you?"

"It's Anya now, and she's retired, okay?" Xander pulled himself up to his full, angry height.

"Just shove off. No one likes exes at the wedding." Spike urged.

"You can't make me leave. I owe her pain, misery, torture- I-" The demonically altered being stopped speaking as Spike and Xander's eyes slitted and hardened, and Spike's game face suddenly appeared.

"I can _make _you leave. It's your choice of how many pieces you leave in." Spike snarled. Xander's fist slowly drew back, no words needed.

"You'll never know. You'll never know if I was telling the truth about what your life would have been like." He threatened. "She might be retired, but she is still the same woman who turned an innocent man- a harmless philanderer, into this demon beast, banished to a hell dimension to be tortured for some paltry flirting! You know you're scared of that kind of power. Of living life with a woman like that!" He crowed.

"Hey! She changed! She might have lost her powers, but she didn't have to stop wanting to be evil! There are a hundred ways to hurt people that don't require any magic, and Anya doesn't use any of them!" Xander countered furiously. "She changed. She isn't the woman you knew."

The demon paused and appraised the broad shouldered groom in front of him. "Alright then... are you the man I see in your future? Weak and unworthy? Maybe she changed- but have you?"

"Don't listen to him, he's lying." Spike snarled, internally worried. Just 'cause someone was playing for the evil team, didn't mean they weren't telling the truth. Now, this one smelled of revenge and rank dishonesty, but if there was any little seed of doubt in Harris's mind...

"I know he is." Xander replied through clenched teeth.

"Don't wonder about me, boy, wonder about yourself. Are you ready for this?" The beast oiled, clawed fingers caressing the orb he held, hinting at unrevealed events.

Xander swallowed hard. When confronted with a painful situation, even one he knew he couldn't handle- he always tried anyway. He might be afraid- but inside- he was as ready as he'd ever be. "Yeah, I am. I'm ready for this, for her. 'Cause do you know why she changed? For _me! _You can ask her, I've heard her. She wanted to be worthy of a man like me_. _'Cause she sees what I'm worth." Xander swallowed again, this time a sharp ball of emotion lodged in his throat. He well remembered Anya's heartfelt, if not always traditional, confessions of love. She might know all his faults, but to her- he was _it._ The _one. _Worth turning her back on a thousand years of hating men, to love, and trust, and try one more time. "No more talking. You weren't invited." Xander rasped and delivered a punch fueled out of pure adrenaline.

It was hard to tell who looked more stunned. Xander, at his sudden prowess, Spike, for the same reason, the demon, because he realized before he blacked out, that he'd been knocked silly by a puny human, or any one of the dozens of guests who hadn't expected to see anything so remotely entertaining at a wedding.

"Good show!" Giles called enthusiastically.

"Nice." Spike hefted the demon from the floor. "I'll go put this out with the rest of the rubbish." He hauled him away.

Xander, with renewed confidence, marched to the front of the folding chairs and confronted the warring guests, the rowdiest of which were still the Harris family. members. "Everyone? I have an- uh- an announcement to make." Xander caught the flash of hope in his parents' eyes and it enraged him further. He lost any trace of politeness he had been saving. "Here it is: Sit down and shut up! You're the guests. You don't like it, you can leave, no one's forcing you to stay for this wedding!" He slammed the microphone he'd been using down with a jolt and a loud screech of feedback.

For the most part, the guest obeyed implicitly, cowed by his attitude or just sick of the shenanigans, he didn't care. Only one person was idiot enough to remain on his feet, and vocal.

"Now, just a minute, I'd like to-" Mr. Harris glared around the room.

"Shut up, Dad! If you're here just to _drink_, you can leave too." Xander marched down the center aisle, back to the cubby of a room the groom was supposed to wait in. "Giles? Check on Anya, okay? I'm ready whenever she is."

Giles watched him depart, a tear suddenly springing to his eye. "That's my boy." He whispered to himself, and hurried to collect the bride.

Spike, hands free of demon debris- wasn't his fault, he didn't know the ruddy orb was all that was tying uglypants to this dimension, and a trinket like that had to get smashed before it got used- watched Xander's impressive exit with a smile on his face. "Bollocks. Think I'm startin' to actually like that idiot boy." With a quiet sigh for all the bad that he'd miss and all the good that he'd do instead, he took a seat and waited to watch the wedding ceremony. At the moment, he honestly couldn't think of two people who deserved a happy ending more. Not even himself._ Already have my happily ever after. An' she's about to walk down that aisle, lookin' like Birnam Wood come to life. _He smirked and settled back in his chair.

"What are you still doing in that chair?" Dawn demanded, hands on her hips.

"Well, I- erm-" Giles tugged at his bow tie with a nervous gesture.

" 'Well, I erm' doesn't cut it. Move it, Mister." Dawn hauled the groaning former librarian out of his chair at the bridal party's table and onto the dance floor. "Everyone else is out there. You're my event buddy, and so help me God, you will dance."

"I suppose it's useless to argue?" Giles sighed, silently not too unhappy with the situation.

"Absolutely pointless." Dawn grinned at him, stepping a few paces away from him to dance to the fast, jazzy music filling the room. "Now, I know you're a stuffy old fart, but-"

"Shut your mouth." Giles grinned wickedly and grabbed her hand, twirling her and dipping her, refusing to be goaded. "You know, in my family, gentlemen had to learn to dance. Social class, etc. I'll foxtrot you to your knees."

Dawn shivered inside, but giggled externally. _In no way should just dancing with him make me all giddy. Too bad it does..._

"Alright, you two. Break it up." Spike spoke to Dawn as he and Buffy sashayed past, glued to one another. "Bit, take it easy on Rupes, yeah? Father of the bride can't afford to have a heart attack dancin' with the bridesmaid."

"Be good, Giles." Buffy caroled, patting his arm for the brief second she could bear to tear it away from Spike's muscular shoulders before they moved away.

Dawn watched them go, sighing with a smile. "They've been so close this week. I love it. It's like- like they crossed some big secret hurdle. Eventually, I'm gonna get sick of watching them be all snuggly and zen-like, but for right now, I'm lovin' it."

"Quite." Giles said shortly, a frown on his narrowed lips.

"Who died and made you King of the Buzz Kills?" Dawn looked at him and cut right to the point, something Giles found both endearing and irritating.

Giles shook his head once, an annoyed burst of air passing his lips before he spoke. "I do wish they wouldn't say things like that. I feel like a dirty old man."

"Huh?" Dawn's eyes widened.

"Oh, I know there's nothing to it, but you've no idea how often it was whispered behind my back. With Buffy and Willow, Faith and Cordelia, even now at the shop, to a lesser extent, with Anya and Tara. And it was never true."

"So ignore it. It's all crap." Dawn shrugged. "And you know they were just joking around. I mean- it's Spike. If he didn't joke or make some kind of snarky comment, his head might blow his tongue out of his mouth from the sheer build up of pressure." Dawn patted his shoulder kindly. His flecked hazel eyes remained steady, even though a small smile crossed his lips. "You're not buying it. That's your 'humor her' smile. You do that when Buffy wants to skip training and you tell her you'll think about it, or when Willow wants to do something stupid with magic and you tell her you'll get her the book right away. You don't do that to me. Not anymore." Dawn's brows drew together.

"No. I don't do that to you anymore." Giles conceded.

"What bit you?" Dawn murmured gently. Giles gave her a pointed stare, an "Oh, come now, surely you know." stare. His thin brows raised as he assessed her, and Dawn got it. "Ohhh. It matters._ This_ time." She blushed slightly. _This time, he does feel like a dirty old man, he does have some kind of feelings for one of the young women in his life. Me. Wow._ Dawn felt like she could float away.

"Yes. Quite. This time." Giles agreed, not looking at her, looking into the distance past her head. _Of all the stupid things to do, Rupert, and all the ones to find yourself admiring, you choose the youngest and most unavailable of them all. You stupid old idiot. Do you think she'll continue this wonderful blend of friendship and pseudo- dating partnership once she realizes just how wrong this is on your end, and just how unfair it'll be on her? _

Dawn also made point of not looking her dance partner directly in the eye, looking just over his shoulder."You know, they couldn't say anything. Not for real. You're at least born in the same century as me. Plus, you know- alive, soul, have a reputation as one of the good guys..." She said with carefully contrived nonchalance.

Giles hissed out his reply in shock, not admitting to himself that some of those same justifications ran through his own head lately. "Dawn, honestly, don't think like that! All that aside- you're fifteen." He said the most shameful words out loud, words that plagued him whenever he caught himself thinking about her in a way that was more than friendly. H_ow the bloody hell did this happen? Good Lord, it was only after Thanksgiving that I ever even spoke to her as more than a niece or even a daughter. It's March and all the sudden I'm thinking- no, dammit, no, that's the trouble, I'm not thinking at all._

Dawn continued to keep her voice light, wondering why and how they were suddenly having this discussion, _really_ having this discussion. Why here, in the middle of a wedding reception, while Xander and Anya were swaying just a few feet away from them, while Spike and Buffy were dancing every dance together like they were the only two people in the room, while demons and some very unpleasant humans were arguing and dancing all around them. But still, she said what she wanted to say. "Sixteen in June. That's legal in England, right? And legal here, with parental consent."

"We're not in England and I honestly don't know because I've honestly never cared." He said in a ratty voice, which immediately softened when he saw the reproach in her eyes. "And then there's that issue of parental consent. _I'm_ the parent figure."

"Sorry about that, but you only _kinda_ are. You know, lots of girls like men that are older and mature. I don't feel at all like you're my dad. I kinda think my dad sucks and you _so_ do not. Buffy feels that way about you, that you're her father figure. I get that."

"Are are you saying you don't feel that way? That I'm not some sort of father figure to you?" Giles knew he was heading into dangerous territory. More dangerous, at any rate. She'd changed so much in the last few months. She'd become a bright spot in his week, in his day, someone to banter with and spend time with. And yes, he did have a preference for brunettes with long legs, as Anya had once said, but he didn't even realize that Dawn had long legs or dark hair until after Christmas. She was simply Dawn. Suddenly Dawn. No longer Buffy's little sister, no longer a "key". Just Dawn. And it might be wonderful to spend time with her, but it was still wrong. Wrong, it had to be. Because the world said it was, and that little voice that said "Bugger off, world" had never been very reliable before.

Dawn watched the emotions skittering across the usually controlled visage. Her own face must reflect a roller coaster of thoughts as well as she really considered the question. Did she consider him a father figure? She had at one time, yeah. Recently. And then it-_changed_. She didn't even know how or why, or when. Now when she thought about it, she realized he might be old enough to be her dad- but he definitely wasn't. With a soft voice, Dawn spoke directly to him, finally making sure their eyes met. "I'm saying I don't get hung up like a lot of people would. Remember- I'm way older than you." A twisted smile played across her lips.

"You aren't!" Giles scoffed.

"I'm a million year old ball of energy wrapped in a kid package so Buffy would protect me. They made me little and helpless on purpose." Dawn said drily. Then, with a frown she added, "Bastards."

Giles couldn't keep from laughing at her sudden petulence. "You really aren't hung up on much. I suppose you don't have a reason to be." He concluded with a thoughtful expression. It certainly wasn't an orthodox existence she'd lived, the primordial force she had been, not just the young woman she'd become. When they considered that... Hmm. He never really had considered that. He would need to do so.

The song had changed, something slower, but they didn't notice. It seemed easy to just talk to one another, wherever they were, whatever they were doing.

Mom always said being able to have a good conversation was as important as anything a guy could do, Dawn recalled. "So, yeah. I'm just in this package. I don't even know if I have a soul. I feel like I do, but so does Spike." Giles began to assure her she had a soul, that she must have, but she cut him off. "Shh. How would you know I do, but Spike doesn't, huh? He and I get along really great." Dawn looked up wistfully at the older man who had relaxed enough to let her step close to him, actually hold her like they were dancing as friends, not polite strangers. "Ever think maybe there's a reason he and I are so comfortable together? Neither of us are exactly good, or exactly bad." Dawn's eyes crinkled up in a smile as she remembered how many conversations she and Spike had had over the course of their relationship about such things. "I had a crush on him, too, you know." She said, more to annoy her dance partner than anything else.

"I did know, and I wish I didn't." He replied crossly.

"He's more like my dad-slash- big brother figure now, though. Since he stepped in full time, and you could step back some. It's - it's nice, in a way. I see you more as a person. I already saw Spike as a person before." Dawn felt herself stumbling over her words, lost in hazel eyes and rhythm and a hellacious amount of confused, conflicted emotions. "Now it's nice to see _you _as a person, not just 'Buffy's Watcher.'" She concluded, trying to keep her smile steady.

"I suppose it is. And- you're right. You're an interesting young woman in your own right, not just 'Buffy's sister'." Giles thought quickly, feeling the need to make a comment, a joke, before he lost all light and humorous he'd learned bout her. "You're quite the card shark, I hear."

Dawn glared, knowing he'd just changed the mood on purpose. "I hear you used to be something a lot worse." She countered.

That didn't lighten the mood at all, he realized. He blushed. "Ah- yes. Maybe so." The glare did not diminish, and what's more, it was worse than Buffy's glare. With Buffy, they had this mutual respect, a hard earned relationship that needed them both to survive. In Dawn's eyes, there was challenge and spitfire fight, not the fight of having to save the world, of having to deal with the savior of it. Pure, unadulterated stubbornness, enough to match Buffy and Spike combined.

"What do you see me as then, this person you now get to know?" Giles asked softly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Dawn didn't have to stop and think of an answer, she knew what she saw, because she'd so often considered it. "This smart, funny guy. Nice accent. Cute, but distinguished. A good singer and sweet on the acoustic."

"You didn't mention old." Giles quirked one graying brow.

"I wasn't going to. Why? Is that how you see me? By my age?"

"Partly." Giles confessed, marveling at how something true could nonetheless suddenly seem so shallow.

"Well that sucks. Nice to know I'm a number." Dawn spat, eyes hardening and drifting away again.

Hell. That wasn't how he'd meant to make her feel at all. "You aren't! You're- bright and engaging and a pain in the arse. Well read and far more manageable than your sister but quite prone to an entirely different sort of trouble making. You're not- purely good. Innocent but artful." He savored the thoughts it conjured up, and tried to ignore the honeyed tone his words suddenly took on. "Yes, like that. Sweet."

"You forgot pretty." Dawn grinned.

"You aren't pretty. You're lovely. There's a difference. Buffy is pretty. Anya is attractive. Willow and Tara are cute. You- are lovely." Giles spoke sincerely, finding her suddenly close, far too close, and yes, lovely and innocent but artful, and- and wrong. He took a hasty double step back. "And you're completely off limits, as am I." He said with gentle regret.

"You're gonna stop being my friend now, aren't you ? See me as some little girl with a crush?" Dawn whispered harshly.

"No! No of course not." He reassured urgently, in a low undertone. "But I can't see you as anything _more _than a friend."

She'd known that, she guessed. It didn't make her feel any better about it. "Okay. That's better than nothing." The dancers smiled ruefully together and unclasped hands as the current song ended.

"I guess I'll go see how-" Dawn looked aimlessly over her shoulder only to be snagged by a cool hand and whirled forward. "Spike!"

"You've been dancin' with the borin' old man all night. My go." Spike wrenched her away, both of them instantly laughing, their "partners in crime" bond evident in the way they moved and spoke, perfectly at ease.

Giles stared after them, but not for long. A sparkling pair of laughing eyes held his own. "You know you owe me some dances, or I'm going to think she's your favorite."

"As if I could pick." Giles grinned and took Buffy's proffered hands. They danced for a moment in smiling silence.

"So. What's going on?" Buffy asked innocently.

"Nothing! I swear-" Giles sought a way to finish his explanation even as he felt a guilty flush spring to his cheeks, in spite of the fact that he'd been a complete gentleman.

"Don't you break her heart." Buffy said conversationally, cutting him off in mid stammer.

"I have no intention of-" Giles stared at her, stunned, puzzled by the complete lack of venom or accusation in her voice. Not even a hint of warning, merely a casual comment. "Uhmm- could you clarify that request?" He removed his glasses in his consternation.

"She likes you. Is it just a crush?" Buffy asked, nodding to Dawn and Spike who were sweeping off in the opposite direction.

"I'm not sure." He replied uneasily.

"Is it mutual?" Buffy's tone remained non-threatening, but was serious and soft now.

" I would never touch your sister." Giles quickly vowed.

"I didn't ask that." Buffy held his eye and watched them close over, looking inside, not at her anymore. "Giles.I'm asking- I'm asking if you like her in a special way." Buffy said carefully, trying to get wigged that the thought had even crossed her mind. Dawn was almost sixteen and Giles had to be forty five at least. And Dawn was- annoying and little and bratty. But she was loving and smart and growing up. And Giles- well- Giles had spent his life standing still for her and the greater good, at a million sacrifices to himself and his own happiness. That's why she had to ask. She had to know, for both of them.

Giles answered with equal care."What would you say if I said I sometimes forget she's a teenager and just see her as someone I enjoy being with? That I like a lot of things about her, and yes that's including her appearance." It hurt to admit, and yet, it was a relief. He was no stranger to Buffy's romantic mores, and she was no stranger to his. He supposed if he was ever going to be weak, or strong, or anything again, she'd be the one to know.

Buffy regarded him, eyes softeneing. "I'd say be careful. She looks sweet, but she's a terror." She smiled at him.

"Are you saying you wouldn't kill me on sight if I ever expressed an interest?" Giles asked in open shock.

"I'm saying you have to move very slowly and she's young. But I'm not my mom. I'm not going to say she's_ too _young and doesn't know what she wants." Buffy's eyes saddened, drifting back to a thousand tortured memories of arguments over Angel. "I think we always know. We may not want to, but we do." She whispered, eyes now straying to Spike who was leading Dawn in a complicated dance step that she was sure had been Dawn's idea, not his.

Giles cleared his throat, eyes following hers. He wouldn't bring up the painful past. "Well, I do think she's too young. Right now, certainly." He left anything more unsaid, unsure quite what he thought about moving slowly.

"Hmm. Good to know." They shared a mutually understanding smile, and Buffy put her head softly on his shoulder. "Wouldn't it be weird if you ended up as my brother-in-law?"

"BUFFY!" Giles gasped loudly in her ear.

Dawn panted as Spike finished her twirl with a flourish. "H-hey, you learned how to dance."

"Of course I bloody know how to dance. I just can't dance like this in a club. An' I'm not pawin' at you, like Rupert was." Spike smirked at her, cocking one eyebrow sharply.

"Giles was not pawing at me!" Dawn slapped his shoulder hard.

"He was dancin' bloody close." Spike gave her a dubious glare.

Dawn glared back. "No, he wasn't. _I _was."

"Oh honestly, Bit." Spike looked mildly sick

"Don't you say one word, Spike." Dawn threatened.

"I wouldn't, would I?" Spike laughed with a shrug. "May not be wild about it- not wild about you an' any bloke, but how can I judge?_ I'm _a mass murderer an' undead, as well as about a century and a quarter older than the love of my life. Unlife. Both." Spike turned his eyes to lock even more deeply with hers. "You and Rupes are what- thirty years apart? Hell, that was the norm in my day. Older men and younger women, at least a bit older. Women wanted to be looked after and older men usually were established an' all that." Spike explained. His face was tight, but his eyes were understanding as he looked at the girl he loved like a sister, who was his best mate. She deserved to be happy. An' Rupes was a good bet- if that's the way things ended up.

Dawn wrapped her arms tightly around Spike's neck in a way that had nothing to do with the dance number that was playing and everything to do with hugging her thanks. "I thought you would go ballistic, I've been working up arguments for the last week. I should have just talked to you. I always can just talk to you, can't I?"

" Course you can, Sweet Bits." Spike hugged her back and they began circling the floor again. "So- when did this -er- thing- click?" He asked suspiciously.

"I don't know about 'clicking', but it if it did, I guess it clicked slowly over the last couple months. Since New Year's Eve, I think."

"Wait now, you've been spending the night with him a few times. On his couch, you said." Spike's eyes flickered dangerously, and even the warm kernel of Buffy's essence wrapped deep inside him couldn't prevent the blaze of yellow that suddenly showed under the blue. "You an' he never-"

"No! No, he didn't know I liked him!" Dawn hissed frantically, feeling her gut twist. Sex was something she wasn't ready for, with anyone. "Spike, even if I loved him like crazy -which I don't, at least not as more than a friend- yet-" Dawn babbled nervously, "I'm not old enough."

"Niblet, not to doubt you, but plenty of sixteen year olds-"

"Not just for me, Spike, for him. He could get prosecuted or something. 'Cause even though technically I shouldn't exist as a teenager, I do, and I'm underage. I wouldn't put him at risk any more than he'd put me at risk." Dawn said firmly.

Spike sighed in relief. " 'Cause if he takes advantage-" Spike trailed off and shrugged angrily, one hand leaving Dawn's arm and digging into his pocket in search of a smoke. "Sod it. I can't finish my speech. I trust him." Dawn's face lit up and he pointed a cigarette in her face. "Oh, not with me so much, but with _you_. I trust him."

"Thank you." Dawn said simply, plucking the cigarette from his hand. "Seriously, Spike."

Spike sighed and stroked her hair. A slow, smug smirk spread across his face. "It's _you_ I should worry about. Don't give the old man a heart attack, alright? When you finally get your way with him. Remember he's old an' been knocked about a lot since meeting your sister."

"Spike! Sick! I'm not there yet. I'm not even at _kissing_ him yet." Dawn winced.

"Well that's good, I s'pose." Spike tried not to sag in open relief.

"Thanks for not being mad."

"I love you too much. I couldn't be mad- unless you picked someone who'd treat you badly." Spike said softly. "But he won't. He'll treat you like a bloody princess."

"No. He'd treat me like Dawn. That's why I like him. That's why I like _you_."

Spike blinked back a sudden tear. "Must be a Summers' thing."

"What is?"

"You all fall for the older British types." He winked.

"We need to take a little break, you dancing fools." The smiling DJ ended one song and didn't begin the next. "It's time for the friends and family to offer their toasts. The groom's Uncle Rory would like to say a few words."

As Xander groaned and hid his face in a glowing Anya's shoulder, Dawn and Giles clapped politely and backed themselves against the buffet table. Uncle Rory stumbled up to the microphone with a raucous cheer.

Dawn spoke in a hush under the general laughter in the room. "No grilling?" Dawn asked, not looking at Giles as she referred to his dance with Buffy.

"Surprisingly, no. No protective big brother speech on your end?"

"As long as you keep your hands above the waist you should be fine." Dawn gave him a flash of a half smile.

Giles removed his glasses and polished them in his trademark avoidance or embarrassed gesture. "Hrm. W-well, I don't think that'll be an issue." He stammered.

Dawn's face fell. If she was flirting, she sucked at it. Or maybe- maybe she sucked at this whole thing, and she just didn't realize it. "Sorry. Maybe I'm not getting it. You do kinda see me as- well, not your 'type'." She shook her head and lowered it, cursing herself for being so stupid and deluded._ He was just letting you down easy. He really is just a friend, and he didn't want to hurt your feelings, and sometimes, maybe things he said- well maybe I misunderstood them._

"I see you as someone I would like to get to know- and then I'll start deciding about 'types'." Giles said firmly. Then sighed. "You're still in high school, will be hundreds of young men lining up for you. Young men who could- er hrm, do below the waist type of things." Giles mumbled, blushing furiously.

"Hmm. I think I'm going to swear off of that kind of stuff for a little while." Dawn blushed and mumbled as well.

"Oh? Is it- did I say something that hurt you? That is- I didn't mean to. I certainly didn't mean to." Giles suddenly wondered why he'd ever found dealing with Buffy awkward and confusing, when Dawn was obviously far more tricky. _Oh right, you fool. You didn't fancy the Slayer, you wanted to throttle her when you didn't want to hug her senseless after she survived something horrific. _

Dawn swallowed her embarrassment and reassured her friend. "No! We're cool. I just think I'm interested in taking my time, getting to know people. Maybe I'll get back into it someday." She swallowed her own fear as well, time to make a hint he couldn't miss unless he really wanted to. "Someday... Say on my 18th birthday?" She looked at him sideways and watched his tie rise and fall with his Adam's apple.

"That sounds like a wise course of action." Giles agreed. After a pause, Dawn slipped easily under his arm and he allowed it, resting it lightly across her shoulders. _Why not? It's been a couple years... What's a couple more- if it turns out to be right? _Giles reached behind him and snagged a beer from the nearest ice bucket. Maybe there was more to celebrate than he thought.

"Stop scowling." Buffy nibbled Spike's ear and whispered at the same time.

"Done." Spike found it impossible to scowl when she lightly pulled at the sensitive skin of his lobe. "Jus' doin' it for appearance sake anyway. Don't really think it's so terrible if Giles puts his arm around her. If she didn't like it, he'd be on the floor with his bits in a bag. But still- she's my little sis, gotta act the part." Buffy nodded and wrapped her arm tighter around his neck. Spike's own arm was curled firmly around Buffy's waist, wishing the material of the dress wasn't of the noisy, flowy kind and was more clingy so he could get a better feel discreetly. "When do we get to leave this bleedin' reception?" Spike groused as Willow fumbled her way through a tearful best man toast.

"Aren't you having a good time?" Buffy asked in a wounded voice.

"The weddin' itself was lovely. Anya might not be the most poetic girl but she says beautiful things." Spike grinned fondly.

The bride's homemade vows had consisted of blunt, but meaningful lines that were sure to stick in everyone's mind: _I, Anya Jenkins promise to love and honor and cherish you, Xander Harris, forever, and if I get mad at you, I'll just tell you and I won't resort to anything involving transforming you into a slug or something else icky. I'll love you always, even if you get old and fat and bald. Even if you have erectile dysfunction and need those little blue pills. Because you will always have the most beautiful heart in the universe, and I'm lucky you chose to give it to me. _

"Not often you laugh an' cry in the same breath. Not durin' the vows, anyway." Spike chuckled softly.

"I'm glad she remembered to leave out the sex poodle part." Buffy muttered, leaning tiredly against her lover.

"What the bloody hell is a sex poodle?"

"I didn't ask but in version ninety five of the vows, it was one of the things Anya was promising always to be."

"I'm bettin' Xander had wished she left out the part about erectile dysfunction." Spike snickered. Buffy bit her lip hard to keep from bursting out in a laugh- or a moan- as she felt Spike's hardness against her leg. "Stop that." She hissed. "Is that why you want this to be over?" She demanded.

"Yes. Thought you told me you couldn't wait to be out of this dress." Spike reminded her with his best wide eyed innocent expression. Buffy rolled her eyes. "We could go home an' practice our own vows." He breathed against her neck.

"V-vows?" Buffy's stomach flip flopped, but to her surprise, not in a wigged out way.

"Yeah. 'Mine. Yours'. Simple but effective." He purred.

"Oh. _Those _vows." Buffy shivered pleasurably. "We can do that."

"Good. Think I fancy a simple,_ private_ ceremony." Spike nudged her leg with his erection again.

"With way less words than these two used." Buffy smiled indulgently as Anya and Xander hugged Willow as she finished her toast.

"Alright folks, that concludes the speeches- let's get to the fun stuff. The garter toss!" The DJ's voice rang through the applause as Willow shakily sat down next to Tara. Tara comfortingly patted her partner's shoulder and then handed her a full glass of champagne, which Willow downed in a single gulp.

Anya and Xander made their way to the center of the room as a brassy burlesque number played. "I'm almost afraid to watch this." Tara confessed nervously as Anya and Xander playfully hiked the flowing skirt of her bridal gown.

"It won't be bad. This is a wedding." Willow soothed.

"Um. Yeah. But Anya said it's traditional not to use your hands to remove the garter- and it is A-Anya."

"Good point." Willow held Tara's hand and they watched with smiles, and a little trepidation, as Xander ended up using his elbows and then his teeth to get the garter over Anya's shapely calf.

"Okay- all the single guys get in the middle of the room!" Xander shouted. "Hey- hey, I'm not single anymore. Wow." He stopped to beam at his new wife, who was radiantly glowing at him, positively incandescent.

"Why aren't you moving?" Buffy gave Spike a nudge.

"I'm not single." He said simply.

"Oh." Buffy blushed, and laced her fingers through his more possessively. "Guess I won't be going after the bouquet."

"You can if you want." Spike said quickly. "I know it's only an old tradition, doesn't mean anything."

"No- but I don't consider myself single anymore, either." Buffy replied softly, and had the pleasure of watching Spike's skin turn a pale cream instead of a dead white, the closest he could get to blushing.

"You better go or you won't get a spot." Dawn shoved Giles forward.

"It's so asinine." Giles grumbled, refusing to budge.

"You afraid of getting shown up? Can't hack it with all those young studs?" Dawn teased, gesturing to the crowd of rowdy males on the floor.

"You've seen me take on some fairly impressive creatures." Giles frowned at her. "You know I can hold my own against 'young studs', as you call them."

"Then why aren't you out there?"

"I'm in no rush. And he who catches the garter is the next to tie the knot, isn't that what they say?"

"Yeah, but no one believes that!"

"I'm not taking any risks, not around here. I'm quite content to wait, not rush things."

"Oh. Yeah. I guess- um- around here freaky stuff could happen." Dawn blushed. She and Giles remained where they were. Across the room Buffy and Spike stared at the pair with a knowing smile. Dawn stuck her tongue out at her sister, who stuck her tongue out in return.

"Bloody hell." Spike tugged Buffy's arm.

"Good Lord." Giles admonished Dawn. "I never thought I'd see the day when Spike was the mature one." He muttered

"Never thought I'd side with Rupert over Bit." Spike hissed at Buffy. "Now be a good girl and watch the fun."

Xander, now standing on the platform beside the DJ, turned around and tossed the garter with a flourish into the crowd of single men, human and otherwise, down below him.

"I got it! I got it! Get out of the way, you freaks! Get out of the way, you loudmouths." With much pushing and insulting, the crowd swarmed the lacy circle- only to find it had already been caught.

"I got it!" D'Hoffryn sounded shocked and curiously pleased. "I got the ceremonial garter!"

"That's not fair!" One of Xander's cousins shouted.

"Yes, it is!" The bride's side chorused. D'Hoffryn removed the article from one of his horns, where it handed landed in the melee.

"He caught it on one of his freaky horns!" Mr. Harris Sr. said angrily.

"The only stipulation was single 're a single male, Mr- Uh- D'Hoffryn?"

"At the moment." The impressive head of the vengeance demons cast an appreciative eye over his harem of demonic servants, lingering on Halfrek, who tittered like a school girl.

"He's single. Deal with it!" Xander a protest began to break out he crossed his arms and glared. "Deal with it, or I'm closing the bar." There was immediate silence.

"I love it when you're all- husbandly- like that." Anya gushed to her groom, mounting the stairs and brandishing her bouquet. "Alright, ladies! Single females, in the center! The one to catch the bouquet is the next one who gets married." Comprehending nods came from some of the non-human guests, and the girls piled into the space where the men had been standing.

"Here we go!" Anya laughed and tossed the bouquet of flowers wildly over her shoulder. Very wildly.

"Hey! Hey, I'm not- I wasn't even in the circle!" Willow gasped as the flowers smacked her on the head. She and Tara were sitting far away from the middle of the dance floor, at one of the tables for the bridal party and immediate family.

"You're not married, are you, Willow dear?" Mrs. Harris cocked her head.

"N-no." Willow had never felt comfortable with Xander's parents, and they'd never given her reason to. They ignored their son and his friends as much as possible. Now was not the time and place to announce and explain that she had a loving lifetime commitment with another woman. "Um- I- um. Here." Willow pulled half the flowers from the bouquet and handed them to Tara. "Tara's not married either. I'd like to share them with her. Since we're single- together." Tara blushed and her eyes positively shone as she took the flowers from Willow's hand.

"Well, that's lovely, Willow and Tara." Mrs. Harris slurred, suddenly regaining interest in her martini. Those who knew Willow and Tara understood what had just happened and were clapping loudly. Those who didn't, clapped for the heck of it.

Tara touched Willow's cheek and put one of the blossoms from her half of the bouquet behind her ear. Willow leaned forward and kissed her gently, not caring who was watching, or what anyone said.

No one said anything. Xander and Anya's threatening stares made sure of it.

"Well- what an action packed evening folks! But let's get back to the dancing, okay?" The DJ, who knew a crowd could only take so much tension, decided to reclaim the room. A loud, pounding fast song filled the room, and broke the crowd into dancing couples and chatting groups ringing the floor.

"That was really brave, Will, Tara." Buffy hugged the pair.

"Not so much. It's easy when you're in love." Willow took Tara's hand.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is." Buffy looked across the room at Spike, who was chatting with Clem who had arrived late to pay his respects to the happy couple. "I guess when you love someone that much- you don't care who knows, or what they say."

"Nope. Just be happy and know the people who count are gonna accept you, 'cause they love you, too." Dawn joined her sister and friends.

"Stop, Dawnie, we're all gonna end up crying. And the four of us, in these dresses- crying? It's not a good picture." Willow laughed.

"Yeah. We should be out there, like the bride and groom. Dancing with 'the one'." Tara pulled Willow to the floor, leaving Dawn and Buffy smiling after them.

"So. Are you and Spike ever gonna be up there? Mr. and Mrs?" Dawn asked softly.

"I don't know. Probably. He's persistent." Buffy laughed.

"Thank God, 'cause you're stupid." Dawn mumbled.

"Hey!"

"It doesn't matter. He loves you anyway."

"And I love him. You should know, Dawn, even if we never get married, we're always going to be together. Just like Willow and Tara, we don't need a piece of paper to make a life together, okay?"

"Good." Dawn smiled. "You two deserve to be with someone you really love and who will stick with you."

"Thanks, Sweetie." Buffy pulled Dawn along the perimeter, making their way towards Spike and Clem. "So do you."

"I'll get someone like that." Dawn's eyes wandered until they rested on Giles. "Someday."

"Maybe sooner than you think." Buffy gave her a nudge towards the man. "But don't do anything stupid."

"I'm just going to be his friend for right now. I mean-"

"Dawnie- it's okay. Go. Dance. Be happy."

"You too, Buffy."

"This is the last dance, init?" Spike whispered an hour or so later as the lights were dimmed to a candle glow.

"Looks like." Buffy rested her head more deeply under his chin.

"You saved it for me?"

"All my dances are for you. Forever." Buffy looked up at him. "And you know I mean that literally now. If there's anyone who gets immortality and life and death- it's us."

"True, Precious." Spike caressed her cheek. "Never thought I'd see this day, Luv. You and me- we're claimed, we're permanent, and all your friends know, all my friends know. An' no one cares anymore. Most of 'em even like it now. Dawn's crazy about it."

"Things never turn out the way you plan." Buffy sighed.

"Not with us." Spike laughed drily.

"It's okay though. This time- they turned out better." Buffy kissed him lingeringly as they began their last dance.

"Better than better, Pet. Couldn't ask for anything more. I've got you. Really got you." Spike looked into her eyes, his own sapphires shining even in the darkness.

"You've got more than just me." Buffy smiled up at him. "You've got a whole life. You've got a family and a partner and a house..." She trailed off. "And I have those things, too. I have what I always wanted, a normal life- even though it isn't 'normal.'" She laughed and lay her head on his chest.

"You wouldn't change it, would you, Sweetlet?" He asked with a trace of concern in his husky voice.

"No, Baby. Because then I wouldn't have you." Buffy shook her head.

"Love you, Buffy."

"I love you, too." Buffy grinned and kissed him long and hard. All around them, their friends and family moved with their own partners, none of them in a pairing that could be called orthodox, but all of them completely, blissfully, unashamedly happy.

_This concludes this portion of our saga. I hope you all enjoyed it. As always, I thank all of you who take the time to read, and especially those who take the time to review._


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